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We were taught to be "good" so we could be controlled, not because we were unconditionally loved or because it was helping us become a better person. I was just talking to someone about watching movies as a kid because there's a huge gap in the amount I've seen versus the amount they've seen. I just didn't watch that many because I wouldn't have stayed in the house during the day long enough to watch one, I would spend my whole day avoiding my house all together. Not having safe place to land in your own home is not something you can explain to someone who hasn't been through it. The anxiety of what you were going to be blamed for? Who was going to be upset with you for just breathing today? What attack was going to come out of nowhere? ​ The stress of growing up like that lives in your body as anxiety, constant tension, your mind constantly over-whelmed & the feeling that you are always failing somehow. You try so hard to get everything right and do it in a way that no one can criticize or be upset you but you NEVER feel 100% safe. That's because you have never really felt safe, not in childhood, not in adulthood. ​ I know what that feels like & the weight of growing up & being made to feel like there is something wrong with you or you are never enough. And what it feels like to build a sense of safety. To begin seeing yourself as someone who is lovable & deserving of rest, support & kindness. It takes work, but that's the work we do together. You don't have to figure all of this out alone. I've spent over a decade in this work with clients, personally and studying everything I could get my hands on about how to heal childhood trauma. If you're ready to get started in this work, I'm opening up new spots in the coming months & always happy to chat about whether it's a good fit for you. ​ ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/0vu98w5kz8h9h935wg7flhvw50v68snhxqrl5/g3hnh5hm8597zlhrh9/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs )​ ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/0vu98w5kz8h9h935wg7flhvw50v68snhxqrl5 ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/0vu98w5kz8h9h935wg7flhvw50v68snhxqrl5 ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/0vu98w5kz8h9h935wg7flhvw50v68snhxqrl5/9qhzhnhdvmwk2xa9h3/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

New on the Blog.... Still questioning if you actually have trauma that you're holding onto from Childhood? It took me a really long time to own that I had trauma... partially because it wasn't the typical things I thought of as "trauma" and partially because back then, the thought of saying my parents had hurt me was enough to trigger full blown anxiety & stress in my body. I know firsthand how much you can waffle back and forth between "Did I have trauma? Am I overreacting?" and the reality is, trauma looks like a lot of things and isn't just abuse or tragedy. AND, acknowledging it doesn't mean you had "bad parents." It just means that your feelings about what you went through or experienced finally get to be validated & cared for so you don't have to carry it around with you forever. ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2mq4qwakhkopz67oh3hm9rnx/25h2hoh3pn4ewps3h4/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9ibG9nL3RyYXVtYQ== )​ -->READ THE BLOG ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2mq4qwakhkopz67oh3hm9rnx/25h2hoh3pn4ewps3h4/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9ibG9nL3RyYXVtYQ== ) READ THE BLOG ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/blog/trauma )ALSO.... I just redid the website and would love to know how it feels to you! There are still some more pieces coming but it was definitely a labor of love & I want it to have more resources (coming) that can support you! xxx Aspen ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2mq4qwakhkopz67oh3hm9rnx ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2mq4qwakhkopz67oh3hm9rnx ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2mq4qwakhkopz67oh3hm9rnx/48hvhehmdk6nezhxh7/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

It's my favorite tradition in July... "take my son on a surprise trip" I started doing this a few years ago where I book a trip and don't tell him where we're going until we board the plane and it is one of the most FUN things... for me 😆 So for fun... if you can guess WHERE we're going, I have a surprise for you! (you can just email back with your guess!) And in the meantime, if you're looking for an appt, grab it now because July space is super limited 💜 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/o8uwzknv3ziqh62nx5kuvhqevwq4rtohr5kle/3ohphkh35d3grlbrhn/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== )​ -->GET ON THE SCHEDULE ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/o8uwzknv3ziqh62nx5kuvhqevwq4rtohr5kle/3ohphkh35d3grlbrhn/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== ) GET ON THE SCHEDULE ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/schedule ) ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/o8uwzknv3ziqh62nx5kuvhqevwq4rtohr5kle ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/o8uwzknv3ziqh62nx5kuvhqevwq4rtohr5kle ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/o8uwzknv3ziqh62nx5kuvhqevwq4rtohr5kle/wnh2hghq2oq640u7hx/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

If your mother was narcissistic & your father was passive... Then you know what it's like to have one parent tear you down while the other watches and does nothing to protect you. You learned that being able to tolerate their harsh words & painful behavior was "normal," even if you knew in your heart it wasn't. You learned that when there was no one to protect you, you had to protect yourself & that meant numbing out to your own feelings & playing the game of keeping her happy. You thought at some point, things would change... even if you weren't really aware you were hoping for that. That one day she would see you, choose you & love you in a way you had been hoping for your whole life. You may have even turned your passive parent into the good guy because it felt better than realizing how alone you were. ​ But years of trying & hoping hasn't done anything for you but give you anxiety, frustration and a heartache that makes you feel alone. That's because you've spent your life not fully being chosen by her and not fully living as you because you've been surviving the relationship with her. These are the patterns we get stuck in & spend years feeling frustrated because while we "know" what the pattern is, we can't seem to really unwind it. It lives in the million ways we've learned to navigate life with a mom who should have loved us unconditionally but didn't. You can choose a new pattern, your body just has to feel safe enough to do it & have a plan for HOW to make it happen. It's exactly what we focus on in the Inner Child Sessions. In these 5 sessions we work privately to heal the old patterns but also building new patterns that help you feel confident to set boundaries, understand what's happening in the moment so you can navigate it differently & creating a roadmap for who you want to become that feels tangible & doable. ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/38ud5pgmr5tkh2e2vl7urh4m6nn4ea7hrgplx/dpheh0he9mv5vohmh4/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs )​ -->HEAL YOUR INNER CHILD ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/38ud5pgmr5tkh2e2vl7urh4m6nn4ea7hrgplx/dpheh0he9mv5vohmh4/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs ) HEAL YOUR INNER CHILD ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/heal )If you have questions about whether it would work for you, let me know. And, if you prefer to book a single session ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/38ud5pgmr5tkh2e2vl7urh4m6nn4ea7hrgplx/7qh7h8h92mqzqpuzh6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== ) that is ok too! xxx Aspen ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/38ud5pgmr5tkh2e2vl7urh4m6nn4ea7hrgplx ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/38ud5pgmr5tkh2e2vl7urh4m6nn4ea7hrgplx ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/38ud5pgmr5tkh2e2vl7urh4m6nn4ea7hrgplx/owhkhqhwm7pop7hvhr/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

I think at first, we all assume the cost of healing is the time, money & energy it's going to take. At least I did in the beginning. I was actually petrified of even admitting that I needed therapy or any help because: (#1) That would have been criticized in my family and I didn't want to be humiliated (#2) Being "strong" was the only way I felt safe. It gave me this feeling of being somewhat invincible to hard things (legit lie.) (#3) and mental health issues ran in my family so getting "help" could very easily bring up a bunch of shame and pointing the finger to say I was "crazy" instead of actually listening to what I had been through. (spoiler alert... #1 & #3 did IN FACT happen and they sucked 😵‍💫) ​ But, when the anxiety kept me up at night for 3 years straight & the panic attacks wouldn't stop, I realized the COST of not getting support was MY LIFE. If I didn't do something different, absolutely nothing was going to change in my day to day life. There wasn't some version of me in the future that would suddenly appear out of nowhere. ​ The real cost is staying exactly where I was meant... Another year of overthinking every decision & feeling that anxiety bubble up. Another year of feeling guilty any time I didn't do what someone wanted me to do. Another year of feeling responsible for keeping everyone "happy" and "proud" at my own expense. Another year of knowing what needed to change while feeling unable to make it happen. ​ This the part we miss. That the same survival patterns that protected us as children, are going to STOP US IN OUR TRACKS AS ADULTS. ​ Those patterns will delay you, keep you in unhealthy relationships, make you terrified to set boundaries & stop you from feeling what you need to feel in order to also be happy. Yes, you read that right. You can't selectively numb out feelings forever... you numb out the painful ones and you turn the volume down on the good ones too. That's no way to live. And the longer we stay stuck in those patterns, the more normal they start to feel. ​ I know because I spent years thinking studying, reading, doing everything under the sun and what actually moved the needle forward in the end was coaching. I joined this 6 week group of other women who were healing & it changed my life and it started this entire journey. Every minute spent, every session I've been to, every investment I made, changed my life. Every piece of it mattered & gave me back some part of myself that I had lost or never even had the chance to discover. ​ That's what I want for my clients and it's why I do this work. You don't have to know what to do, that's my job. All you need to know is that you are ready to make a change and feel different. Because every day we stay in survival mode, we pay for it somewhere. If you're ready to stop paying that price, I'd love to help. ​GET STARTED WITH PERSONAL COACHING ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/27ul92qkd9foh8px70wf3hg9wewgwhghqwo3k/wnh2hghq25d8p6i7hx/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== )​ xxx Aspen ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/27ul92qkd9foh8px70wf3hg9wewgwhghqwo3k ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/27ul92qkd9foh8px70wf3hg9wewgwhghqwo3k ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/27ul92qkd9foh8px70wf3hg9wewgwhghqwo3k/08hwh9h26o4q56slh5/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

When I was in the dysfunction, I thought I was the problem. ​ I grew up in a fairly religious household... well one at the very least that used religion as an excuse to treat children like their voice was a crime & their opinion meant nothing. You were expected to be "obedient" which just translated to "do what I say without questioning it" and if you did question anything you were immediately considered "disrespectful." ​ Even though, there was never any respect for how you were being treated made you feel, how frustrating it was to never be heard & the hurt that came from always being made to feel like you were failing because you just couldn't manage to be "good enough" but were also somehow "too much." ​ My way of coping turned into achieving. Part of it was simply the realization that if I was doing really well in school and working hard & earning money there would be less for them to criticize. It would also help me get out of the house sooner if I had enough saved up. So that's what I did. ​ And tbh, I spent a couple decades replaying that pattern of achieving, over and over again until it burned my body out. That's when I realized that I actually enjoyed LIVING in a different way than I was. It's why I love beach life so much. It gives me a chance to just BE which is what I couldn't do as a child. It helped me realize that what I thought was my personality was only ever a coping mechanism and me, as myself, enjoyed slowing down & being able to just have a coffee, go on a beach walk or ride my bike. ​ But I wouldn't have gotten there without knowing the difference between what my wounds were versus who I truly was. My biggest wound is Guilt because it was used on me as a child. I would be made to feel guilty not being patient enough, not being helpful enough, having a different opinion, speaking up... I couldn't breath without being "wrong." ​ So I did what most of us do, I built my personality around always working hard & doing the "right" thing to avoid feeling guilty. And anytime I felt like I wasn't measuring up, that voice of guilt would start in my head to get me back in line. It took ALOT of work to break that pattern, I'm not gonna lie. But it is possible & once you do, the relief of not feeling like you're always letting someone down or not measuring up... it's enormous & will change your life when you don't carry that weight every single day. ​ If you're curious about which childhood wound is part of your own survival strategy, take the Childhood Wound Quiz below & find out. ​ -->CHILDHOOD WOUND QUIZ ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/wvuk82wn08cghk22gxxu7hnd5lz72i8hqo9vl/6qheh8hlg4mzrxaohk/aHR0cHM6Ly9xdWl6LnRyeWludGVyYWN0LmNvbS8jLzY5NzI0NzI3MTRlY2I3MDAxNWU5M2NjZg== ) CHILDHOOD WOUND QUIZ ( https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6972472714ecb70015e93ccf )​ And if you're looking to work more deeply, you can work with me directly & we can look at your own story, the way it's still weighing you down & build a plan forward so instead of living from these wounds, you can live from a more authentic and peaceful place. ​ -->PRIVATE COACHING ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/wvuk82wn08cghk22gxxu7hnd5lz72i8hqo9vl/kkhmh6hnqpkrwrtlh7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS8= ) PRIVATE COACHING ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/ )xxx Aspen ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/wvuk82wn08cghk22gxxu7hnd5lz72i8hqo9vl ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/wvuk82wn08cghk22gxxu7hnd5lz72i8hqo9vl ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/wvuk82wn08cghk22gxxu7hnd5lz72i8hqo9vl/58hvh7hg8wrqxxs6h4/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

​ ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/0vu98w5kz8h9h96rxvqhlhv7oq558hnhxqrl5/m2h7h5h3p4dk5nsmhq/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== )​ -->Start Working Together ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/0vu98w5kz8h9h96rxvqhlhv7oq558hnhxqrl5/m2h7h5h3p4dk5nsmhq/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== ) Start Working Together ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/schedule )Need a different time or have a question? You can always hit "Reply" and I'm happy to help! xxx Aspen ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/0vu98w5kz8h9h96rxvqhlhv7oq558hnhxqrl5 ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/0vu98w5kz8h9h96rxvqhlhv7oq558hnhxqrl5 ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/0vu98w5kz8h9h96rxvqhlhv7oq558hnhxqrl5/z2hghnhevlq96wsph0/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

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Scapegoats are notorious for feeling like they should "already be healed." It comes from being forced to be responsible at such a young age without any support. We learn that we SHOULD be perfect and capable of handling everything on our own. Healing is no different. We don't feel like we have the right to take up enough time to heal, and we think it should be done quickly. We struggle to believe we aren't a burden or that our partners won't leave if our healing feels like it's dragging on. We feel guilty using our resources to heal because that makes us a burden too. And when we get stuck, struggle, or are hurting, we become hard on ourselves because that's how we were treated as children.⛔ IT'S ALL A TRAUMA RESPONSE. And a pattern that has to be broken as part of healing. Letting go of the scapegoat role only happens when you allow your healing to become prioritized as something that is ongoing, worth it & normal for getting to the other side of what you've been through. Think about it. If you weren't allowed to have feelings as a child, the medicine is having safe spaces to talk about and feel your feelings now. To heal what happened to you, you have to receive what you didn't get. It will feel unproductive, but that's only because you were taught that you had to PERFORM, and if you weren't performing, you were wasting people's time. You really want to rewrite this pattern and break the role? You're going to have to be DEFIANT. The child who wasn't allowed to be cry, be upset, need people or take the time it legitimately took to process those feelings is going to have rebel & do just that. ​ So when you are hard on yourself for taking too much time, needing to talk about things until you're blue in the face or spend money and resources to get what you need, you are just stuck in the trauma response. ​ Do this instead... Ask yourself what your typical pattern of healing looks like? Where do you usually begin to make progress and then STOP or get STUCK? What do you feel guilty or afraid to ask for? And if you're ready to work together and tired of trying to figure out what you can't see alone, check out the Inner Child Sessions where we meet for 5 Sessions via Zoom. The intention is always to support you in releasing the emotional baggage you're holding, help your nervous system find safety & put together the pieces you are getting stuck in. ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/wvuk82wn08cghk274dxc7hndlg52vs8hqo9vl/owhkhqhwvq3exxivhr/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs )​ -->BOOK YOUR SESSIONS ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/wvuk82wn08cghk274dxc7hndlg52vs8hqo9vl/owhkhqhwvq3exxivhr/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs ) BOOK YOUR SESSIONS ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/heal )​ xxx Aspen ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/wvuk82wn08cghk274dxc7hndlg52vs8hqo9vl ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/wvuk82wn08cghk274dxc7hndlg52vs8hqo9vl ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/wvuk82wn08cghk274dxc7hndlg52vs8hqo9vl/z2hghnhevl9z5niph0/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

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If I wanted to heal my childhood trauma, this is where I would start… ​ 1️⃣ I would get honest with myself about what I was actually willing to look at right now. Not every trauma, relationship, or painful memory is ready to be healed all at once. Sometimes we don’t have the capacity, support, or resources yet. And honestly? That’s okay. I would start where I am instead of forcing myself to heal everything at once. ​ 2️⃣ I would take inventory of what feels SAFE in my life. The places I could go when things felt heavy. The habits that calmed my body. The people who actually listened. The parts of myself that helped me survive. I would build a list of resources I could lean into when things got hard. And I would also get honest about what felt unsafe. The people who dismissed my pain. The relationships that drained me. The habits, environments, or situations that kept my nervous system stuck in survival mode. Some things I could change immediately. Some things I might not be able to change yet. I would tell myself that's ok, because it honestly is. ​ 3️⃣ I would get clear on what my childhood trauma actually was. A lot of us are carrying one of these core wounds: • Abandonment • Neglect • Guilt • Betrayal And until we understand the wound, we usually keep building our lives around protecting it. If you need help figuring yours out, take the CHILDHOOD WOUND QUIZ ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/27ul92qkd9foh8pg76ns3hg9mz258fghqwo3k/owhkhqhwvg4kwnav/aHR0cHM6Ly9xdWl6LnRyeWludGVyYWN0LmNvbS8jLzY5NzI0NzI3MTRlY2I3MDAxNWU5M2NjZg== )to see which ones are strongest for you. ​ 4️⃣ I would start paying attention to where my body was stuck in fight or flight. And I would stop skipping the basics & trust that they matter more than I know. Intentional rest. Comfort foods. Reducing overwhelm. Less pressure. Comfy clothes. More routine. Because the nervous system will get the signal that it's safe when it has its basic needs met.... that doesn't happen when we're unsafe which makes it the simplest hack to begin to regulate. ​ 5️⃣ I would stop trying to explain my pain to the people who caused it. They are probably not going to understand. I wouldn’t keep putting myself through the pain of trying to convince people to care about wounds they helped create. It's just not worth it. ​ 6️⃣ I would stop treating my survival responses like personality flaws. My hyper-independence, people-pleasing, overthinking, shutdown, anxiety, perfectionism, or inability to relax didn’t come from nowhere. My body learned those patterns for a reason and they helped me when I needed them. Instead I would ask myself what was the heaviest or hardest emotion I was dealing with and NAME IT. If I could name it, I could start to explore why I felt that way and find resources to move through it. In sessions we use a bunch of tools but somatic work is great and also being able to process it with a safe and supportive person. ​ You've got this. You can't heal everything in one go and honestly... that's not very kind to the parts of you that have been coping for so long. They don't need more pressure to perform, they need compassion to just exist and be "ok" with where they truly are. xxx Aspen -->Take the Childhood Wound Quiz ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/27ul92qkd9foh8pg76ns3hg9mz258fghqwo3k/owhkhqhwvg4kwnav/aHR0cHM6Ly9xdWl6LnRyeWludGVyYWN0LmNvbS8jLzY5NzI0NzI3MTRlY2I3MDAxNWU5M2NjZg== ) Take the Childhood Wound Quiz ( https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6972472714ecb70015e93ccf )P.S. If you're looking for a safe space to unpack your story, you can book a private session here ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/27ul92qkd9foh8pg76ns3hg9mz258fghqwo3k/6qheh8hlgnpklpuo/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== ). ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/27ul92qkd9foh8pg76ns3hg9mz258fghqwo3k ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/27ul92qkd9foh8pg76ns3hg9mz258fghqwo3k ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/27ul92qkd9foh8pg76ns3hg9mz258fghqwo3k/25h2hoh3z47v34u3/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

It's 11 Ways Narcissistic Parents Harm Their Daughters... and it's not that sons don't experience these 11 things, it's that daughters grow up with the extra burden of being "good girl" in a society that values making everyone else happy at the cost of your own wellbeing and a lot of times, your own sanity. So you're probably healing not just from the pain of being the scapegoated daughter in a toxic family but also the way society makes us all feel like our worth is determined by being "kind or easy to get along with." It's a double bind. And it means that you probably have extra confusion around what your anger feels like & how to use it in a healthy way. It can mean that choosing yourself comes with a massive crash of guilt because you feel like a bad person. It can mean that your body is so used to suppressing your own emotions and needs that it's physically paying for it. ​ Here are a few of the ways Daughters are specifically harmed that you might you recognize.... * They taught you that being "good" mattered more than being real. * They made you responsible for everyone else's emotions. * They criticized your body, appearance, weight or femininity until self-conscious felt normal (Hello Millennials!) * They competed with you instead of nurturing you. * They shamed your confidence and called it arrogance or attitude. You can check out all 11 Ways HERE ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/lmupqelnvqbmhnm5k4ei6h8w42l4lcgh8ozwd/48hvhehme034rvsx/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuaW5zdGFncmFtLmNvbS9yZWVscy9EWFByak5uSm1qYi8= ) if you want to read more about them. What it means is that in your healing, you have to learn how to safely tap into your anger so you can set boundaries, push back & have access to your own healthy aggression again.... especially if you had parents who you never let you be upset or mad. It means that in your healing you are going to have to learn how to sit with the discomfort of making other people unhappy or not rushing to solve their problem and that it's ok to feel a mix of feelings in the beginning, it doesn't mean you're doing anything bad or being a bad person. Unlearning the shame & pain you've been taught it is what makes it possible for you to live your life in a way that doesn't feel packed full of emotional ups and downs. It is possible to choose yourself, set boundaries & move through life KNOWING what you need & getting it. If you're ready for coaching & working with your nervous system to move the trauma out of your body and feel confident in your own decisions, let's work together. You can schedule sessions here. ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/lmupqelnvqbmhnm5k4ei6h8w42l4lcgh8ozwd/wnh2hghqprdew7c7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== )​ And if you're curious about more on the somatic process, you can check out the blog post HERE ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/lmupqelnvqbmhnm5k4ei6h8w42l4lcgh8ozwd/reh8hohmrqpg0zb2/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9ibG9nL3NvbWF0aWNleHBlcmllbmNpbmc= ) or shoot me an email! ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/lmupqelnvqbmhnm5k4ei6h8w42l4lcgh8ozwd/wnh2hghqprdew7c7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== )​ If you have any questions, please feel free to email me! xxx Aspen ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/lmupqelnvqbmhnm5k4ei6h8w42l4lcgh8ozwd ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/lmupqelnvqbmhnm5k4ei6h8w42l4lcgh8ozwd ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/lmupqelnvqbmhnm5k4ei6h8w42l4lcgh8ozwd/08hwh9h25m43d5al/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

Tomorrow are the last 2 Session Openings before 5/29 if you've been looking for a time to schedule an appt! ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/27ul92qkd9foh8zk93du3hg9poz66fghqwo3k/p8heh9h405259daq/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== )​ -->SCHEDULE YOUR SESSION ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/27ul92qkd9foh8zk93du3hg9poz66fghqwo3k/p8heh9h405259daq/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== ) SCHEDULE YOUR SESSION ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/schedule ) ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/27ul92qkd9foh8zk93du3hg9poz66fghqwo3k ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/27ul92qkd9foh8zk93du3hg9poz66fghqwo3k ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/27ul92qkd9foh8zk93du3hg9poz66fghqwo3k/6qheh8hlg656pdbo/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

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It's not what you want, I know, but sometimes you just have to take the blame & leave... ​ A Toxic Family will have you stuck in patterns of proving & over-explaining your ENTIRE life if you let it. That feeling of "if I just say it in the right way" or show them how much I love them by going out of my way to make sure they get what they need.... maybe finally they will give me that morsel of love or see me for who I am. But they never do, because you aren't the problem. They refuse to see unhealthy behavior in themselves because they are benefitting off of having you show up the way you do. Their needs are getting met & they aren't having to face their own crappy behavior. ​ And if you grew up as the scapegoat, you know fully well how they will treat you if you don't play the game in the right way. You will be criticized, guilted or abandoned by the people you want to love you the most. For most of us, we have been through it so many times in our lives that we actively try to avoid setting them off because we're tired of dealing with it and tired of feeling hurt. BUT... hear me out. JUST TAKE THE BLAME AND LEAVE. The truth is, as the scapegoat, you are never going to be able to convince them to truly treat you differently. You might get brief moments of niceness or connection but unless they are doing the work to heal themselves, nothing will truly change until you are willing to be blamed or become the villain in their story for choosing to have better boundaries & interactions for yourself. You might not fully want to need to leave but the sentiment is the same. Be willing to be the bad guy for choosing to do what's healthiest for you. Stop tolerating what forces your body to have to spend days recovering from. Stop expecting to be understood by people who are putting in zero effort to know you. Stop expecting people to change who have never shown that they want to. Who you are is more than they make you feel like. Instead, choose to be blamed for having boundaries, for speaking up for yourself more clearly, for stepping away if you need to & for choosing to get support in your own healing. Be willing to be blamed in order to stop feeling misunderstood, unloved & anxious in your life. ​ The truth is, you will never be able to experience who you really are if you are chasing the acceptance of people who don't have the capacity to see you. I know it's confusing & full of overwhelming emotions but choosing your own happiness (even if you have to walk through grief) is worth it and if you feel stuck & unsure of what to do, that's ok. That's pretty normal actually. Working through the confusion & feelings while creating a plan is what we do together. I've been here and know what it's like to make these decisions. I also know what it's like to be on the other side & to have peace about your decisions & feel confident in the choices you make. If you're ready for coaching & working with your nervous system to move the trauma out of your body and feel confident in your own decisions, let's work together. You can schedule sessions here. ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2vz7entkhkok8owei3hm9rnx/08hwh9h2507omnfl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== )​ And if you're curious about more on the somatic process, you can check out the blog post HERE ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2vz7entkhkok8owei3hm9rnx/8ghqhohove50gzck/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9ibG9nL3NvbWF0aWNleHBlcmllbmNpbmc= ) or shoot me an email! ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2vz7entkhkok8owei3hm9rnx/08hwh9h2507omnfl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== )​ If you have any questions, please feel free to email me! xxx Aspen ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2vz7entkhkok8owei3hm9rnx ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2vz7entkhkok8owei3hm9rnx ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2vz7entkhkok8owei3hm9rnx/vqh3hrho72kxn0sg/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

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The Internet has got Somatic Healing wrong... ​ Think of an experience you had as a child that was stressful or traumatic. In that moment your body felt a certain way. It may have been frozen in fear, overwhelmed with hurt or ready to fight back. That "activation" is a normal response to that situation for you BUT if you didn't have a chance to fully respond (say you wanted to run away but had to stay still & take it) the activation gets stuck in your system. Then as the years go on, you feel that old familiar sense of being "trapped" play out. That's because the body never got to complete the action and re-regulate itself. In Somatic Experiencing, we track your nervous system to find these moments of activation and allow them to complete so your nervous system doesn't stay perpetually stuck in cycles of fight or flight. What this looks like is being guided into your nervous system & me tracking what is showing up in the way you hold your body, the way it moves (sometimes micro-movements) and even subtle things like the way you breathe. When your body is able process these things safely, you build resiliency in your nervous system, calm your body & mind and can feel the old charge or pattern dissolve. Pain that has been trapped in your body from things like 'bracing for the next attack" will start to release as well. (Shoulder pain I had for 3 years literally disappeared in a couple sessions from old bracing patterns!) It's far more powerful than exercises meant to help you connect to your body like most Somatic work is described as online. ​ It is possible to feel safe or different in your body, even if you never have. You don’t have to keep living with the brain fog, stuckness or perpetual pain in your body. Your body is ADAPTABLE & capable of change when it has the right support and environment to do it in. In​Somatic Sessions ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/zluozg5erzfnhkv023rbphwlwv42xc6hx8r02/g3hnh5hmw2976ktr/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== ) we work with your nervous system to get it unstuck, feeling safe & build resiliency so that it is capable of change that it can sustain. And if you're curious about more on the process, you can check out the blog post HERE ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/zluozg5erzfnhkv023rbphwlwv42xc6hx8r02/9qhzhnhdr8wkz2t9/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9ibG9nL3NvbWF0aWNleHBlcmllbmNpbmc= ) or shoot me an email! ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/zluozg5erzfnhkv023rbphwlwv42xc6hx8r02/g3hnh5hmw2976ktr/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== )​ If you have any questions, please feel free to email me! xxx Aspen ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/zluozg5erzfnhkv023rbphwlwv42xc6hx8r02 ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/zluozg5erzfnhkv023rbphwlwv42xc6hx8r02 ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/zluozg5erzfnhkv023rbphwlwv42xc6hx8r02/3ohphkh3g8m64qtr/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

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This is it.... Last day to snag the Workbook & Journal filled with all the questions I ask during sessions for 50% off! ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/xmuldp6m4df6hp69ervi5h2e0v04ranhvkgx8/9qhzhnhdr5revxu9/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9vZmZlcnMvYWQ2Mk5pOWM_Y291cG9uX2NvZGU9SEVBTDUw )​ -->GRAB YOUR COPY! ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/xmuldp6m4df6hp69ervi5h2e0v04ranhvkgx8/9qhzhnhdr5revxu9/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9vZmZlcnMvYWQ2Mk5pOWM_Y291cG9uX2NvZGU9SEVBTDUw ) GRAB YOUR COPY! ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/offers/ad62Ni9c?coupon_code=HEAL50 ) ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/xmuldp6m4df6hp69ervi5h2e0v04ranhvkgx8 ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/xmuldp6m4df6hp69ervi5h2e0v04ranhvkgx8 ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/xmuldp6m4df6hp69ervi5h2e0v04ranhvkgx8/3ohphkh3gpgk59tr/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

This is it.... Last day to snag the Workbook & Journal filled with all the questions I ask during sessions for 50% off! ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/zluozg5erzfnhkvezpdcphwl2gx96a6hx8r02/58hvh7hg265d4es6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9vZmZlcnMvYWQ2Mk5pOWM_Y291cG9uX2NvZGU9SEVBTDUw )​ -->GRAB YOUR COPY! ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/zluozg5erzfnhkvezpdcphwl2gx96a6hx8r02/58hvh7hg265d4es6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9vZmZlcnMvYWQ2Mk5pOWM_Y291cG9uX2NvZGU9SEVBTDUw ) GRAB YOUR COPY! ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/offers/ad62Ni9c?coupon_code=HEAL50 ) ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/zluozg5erzfnhkvezpdcphwl2gx96a6hx8r02 ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/zluozg5erzfnhkvezpdcphwl2gx96a6hx8r02 ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/zluozg5erzfnhkvezpdcphwl2gx96a6hx8r02/25h2hoh3wm7pxrs3/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

Healing Your Inner Child Journal + Workbook ------------------------------------------- Limited Price $16.50 (Reg $33!) I was actually never one to journal & hated the idea of putting down my own repetitive thoughts over and over again until I started asking myself better questions. ​ Questions that I could feel in my body versus the same cliche questions passed around online that I could answer automatically. So I wanted this Journal + Workbook to be different. I wanted it to be questions that helped you feel more clarity around what was still keeping you stuck in the past & ways to connect somatically to the body so your nervous system could have a voice too. That's this Journal. And this weekend it's 50% off as a "THANK YOU" to everyone who is doing their own work & along for the ride in this wonderful community we've built over the last decade. ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/k0up4m2d64b6h5qnrdvclhop8vmodu8hg8356/58hvh7hg2rez30u6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9vZmZlcnMvYWQ2Mk5pOWMvY2hlY2tvdXQ_Y291cG9uX2NvZGU9SEVBTDUw )​ -->START JOURNALING! ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/k0up4m2d64b6h5qnrdvclhop8vmodu8hg8356/58hvh7hg2rez30u6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9vZmZlcnMvYWQ2Mk5pOWMvY2hlY2tvdXQ_Y291cG9uX2NvZGU9SEVBTDUw ) START JOURNALING! ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/offers/ad62Ni9c/checkout?coupon_code=HEAL50 ) ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/k0up4m2d64b6h5qnrdvclhop8vmodu8hg8356 ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/k0up4m2d64b6h5qnrdvclhop8vmodu8hg8356 ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/k0up4m2d64b6h5qnrdvclhop8vmodu8hg8356/25h2hoh3wk5el0u3/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

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If you've been on the fence now is the time to grab your copy! 50% off this WEEKEND ONLY ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/27ul92qkd9foh8z2d5kb3hg99w3gvbghqwo3k/wnh2hghq6e5qqri7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9vZmZlcnMvYWQ2Mk5pOWM_Y291cG9uX2NvZGU9SEVBTDUw )​ -->GRAB YOUR COPY! ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/27ul92qkd9foh8z2d5kb3hg99w3gvbghqwo3k/wnh2hghq6e5qqri7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9vZmZlcnMvYWQ2Mk5pOWM_Y291cG9uX2NvZGU9SEVBTDUw ) GRAB YOUR COPY! ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/offers/ad62Ni9c?coupon_code=HEAL50 ) ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/27ul92qkd9foh8z2d5kb3hg99w3gvbghqwo3k ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/27ul92qkd9foh8z2d5kb3hg99w3gvbghqwo3k ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/27ul92qkd9foh8z2d5kb3hg99w3gvbghqwo3k/l2hehmhl780llws6/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

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Are they really Narcissistic or Am I Being DRAMATIC??? This is one of those questions that can feel like the label doesn't quite hit the target but you still feel the same way. ​ That's because there are 3 types of parents most of us are dealing with and while the impact is the same, their intention is not always the same. When it comes to your own childhood trauma you might be dealing with 1 of the 3: Narcissistic Parents Emotionally Immature Parents Manipulative Parents ​ Narcissistic Parents are driven by control & image. They believe that the world revolves around them & you are just an extension of them that is required to meet their needs. They will guilt & shame you when you show any agency or boundaries. Love will feel like a performance and they will require you to earn it & gaslight you into getting their way. Emotionally Immature Parents are driven by avoiding emotional discomfort. They may want connection but don't know how to sustain it because they aren't able to regulate their own emotions and play games of guilting & withdrawing when they don't know how to handle your feelings or their own. They tend to turn everything back to their own feelings & dismiss yours. Manipulative Parents are driven by getting you to behave in a certain way. They use manipulation tactics like the silent treatment, guilt, triangulation & conditional love & approval to force you to behave in a way that gets them what they want. Their behavior is all in an attempt to shape how you respond. ​ At the end of the day, the impact is the SAME but the reason WHY they do it is different. And sometimes we throw the term Narcissistic in to help create a shared vocabulary around the impact they have (because it's all so close!) but it can make it hard to validate your own experience and the way you feel if you don't technically feel the term is a perfect fit. That's ok. Impact matters more when you're healing & everything comes in varying degrees. Hurt is a sliding scale and just because one term isn't a "fits all" situation, it shouldn't shut you down from acknowledging your own experience. And if you want support in unravelling the pain you've been through, I'm here ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/mvuek7p8qki5hqp07z3imhrx2d286b3hwrn6d/owhkhqhwd9vd7osv/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== ). xxx Aspen ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/mvuek7p8qki5hqp07z3imhrx2d286b3hwrn6d/owhkhqhwd9vd7osv/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== )​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/mvuek7p8qki5hqp07z3imhrx2d286b3hwrn6d ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/mvuek7p8qki5hqp07z3imhrx2d286b3hwrn6d ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/mvuek7p8qki5hqp07z3imhrx2d286b3hwrn6d/6qheh8hlergedrso/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

When you were young, you learned that connection meant staying. And now your body probably recognizes that it doesn't "feel" great keeping that connection alive at all cost. ​ Instead it feels like... * Anxiety when you have to see them, even though part of you still hopes things will be different * Trying to share what's going on with your life but them never really showing interest so you feel deflated after * Showing up over and over again to prove your love but never feeling like you receive the same effort in return * A hollow in your heart that you carry from all the times you needed them and they didn't show up * Built up anger and frustration from being constantly misunderstood or guilted * Never feeling like you can do enough or ARE enough * Convincing yourself that you're ok, even when you aren't * Feeling the freeze kick in around them as brain fog, exhaustion & shutdown ​ This is because your body learned at a really young age to prioritize connection with them at all costs. It meant shutting down your own feelings, pretending you didn't have needs so you weren't a burden & making sure they were happy before you were considered. It's suppression of what you genuinely needed to feel safe & loved. It's the bare minimum you deserved as a child. And there is only so long you can hold that before your body & your mind can't take it anymore. ​ The good news? You don't have to spend your life feeling this way. Things can change & while it might be hard, it is possible to stop feeling this way. You don’t have to keep proving your worth through exhaustion, over-giving, or carrying everything alone. InsidePrivate Sessions ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2v2rl6tkhkogrnmds3hm9rnx/reh8hohmz4mdrnc2/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== ) we work with the root of why you do what you do. This means looking at how your body responds to your family, what you've learned you need to do in order to survive & what you're carrying emotionally that is keeping you stuck in these patterns. ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2v2rl6tkhkogrnmds3hm9rnx/reh8hohmz4mdrnc2/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== )​ If you have any questions, please feel free to email me! xxx Aspen ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2v2rl6tkhkogrnmds3hm9rnx ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2v2rl6tkhkogrnmds3hm9rnx ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2v2rl6tkhkogrnmds3hm9rnx/dpheh0henve6g9bm/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

Narcissistic parents are often hardest on their daughters ... because daughters can become the emotional mirror, their helper, their rival, the extension of their own image, or the person expected to carry what the parent refuses to deal with. It’s less about tyour worth and more about your parent’s insecurity and need to control you and wreck your self esteem so they always have the emotional upper hand. Why they were often so hard on you: 1. They expected you to be the emotional caretaker.​ You became the comforter, peacekeeper, therapist, and fixer before you were ever allowed to just be a child. 2. They projected their pain onto you.​ Their shame, insecurity, regret, envy, and unresolved wounds often landed on your shoulders. 3. They wanted control over who you were.​ How you looked, behaved, succeeded, dated, spoke, dressed, or parented felt like it belonged to them. 4. They punished your independence.​ When you found your own voice, boundaries, confidence, or identity, it was treated like betrayal. 5. They competed with you instead of nurturing you.​ Attention, beauty, success, affection, or worth could feel like a rivalry instead of love. 6. They used double standards.​ You were expected to be perfect, loyal, forgiving, high-achieving, and always available while receiving far less grace in return. 7. They resented the truth in you.​ When you noticed dysfunction and named it, you became the problem. What this did to you over time: 8. You became hyper-responsible.​ You felt like it was your job to hold everything together. 9. You confused love with earning.​ You believed care had to be bought through performance. 10. You struggled with boundaries.​ ​No felt selfish, dangerous, or like you would lose connection. 11. You lived in hypervigilance.​ You were always scanning moods, tension, disappointment, and what might go wrong next. 12. You abandoned your own needs.​ Other people came first automatically. 13. You carried chronic guilt.​ Even when you had done nothing wrong. 14. You doubted yourself.​ Especially after blame, gaslighting, or being told your reality was wrong. 15. You overfunctioned in relationships.​ You were drawn to people who needed rescuing, fixing, or endless understanding. 16. You feared success or visibility.​ Because standing out once attracted criticism, jealousy, or punishment. 17. You grieved deeply later in life.​ Not only for what happened, but for the love, protection, and safety you should have had. The deeper truth: The parts of you that became capable, intuitive, strong, empathic, and resilient were often survival skills first. Now you get to learn that your gifts are YOURS and you can use them from a place of safety and creativity. You no longer have to use them to survive. ​ ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/zluozg5erzfnhkxg2k0uphwlo66xwt6hx8r02/m2h7h5h3zwqgl0tm/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs )​ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ If this hit something deep in you… it may be time to stop carrying what was never yours. ​HEALING YOUR INNER CHILD SESSIONS ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/zluozg5erzfnhkxg2k0uphwlo66xwt6hx8r02/m2h7h5h3zwqgl0tm/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs ) were created for the daughter who became the caretaker, the fixer, the one who held it all together while losing herself in the process. Inside, you’ll learn how to unwind survival patterns, rebuild safety in your body, and become someone who no longer has to earn love through exhaustion. You don’t have to keep living in old family roles. xxx Aspen ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/zluozg5erzfnhkxg2k0uphwlo66xwt6hx8r02 ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/zluozg5erzfnhkxg2k0uphwlo66xwt6hx8r02 ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/zluozg5erzfnhkxg2k0uphwlo66xwt6hx8r02/dpheh0henro42mcm/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

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Surviving isn't a true sign of Strength & being Strong isn't a measure of your worth. ​ But growing up in narcissistic family will make you believe that the version of you that had to survive by working hard, needing nothing & being strong is the version of you that is worthy. It's actually just neglect & abuse disguised as validation & approval. It's meant to keep you from asking for what you need & stuck trying to earn approval by constantly striving to need less & do more in the name of being "strong." ​ How you know it's impacting you... * Hyper-Independence​ You struggle to ask for help and feel safer doing everything alone. * Overfunctioning​ You automatically carry more than your share and become the fixer. * People-Pleasing​ You focus on others’ needs first to feel accepted or avoid conflict. * Guilt When Resting​ Slowing down feels wrong because worth got tied to doing. * Emotional Shutdown​ You disconnect from feelings because emotions once felt unsafe. * Perfectionism​ Mistakes feel threatening because approval once depended on performance. * Difficulty Receiving Care​ Support can feel uncomfortable because giving felt safer than needing. * Identity as “The Strong One”​ You feel valuable when carrying everything, not simply being yourself. The good news? What was learned can be re-patterned. You don’t have to keep proving your worth through exhaustion, overgiving, or carrying everything alone. Inside the lnner Child Healing Package ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2nmop4hkhkord4kki3hm9rnx/kkhmh6hnvll5x7il/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs ), we work with the root of why you do what you do, in somatic coaching we build safety in your body, the ability to receive support, setting boundaries, resting, and being fully yourself. If you have any questions, please feel free to email me! xxx Aspen ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2nmop4hkhkord4kki3hm9rnx/kkhmh6hnvll5x7il/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs )​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2nmop4hkhkord4kki3hm9rnx ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2nmop4hkhkord4kki3hm9rnx ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2nmop4hkhkord4kki3hm9rnx/3ohphkh3g772kncr/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

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It's not that we don't know what's best for us. It's that doing it is going to cause you so much pain you've been avoiding for years and the thought of doing it just shuts you down so you stay stuck. There were years that I dealt with the hurt of the way I was spoken to, the way I was treated, the way that what I needed didn't even register on any scale of importance. And I knew that ANYONE deserved to be treated better but I also knew that I was afraid of hurting more than I already was. I was familiar with this pain & afraid of the anger that would come my way if I didn't do what I was told. So I did what anyone who thinks they have to earn love does... I tried harder. I communicated harder, I showed up harder, I tried to prove myself. It was absolute crap. Nothing changed because nothing was ever going to change. I was in hell & I knew what I needed to do but I couldn't. I was a billion percent frozen. ​ And there are 3 main reasons we get stuck here: * Your nervous system learned that taking action put you in danger.​ If speaking up, making choices, having needs, or upsetting a parent led to punishment, rejection, rage, or withdrawal… your body learned that doing something they didn't like = pain. So you go into freeze in order to stop action before you put yourself in harms way. So now even healthy choices can feel strangely impossible. * Freeze creates confusion to keep you still.​ When your body senses risk, it can shut down clarity, motivation, and momentum. You may call it overthinking, brain fog, procrastination, indecision, or “not knowing what I want.” But it’s a protective pattern designed to keep you from making a decision that was unsafe for you in the past. * Your body still prioritizes survival over desire.​ You may consciously want peace, boundaries, love, change, or freedom… but freeze is wired to ask one question: Will this keep me safe? If choosing yourself threatens your connection or safety, your body may keep blocking the very things your mind knows you need. This is why we have to look at Freeze, even if you don't usually resonate with it and are more of a "flight person." Freeze is what's happening when you know what to do but can't seem to do it. It's the brain fog, the shut down, the exhaustion and all the things we think are signs of just being exhausted or unclear. In reality, it's your body terrified of doing something it's been taught to be afraid of & it CAN BE RESOLVED. ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/xmuldp6m4df6hp02xk6f5h2e795wxanhvkgx8/g3hnh5hmwo0748br/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs )​ -->HEAL YOUR INNER CHILD SESSIONS ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/xmuldp6m4df6hp02xk6f5h2e795wxanhvkgx8/g3hnh5hmwo0748br/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs ) HEAL YOUR INNER CHILD SESSIONS ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/heal )If you've been on the fence about working together, you might be hitting up on an old survival pattern of knowing you need to move forward but can't quite seem to... I get it AND.... how much longer are you willing to delay living the way you want? That is the actual cost & freeze doesn't usually magically go away. It takes time, space & safety to unwind it from your nervous system and that's exactly what we do in sessions. ​ The Inner Child Sessions are individual zoom sessions where we dial into your own survival strategies, the way your upbringing shaped your world & nervous system and we use practical tools to heal & make changes. Not just a bunch of talking but an actual roadmap for healing your nervous system, how to move forward with family & being able to process the emotional trauma you've been through so you don't have to carry it anymore. If you have questions, feel free to reply & we can chat. xxx Aspen ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/xmuldp6m4df6hp02xk6f5h2e795wxanhvkgx8 ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/xmuldp6m4df6hp02xk6f5h2e795wxanhvkgx8 ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/xmuldp6m4df6hp02xk6f5h2e795wxanhvkgx8/9qhzhnhdr3ekoou9/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

If your body is overwhelmed it will power itself down. and it took me a lot of work to realize how deep my own freeze was because my normal way of getting through was a bunch of flight energy (I will "do" until I burn out for sure!) Here's what was really happening... You can still go about your business, answer texts, go to work... even smile at the right moments and say the right things but inside you feel numbed out, disconnected. You know something is "wrong" but you can't seem to figure out what it is and you don't feel like yourself. Small tasks start to feel like they take an enormous amount of energy and you begin to feel like you're being "lazy" because no matter what you try, you can't seem to motivate yourself out of it like you used to. It's not because you've lost your "spark" but because your body just can't handle anymore. It's overwhelmed and doing what it needs to protect you which is to shutdown. When your body feels like the demands being placed on it are too big, it will shut down to conserve energy, with or without your knowledge. Honestly, your body doesn't care if your conscious mind has a say at all. ​ And then for some of us, if we've had experiences where failure or pressure were too intense or too high stakes, our body will freeze to avoid going through it again. And functioning or pushing through the freeze is so common we praise it. It gets perceived as "resiliency" or strength when in fact its your body being forced to perform when it doesn't have the capacity to do so. You're depleting your well so to speak. ​ I would wager that virtually all of us have freeze that stops us in our tracks or make it feel impossible sometimes to heal the way we want to or to move forward in our lives. How could we not? We live in a world that praises forcing our way through and never has compassion for the days we need to collapse & be held. Healing isn't always about unpacking your story, it's also about receiving safe space you've never had so you can fall apart & not be "ok" so your body doesn't have to hold it all together anymore. You don't have to heal alone & you definitely don't have to figure it all out by yourself... I mean let's be real, we had to do that as children & if it actually worked, we would all be free of our trauma. ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/n4u3mor08mivhx0e26lf6h64dgnvdflh7n0wv/vqh3hrhorvx7d6tg/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs )​ -->WORK TOGETHER ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/n4u3mor08mivhx0e26lf6h64dgnvdflh7n0wv/vqh3hrhorvx7d6tg/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs ) WORK TOGETHER ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/heal )​ I'm here if support feels right for you where you're at and I'm also here if you have questions about what that looks like.... but for today, if you're feeling the freeze resonates for you, just give yourself a block of time (big or small) to just feel what you can feel. Sit with it. Get curious about it & notice where you're pushing through and need to pull back. xxx Aspen ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/n4u3mor08mivhx0e26lf6h64dgnvdflh7n0wv ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/n4u3mor08mivhx0e26lf6h64dgnvdflh7n0wv ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/n4u3mor08mivhx0e26lf6h64dgnvdflh7n0wv/7qh7h8h956k748fz/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

​ ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/92uxvzln3vanh6rnqgvs9hzqn2z02bwh93560/25h2hoh3wvlkvka3/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== )​ -->Let's Meet Tomorrow! ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/92uxvzln3vanh6rnqgvs9hzqn2z02bwh93560/25h2hoh3wvlkvka3/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== ) Let's Meet Tomorrow! ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/schedule )Need a different time or have a question? You can always hit "Reply" and I'm happy to help! xxx Aspen ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/92uxvzln3vanh6rnqgvs9hzqn2z02bwh93560 ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/92uxvzln3vanh6rnqgvs9hzqn2z02bwh93560 ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/92uxvzln3vanh6rnqgvs9hzqn2z02bwh93560/qvh8h7hdp7e97kbl/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

It's not that you don't know what to do, it's just not safe in your body to make that choice... Narcissistic parents will never let you walk away, set a boundary or make yourself a priority without some type of fight. You'll get the guilt trip, the anger, the silent treatment... whatever punishment or manipulation they have used on you your entire life to try and get you back in line. You won't ever fully feel safe because whatever was used on you as a child got wired into your nervous system and you built coping mechanisms around that so you would know exactly how to show up to avoid that pain. That's why you feel so confused trying to heal or make changes... heck even just trying to feel or think differently. You're literally trying to go against the very programming that has kept you safe. And when that confusion sets in or the brain fog rolls through... you are actually just going into some freeze meant to keep you from changing those patterns that kept you safe. ​ I know it well because I lived it too & it took me decades to make some of the changes I knew I wanted but felt so frustrated not being able to make happen in my life. These things are POSSIBLE to change. It takes safety, tools & being able to see the things in your story that you maybe can't fully see yourself... and for most of us, we need permission to change from someone outside of ourselves. I know that sounds crazy when you're trying to break those patterns (why would I let anyone tell me what to do!) but the reality is it becomes safer in our nervous systems when someone is affirming what we already know but are too afraid to choose. ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/92uxvzln3vanh6rnk0ou9hzqn2oe3bwh93560/kkhmh6hnvdzdzecl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs )​ -->HEAL YOUR INNER CHILD SESSIONS ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/92uxvzln3vanh6rnk0ou9hzqn2oe3bwh93560/kkhmh6hnvdzdzecl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs ) HEAL YOUR INNER CHILD SESSIONS ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/heal )If you've been on the fence about working together, you might be hitting up on an old survival pattern of not feeling allowed to change or receive help. I get it AND.... how much longer are you willing to delay living the way you want? That is the actual cost. ​ The Inner Child Sessions are individual zoom sessions where we dial into your own survival strategies, the way your upbringing shaped your world & nervous system and we use practical tools to heal & make changes. Not just a bunch of talking but an actual roadmap for healing your nervous system, how to move forward with family & being able to process the emotional trauma you've been through so you don't have to carry it anymore. If you have questions, feel free to reply & we can chat. xxx Aspen ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/92uxvzln3vanh6rnk0ou9hzqn2oe3bwh93560 ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/92uxvzln3vanh6rnk0ou9hzqn2oe3bwh93560 ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/92uxvzln3vanh6rnk0ou9hzqn2oe3bwh93560/25h2hoh3wvlvlei3/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

It's not that you don't know what to do, it's just not safe in your body to make that choice... Narcissistic parents will never let you walk away, set a boundary or make yourself a priority without some type of fight. You'll get the guilt trip, the anger, the silent treatment... whatever punishment or manipulation they have used on you your entire life to try and get you back in line. You won't ever fully feel safe because whatever was used on you as a child got wired into your nervous system and you built coping mechanisms around that so you would know exactly how to show up to avoid that pain. That's why you feel so confused trying to heal or make changes... heck even just trying to feel or think differently. You're literally trying to go against the very programming that has kept you safe. And when that confusion sets in or the brain fog rolls through... you are actually just going into some freeze meant to keep you from changing those patterns that kept you safe. ​ I know it well because I lived it too & it took me decades to make some of the changes I knew I wanted but felt so frustrated not being able to make happen in my life. These things are POSSIBLE to change. It takes safety, tools & being able to see the things in your story that you maybe can't fully see yourself... and for most of us, we need permission to change from someone outside of ourselves. I know that sounds crazy when you're trying to break those patterns (why would I let anyone tell me what to do!) but the reality is it becomes safer in our nervous systems when someone is affirming what we already know but are too afraid to choose. ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/mvuek7p8qki5hqzmd59fmhrxz5qxzu3hwrn6d/58hvh7hg2p7lwwh6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs )​ -->HEAL YOUR INNER CHILD SESSIONS ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/mvuek7p8qki5hqzmd59fmhrxz5qxzu3hwrn6d/58hvh7hg2p7lwwh6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs ) HEAL YOUR INNER CHILD SESSIONS ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/heal )If you've been on the fence about working together, you might be hitting up on an old survival pattern of not feeling allowed to change or receive help. I get it AND.... how much longer are you willing to delay living the way you want? That is the actual cost. ​ The Inner Child Sessions are individual zoom sessions where we dial into your own survival strategies, the way your upbringing shaped your world & nervous system and we use practical tools to heal & make changes. Not just a bunch of talking but an actual roadmap for healing your nervous system, how to move forward with family & being able to process the emotional trauma you've been through so you don't have to carry it anymore. If you have questions, feel free to reply & we can chat. xxx Aspen ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/mvuek7p8qki5hqzmd59fmhrxz5qxzu3hwrn6d ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/mvuek7p8qki5hqzmd59fmhrxz5qxzu3hwrn6d ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/mvuek7p8qki5hqzmd59fmhrxz5qxzu3hwrn6d/3ohphkh3g6zvwrsr/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

I had such a good follow up question to Wednesday's newsletter about what to do if you're a chronic fawner... ​ ​The question was "What do I do if I go into freeze during a conversation?" ​ Let' break it down because it's really common for your body to just automatically go into freeze without you even realizing it.... ​ What's happening is the freeze is still pretty automatic in your nervous system so when it happens you want to think of creating "space" so you have time to settle it before you respond. Space is the magic medicine for helping break this pattern. ​ What this looks like is recognizing it as soon as you can and voicing to the other person "I'm feeling some freeze or shut down & I need a minute." ​ ⚡️ If they're emotionally safe this should be totally fine and then you agree to come back to the convo in "x" amount of time. If they aren't emotionally safe you may have to say "give me a minute to think about that" or "let me think about it and get back to you." ​ ⚡️ You may or may not know what you want to say so it's ok to think of these as ways to give your body enough time to calm before you speak up. If you're trying to force your way through freeze in that moment, it's going to usually come out wrong, you're not going to feel confident or you won't be able to say what you really want to. ​ ⚡️ Then the key is to step away if you need to. You can just go to another room if you need to be alone, you can just sit next to each other, get a hug... whatever you feel like is going to break the pressure in your system of having to respond immediately and whatever is appropriate for that particular situation. ​ Sometimes we need comfort to remind us of our connection to the other person so we can stabilize. Other time we need space so our nervous system doesn't feel the pressure or expectations of the other person. ​ ​ This will teach your nervous system it's safe to process what you feel before you respond and give you time to get out of freeze to figure out what you want to say. ​ ​ If you have the feeling of "Crap! I should have said x,y,z" then you simply come back and say "I've had some time to get clear on what I was feeling and would like to share it." That will also help you nervous system find new safety and eventually this pattern will decrease until it's virtually gone. You will basically do this over and over again until you prove to your nervous system that it's ok to show up differently. It will build safety & the practice of being able to know in the moment what you feel or need and then communicate it more safely! Healing your own patterns & want more direct support? The Inner Child ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/mvuek7p8qki5hqz3lmrbmhrxz29nxi3hwrn6d/x0hph6he2goxk8a5/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs )sessions are where we work to heal your coping mechanisms and get you of survival mode in private sessions. You can check out the info HERE ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/mvuek7p8qki5hqz3lmrbmhrxz29nxi3hwrn6d/x0hph6he2goxk8a5/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs )​ ​ I hope that helps and if you have any other questions, just hit REPLY! xxx Aspen ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/mvuek7p8qki5hqz3lmrbmhrxz29nxi3hwrn6d ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/mvuek7p8qki5hqz3lmrbmhrxz29nxi3hwrn6d ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/mvuek7p8qki5hqz3lmrbmhrxz29nxi3hwrn6d/6qheh8hlrqz0xkto/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

I was asked this question on IG the other day and it's a PHENOMENAL question... At it's heart, Fawning is survival strategy rooted in needing to be "easy," "compliant," or "good" in order to not trigger the person that feels unsafe. Sometimes it's because we're young and they have authority or power, they might physically harm us or pull their love from us and we learn how to keep them happy and pretend like we're ok when we're not in order to keep the situation feeling manageable for our little selves. ​ We can take that into adulthood not realizing the immense pressure we carry to always keep everyone happy... and if you grew up in a household that parented with guilt nor shame you probably feel like you've done something "bad or wrong" if you don't keep other people happy. ​ In the reel I share 2 things I give my clients in sessions that you can do that can help to begin to break the pattern and also build some safety so it doesn't feel terrifying every time you honor yourself first. -->WATCH THE REEL ON IG ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/v8umo3pr0ofrhvrd9n8ighv07x8x5i9hkxnol/vqh3hrho0zr7xkfg/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuaW5zdGFncmFtLmNvbS9yZWVscy9EVzJEYnBFa1FPdC8= ) WATCH THE REEL ON IG ( https://www.instagram.com/reels/DW2DbpEkQOt/ ) ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/v8umo3pr0ofrhvrd9n8ighv07x8x5i9hkxnol/vqh3hrho0zr7xkfg/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuaW5zdGFncmFtLmNvbS9yZWVscy9EVzJEYnBFa1FPdC8= )​ xxx Aspen P.S. It's ok to not always get it "right." Your worth as a person doesn't depend on keeping others happy. It doesn't change if someone is upset with you. Your worth is not up for discussion because you matter. ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/v8umo3pr0ofrhvrd9n8ighv07x8x5i9hkxnol ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/v8umo3pr0ofrhvrd9n8ighv07x8x5i9hkxnol ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/v8umo3pr0ofrhvrd9n8ighv07x8x5i9hkxnol/dpheh0he6lng4ehm/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

​ ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/qdugl82rqli7h4p2045flh8d5m4o9c4h4vz6o/owhkhqhw9m40vpiv/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== )​ -->Let's Meet Tomorrow! ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/qdugl82rqli7h4p2045flh8d5m4o9c4h4vz6o/owhkhqhw9m40vpiv/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== ) Let's Meet Tomorrow! ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/schedule ) ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/qdugl82rqli7h4p2045flh8d5m4o9c4h4vz6o ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/qdugl82rqli7h4p2045flh8d5m4o9c4h4vz6o ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/qdugl82rqli7h4p2045flh8d5m4o9c4h4vz6o/z2hghnhe62omv6up/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

And I know firsthand that it won't get better. ​ In the land of childhood trauma we were taught that putting up with family's harmful crap was just part of loving people... and it took me years to realize that was bullsh*t. ​ People who love you actually care about how you feel. They don't keep doing the things that hurt you and expect you to get over it. They don't keep treating you like your boundaries don't matter because they don't want to acknowledge them They don't force their unhealthy narrative of "love" down your throat so you will just shut up and keep the peace. ​ If someone loves you, they LISTEN, they RESPOND & they REPAIR. They care when you say you're not "ok." They check in on you when you're doing crappy AND when you're ok. They change their behavior to make sure they don't hurt you again. They anticipate & consider you. They are interested in what's going on in your life. They don't allow other family members to treat you poorly and are willing to have a voice when they do. ​ Childhood trauma will have you believing that if you just "try harder" you will finally meet the bar they set for you, that you will finally be understood and they will "get" why their actions hurt you.... and that's just your childhood brain protecting you from a time when you had no choice but survive. ​ The longer you tolerate it, the more your body & your emotions live in a state of constant stress. You don't owe anyone that. That's paying with your time, your wellbeing and your life. ​ If you've struggled with what to do or how to break the cycle, I understand. I've been there & I know how hard it can be. This work matters more than any other work I've ever done because it impacted my health, my parenting, relationships and my life. I've lived it & had to make a million hard decisions that I fought for a really long time. I don't want you to have to struggle the way I did because there is a way out of feeling this way and living this way. ​ I'm here to help and you have options. I have a specific package just for workin on childhood trauma (I'll put it below!) ​ -->WORK TOGETHER TO HEAL CHILDHOOD TRAUMA ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/d0uk2em9p2c0honk9xdamhz2xklxqilhnp7vg/z2hghnhe6290xmcp/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs ) WORK TOGETHER TO HEAL CHILDHOOD TRAUMA ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/heal )Or if you don't know where to start, you can start with a regular Video Session if you feel like there are other things that you want to include. You can't book the wrong session because we will always go where you need to go... so don't get stuck in overthinking things or feeling like you have to know where we will start. That's my job to help you out & take off some of the pressure. ​ -->BOOK A REGULAR VIDEO SESSION ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/d0uk2em9p2c0honk9xdamhz2xklxqilhnp7vg/kkhmh6hnw0g4qdhl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== ) BOOK A REGULAR VIDEO SESSION ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/schedule )And if you still feel stuck or need a little bit more conversation to feel safe enough to start working with someone new, shoot me an email. I'm always happy to connect, answer questions or help you see if it feels like a good fit to you. ​ xxx Aspen ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/d0uk2em9p2c0honk9xdamhz2xklxqilhnp7vg ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/d0uk2em9p2c0honk9xdamhz2xklxqilhnp7vg ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/d0uk2em9p2c0honk9xdamhz2xklxqilhnp7vg/qvh8h7hdwmgq52il/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

I tried for years to keep fixing things I didn't break and I wish I hadn't... This is what I learned and I hope you don't have to learn the hard way like I did. ​ 1. You can spend your entire life trying to explain your pain… and still not be understood. If they wanted to understand you… you would feel it. Immediately. Not confusion. Not frustration. Not that constant feeling of having to “say it better.” If you keep thinking: 👉 “Maybe I just need to explain it differently…” It’s not your explanation. They don’t want to understand. Healthy parents don’t leave you more confused after you open up. They ask questions & the repair. 2. If your nervous system is constantly fried around them… the cost is too high. ⚠️ Living in chronic stress is not neutral. It will show up in. your body as: * exhaustion * anxiety * brain fog * shutdown And over time… your body pays for it. This isn’t something that just “gets better.” 👉 The longer you stay, the more it wears you down. Set the boundary. Sooner, not later. 3. You can’t talk your way out of trauma. 🧠➡️🫁 You can understand everything. See every pattern. Explain it perfectly. …and still feel stuck. Because trauma isn’t just in your thoughts. It lives in your body. If it’s not processed through your nervous system… you stay in survival mode. You're just more aware of it but still confused as to why you can't feel better. 4. If abandonment is your core wound… this is the part that feels impossible. 💔 Going No Contact doesn’t just feel hard. It feels like: 👉 facing the thing your system has been wired to fear the most So it can look like: * “I just can’t choose myself” * “I don’t know what’s wrong with me” But that’s not what’s happening. You’re not struggling to choose yourself. You’re facing: 👉 the fear of abandonment 👉 the grief of what you didn’t get 👉 the loss of what you hoped they’d become And yes… that part is real. But so is this: 👉 You will survive it. At some point, healing asks you to face the grief head-on… instead of staying in the pattern that’s hurting you. If this is where you are right now… I get it because I have been there. I've been low contact, full contact and no contact and each choice comes with it's own set of things you have to deal with and not one answer is right for everyone. ​ But if you're tired of feeling stressed out, anxious and soul level exhausted, it can change. That's the healing we focus on in the Inner Child Sessions. It's real, grounded work to help you heal your body alongside your emotions. All the info is below! ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/0vu98w5kz8h9h9ro63rulhv8erdqnbnhxqrl5/m2h7h5h35zq644cm/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs )​ -->FIND OUT THE DETAILS ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/0vu98w5kz8h9h9ro63rulhv8erdqnbnhxqrl5/m2h7h5h35zq644cm/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs ) FIND OUT THE DETAILS ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/heal )​ If you have questions, you can always hit "REPLY" and I'm happy to answer them. ​ — Aspen Somatic Experiencing Practitioner & Trauma Coach ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/0vu98w5kz8h9h9ro63rulhv8erdqnbnhxqrl5 ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/0vu98w5kz8h9h9ro63rulhv8erdqnbnhxqrl5 ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/0vu98w5kz8h9h9ro63rulhv8erdqnbnhxqrl5/e0hph7h7vol3rza8/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

******************** August Knox Coaching ******************** ​ -------------------------------------- You don't heal by just getting thru... You just get better at surviving -------------------------------------- - ↓ - And the reason why is that no matter how much smarter or quicker you become at handling things that are not good for you, the bigger the toll is on your body & heart. Surviving comes with a cost. Avoiding your trauma comes with a cost. ----------------------------------------------------------------- And eventually that cost adds up and your body will not be able to stuff it down any longer. I know because I thought if I could manage keeping things "handled" in my own family that I would be able to move on with the past & everything would be ok at some point. But the reality is that we aren't designed to suffer and survive AND be healthy and happy at the same time. That's just an old toxic pattern of believing that love & pain can coexist. It's garbage & all it's going to do is keep you locked into pain patterns. It's going to give you anxiety, make your heart race whenever you have to deal with them, shut you down, make you feel unworthy and that you aren't trying hard enough & keep you living in a state of high alert. THE COST IS TOO HIGH. I know because I started this work 13 years ago and any iteration of trying to pretend like something wasn't "bad enough" or waiting to face my own healing... I've been through. I have always regretted the time I spent putting up with being treated poorly and the years I've avoided things that felt too hard....but I have never regretted starting the work of digging into my own healing. There is not healing that has ever not been worth the cost of showing up and making changes. ​ That's why I've revamped the Inner Child Sessions. It's 5 focused sessions to help you with real tools & guidance on where you are now. You don't have to know where to start, you just have to be willing to start. ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/mvuek7p8qki5hq5roo0cmhr2o90gqu3hwrn6d/6qheh8hlrzvexpto/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs )​ --> Still have questions? --------------------- Just "Reply" back and I'm happy to help you out. Sometimes you need more info to know if it's right for you. P.S. If you aren't ready for 1:1 because it feels too intense, start with the Childhood Trauma Journal for all the questions I ask in sessions. PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/mvuek7p8qki5hq5roo0cmhr2o90gqu3hwrn6d ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/mvuek7p8qki5hq5roo0cmhr2o90gqu3hwrn6d )​ ​ ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/mvuek7p8qki5hq5roo0cmhr2o90gqu3hwrn6d/kkhmh6hnwrgvzlhl/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

Many of the women I work with have spent years in therapy. And therapy can be incredibly helpful. It gives language to experiences that once felt confusing. But trauma doesn’t only live in the story. It lives in the body’s survival responses. Which is why you might still experience things like: • freezing during confrontation • shutting down emotionally • feeling anxious when someone is upset with you • your body going on alert when someone raises their voice Your nervous system learned these reactions when you were young. And insight alone doesn’t always change them. That’s why inside HEAL YOUR INNER CHILD PROGRAM, we work with the body directly through somatic healing practices. This helps the nervous system release the survival patterns it’s been holding for years. When that happens, many people notice: • conflict no longer feels terrifying • they stop automatically people-pleasing • their body feels calmer and more grounded • they trust themselves again Healing becomes something you experience, not just understand. You can learn more here ​ -->HEAL YOUR INNER CHILD PROGRAM ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/n4u3mor08mivhxqzzq2t6h6wm99o4hlh7n0wv/08hwh9h2eg3d95cl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs ) HEAL YOUR INNER CHILD PROGRAM ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/heal )– Aspen ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/n4u3mor08mivhxqzzq2t6h6wm99o4hlh7n0wv ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/n4u3mor08mivhxqzzq2t6h6wm99o4hlh7n0wv ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/n4u3mor08mivhxqzzq2t6h6wm99o4hlh7n0wv/vqh3hrho0ezpvztg/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LW1haWwzLmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

In dysfunctional families, children aren’t allowed to just be children. They’re given roles. Maybe you were: The peacekeeper​ The overachiever​ The responsible one​ The scapegoat​ The hyper-independent child Each of these roles was a survival strategy. Ways your nervous system adapted to stay safe. Maybe you became the one who: • fixed everyone's problems • avoided conflict at all costs • stayed quiet to keep the peace • tried to be perfect so no one would criticize you Those roles helped you survive childhood. But as an adult they often show up as: • anxiety • burnout • people-pleasing • fear of disappointing others • difficulty trusting yourself Inside HEAL YOUR INNER CHILD, we work on releasing those survival patterns so you can stop living inside the role you were given. And finally discover who you are outside of it. ✨ Learn more here ​ -->Let's Work Together! ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/38ud5pgmr5tkh2mlklvhrh4p6mqrpf7hrgplx/kkhmh6hnwn2gv6ul/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs ) Let's Work Together! ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/heal )– Aspen ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/38ud5pgmr5tkh2mlklvhrh4p6mqrpf7hrgplx ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/38ud5pgmr5tkh2mlklvhrh4p6mqrpf7hrgplx ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/38ud5pgmr5tkh2mlklvhrh4p6mqrpf7hrgplx/58hvh7hgxgop27b6/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

One of the most heartbreaking things I see in trauma survivors is this: They think they’re doing something wrong. They say things like: "I’ve been working on myself for years." "I understand my trauma but I still react." "I should be further along by now." But the truth is… Many healing approaches were never designed for nervous system trauma. They focus on: Understanding the past Reframing beliefs Talking through experiences And those things can absolutely help. But trauma doesn’t only live in thoughts. It lives in the body’s survival responses. That’s why you might still experience things like: • Freezing during conflict • Feeling exhausted after social interactions • Your body going on high alert when someone is angry • Difficulty relaxing even when life is calm These reactions are signals from a nervous system still carrying unresolved survival energy. The work we do inside the Heal Your Inner Child Program focuses on releasing that stored survival response so your body can finally experience safety again. Inside this work we focus on: ✨ Understanding your childhood survival patterns ✨ Releasing stored trauma responses in the body ✨ Helping your nervous system experience safety again ✨ Reconnecting with the parts of you that were shut down in childhood This is the work that moves people from: “I understand my trauma.” to “My body finally feels free.” If you’ve been feeling stuck in your healing journey… this program was created for you. You can learn more here: -->I WANT MORE INFO ( ) Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/p9u90e2r30h9h26ok6zaqhp0g7gwpfrhm83p4 ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/p9u90e2r30h9h26ok6zaqhp0g7gwpfrhm83p4 ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/p9u90e2r30h9h26ok6zaqhp0g7gwpfrhm83p4/owhkhqhw94gxvwfv/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

If you grew up in a dysfunctional family system… you were probably assigned a role. Most people in my work recognize themselves immediately as one of these: The over-responsible child​ The peacekeeper​ The emotional caretaker​ The problem child / scapegoat​ The hyper-independent one And what these roles all have in common is this: They were survival strategies. Ways your nervous system learned to stay safe in an environment where emotional safety didn’t exist. Maybe you became: • The child who tried to fix everyone • The one who was blamed for everything • The one who stayed quiet to avoid conflict • The one who became “mature” too early But here’s the part most people don’t realize… Those roles don’t disappear when childhood ends. They become adult patterns. Patterns like: • Feeling responsible for everyone else's emotions • Difficulty trusting people • Relationships that feel draining • Anxiety when someone is upset with you • A constant feeling of “not enough” This is why so many survivors feel frustrated after years of personal development. They understand the story. But their nervous system is still operating on the same survival blueprint. Inside my Heal Your Inner Child Program, we work directly with those survival patterns in the body. Not just the memories. Because once the nervous system begins to release what it has been holding… everything changes. You stop trying to manage life. You start actually feeling safe living it. Learn more here if this resonates with you: ​ -->HEAL YOUR INNER CHILD SESSIONS ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2dzro7ukhkgvg6peh3hm9rnx/dpheh0he67wml2tm/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs ) HEAL YOUR INNER CHILD SESSIONS ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/heal )Healing isn’t about fixing you. It’s about helping your nervous system realize… you were never the problem, the environment was. – Aspen ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2dzro7ukhkgvg6peh3hm9rnx ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2dzro7ukhkgvg6peh3hm9rnx ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2dzro7ukhkgvg6peh3hm9rnx/owhkhqhw98l7q3iv/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

Most people who end up here have already tried to heal. Therapy. Journaling. Books. Understanding their childhood. And yet… Something still feels stuck. You understand why you are the way you are… but your body still reacts like you're in danger. Someone raises their voice and your chest tightens. You feel exhausted after setting a boundary. You over-analyze everything you say. And no matter how much insight you gain… Your nervous system still feels like it’s living in survival mode. That’s because trauma isn’t just a memory. It’s something the body learned to hold onto. Things like: • People pleasing even when you’re exhausted • Feeling responsible for everyone’s emotions • A harsh inner critic that never turns off • Feeling unsafe being fully yourself • Shutting down or freezing during conflict These aren’t personality flaws. They’re survival responses your nervous system learned in childhood. And healing those patterns requires more than understanding them. It requires working with the body where those survival responses live. That’s exactly what I teach inside my program. A mind + body approach to healing childhood trauma so you can finally stop living in survival mode. If you've spent years trying to figure out why you feel this way… this might be the missing piece. ❤️ You can learn more here: -->HEAL YOUR INNER CHILD ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2dwp8oakhkg559gzi3hm9rnx/58hvh7hgxo8wlks6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs ) HEAL YOUR INNER CHILD ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/heal )Because healing shouldn’t feel like endlessly analyzing the past & being stuck re-telling your story over and over again. It should feel like finally living your own life. – Aspen ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2dwp8oakhkg559gzi3hm9rnx ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2dwp8oakhkg559gzi3hm9rnx ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2dwp8oakhkg559gzi3hm9rnx/qvh8h7hdw253qqil/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

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Hi friend, There’s a moment many women from dysfunctional families eventually have. Not a dramatic moment. More like a quiet realization. “Something about the way I’m living… doesn’t feel right.” You might notice it when: • you over-explain yourself to people who barely listen • you keep the peace while your body feels tight and exhausted​ • you feel responsible for everyone else’s emotions • you can read the room instantly… but struggle to name what you feel From the outside, people say things like: ✨ “You’re so strong.”​ ✨ “You’re so self-aware.”​ ✨ “You hold everything together.” But inside it often feels more like: ⚠️ hyper-vigilance​ ⚠️ emotional exhaustion​ ⚠️ carrying roles you never chose Because when you grow up in a chaotic or emotionally unsafe environment… your nervous system learns identities like: 🧠 the fixer​ 🧠 the over-functioner​ 🧠 the peacemaker​ 🧠 the one who holds it all together These roles kept you safe once. ​ ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/75uzv7483vc8h6lw39nbzhwrvk8gkbnho7k3m/kkhmh6hnw5nz2dbl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs )​ 👉 But they can quietly follow you into adulthood… into relationships, work, boundaries, even your sense of self. And eventually something inside you starts asking a different question: “What would my life feel like if I didn’t have to live in survival mode?” That question is often the beginning of healing. Because the truth is: You can’t force yourself out of survival patterns your body learned years ago. But you can gently help your nervous system release them. That’s the work I guide women through in private sessions. ✨ Somatic nervous system healing ✨ Trauma-informed coaching ✨ Mind-body work that helps stored emotional patterns finally process So instead of constantly managing life… your body begins to experience something new: 💛 calm where there used to be tension​ 💛 clarity where there used to be confusion​ 💛 boundaries that feel natural instead of terrifying Not because you forced yourself to change. But because your nervous system finally feels safe enough to live differently. If you feel like you’ve been functioning in survival mode for years… this work may resonate deeply with you. You can learn more about working together here: -->I'm Ready to Get Out of Survival Mode ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/75uzv7483vc8h6lw39nbzhwrvk8gkbnho7k3m/kkhmh6hnw5nz2dbl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs ) I'm Ready to Get Out of Survival Mode ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/heal )Your healing isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about finally giving your nervous system the safety it never had. — Aspen Somatic Experiencing Practitioner & Trauma Coach ​ P.S. Not quite ready to work in person? You can always dive in with the CHILDHOOD TRAUMA JOURNAL ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/75uzv7483vc8h6lw39nbzhwrvk8gkbnho7k3m/58hvh7hgxng3oni6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zYWxlcy1wYWdl ) to get started on the questions I use in session to begin uncovering your Major Childhood Wounds! ​ ​ ​ ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/75uzv7483vc8h6lw39nbzhwrvk8gkbnho7k3m ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/75uzv7483vc8h6lw39nbzhwrvk8gkbnho7k3m ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/75uzv7483vc8h6lw39nbzhwrvk8gkbnho7k3m/qvh8h7hdw4de22cl/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

Last Session Until March 27th Tomorrow at 9am CST ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/p9u90e2r30h9h26zmm7bqhp02v497hrhm83p4/3ohphkh3m63pv7br/aHR0cHM6Ly9hcHAuYWN1aXR5c2NoZWR1bGluZy5jb20vc2NoZWR1bGUucGhwP2FwcG9pbnRtZW50VHlwZT01MzA2NTEzJm93bmVyPTE0OTYwMzA3 )​ ​ -->BOOK A SESSION ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/p9u90e2r30h9h26zmm7bqhp02v497hrhm83p4/n2hohvhvqwv7evi6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== ) BOOK A SESSION ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/schedule ) ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/p9u90e2r30h9h26zmm7bqhp02v497hrhm83p4 ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/p9u90e2r30h9h26zmm7bqhp02v497hrhm83p4 ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/p9u90e2r30h9h26zmm7bqhp02v497hrhm83p4/48hvhehmlzmxk6sx/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

​ ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/p9u90e2r30h9h269rvgcqhp0lkqorirhm83p4/vqh3hrhol5o25vig/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs )​ Hi friend 💛 There’s something no one really explains about healing from childhood trauma. You can understand your past perfectly… know exactly why your family was the way it was… and still feel like your nervous system hits the brakes when your life starts moving forward. Success feels scary. Boundaries feel exhausting. Peace feels unfamiliar. Not because you’re doing anything wrong. But because your nervous system spent years learning how to survive your environment. And sometimes… it just hasn’t learned yet that your life is different now. ​ If you grew up in a chaotic, emotionally unsafe, or narcissistic family… Your body learned things like: • visibility isn’t safe • speaking up causes conflict • other people’s emotions are your responsibility • peace means something bad is about to happen So even when life changes… Your nervous system still reacts as if you’re back there. That’s why trauma healing can feel confusing. You can do years of therapy, journaling, or personal growth… …and still feel like part of you is stuck in survival mode. Because trauma isn’t just psychological. It’s physiological. Your body is still carrying unfinished survival responses. ​ ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/p9u90e2r30h9h269rvgcqhp0lkqorirhm83p4/vqh3hrhol5o25vig/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs )​ I know this feeling well. My own healing journey started after my son was born prematurely and I spent years dealing with PTSD and panic attacks. And what I eventually realized was this: Healing couldn’t just happen in my mind. My body had to feel safe again too. When I began working with somatic practices alongside the emotional trauma… Everything changed. The panic stopped. My body started calming down. And I finally felt like myself again. ​ This is the work I now help clients do inside my private healing sessions. We work with the mind, body, and nervous system together, because childhood trauma lives in all three. Inside sessions we: ✨ identify the core inner-child wounds ✨ release emotional energy your body is still holding ✨ retrain your nervous system to feel safe again ✨ reconnect you to the version of you underneath survival mode This isn’t about rehashing the past forever. It’s about helping your body finally finish what it couldn’t process back then. ​ ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/p9u90e2r30h9h269rvgcqhp0lkqorirhm83p4/vqh3hrhol5o25vig/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs )​ When this pattern begins to heal, something beautiful happens. Life stops feeling like something you’re bracing for. Success no longer triggers panic. You stop feeling responsible for everyone else’s emotions. Boundaries stop draining you. And your body finally understands something it never got to learn as a child: You’re safe now. If this resonates with you, I would love to support you. My 1:1 Healing Sessions are designed to help you release the emotional and nervous-system patterns still holding you in survival mode. ✨ Mindset & Beliefs ✨ Body Stuck in Survival Mode ✨ Who You Want to Be So you can move forward without your past pulling you back. 👉 Learn more about working together here​ ​https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/heal ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/p9u90e2r30h9h269rvgcqhp0lkqorirhm83p4/vqh3hrhol5o25vig/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9oZWFs )​ Or if you're ready, you can book a session directly. ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/p9u90e2r30h9h269rvgcqhp0lkqorirhm83p4/l2hehmhlegl5g4s6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== )​ You deserve a life that doesn’t feel like survival anymore. xxx Aspen 💛 ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/p9u90e2r30h9h269rvgcqhp0lkqorirhm83p4 ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/p9u90e2r30h9h269rvgcqhp0lkqorirhm83p4 ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/p9u90e2r30h9h269rvgcqhp0lkqorirhm83p4/m2h7h5h3vr3kr0am/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

----------------------------------------------------------------- 22 signs your nervous system is still protecting you from the family you grew up in... ----------------------------------------------------------------- - ↓ - 1. Success triggers anxiety instead of relief --------------------------------------------- When things start going well, your body becomes uneasy. Progress can feel strangely unsafe. 2. You feel exhausted after setting boundaries ---------------------------------------------- Even healthy boundaries can trigger a nervous system crash because historically boundaries caused conflict or rejection. 3. You over-explain simple decisions ------------------------------------ Your nervous system learned that every choice might be questioned or criticized. 4. You freeze when someone is upset with you -------------------------------------------- Even mild tension can shut down your ability to respond or think clearly. 5. You sabotage opportunities that could change your life --------------------------------------------------------- Growth can feel like leaving the familiar family role your nervous system was conditioned to maintain. 6. You feel guilty when life becomes peaceful --------------------------------------------- Your body may associate calm with “waiting for the next problem.” 7. Compliments feel uncomfortable or suspicious ----------------------------------------------- Being seen positively may feel unsafe if attention in childhood came with strings attached. 8. You intellectually understand your trauma but your body still reacts ----------------------------------------------------------------- You know the “why,” but your nervous system still defaults to protection. 9. You stay calm during chaos but shut down during intimacy ----------------------------------------------------------- Your system learned to function in stress but struggles with emotional closeness. 10. You constantly scan conversations for hidden meaning -------------------------------------------------------- Hyper-vigilance developed to anticipate emotional landmines. 11. You feel responsible for other people’s emotional states ------------------------------------------------------------ If someone is uncomfortable, your nervous system feels like it must fix it. 12. You struggle to identify what you actually want --------------------------------------------------- Years of adapting to others can disconnect you from your own signals. 13. You feel an urge to disappear when you’re seen or recognized ---------------------------------------------------------------- Visibility can activate old fear of criticism, jealousy, or retaliation. 14. You procrastinate on things that matter most ------------------------------------------------ The closer something gets to real change, the more the nervous system pulls back. 15. You become extremely logical when emotions arise ---------------------------------------------------- Thinking becomes a way to stay safe instead of feeling. 16. You replay conversations long after they end ------------------------------------------------ Your nervous system searches for mistakes to prevent future rejection. 17. You attract relationships where you over-function ----------------------------------------------------- Your body defaults to the role it learned: stabilizing others. 18. You feel uneasy receiving help ---------------------------------- Independence became the safest survival strategy. 19. You feel shame after advocating for yourself ------------------------------------------------ Even when you did nothing wrong. 20. You feel strangely empty after emotional breakthroughs ---------------------------------------------------------- Release can trigger a temporary nervous system freeze. 21. You feel like you’re “waiting for something bad to happen” when life is good ----------------------------------------------------------------- Safety can feel unfamiliar to a nervous system trained in unpredictability. 22. You feel fear when you start becoming the person you wanted to be ----------------------------------------------------------------- Because healing often means leaving the identity your family system assigned you.​ ​ The deeper pattern underneath ----------------------------- If you grew up in a narcissistic family systems, your nervous system learned: * Being seen was dangerous * Autonomy created conflict * Success disrupted family roles * Calm meant the storm was coming So when life begins to change, the body can react with: • freeze • procrastination • self-sabotage • exhaustion • withdrawal Not because you don’t want the change — but because your nervous system learned that change once came with consequences. When this pattern starts to heal, life stops feeling like something you’re bracing for. Success, visibility, and progress no longer trigger panic or the urge to pull back. You can set boundaries or speak honestly without days of guilt or nervous system exhaustion. Other people’s emotions stop feeling like your responsibility to manage. And for the first time, your body begins to experience what real safety and peace actually feel like. ​ -->WORK TOGETHER 1:1 TO HEAL YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/5qu76vm806u7hnxowxqi6h9lok522inh4m8v0/08hwh9h2vl8wdkhl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== ) WORK TOGETHER 1:1 TO HEAL YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/schedule ) --> ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/5qu76vm806u7hnxowxqi6h9lok522inh4m8v0/08hwh9h2vl8wdkhl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== ) Imagine your life not triggering your nervous system anymore. No more freezing when things start going well. If you're ready to start the work together, you can schedule time to work together 1:1 and if you still have questions, feel free to hit "REPLY" and I'm happy to answer any questions you have. xxx Aspen PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/5qu76vm806u7hnxowxqi6h9lok522inh4m8v0 ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/5qu76vm806u7hnxowxqi6h9lok522inh4m8v0 )​ ​ ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/5qu76vm806u7hnxowxqi6h9lok522inh4m8v0/8ghqhohozr4pl5hk/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

When it feels safe enough to be in your body you find it's safe to be a participant in your own life again. ​ ​ Putting yourself back together after growing up in a household that scarred you is not easy. It can leave you feeling like every day is a struggle with brain fog that just keeps you frustrated & confused about what you're doing wrong & why you just can't "heal." I know what it's like to spend years working so hard to figure it out, trying to solve the pain puzzle by understanding one more thing or talking through the story over and over again... and nothing feeling like it's changing. It doesn't mean you're doing it wrong if you feel this way. And I can promise you that you're not alone in finding yourself in this place after years of working on yourself. When we start to heal, most us are naturally in a place of needing to be witnessed. We NEED to talk our story out, we NEED to put the words together to understand what we went through... and we've also probably spent years living outside of our body, disconnected from feeling, so mentally processing things is already pretty dang easy. But this is just one of 3 parts of you that need supported. 2nd is your emotions and all the feelings that came up during those experiences and the emotions that got triggered because of them moving forward. Typically we do a pretty good job of getting here next in our healing. 3rd is the hardest for all of us (yup, I'm making that statement) which is feeling things while being back in our body. Our body is not always safe if we've had trauma. If we're too overwhelmed by what's happening or if we're harmed physically, we will disconnect in order to get through it. It's just easier to turn down the volume on what we're feeling & move into our heads and try to think or rationalize our way through it (I'm guilt of this too.) ​ You need safe space to be ok being in your body. This is what somatics actually is. It's not movement like the internet says but safe space where we actually track what is happening in your body and then allow your body to follow it's own movement to unwind the trauma from the nervous system. Last year during a session I had for myself, I worked on my shoulders which had horrific pain for 3 years (mid-divorce) and had tried everything to get it to stop but nothing worked until I did a somatic session. It's powerful what the body holds. It holds your story but also a key to your healing. When it feels safe enough to be in your body you find that it's safe enough to be a participant in your own life again... You feel present, you know what you need and want from life, it's easier to set boundaries in the moment & you feel like life has color again. If you've tried everything and feel frustrated by not being able to feel the way you want to in your life, this could be the piece your body needs. Feel free to email back and ask any questions you might have and if you're interested in a session you can book it below. -->Schedule a Session ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/zluozg5erzfnhk6kmelcphwg8w0lqs6hx8r02/e0hph7h763rxpvc8/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== ) Schedule a Session ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/schedule )xxx Aspen ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/zluozg5erzfnhk6kmelcphwg8w0lqs6hx8r02 ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/zluozg5erzfnhk6kmelcphwg8w0lqs6hx8r02 ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/zluozg5erzfnhk6kmelcphwg8w0lqs6hx8r02/owhkhqhwpmqzkviv/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

Extra Openings Added before I go out of town this Month (Sat March 14th added!) ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/lmupqelnvqbmhn2545mt6h8v5509mbgh8ozwd/owhkhqhwpdwom9sv/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== )​ -->Book Your Session ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/lmupqelnvqbmhn2545mt6h8v5509mbgh8ozwd/owhkhqhwpdwom9sv/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== ) Book Your Session ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/schedule ) ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/lmupqelnvqbmhn2545mt6h8v5509mbgh8ozwd ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/lmupqelnvqbmhn2545mt6h8v5509mbgh8ozwd ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/lmupqelnvqbmhn2545mt6h8v5509mbgh8ozwd/p8heh9h4mo4xw0aq/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

That's why cutting toxic people off isn't cold. It's actually just clarity. Years of your nervous system pretending to feel safe with people who didn't make you feel safe will add up over time. If you've ever felt like you were able to go through the motions and show up to be around these people but at the same time some part of you was numbing out... that's functional freeze. ​ It's not that your necessarily managing the stressful stuff, it's that part of you is shutting down in order to deal. And once your body starts shutting down, it becomes more habit than choice... and if you've been doing it since you were a child you may not even realize it. It feels like: When someone crosses a line, you don’t react. You go flat. You leave the interaction… and suddenly you’re exhausted. Brain fog. Heavy limbs. Maybe even shame. You don’t scream. You don’t storm out. You don’t even cry. You explain. You stay logical. You regulate the room. On the outside you seem grounded but in reality, you're nervous system is activated & stressed. Functional freeze lets you endure what would overwhelm you— because your nervous system learned to shut down those feelings in order to survive. That's why having to go no contact or low contact isn't cold. But being disrespected and expected to tolerate it for years is. Your body may seem like it's "ok" with managing the people in your life who are unhealthy but in reality, it's a high cost to pay & it adds up over time. And one of the highest costs? You slowly lose your sense of hope and joy… because you’ve gone so numb, you can’t fully feel life anymore. But what would change for you if you could move out of functional freeze & stopped shutting down? You would start to feel energized again, it would feel like good things were happening again, you would be able to set those boundaries easier & you wouldn't be just tolerating life anymore. And this is the part no one talks about. When you’re not using all your energy to manage unhealthy dynamics… you have space for better relationships, clarityband the version of you that isn’t surviving — you're actually living. If you’re tired of functioning while quietly shutting down, and you’re ready to feel fully alive again… ​Schedule a session. ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u9w8x0qwhoh348e2ms2hdnl024zs7hwre6o/m2h7h5h3v526mmam/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== )​ Let’s work on your shutdown at the nervous system level, so boundaries feel stable & not scary. ​ -->SCHEDULE A SESSION TO WORK ON YOUR SHUTDOWN ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u9w8x0qwhoh348e2ms2hdnl024zs7hwre6o/m2h7h5h3v526mmam/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== ) SCHEDULE A SESSION TO WORK ON YOUR SHUTDOWN ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/schedule )xxx Aspen ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/r8u9w8x0qwhoh348e2ms2hdnl024zs7hwre6o ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/r8u9w8x0qwhoh348e2ms2hdnl024zs7hwre6o ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u9w8x0qwhoh348e2ms2hdnl024zs7hwre6o/e0hph7h76vm3q5u8/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

If we're honest, you probably avoided rocking the boat for most of your life because you knew this would happen. You knew that if you pushed back, spoke up or made the choice that you knew they wouldn't be happy about... You would be the one who was blamed. You probably thought like I did that if you said the right things or explained to them why their behavior was hurtful, that one day they would get it... you probably even saw glimpses of what looked like change, only to see that it didn't really ever last. It's the game of every toxic family... just enough attention or kindness to give you hope but no lasting. Those brief moments of feeling like something will change are meant to get you to fall back in line or simply forget how you've been treated so the cycle can start back up all over again. And it wreaks havoc on your emotions and your body. You never truly feel safe. So you never truly get to heal from the past. And the hard truth I learned is that the thing I was so afraid of, the childhood wound of being abandoned, was inevitable if I stayed in it whether they changed or not. If they didn't change I would be abandoning myself and if decided to step away I would feel like I had abandoned them... even though emotionally I was abandoned long ago. ​ If you're going through it's so important to be honest with yourself about the COST OF STAYING. You might feel like you can manage (and maybe you can) but there is still a cost to you and your body having to manage it. Ask yourself, "If things stay exactly as they are, how will I feel in 5 years?" And whether you know the answer or not to what your next step looks like, focus on building safety and confidence in the areas of your life that feel more manageable right now. This is what we do in sessions. We get clear on how your family dynamic is really impacting you, what the cost of it is & how it's got you stuck in feelings & patterns that are not helping you live a happy life and then we actually create a plan and steps to move forward. It's actual advice & steps. Not just talking in circles. -->I WANT TO WORK TOGETHER ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/d0uk2em9p2c0hovxo55imhz2e05x0ilhnp7vg/7qh7h8h9qqwpwraz/aHR0cHM6Ly9hcHAuYWN1aXR5c2NoZWR1bGluZy5jb20vY2F0YWxvZy5waHA_YWN0aW9uPWFkZENhcnQmY2xlYXI9MSZpZD03NDMzODkmb3duZXI9MTQ5NjAzMDc= ) I WANT TO WORK TOGETHER ( https://app.acuityscheduling.com/catalog.php?owner=14960307&action=addCart&clear=1&id=743389 )And if you're ready to work together but have questions, just hit reply & I will always be happy to answer them! You are not in this alone friend. xxx Aspen ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/d0uk2em9p2c0hovxo55imhz2e05x0ilhnp7vg ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/d0uk2em9p2c0hovxo55imhz2e05x0ilhnp7vg ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/d0uk2em9p2c0hovxo55imhz2e05x0ilhnp7vg/owhkhqhwppglgqsv/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

---------------------------- It's National Heart Month ♥️ ---------------------------- And I've partnered with Function Health to Giveaway a FREE Membership & Heart CT Scan on Instagram! ​ Everything starts with the heart—so why wouldn’t we check it properly? Reel was just posted and is Live on my IG page, click the link below or look for this Giveaway Reel above! The Giveaway is LIVE and all you have to do is hop on over to the post on IG & follow the rules to be entered! -->ENTER THE GIVEAWAY ON INSTAGRAM! ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/e5ul8p7x58f7hl6d6vri8h8oqe8g2ulh24wng/8ghqhohozw795nak/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuaW5zdGFncmFtLmNvbS9yZWVsL0RVNkY4Q3BFZjRVLz9pZ3NoPU16UmxPREJpTldGbFpBJTNEJTNEJnV0bV9zb3VyY2U9aWdfd2ViX2NvcHlfbGluaw== ) ENTER THE GIVEAWAY ON INSTAGRAM! ( https://www.instagram.com/reel/DU6F8CpEf4U/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== )​ PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/e5ul8p7x58f7hl6d6vri8h8oqe8g2ulh24wng ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/e5ul8p7x58f7hl6d6vri8h8oqe8g2ulh24wng )​ ​ ( https://7e47d28f.click.kit-mail3.com/e5ul8p7x58f7hl6d6vri8h8oqe8g2ulh24wng/l2hehmhleqdrkmf6/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

There's this thing that happens in your nervous system when you go No Contact.... and it's the Guilt Shutdown. The constant questioning of if you made the right decision, if you're being mean, if you're a bad person. This inner voice that speaks up any time you feel like you want to pick yourself and talks you out of it, even when you know in your head that it's "ok" to do things that are good for yourself. You might not have a problem in other areas of your life but when it comes to family, all bets are off. That voice and the feelings that go along with it can be so overpowering that it shuts you down and stops you from doing what you need to do for you. This is because guilt is conditioning. When you're raised with parents who guilted and shamed as part of their parenting, you learn that you should feel guilty for doing things they wouldn't approve of. These feelings get plugged into your nervous system and become a "brake" in your nervous system that goes off every time you start to do something they wouldn't approve of. The way it shows up is that the guilt gets triggered as a way to stop you from doing something by starting the cycle of feeling bad and questioning yourself so that you stop in your tracks. It's a management strategy for staying safe. So what you want to do instead is this: * Recognize it's an old pattern that is just barking at you out of fear and it doesn't mean it's true. * PAUSE... just pause and notice how guilt is showing up in your body & how it feels * Ask yourself how guilt has been used to manipulate or control you * Practice choosing what is right for you and being able to sit with the discomfort you feel The truth is, the more you can sit with the discomfort, the more the volume on the guilt goes down. It's a practice of learning that you are safe making other people unhappy or disappointing them. One of my favorite quotes is "I would rather disappoint you than resent you." Being able to allow other people to have their feelings about your choices is a level of safety that will help you know in each moment what is right for you moving forward. It can take some unravelling of your family expectations and the fear that lives in your nervous system which is where we focus in sessions. If you're tired of the whiplash of being guilted over choosing yourself I can help you build safety and trust in yourself. Sessions are with me personally and based on what patterns you have & what your nervous system needs in order to feel safe. If you've got questions, you can always reply and I"m happy to answer any questions about working together! ​ -->Let's Work Together ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0uk2em9p2c0hovp8rvimhz2e93o2ulhnp7vg/wnh2hghqn8l8kmb7/aHR0cHM6Ly9hcHAuYWN1aXR5c2NoZWR1bGluZy5jb20vY2F0YWxvZy5waHA_YWN0aW9uPWFkZENhcnQmY2xlYXI9MSZpZD03NDMzODkmb3duZXI9MTQ5NjAzMDc= ) Let's Work Together ( https://app.acuityscheduling.com/catalog.php?owner=14960307&action=addCart&clear=1&id=743389 )xxx Aspen ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/d0uk2em9p2c0hovp8rvimhz2e93o2ulhnp7vg ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/d0uk2em9p2c0hovp8rvimhz2e93o2ulhnp7vg ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0uk2em9p2c0hovp8rvimhz2e93o2ulhnp7vg/reh8hohm4non34t2/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

OUT OF OFFICE MARCH 17th-26th (I haven't done Friday or weekend appts in over 2 years!) ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2zm6n5tkhkgmldxgf3hm9rnx/58hvh7hgqlm90xs6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== )​ -->Book Your Session ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2zm6n5tkhkgmldxgf3hm9rnx/58hvh7hgqlm90xs6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== ) Book Your Session ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/schedule ) ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2zm6n5tkhkgmldxgf3hm9rnx ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2zm6n5tkhkgmldxgf3hm9rnx ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2zm6n5tkhkgmldxgf3hm9rnx/25h2hoh36n2ogwa3/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

OUT OF OFFICE MARCH 17th-26th (I haven't done Friday or weekend appts in over 2 years!) ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/4zueqv9plqiehpvexvzfxh6mlz3oxc5hm0v9g/qvh8h7hdzoww5oil/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== )​ -->Book Your Session ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/4zueqv9plqiehpvexvzfxh6mlz3oxc5hm0v9g/qvh8h7hdzoww5oil/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== ) Book Your Session ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/schedule ) ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/4zueqv9plqiehpvexvzfxh6mlz3oxc5hm0v9g ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/4zueqv9plqiehpvexvzfxh6mlz3oxc5hm0v9g ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/4zueqv9plqiehpvexvzfxh6mlz3oxc5hm0v9g/9qhzhnhd0zwwmnt9/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

Some of you know my story because you've been around since I started this journey but for those of you who are new here, let' me take you back in time a bit. ​ I'm the oldest of 4 and the stereotypical oldest daughter. Forced to grow up as Type A, good student, overachieving & feeling responsible for keeping the peace in the family. I was also quick to speak up about what felt wrong. I learned really early on that if I was quiet, I would feel like I was losing part of myself. I couldn't just "take it" and no matter how much I knew going with the flow would be easier, if I something felt harmful to me or my siblings, I spoke up and I pushed back. ​ You already know that went over like a lead balloon growing up. So I was seen as the "hard one" and the "difficult one" .... and I believed I was "hard" for years... hard to love, hard to be around & hard to understand. It's why this work is so important to me & why I know how painful it is to walk through the process of unwinding your story, your feelings & all the survival mechanisms we build to survive what you didn't have choice in. I was over-functioning for years. My body constantly in a state of overwhelm, I felt like crap & I had so much high functioning anxiety trying to keep everyone from being mad at me while simultaneously trying to find ways to live my life the way I wanted. Well that didn't work. During this journey I've been full contact, low contact, no contact and then low contact again with my family but in the last couple years what needed to happen finally happened and I've been no contact with a majority of them since. I've had 90% of my family cut off from me because I drew a solid line in the sand about what I wouldn't tolerate ever again and where that would have crushed me in the past, it was liberating to be out from under it now. That's why this work is so important. Years of working on healing from family patterns, regulating my nervous system & having a voice on social made it safe enough to handle... even in the midst of outright threats. I do this work because it matters more than any other work I've done & even though family watches my every move on social and uses it to prove WHY I'm the problem, I will never stop being a voice for everyone who has gone through it. I hope this Monday sends you a blessing or at the very least some ease in your own journey. I know it isn't always easy. And if I can ever help in any way, know I'm here & would love to support you as someone who has been through it. ​Let's Meet in a Session ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/e5ul8p7x58f7hl6ggq3s8h8o0q08dclh24wng/9qhzhnhd0znddvt9/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== )​ xxx Aspen ​ ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/e5ul8p7x58f7hl6ggq3s8h8o0q08dclh24wng ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/e5ul8p7x58f7hl6ggq3s8h8o0q08dclh24wng ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/e5ul8p7x58f7hl6ggq3s8h8o0q08dclh24wng/3ohphkh304v33eur/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

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---------------------------- It's National Heart Month ♥️ ---------------------------- And I've partnered with Function Health to Giveaway a FREE Membership & Heart CT Scan on Instagram! ​ Everything starts with the heart—so why wouldn’t we check it properly? Reel was just posted and is Live on my IG page, click the link below or look for this Giveaway Reel above! The Giveaway is LIVE and all you have to do is hop on over to the post on IG & follow the rules to be entered! -->ENTER THE GIVEAWAY ON INSTAGRAM! ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/zluozg5erzfnhknn9kpaphwgg8g00b6hx8r02/8ghqhohoz5mwqkhk/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuaW5zdGFncmFtLmNvbS9hdWd1c3Rrbm94Y29hY2hpbmcv ) ENTER THE GIVEAWAY ON INSTAGRAM! ( https://www.instagram.com/augustknoxcoaching/ )​ PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/zluozg5erzfnhknn9kpaphwgg8g00b6hx8r02 ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/zluozg5erzfnhknn9kpaphwgg8g00b6hx8r02 )​ ​ ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/zluozg5erzfnhknn9kpaphwgg8g00b6hx8r02/vqh3hrholkzmemug/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

************************************ Living stressed out is not normal... ************************************ Spinning on the same stories. Not normal. Feeling anxious every time you have to deal with certain people or speak up for yourself. Not normal. Having to think about everything you say before you say it & then worrying someone is mad after.... you guessed it. Not normal. ---------------------------------- Your body is meant to be at peace. ---------------------------------- It's not meant to constantly be scanning the room while your mind is overthinking and trying to manage every little interaction so you don't get in trouble, don't upset someone or don't make a mistake. This is a body stuck in survival. ​ And if this is how you grew up, you probably don't know what it could feel like to wake up without the worry of keeping everyone else happy or going about your day just the way you want to because it feels good to you. When you're mind is so used to scanning for danger and your body is living on high alert it's hard to feel happy or at ease in your life. You really just don't feel safe enough to BE. This is how we do it in sessions... we look at how your experiences created patterns around how you survive, how you feel about yourself, what you believe to be true and how those are impacting you in your day to day life. We also look at how your body is stuck in survival & help the body work through those experiences so it can finally relax and feel safe again. It's the same work I've done to heal my own trauma & it works because it helps you with the emotions but also the physical stress you hold. If you've got questions, shoot me an email or if you want to start or get back to working together, you can click the blue button below to go to the scheduling page. Looking forward to seeing you on Zoom! ​ -->Session Info & Booking a Session ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/qdugl82rqli7h4znk0vilh8ddxdkkc4h4vz6o/48hvhehmvq79wwsx/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== ) Session Info & Booking a Session ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/schedule )xxx Aspen P.S. If you aren't quite ready to work together face to face (I get that can be stressful at first!) then check out the Childhood Trauma Journal ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/qdugl82rqli7h4znk0vilh8ddxdkkc4h4vz6o/wnh2hghqnvl4mnf7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zYWxlcy1wYWdl )for prompts & guidance on how the body holds trauma, questions to help you uncover how it's playing out for you & how to identify which of the 4 Childhood Wounds you have! ​ ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/qdugl82rqli7h4znk0vilh8ddxdkkc4h4vz6o/reh8hohm4vo7kdb2/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuaW5zdGFncmFtLmNvbS9hdWd1c3Rrbm94Y29hY2hpbmcv ) PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/qdugl82rqli7h4znk0vilh8ddxdkkc4h4vz6o ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/qdugl82rqli7h4znk0vilh8ddxdkkc4h4vz6o )​ ​ ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/qdugl82rqli7h4znk0vilh8ddxdkkc4h4vz6o/08hwh9h2vwpxnrbl/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

You Can Explain your Trauma Perfectly… And Still Overreact You can sound like you've got it all figured out... your patterns, why you do what you do, what you should be doing & you probably already have your parent's crap figured out too. ​ But you still feel 14 the second they walk in the room. You notice that without anything even happening, your body freezes, you shut down, you feel defensive or you revert to the way you used to feel growing up. It's not because the work you've done isn't working. It's because your body is going right back into protective mode without you telling it to. ​ ​ If you're like me, you spent a lot of time living in your head & trying to make sense of WHY things were happening & figuring out how to be ok with them. ​ Super common thing for trauma survivors to do. It's just naturally safer to not feel things and just think your way through them. So by the time you get through therapy or coaching you've mastered the entire WHY of your story but can still feel like crap & know something is off. That's because you may not have fully felt everything in your body. Your body has been left on read. So the moment you get around family, your body is responding to what hasn't been processed and healed. It's why you revert. I lived it for years. I would feel good about the progress I was making and then as soon as I got around family... immediate freeze. Like a brain fog that just shut me down & made me feel depressed and unable to be myself. -->I'm Tired of this Pattern ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/xmuldp6m4df6hpoed7xf5h2ddrdlltnhvkgx8/6qheh8hlzkqm80ho/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== ) I'm Tired of this Pattern ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/schedule )​ You don’t need more “why.” You need your body to feel safe in real time & have the ability to be ok navigating family moments. Because healing isn’t about cutting your parents off emotionally. It’s about not losing yourself when you’re in the room. If this is you — the hyper-aware, overthinking, emotionally intelligent woman who still feels 14 around her family — There is nothing wrong with you. Your body just needs a new experience of safety. ​ Imagine walking into a room with your family… and not disappearing. If that version of you feels impossible right now — that’s exactly why we work together. ​Let's Work Together ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/xmuldp6m4df6hpoed7xf5h2ddrdlltnhvkgx8/6qheh8hlzkqm80ho/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== )​ xxx Aspen ​ ​ ​ ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/xmuldp6m4df6hpoed7xf5h2ddrdlltnhvkgx8 ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/xmuldp6m4df6hpoed7xf5h2ddrdlltnhvkgx8 ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/xmuldp6m4df6hpoed7xf5h2ddrdlltnhvkgx8/kkhmh6hnrd7k0zbl/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

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​ ​ You already know you have things you want to heal from but figuring out where to start is usually what makes it so hard to get started or feel like you've made progress. If you're like me you've probably been stuck in the cycle a hundred times trying literally everything you can but still feeling like you're stuck and just can't figure out why. ​ This is the reason... 🔹 When you heal from childhood trauma you have to heal 3 different areas: * The Emotional Pain: this how you felt then, the patterns it created in how you survive & live your life, what got repressed or shut down & the emotional triggers that are still playing out today. * Your Body's Response: this is how your nervous system responded during the trauma, how it has protected you since, your own patterns of survival mode & why your body feels unsafe to this day * Who You Want to Become: this area is the most overlooked in healing because while yeah, focusing on healing is crucial, if you don't know who you want to be, you are still going to be left with this sense of confusion which can make you feel like you are still healing and not recognize you are GROWING... and that can feel hard too. ​ And this is where a lot of people get stuck. Because once you start looking at the emotional pain, the body’s response, and who you’re becoming — you begin to notice the specific wounds that shaped all three. Most childhood trauma shows up through four core wounds, and each one touches your emotions, your nervous system, and your sense of self. Abandonment​ You learned closeness could disappear without warning. So emotionally you panic, physically you tense, and future-you hesitates to relax into connection. Neglect​ Your feelings didn’t have space back then. So you learned not to need much, your body stays braced, and you grew into someone who handles everything alone. Betrayal​ Trust wasn’t safe. Your emotions stay guarded, your body stays alert, and you second-guess your instincts as you try to move forward. Guilt​ You were taught your needs caused problems. So emotionally you shrink, physically you hold tension, and becoming yourself feels selfish instead of natural. When you don’t know which wound you’re healing — it’s easy to feel like you’re doing the work but not moving forward. That confusion isn’t because you’re failing. It’s because healing without a clear map can make growth feel invisible. ​ ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/0vu98w5kz8h9h9vkkwphlhv88r855snhxqrl5/wnh2hghqmd3432s7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9pbm5lcmNoaWxk )​ This is where support can really change things. If you feel ready to go deeper — to work with the emotional pain, your nervous system, and the version of you that’s emerging — the Inner Child Healing Sessions ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/0vu98w5kz8h9h9vkkwphlhv88r855snhxqrl5/wnh2hghqmd3432s7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9pbm5lcmNoaWxk )give you a clear, steady path. We will work together 1:1 in private sessions to unpack things together with real tools for healing & what to do to move forward. And if that feels like too much right now, that’s okay too. The Childhood Trauma Journal ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/0vu98w5kz8h9h9vkkwphlhv88r855snhxqrl5/reh8hohmkpe7ega2/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zYWxlcy1wYWdl ) is a softer place to start. It helps you understand which wound you’re carrying and how it’s been shaping your body and your choices — think of it as insights you can use to unpack things further. There’s no “right” way to heal. Just the next step that feels safe for you but if you have questions, please ask! ​ xxx Aspen P.S. you don't ever have to know where to start in a session... I know healing can be overwhelming & sometimes all you need to do is just show up. I can support you in figuring out the rest. ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/0vu98w5kz8h9h9vkkwphlhv88r855snhxqrl5 ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/0vu98w5kz8h9h9vkkwphlhv88r855snhxqrl5 ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/0vu98w5kz8h9h9vkkwphlhv88r855snhxqrl5/08hwh9h2n4kxklcl/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

Emotional healing and somatic healing are not the same thing. And if you don’t know the difference, it can feel like doing all the "work" but still being STUCK. It will keep you stuck in a constant state of analysis on "why" you are feeling the way you feel, overthinking your experiences & constantly digging into your patterns... But still feeling like crap. ​ You can hold trauma emotionally and physically but they don't always heal with the same tools. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Emotional healing sounds like this: * Understanding why it hurt * Naming the pattern * Talking about what happened * Feeling grief, anger, or sadness This matters. A lot. It gives language to what you lived through. But emotional insight alone doesn’t always tell your body that it’s safe now. Somatic healing shows up like this: ----------------------------------- * Your shoulders drop without trying * Your chest doesn’t tighten during conflict * You stop bracing for the other shoe to drop * Rest doesn’t feel dangerous * Your reactions soften before your thoughts do This is your nervous system learning something new, not your mind figuring something out. A quick way to tell the difference: If you understand your trauma but your body still reacts like it’s happening— that’s a cue your nervous system needs the attention. That’s a body that learned survival before language. And this is where inner child work becomes powerful—not as visualization or “positive thinking,” but as repatterning safety at the level where the trauma actually landed. Your inner child isn’t asking you to relive the past. They’re asking for: * Regulation instead of explanation * Safety instead of self-control * Permission to grow instead of endlessly “fixing” That’s exactly why I created the Inner Child Healing Package. ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2z2822ukhkggqg99c3hm9rnx/n2hohvhv2zl8p5u6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9pbm5lcmNoaWxk )​ It’s designed to: * Help you recognize when something is emotional vs somatic * Gently unwind survival responses without forcing you to change in ways you're not ready for * Build a felt sense of safety while you grow into who you genuinely are Healing isn’t just about resolving pain. It’s about having the capacity to become yourself without your body pulling you back into the past. If you’ve been doing the work but still feel like something isn’t landing— this might be the missing layer. You can explore the Inner Child Healing Package here ↓ ​CHECK IT OUT ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2z2822ukhkggqg99c3hm9rnx/n2hohvhv2zl8p5u6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9pbm5lcmNoaWxk )​ xxx Aspen P.S. If you're not ready to work in person you can always check out the Childhood Trauma Journal + Workbook ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2z2822ukhkggqg99c3hm9rnx/48hvhehmw475enax/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zYWxlcy1wYWdl ) which has prompts, guides & tools to dive into your patterns and how the body is holding them! ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2z2822ukhkggqg99c3hm9rnx ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2z2822ukhkggqg99c3hm9rnx ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/8kupnqwe3nboh2z2822ukhkggqg99c3hm9rnx/wnh2hghqmel5pob7/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

​ ​ You already know you have things you want to heal from but figuring out where to start is usually what makes it so hard to get started or feel like you've made progress. If you're like me you've probably been stuck in the cycle a hundred times trying literally everything you can but still feeling like you're stuck and just can't figure out why. ​ This is the reason... 🔹 When you heal from childhood trauma you have to heal 3 different areas: * The Emotional Pain: this how you felt then, the patterns it created in how you survive & live your life, what got repressed or shut down & the emotional triggers that are still playing out today. * Your Body's Response: this is how your nervous system responded during the trauma, how it has protected you since, your own patterns of survival mode & why your body feels unsafe to this day * Who You Want to Become: this area is the most overlooked in healing because while yeah, focusing on healing is crucial, if you don't know who you want to be, you are still going to be left with this sense of confusion which can make you feel like you are still healing and not recognize you are GROWING... and that can feel hard too. ​ And this is where a lot of people get stuck. Because once you start looking at the emotional pain, the body’s response, and who you’re becoming — you begin to notice the specific wounds that shaped all three. Most childhood trauma shows up through four core wounds, and each one touches your emotions, your nervous system, and your sense of self. Abandonment​ You learned closeness could disappear without warning. So emotionally you panic, physically you tense, and future-you hesitates to relax into connection. Neglect​ Your feelings didn’t have space back then. So you learned not to need much, your body stays braced, and you grew into someone who handles everything alone. Betrayal​ Trust wasn’t safe. Your emotions stay guarded, your body stays alert, and you second-guess your instincts as you try to move forward. Guilt​ You were taught your needs caused problems. So emotionally you shrink, physically you hold tension, and becoming yourself feels selfish instead of natural. When you don’t know which wound you’re healing — it’s easy to feel like you’re doing the work but not moving forward. That confusion isn’t because you’re failing. It’s because healing without a clear map can make growth feel invisible. ​ ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/92uxvzln3vanh60k59ks9hzdd4d33swh93560/9qhzhnhd4moml6t9/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9pbm5lcmNoaWxk )​ This is where support can really change things. If you feel ready to go deeper — to work with the emotional pain, your nervous system, and the version of you that’s emerging — the Inner Child Healing Sessions ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/92uxvzln3vanh60k59ks9hzdd4d33swh93560/9qhzhnhd4moml6t9/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9pbm5lcmNoaWxk )give you a clear, steady path. We will work together 1:1 in private sessions to unpack things together with real tools for healing & what to do to move forward. And if that feels like too much right now, that’s okay too. The Childhood Trauma Journal ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/92uxvzln3vanh60k59ks9hzdd4d33swh93560/3ohphkh3xlelnrsr/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zYWxlcy1wYWdl ) is a softer place to start. It helps you understand which wound you’re carrying and how it’s been shaping your body and your choices — think of it as insights you can use to unpack things further. There’s no “right” way to heal. Just the next step that feels safe for you but if you have questions, please ask! ​ xxx Aspen P.S. you don't ever have to know where to start in a session... I know healing can be overwhelming & sometimes all you need to do is just show up. I can support you in figuring out the rest. ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/92uxvzln3vanh60k59ks9hzdd4d33swh93560 ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/92uxvzln3vanh60k59ks9hzdd4d33swh93560 ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/92uxvzln3vanh60k59ks9hzdd4d33swh93560/n2hohvhv2pzpk5b6/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

I get it. Because even when you know you want to heal, you can still be hyper aware of the fact that only a certain degree of healing can happen "under the radar" before you actively trigger your toxic family. Have you felt that yet? That feeling that you are only "allowed" to go so far. **They called it “attitude.” ---------------------------- Your body called it survival.** In toxic families, words get used to erase your reality & downplay your pain. Attitude.​ ​Disrespectful.​ ​Too much. But what they called attitude was never a personality issue. It was your nervous system responding to a wound it didn’t have language for yet. ​ 🧸 Some bodies learned to react loudly because silence meant abandonment. If you didn’t speak up, you disappeared. 🧠 Some learned to go quiet because needs were met with neglect. Why reach when no one comes? 👁️ Some learned to push back because trust was repeatedly betrayed. Promises were broken. Boundaries weren’t real. 🛑 And some learned to carry blame so others didn’t have to—because guilt was the price of belonging. Those patterns weren’t choices. They were 4 of the biggest Childhood Wounds. ​ But here’s where scapegoats get trapped. When your survival responses are constantly misnamed, you start to mistrust yourself. You override your instincts. You feel reactive… then ashamed for reacting. You apologize before you even know why. Not because you’re difficult. But because your body learned safety through abandonment, neglect, betrayal, or guilt—and never got the chance to update the story. That’s why healing can feel confusing. You may know the family was toxic. But your body still responds like you’re on trial. This is exactly what the Childhood Trauma Journal ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uzv7483vc8h6deq89hzhweg7o66bnho7k3m/3ohphkh3xmqz7lir/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zYWxlcy1wYWdl ) helps untangle. It gently guides you to identify: • Which of the four wounds shaped your nervous system first • How that wound trained your body to brace, fawn, freeze, or fight • Why that pattern still shows up in relationships, boundaries, and self-trust • And what your body has been trying to protect you from all along If you’ve ever been labeled “too much,” “difficult,” or “the problem,” the Childhood Trauma Journal ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uzv7483vc8h6deq89hzhweg7o66bnho7k3m/3ohphkh3xmqz7lir/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zYWxlcy1wYWdl )can help you identify whether abandonment, neglect, betrayal, or guilt shaped your survival response—so healing feels clarifying instead of overwhelming. You can explore the journal here when you’re ready: GET YOUR JOURNAL ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uzv7483vc8h6deq89hzhweg7o66bnho7k3m/3ohphkh3xmqz7lir/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zYWxlcy1wYWdl )​ ​ ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uzv7483vc8h6deq89hzhweg7o66bnho7k3m/3ohphkh3xmqz7lir/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zYWxlcy1wYWdl )​ xxx Aspen ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/75uzv7483vc8h6deq89hzhweg7o66bnho7k3m ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/75uzv7483vc8h6deq89hzhweg7o66bnho7k3m ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uzv7483vc8h6deq89hzhweg7o66bnho7k3m/n2hohvhv2qnr39c6/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

​ ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/68uozen83zf8h5xmqz0aohpedgnkkh9h7reop/6qheh8hlx04vp5bo/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== )​ -->Book Your Session ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/68uozen83zf8h5xmqz0aohpedgnkkh9h7reop/6qheh8hlx04vp5bo/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zY2hlZHVsZQ== ) Book Your Session ( https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/schedule ) ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/68uozen83zf8h5xmqz0aohpedgnkkh9h7reop ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/68uozen83zf8h5xmqz0aohpedgnkkh9h7reop ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/68uozen83zf8h5xmqz0aohpedgnkkh9h7reop/58hvh7hg3lwp5os6/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

Most people think healing is about finding yourself. For the scapegoat, it’s not. Healing means losing the role that kept you surviving. Because if you were the scapegoat, your identity wasn’t built around who you were — it was built around how much pain you could hold for your family. Tension. Moods. Blame. Discomfort. You learned to hold it all so connection didn’t break. That was your role. So when you stop doing that — when you heal — things feel unstable. Not because you’re wrong… but because the family lost the person who kept it regulated. That’s when your nervous system asks: “If I’m not the fixer… the strong one… the one who holds it together — who am I?” This is where your identity begins to break. And that moment? That confusion? That’s where most people stop. Not because they want to go back — but because not knowing who you are yet feels scarier than surviving as who you were. Here’s the truth no one told you: That disorientation isn’t failure. It’s the doorway to your real identity. But you don’t walk through it with insight alone. These patterns live in the body — not the mind. That’s why working with me isn’t about fixing you or pushing change. It’s about helping your nervous system feel safe enough to stop defaulting to the old rules. In our work together: * You stop bracing every time you choose yourself * Decisions get quieter and clearer * Guilt loosens its grip * Your inner child learns they don’t have to earn belonging * Identity stops feeling confusing and starts feeling familiar This is how you move from surviving your role to actually living as yourself. If you’re done circling this alone and want real support through the identity shift, book a 1:1 session. ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/qdugl82rqli7h4emk07alh82pvrkki4h4vz6o/3ohphkh3xzk8qlcr/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9pbm5lcmNoaWxk )​ You didn’t lose yourself. You outgrew what kept you alive. — Aspen P.S. If healing feels destabilizing right now, that’s not a red flag — it’s what happens when you stop absorbing tension and start becoming a person. ​ ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/qdugl82rqli7h4emk07alh82pvrkki4h4vz6o/n2hohvhv2rl4n9f6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zYWxlcy1wYWdl )​ ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/qdugl82rqli7h4emk07alh82pvrkki4h4vz6o ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/qdugl82rqli7h4emk07alh82pvrkki4h4vz6o ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/qdugl82rqli7h4emk07alh82pvrkki4h4vz6o/48hvhehmwg7304hx/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

Why healing as the scapegoat causes so much conflict — and why it messes with your identity ----------------------------------------------------------------- If you were the scapegoat, healing almost always creates conflict in your family. Not because you’re doing it wrong — but because of what changes when you stop playing your role... and people get pissed. Here’s what’s actually happening: * You stop absorbing everyone else’s emotions.​ When you’re no longer the emotional shock absorber, the system feels unstable — and they blame you for it. * Your calm feels threatening.​ A regulated nervous system disrupts a family that relied on your reactivity to avoid their own stuff. * You stop being predictable.​ You don’t explain. You don’t fix. You don’t take the blame. And unpredictability feels unsafe to people who benefited from your compliance. * Your boundaries expose invisible rules.​ “Don’t upset anyone.” “Don’t need too much.” “Don’t talk about that.” Healing means you stop obeying rules no one was supposed to name (& yeah that's scary at first!) And here’s the part no one prepares you for: When those survival roles fall away, you can feel like you don’t know who you are anymore. Because your identity wasn’t built around what you liked or wanted — it was built around staying safe. Letting go of that isn’t freeing at first. It’s disorienting. It can feel like grief. That doesn’t mean you’re lost. It means you’re meeting yourself without armor for the first time. If this is where you are right now ---------------------------------- This is exactly the stage where working 1:1 matters. In our work together, we don’t force an identity or “reinvent” you.​ We work with your nervous system so your sense of self comes back online naturally. Here’s what changes: * You stop bracing every time you choose yourself * Decisions feel quieter and clearer * You feel your preferences without guilt * Your inner child learns they don’t have to earn belonging anymore If healing has cracked things open — but you feel like you're doing something wrong, stuck, or unsure who you are without the old roles — this is the work we do. 👉 Book a 1:1 session here ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/68uozen83zf8h5xe45ruohpedgnkkh9h7reop/p8heh9h4r4nwpgfq/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS8= )​ This is how you stop surviving your family system and start living as yourself. — Aspen ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/68uozen83zf8h5xe45ruohpedgnkkh9h7reop ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/68uozen83zf8h5xe45ruohpedgnkkh9h7reop ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/68uozen83zf8h5xe45ruohpedgnkkh9h7reop/x0hph6heke5v43i5/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

If you were the scapegoat in your family, healing usually doesn’t feel great at first. It feels uncomfortable. Awkward. Sometimes even… wrong. Not because you don’t want to heal — but because choosing yourself used to come with consequences. Here are three ways this is especially true for scapegoats: 1. Your needs were treated like the problem​ You weren’t just unseen — you were often blamed for tension or conflict. So now, even small acts of self-care can trigger guilt or the urge to explain yourself. 2. You learned safety through self-editing​ Being reasonable, agreeable, or “the one who doesn’t make things worse” kept you safe. As an adult, this shows up as overthinking, minimizing what you want, or waiting for permission to change. 3. Peace depended on you staying small​ Harmony came from you holding everything together. So prioritizing yourself now can feel risky — even when nothing bad is actually happening. This is why healing for scapegoats isn’t about trying harder or thinking differently. Your body learned these patterns early — and it’s been protecting you ever since. Two gentle ways to work with this today --------------------------------------- 1. Notice where you override yourself​ Pay attention to one moment today where you say yes, push through, or stay quiet — and feel tension afterward. Don’t fix it. Just name it: This is the old pattern. That awareness alone starts to loosen its grip. 2. Make one small choice without explaining it​ Take a break. Respond later. Do something because it supports you, not because it’s productive or keeps the peace. Nothing dramatic. Just enough to show your nervous system that choosing yourself doesn’t automatically lead to fallout. If you want help spotting these patterns and understanding how they show up in your thoughts and behaviors, the Childhood Trauma Journal ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u9w8x0qwhoh3kdemof2hdovqm66h7hwre6o/9qhzhnhd4pkg20u9/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9vZmZlcnMvYWQ2Mk5pOWMvY2hlY2tvdXQ= ) is a simple place to start. It helps you name what’s happening — without pushing you to confront anything before you’re ready. And if you’re ready to go deeper, the Inner Child Package ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u9w8x0qwhoh3kdemof2hdovqm66h7hwre6o/3ohphkh3x76qdmsr/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9pbm5lcmNoaWxk ) walks you through where these patterns began and how to slowly rebuild trust with yourself at the root. → Explore the Inner Child Package here:​ ​https://www.augustknoxcoaching.com/innerchild ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u9w8x0qwhoh3kdemof2hdovqm66h7hwre6o/3ohphkh3x76qdmsr/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9pbm5lcmNoaWxk )​ I've been here. I know how hard this work can be & you don't have to figure it out alone. — Aspen 👉 P.S. Many scapegoats don’t struggle with choosing themselves because they lack confidence — they struggle because their body learned that peace only came after self-erasure. ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u9w8x0qwhoh3kdemof2hdovqm66h7hwre6o ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u9w8x0qwhoh3kdemof2hdovqm66h7hwre6o ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u9w8x0qwhoh3kdemof2hdovqm66h7hwre6o/n2hohvhv23wno0s6/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )

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It was completely out of the blue. I was in Boston at a retreat that was focused on planning your goals for the upcoming year (super mundane kinda thing) and I got a text from my parents that asked if I had been "drinking the cool-aid" because the person running the retreat was a life coach and personal growth was not something that my family was ever ok with. They were the "pray harder" type but don't rock the boat with change, type. I remember being stunned and my entire body instantly felt hot & anxious all at once. That old familiar feeling of "f*ck am I in trouble???" landed so hard. ​ Because the invisible rule of being the scapegoat is "You exist as long you play the role we've assigned you." My role at the time was to be a "perfect." I followed all the rules & never had any needs of my own. I was expected to be capable of everything, fill in the gaps for those who weren't capable & not ask for help. My body lived in survival mode & I was drowning. That moment shattered everything for me. I had tried so hard for so many years and anytime I chose myself or something that was out of the family norm, there was a huge consequence. ​ I realized healing wasn’t the threat. The threat was me changing so they no longer had access to me. I wish I could say I had the groundbreaking moment of clarity & everything changed but that's not real, at least not for me. I was hurt & I was angry....so I decided to that night to at least believe something could be different in my life, even if I had no clue how to make it happen. That same night I was introduced to the very first modality I ever used when I started working with others. I didn't know at the time I would be doing this work professionally but 14 years later I'm glad I got that text and was hurt enough to get curious about what would help me feel confident enough to make a change. ​ I learned that to heal, I had to look at how being the Scapegoat taught me: * Safety = Self-Abandonment * Connection = Carrying Discomfort Alone * Love = Pain * Peace = Imminent Loss ​ The scapegoat is assigned responsibility without authority, blame without context, and belonging without safety. You can chose something different & choice doesn’t start with confrontation—it starts when your body feels safe enough to imagine another option. You don't have to live this way... or feel bad about making decisions that are right for you. And if this is your first step into looking at these things, I know it can be hard & triggering... my advice is to just get CURIOUS. The nervous system heals when we can become curious because it feels like threatening to the survival patterns we've held onto for so long. It allows for the possibility of something new to happen.... that's all healing is. A new experience creates a new habit, which turns into a new way of thinking and that becomes a new way of living. ​ If curiosity feels like all you have access to right now, here are two ways to support that—without pushing or forcing anything..... #1 you can grab the "10 Toxic Family Rules (and how to break them)" Guide ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/e5ul8p7x58f7hlmme9za8h8m3q022ilh24wng/9qhzhnhd4lr0wda9/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9wbC8yMTQ4NzMxMTEw ) for free #2 the Inner Child Trauma Journal & Workbook ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/e5ul8p7x58f7hlmme9za8h8m3q022ilh24wng/n2hohvhv2k0mqru6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXVndXN0a25veGNvYWNoaW5nLmNvbS9zYWxlcy1wYWdl ) if you want questions, prompts & a guide for how to start (these are all questions I use in session and personally and it's only $33) xxx Aspen P.S. If you’re a scapegoat, your body learned to scan for danger—not rest. You don’t have to override that. Just get curious about it. When your body tenses, instead of pushing through, try asking: What is this protecting me from?​ That question alone starts to soften the pattern. ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://7e47d28f.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/e5ul8p7x58f7hlmme9za8h8m3q022ilh24wng ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/e5ul8p7x58f7hlmme9za8h8m3q022ilh24wng ) | PO Box 611414, Rosemary Beach, FL 32461 ( https://7e47d28f.click.convertkit-mail2.com/e5ul8p7x58f7hlmme9za8h8m3q022ilh24wng/48hvhehmwn8vlkux/aHR0cHM6Ly9idWlsdHdpdGgua2l0LmNvbT91dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249cG93ZXJlZGJ5JnV0bV9jb250ZW50PWVtYWlsJnV0bV9tZWRpdW09cmVmZXJyYWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1keW5hbWlj )