Explore all emails from Chris Williamson

*************** 3 MINUTE MONDAY *************** Hi friend, I fly to Australia for tour next week!! Plus James Smith is supporting me. Perth & Brisbane are fully sold out - tickets still available for Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide, Christchurch, Auckland & Bali. Come see me live. ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/n4u3oz55zgcvhxm4dnmiqc6wxwzd0blh5ook/58hvh7hgqxgemga6/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaHJpc3dpbGxpYW1zb24ubGl2ZQ== )​ Adversity is a terrible thing to waste. Almost all of the biggest periods of growth in your life have germinated from your lowest points. Once shock, grief and sadness subside, much more energetic emotions arise - pain, resentment, bitterness, anger and a chip on your shoulder. Change is hard, and deeply fundamental change requires an insane amount of activation energy, far more than is available by just *wanting it a lot*. This is why people change so much after losing a parent, enduring a betrayal, losing a job or going through a breakup. Not just because the past version of their world has been stripped away, but because they finally have enough fuel to get their new life off the launchpad. In the mid 90’s there was a single mother living in near-poverty in Edinburgh. When she left her first marriage, it wasn’t a quiet parting. She’s described the relationship as abusive. She fled Portugal with her baby daughter and a suitcase that contained the early chapters of a book she was working on. At one point her ex-husband hid the manuscript, trying to prevent her from leaving with it. She was clinically depressed and contemplating suicide. She couldn’t afford to heat her flat properly so she pushed a pram to cafés to write while her daughter slept. The manuscript was rejected by twelve publishers. That’s twelve people telling her, in different ways, that it wasn’t good enough. The rejection wasn’t abstract - it was survival-level. If the book failed, so did her last attempt at building a life. The humiliation of those refusals became momentum. J.K Rowling went on to sell 500+ million copies in the Harry Potter series globally and became richer than the Queen. But here’s the uncomfortable truth: not all adversity becomes growth. Some people are crushed by it. Adversity is fuel, not destiny. The difference is what you do with the surplus emotion. If that energy isn’t directed, it curdles into rumination. The same fuel that could power a transformation can just as easily power self-destruction. There’s also a time window because pain calcifies. The chip on your shoulder becomes your identity. The story of what happened becomes the story of who you are. Anger gets you moving but it can’t steer - it’s rocket fuel, not guidance. Eventually the chip on your shoulder has to become purpose. TLDR: The worst thing that’s happened to you might be the only thing powerful enough to change you. Pain is temporary and fuel is rare. So if you’re going through a hard time, don’t waste it. “You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from.” — Cormac McCarthy ​ ------------- MODERN WISDOM ------------- I do a podcast where I pretend to have a British accent.​ This week’s upcoming episodes: Monday.Dr Kathryn Paige Harden - how genetic is evil? Is antisocial behaviour inherited or caused in childhood? Fascinating. Listen now on Spotify ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/n4u3oz55zgcvhxm4dnmiqc6wxwzd0blh5ook/9qhzhnhd0wd7p4t9/aHR0cHM6Ly9vcGVuLnNwb3RpZnkuY29tL3Nob3cvMFhyT3F2eGxxUUk2Ym1kWUh1SVZucj9zaT00M2YwMDI5YzA5ZGE0MzQ4 ) and Apple Podcasts ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/n4u3oz55zgcvhxm4dnmiqc6wxwzd0blh5ook/3ohphkh30m3w70br/aHR0cHM6Ly9wb2RjYXN0cy5hcHBsZS5jb20vZ2IvcG9kY2FzdC9tb2Rlcm4td2lzZG9tL2lkMTM0Nzk3MzU0OQ== ). Thursday.Cal Newport - how to reclaim your attention in an age of social media, screens & AI. And what are the big opportunities as everyone becomes more reliant on LLMs. Saturday.Dr Peter Salerno - a fascinating breakdown of narcissists, psychopaths, histrionic disorder and lots more by a therapist who works with victims and perpetrators. ​ ------------------- THINGS I'VE LEARNED ------------------- 1.​Some stats about dating. A survey of Gen Z found 67% would prioritise a good night of sleep over sex. One in eight 26-year-olds are a virgin. 24% had no sex in the past year — about double the rate in 2010. Among men from 18–24: Around 1 in 3 report no sexual activity in the past year. 26% of U.S. adults reported no sex in 2021. 37% of adults having weekly sex (down from 55% in 1990). 37% of Gen Z had no sex in the last month vs 19% of millennials. 48% of married couples had no sex in the past month. In 2004, 78% of millennials said their friends commonly have one night stands; just 23% of gen Z said the same 20 years later, in 2024. ​ 2.​There is a shortage of straight men in New York. Due to a shortage of male attendees, some dating events in NYC charged women $100 and men $0, yet attendance still ran 3:1. ​ 3.​Almost every successful person begins with two beliefs. “The future can be better than the present, and I have the power to make it so.” — David Brooks ​ --------- LIFE HACK --------- You need more fibre. I'm obsessed with this right now. Nearly 95% of Americans are deficient in fibre. Getting enough fibre helps improve nutrient absorption, energy stability, recovery and inflammation control. Fiber+ is a 3-in-1 fibre formula designed to activate gut health as the foundation for improved performance. The cinnamon flavour rules too. Get 35% off your first subscription from Momentous at https://livemomentous.com/modernwisdom ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/n4u3oz55zgcvhxm4dnmiqc6wxwzd0blh5ook/reh8hohm4dm80lc2/aHR0cHM6Ly9saXZlbW9tZW50b3VzLmNvbS9tb2Rlcm53aXNkb20= )​​ Big love,Chris x Try my productivity drink Neutonic ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/n4u3oz55zgcvhxm4dnmiqc6wxwzd0blh5ook/vqh3hrhol0o5pqfg/aHR0cHM6Ly9uZXV0b25pYy5jb20vbW9kZXJud2lzZG9t ).Share this article with your friends here ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/n4u3oz55zgcvhxm4dnmiqc6wxwzd0blh5ook/dpheh0hev6e3ezcm/aHR0cHM6Ly91bmlxdWUtdGhpbmtlci03MzE4LmNrLnBhZ2UvcHJvZmlsZQ== ). PSThank you for all the lovely birthday messages last week :) Unsubscribe ( https://28d3c607.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail4.com/n4u3oz55zgcvhxm4dnmiqc6wxwzd0blh5ook ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail4.com/n4u3oz55zgcvhxm4dnmiqc6wxwzd0blh5ook ) | 2 Osborne Road, Newcastle, NE22AA

*************** 3 MINUTE MONDAY *************** Hi friend, It's my birthday 🥳 If you'd like to get me a present, please press subscribe on YouTube ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/mvue7vnnv0b5hqvp960a5cr203dp2i3hkee7/3ohphkh3042oepbr/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vbW9kZXJud2lzZG9tcG9kY2FzdA== ). Or feel free to reply and tell me a story about something you've enjoyed from the show or my writing over the last year, those make me smile (: When faced with a challenge, your nature might be to worry and obsess and grip tightly. The classic Insecure Overachiever mindset. Because worrying is so common in every pursuit you attempt, your successes are seen as proof that worrying is a performance enhancer, and your failures are proof that you should have worried all along. Unfalsifiable negativity. “A walking anxiety disorder harnessed for productivity” as Andrew Wilkinson says. You build a link between worry and performance. A belief that your performance would have been markedly worse if you hadn’t worried so much, and that the worrying is precisely what motivated and enabled the outcomes you wanted. Even when you reach black belt status and have confidence in your capacities, there’s a lack of enthused energy. Perhaps the worry has left you but it’s not been replaced with excitable enthusiasm, just high expectation. I want to propose a radical new approach… assuming that things will go well. After a while, I don’t think that the fear is aiding your performance. You’re primarily running on habit and skill and experience. Maybe the fear was needed in the beginning to narrow your focus and create the obsession, but now you’ve reached escape velocity and are drifting in space. So why are you still holding the controls just as tightly as when you were on the launchpad instead of enjoying the view? Fuck me this will all be over soon. You do realise that right? This isn’t going to last forever. Your final sports match, the last trip to give a presentation, a concluding project at work. You can look back on a great run of miserable successes, or actually try to embrace some enjoyment. Perhaps to even prioritise it. Do not confuse relentless dour severity with seriousness and sophistication. It is not more noble to treat your pursuits so sternly that the only positive element is the end result and absolutely none of the experience. Things will go well. You will figure it out, just like you always have. So go seek some joy. ​ ------------- MODERN WISDOM ------------- I do a podcast where I pretend to have a British accent.​ This week’s upcoming episodes: Monday.Charlie Houpert - how do successful people learn to feel their feelings? Simple question, deep response. Absolute cinema. So so so good. Listen now on Spotify ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/mvue7vnnv0b5hqvp960a5cr203dp2i3hkee7/reh8hohm4w3269c2/aHR0cHM6Ly9vcGVuLnNwb3RpZnkuY29tL3Nob3cvMFhyT3F2eGxxUUk2Ym1kWUh1SVZucj9zaT00M2YwMDI5YzA5ZGE0MzQ4 ) and Apple Podcasts ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/mvue7vnnv0b5hqvp960a5cr203dp2i3hkee7/l2hehmhle6n0xvu6/aHR0cHM6Ly9wb2RjYXN0cy5hcHBsZS5jb20vZ2IvcG9kY2FzdC9tb2Rlcm4td2lzZG9tL2lkMTM0Nzk3MzU0OQ== ). Thursday.Dr Danielle Sulikowski - the ruthless strategies of female sexual competition. Spicy one here. Insanely interesting. Saturday.Scott Solomon - how will human biology adapt, survive and be destroyed when we live on Mars? Also amazing. Slamming 3 eps this week. ​ ------------------- THINGS I'VE LEARNED ------------------- 1.​London can’t build houses. In order to alleviate its acute housing affordability crisis, London has been set a target of building 88,000 new homes per year over the next decade. Last year construction started on just 5,891 - 94% below target, a 75% year-on-year decline, the steepest drop in the country, the lowest tally since records began almost 40 years ago and the lowest figure for any major city in the developed world this century. ​ 2.​I’d like to speak to a manager (19 times a day). In 2015, Reagan National Airport in DC received 8,760 noise complaints; 6,852 of those complaints (78%) came from a single household, meaning the people living there called to complain an average of 19 times a day. This seems to be common both across airports and across complaint systems in general: the majority of gripes usually comes from a few prolific gripers. Some of these systems are legally mandated to investigate every complaint, so this means a handful of psychotic people with telephones—or now, LLMs—can waste millions of dollars. I keep calling to complain about this, but nobody ever does anything about it.” — h/t Adam Mastroianni ​ 3.​Reverse role models are everywhere. “As we pass through life, sometimes God shows us dopplegangers, bright or dark mirrors of ourselves, glimpses of how we might turn out if we zig or zag on the path ahead. Some of these people are meant as shining inspirations, others as terrible warnings, but they're all our teachers.” — Scott Alexander ​ --------- LIFE HACK --------- I have a music playlist. It rules. ​https://chriswillx.com/bangers ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/mvue7vnnv0b5hqvp960a5cr203dp2i3hkee7/dpheh0hev8o4p7cm/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaHJpc3dpbGx4LmNvbS9iYW5nZXJz )​​ Big love,Chris x Try my productivity drink Neutonic ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/mvue7vnnv0b5hqvp960a5cr203dp2i3hkee7/7qh7h8h9qw6knocz/aHR0cHM6Ly9uZXV0b25pYy5jb20vbW9kZXJud2lzZG9t ).Share this article with your friends here ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/mvue7vnnv0b5hqvp960a5cr203dp2i3hkee7/p8heh9h4mg23qxhq/aHR0cHM6Ly91bmlxdWUtdGhpbmtlci03MzE4LmNrLnBhZ2UvcHJvZmlsZQ== ). PSI'm going on tour to Australia, New Zealand & Bali in March. Come see me. ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/mvue7vnnv0b5hqvp960a5cr203dp2i3hkee7/x0hph6heo9prqxi5/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaHJpc3dpbGxpYW1zb24ubGl2ZQ== )​ Unsubscribe ( https://28d3c607.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail4.com/mvue7vnnv0b5hqvp960a5cr203dp2i3hkee7 ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail4.com/mvue7vnnv0b5hqvp960a5cr203dp2i3hkee7 ) | 2 Osborne Road, Newcastle, NE22AA

*************** 3 MINUTE MONDAY *************** Hi friend, I'm going on tour to Australia, New Zealand & Bali in March. UK & Ireland in October. Come see me. ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/8kupqx00xmaoh2z9zrrinckggqg99c3h4qq7/9qhzhnhd03mxdnt9/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaHJpc3dpbGxpYW1zb24ubGl2ZQ== )​ The Curse of Psychological Strength. Everyone has a limit. An end to the amount of discomfort they can cope with. This is obvious physically - some people can lift more and run further than others. But how much emotional pain, upset or disappointment a person can endure is subtler and harder to detect. It’s not apparent in the size of someone’s arms but the capacity of their nervous system. It’s not a weight you can see on a squat rack, it’s their ability to carry a heavy emotional load. This psychological strength can be a good thing: You’re able to handle more than most, you don’t balk at pain and keep pushing through, regardless of how you feel. But too much strength can be a weakness. High performers are particularly vulnerable to this trap. Psychological strength is rewarded almost everywhere. In the gym it’s discipline, in business it’s grit, in public it’s composure. You become the person who can handle it, who doesn’t complain, who pushes through when others would quit. Your ability to ignore how you feel and keep moving forward earns admiration, builds your career and creates momentum. But what you are praised for in public, you often pay for in private. Relationships don’t reward endurance, they require attunement. If your default strategy in life is to absorb discomfort and override warning signs, you will do exactly that when someone repeatedly hurts you. You’ll rationalise it, reframe it, decide it’s your job to make it work. And the stronger you are, the longer you can stay. What looks like strength from the outside becomes self-abandonment on the inside. You’ve trained yourself to believe that struggle is noble and difficulty is meaningful, so when love feels destabilising it doesn’t register as a warning, it feels like a challenge. And challenges are your thing. But a relationship isn’t a marathon to be endured, it’s a place to feel safe. The qualities that make you formidable in the arena can quietly make you miserable in your own living room. Let’s say you’re dating and feel like a side-character in your own relationship. You put them 1st and they put you 6th. The rupture is regular and the repair is absent. Lower resilience, less stubborn people would have broken long ago and said “I’m out” - but not you, you’re the David Goggins of psychological suffering. Forget carrying the boats, you’ll carry the whole fleet. Forever. In these situations, you’re faced with a much tougher problem - not how much CAN you tolerate, but how much do you WANT to tolerate. Perhaps this is what you had to do as a child. If your needs weren’t noticed, your sadness was ignored and your feelings didn’t matter then you became accustomed to pushing through disconnection in order to make those relationships function. If Child You learns “I need to work hard to be loved” then Adult You believes “if I’m not loved, I just need to work harder”. You’ve achieved 10,000 hours of ignoring your own needs. You can’t tell people how you feel without first worrying about how it will make them feel. You unconsciously believe that suffering is the price of connection, and that silent subjugation is noble. “I should be able to tolerate the intolerable in order to make this work.” And when you try to connect with somebody who doesn’t see your needs, you don’t notice “this person isn’t attuned to me”, instead you sense “this relationship pattern feels familiar, this must be what love is”. You have been trained at your core that your needs don’t matter, so you always must work to prove your worth. And importantly - that if you don’t have to work for it, then you can’t trust it. So we push away people who are easy, ready and open. And instead pursue those who are distant, difficult and disconnected. “I have to prove that I am worthy of loving” becomes addictive and completely disorienting. The psychological strength that once enabled you has now entrapped you. This capacity to endure emotional pain without protest is what happens when your nervous system learns that discomfort is safer than confrontation. In totality, this obscures your ability to understand what you do and don’t want to tolerate. Perhaps your ego doesn’t want to admit defeat. Shame spirals in this way. If you believe you are the problem then you also have to be the solution. So you stay, you tolerate, you try harder. But just because you’re suffering does not mean you are noble. It just means you are suffering. No one is going to congratulate you on your deathbed with a medal for “never making a fuss”. No one is going to thank you for quietly lifting what should never have been yours to carry. The answer isn’t less resilience but less denial. A boundary isn’t an intellectual decision. It’s an emotional limit, and if you can’t feel it, you can’t enforce it. So… is it any surprise if you use “fuck your feelings” as a mantra and then wonder why you can never connect with your emotions? Psychological strength doesn’t always make you strong. Often it just makes you stay too long. You risk one day waking up in a life you built entirely around what you were willing to tolerate. And then you finally break. ​ ------------- MODERN WISDOM ------------- I do a podcast where I pretend to have a British accent.​ This week’s upcoming episodes: Monday.Rick Glassman - I wore a cute cardigan, we discuss deep emotions, social awkwardness and fart jokes. Cosy. Listen now on Spotify ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/8kupqx00xmaoh2z9zrrinckggqg99c3h4qq7/3ohphkh309lr3xtr/aHR0cHM6Ly9vcGVuLnNwb3RpZnkuY29tL3Nob3cvMFhyT3F2eGxxUUk2Ym1kWUh1SVZucj9zaT00M2YwMDI5YzA5ZGE0MzQ4 ) and Apple Podcasts ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/8kupqx00xmaoh2z9zrrinckggqg99c3h4qq7/n2hohvhvm5pgvmt6/aHR0cHM6Ly9wb2RjYXN0cy5hcHBsZS5jb20vZ2IvcG9kY2FzdC9tb2Rlcm4td2lzZG9tL2lkMTM0Nzk3MzU0OQ== ). Thursday.Oliver Burkeman - one of the world’s best writers on how to balance productivity and happiness. Chase and presence. Spectacular. Saturday.Dave Evans - what does the leading science say about how to engineer meaning and reinvent your life? Find out. ​ ------------------- THINGS I'VE LEARNED ------------------- 1.​Can immigrants make the native population happy? “The gender composition of immigrants affects the subjective well-being of native citizens. Female immigrants are robustly positively associated. In contrast, male immigrants are negatively associated with the life satisfaction of the native population.” — Rob Henderson (horrendous news for me, a male immigrant) ​ 2.​The Alpha History Fantasy. Modern men who are angry at a world they feel has rejected them mistakenly believe that they would have done better in medieval times. They are somehow adamant that the chance of them being Genghis Khan is greater than the chance of them being cannon fodder peasant #3,582 whose favela was sacked and destroyed. ​ 3.​A lot of it is just timing. Most people who say “I finally found a partner who could handle me” forget just how much of an asshole they were to their exes. It often takes a lot of clumsy mistakes to form immature people into someone finally datable, the glory gets taken by the final partner, but most of the work was done by the broken hearts that came before. ​ --------- LIFE HACK --------- UK border hack.​I came up with an idea for how to defeat the British Border Police. ​O​utwit immigration.​ ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/8kupqx00xmaoh2z9zrrinckggqg99c3h4qq7/48hvhehmvqe9mlax/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuaW5zdGFncmFtLmNvbS9wL0RVc2FyQldDQkhXLw== )​​ Big love,Chris x Try my productivity drink Neutonic ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/8kupqx00xmaoh2z9zrrinckggqg99c3h4qq7/wnh2hghqnvp4q6a7/aHR0cHM6Ly9uZXV0b25pYy5jb20vbW9kZXJud2lzZG9t ).Share this article with your friends here ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/8kupqx00xmaoh2z9zrrinckggqg99c3h4qq7/08hwh9h2vw5x26fl/aHR0cHM6Ly91bmlxdWUtdGhpbmtlci03MzE4LmNrLnBhZ2UvcHJvZmlsZQ== ). PSI wonder how many relationships have deepened or ended due to those Valentines Questions Unsubscribe ( https://28d3c607.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail4.com/8kupqx00xmaoh2z9zrrinckggqg99c3h4qq7 ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail4.com/8kupqx00xmaoh2z9zrrinckggqg99c3h4qq7 ) | 2 Osborne Road, Newcastle, NE22AA

Happy Valentine's Day! Want to connect more deeply with your partner? ​75 of the Best Relationship Questions ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/v8um3g88g5brhvle83etqcv00p0lls9h3qqv/qvh8h7hdzv0og2il/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaHJpc3dpbGx4LmNvbS92YWxlbnRpbmU= )​(these have been breaking people's brains on Instagram) I dug through the internet's most viral posts and wrote some of my own to create a list of 50 questions to deeply connect with your partner. And an extra 25 to give you clarity if you're not sure about your current relationship. Whether you're newly dating someone or in a long-term couple, the questions you ask are key to maintaining a strong connection. Hopefully you know that regardless of whether you’re already in your dream relationship or considering a new phase, the fact that you’re seeking out this kind of thing makes you a rare and remarkable person. ​Download the Valentine's Review for free. ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/v8um3g88g5brhvle83etqcv00p0lls9h3qqv/qvh8h7hdzv0og2il/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaHJpc3dpbGx4LmNvbS92YWxlbnRpbmU= )​ Chris x ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/v8um3g88g5brhvle83etqcv00p0lls9h3qqv/g3hnh5hmrnk67ksr/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaHJpc3dpbGx4LmNvbS92YWxlbnRpbmUv )​ Unsubscribe ( https://28d3c607.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail4.com/v8um3g88g5brhvle83etqcv00p0lls9h3qqv ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail4.com/v8um3g88g5brhvle83etqcv00p0lls9h3qqv ) | 2 Osborne Road, Newcastle, NE22AA

I’m coming back to the UK & Ireland with a brand new live show! Edinburgh, Portsmouth, Birmingham, Manchester, Cardiff, Exeter, London, Dublin, Newcastle & Belfast 🚀 ​​G​et your tickets now. ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/p9u9exqqx7t9h2m9p6os6cp008033hrh6ggn/x0hph6heo8mdekf5/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaHJpc3dpbGxpYW1zb24ubGl2ZS9wcmVzYWxl )​ ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/p9u9exqqx7t9h2m9p6os6cp008033hrh6ggn/x0hph6heo8mdekf5/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaHJpc3dpbGxpYW1zb24ubGl2ZS9wcmVzYWxl )​ Unsubscribe ( https://28d3c607.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail4.com/p9u9exqqx7t9h2m9p6os6cp008033hrh6ggn ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail4.com/p9u9exqqx7t9h2m9p6os6cp008033hrh6ggn ) | 2 Osborne Road, Newcastle, NE22AA

*************** 3 MINUTE MONDAY *************** Hi friend, I’m coming back on tour in the UK & Ireland with a brand new live show 🚀 ​Presale signup is now live ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034unhkn8znziqcwgg8g00b6hw33m/e0hph7h7mxwn7gh8/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaHJpc3dpbGxpYW1zb24ubGl2ZQ== ) for first access to VIP, meet & greet and standard tickets. “All life is problem-solving.” — Karl Popper A few months ago I was on tour in Nashville with my manager Luke and he was telling me how he sometimes gets in trouble with his wife at 1am because he’s still on his phone. Messaging, emailing, sending voice notes, just… coordinating shit. For clarity, she is entirely justified as Luke has the highest phone use of anybody I know, but he gave an excuse: “I have a brain that likes to solve problems. I’m just trying to give it good problems to solve.” That sentence stuck with me. Because it seems to me that the world is split into two types of people: those who struggle to ever solve problems, and those who don't know how to stop. Luke has a Problem Solving Brain. And so do I, and so do a lot of you guys too. You’re the high-energy, obsessive, pattern-seekers. Always turning the Rubik’s Cube in your head. Always trying to make sense of something. Always looking for friction you can reduce. This is incredibly powerful when directed toward useful problems, and absolutely destructive when left to direct itself. The worst position to be in is having a Problem Solving Brain with nothing constructive to point it at. Because the impulse doesn’t disappear, it just degrades. The brain doesn’t stop wanting to solve, it just starts solving worse problems. That’s when people get consumed by politics or porn or their ex. Not because those things are especially meaningful, but because they’re available and emotionally charged and endlessly unresolved. A problem-solving brain with no worthwhile problem will happily chew on junk. Look, maybe with enough mindfulness you eventually loosen your grip on the need to solve anything at all and reach some monk-level detachment from mental friction. That’s probably the end goal, perhaps. But it’s unrealistic to suggest most people can simply drop that instinct right now. Pattern-seeking isn’t a habit, it’s a default setting. You can interrupt it, create distance from it, aim it better, but you don’t really get to switch it off. So a more effective interim strategy is simpler and far more honest: accept that you’re going to try and solve problems anyway, so just give yourself great problems to solve. That drive is inevitable. You don’t get to opt out of it - you only get to decide where it points. If you don’t choose the target, your brain will. And it won’t choose wisely. It’ll grab whatever is closest and loudest and most emotionally charged and hardest to resolve. That means you don’t focus on the best problem - just the stickiest one. So the real question isn’t whether you’ll solve problems. It’s whether the problems you’re solving are worthy of the effort. ​ ------------- MODERN WISDOM ------------- I do a podcast where I pretend to have a British accent.​ This week’s upcoming episodes: Monday.Matthew Hussey - how do you know if you should break up with your partner, why do we struggle to commit to ending things with someone who is bad for us and how can you move on? Listen now on Spotify ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034unhkn8znziqcwgg8g00b6hw33m/7qh7h8h9dgp492fz/aHR0cHM6Ly9vcGVuLnNwb3RpZnkuY29tL3Nob3cvMFhyT3F2eGxxUUk2Ym1kWUh1SVZucj9zaT00M2YwMDI5YzA5ZGE0MzQ4 ) and Apple Podcasts ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034unhkn8znziqcwgg8g00b6hw33m/owhkhqhwxzl8w2bv/aHR0cHM6Ly9wb2RjYXN0cy5hcHBsZS5jb20vZ2IvcG9kY2FzdC9tb2Rlcm4td2lzZG9tL2lkMTM0Nzk3MzU0OQ== ). Thursday.4.1M Q&A - I shaved my head and answer questions about not having a wife, what to think about before chasing success, forearms, alcohol, supplements & Iran. Saturday.James Sexton - it’s Valentine’s Day so I brought on NYC’s #1 divorce attorney. Absolute fire. Enjoy. ​ ------------------- THINGS I'VE LEARNED ------------------- 1.​Can you protect victims without protecting criminals? “1% of the population is responsible for more than 60% of violent crime. And a disproportionate share of that 1% happens to come from marginalised or dispossessed groups. And because of this the logic some people seem to think ‘well we just shouldn’t enforce laws anymore’. But the problem is, criminals usually victimise people around them. And the people they’re victimising also tend to be disproportionately poor, disproportionately marginalised and disproportionately from deprived backgrounds too. Compared to Americans who earn more than $75,000 a year, the lowest-income Americans are: * 7x more likely to be victims of aggravated assault. * 7x more likely to be victims of robbery. * 20x more likely to be victims of sexual assault and homicide. Virtually every crime you can think of — the poor are the most likely to be victimised by it. And what gets lost is that poor people are much more likely to be victimised by crime than to be perpetrators of crime. But we focus so much of the attention on the perpetrators — and how they come from marginalised and deprived backgrounds — and we just don’t think nearly as much about the victims and what happens to them and what their lives look like afterward. And I think that’s a shame. I mean, if there’s a criminal who commits an act, it seems reasonable that we should spend more time thinking about how to help the victim than the perpetrator.” — Rob Henderson ​ 2.​A tweet that I’ve been puzzled by. “Men hate Sabrina Carpenter and love Sydney Sweeney. Women hate Sydney Sweeney and love Sabrina Carpenter.” — Maggie Moda Why? ​ 3.​Finessed by a little black mirror. “You pity the moth confusing a lamp for the moon, yet here you are confusing a screen for the world.” — Jay Alto ​ --------- LIFE HACK --------- Modern Wisdom Valentine's Review. This has been breaking people's brains on Instagram. I collected a list of 50 of the best, most viral and evidence-based questions to connect more deeply with your partner. And 25 to help you work out if you should leave them. ​​75 of the Best Relationship Questions​. ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034unhkn8znziqcwgg8g00b6hw33m/z2hghnhe5grdelup/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaHJpc3dpbGx4LmNvbS92YWxlbnRpbmU= )​​ Big love,Chris x Try my productivity drink Neutonic ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034unhkn8znziqcwgg8g00b6hw33m/p8heh9h4rv574pfq/aHR0cHM6Ly9uZXV0b25pYy5jb20vbW9kZXJud2lzZG9t ).Share this article with your friends here ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034unhkn8znziqcwgg8g00b6hw33m/x0hph6hekgd7emf5/aHR0cHM6Ly91bmlxdWUtdGhpbmtlci03MzE4LmNrLnBhZ2UvcHJvZmlsZQ== ). PSI can't wait to show you the announcement video for the UK & Ireland tour this week. Unsubscribe ( https://28d3c607.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034unhkn8znziqcwgg8g00b6hw33m ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034unhkn8znziqcwgg8g00b6hw33m ) | 2 Osborne Road, Newcastle, NE22AA

*************** 3 MINUTE MONDAY *************** Hi friend, ​Neutonic ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/mvue7vnnv0b5hqvkn48u5cr22m2qqf3hkee7/25h2hoh3lz28gwa3/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmV1dG9uaWMuY29tL3Byb2R1Y3RzL3Byb2R1Y3Rpdml0eS1kcmluay0xMi1jYW5z ) just launched our first ever Variety Pack in the UK. So if you've ever been Neutonic-curious but can't decide which flavour to buy - you can now get a single tray of 12 cans in 4 flavours. ​Shop Neutonic Variety Packs ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/mvue7vnnv0b5hqvkn48u5cr22m2qqf3hkee7/25h2hoh3lz28gwa3/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmV1dG9uaWMuY29tL3Byb2R1Y3RzL3Byb2R1Y3Rpdml0eS1kcmluay0xMi1jYW5z ) before they sell out. (UK-only for now) I’ve been thinking about The Dark Side Of Monk Mode. Monk Mode has grown to huge popularity over the last few years as a self-improvement strategy, especially for men. It’s a retreat from the world to focus on the 3 I’s - Introspection, Isolation and Improvement. Despite its recent ascendence, it is nothing new, Illimitable Man was writing about this back in 2014: “Monk mode is a temporary form of MGTOW, by cutting yourself off from the rest of the world for a while you can fine-tune your focus, calibrate your direction and confront yourself. You’ll be acknowledging your weaknesses and then formulating a plan of action to deal with them. The focus is on “minimising your time contribution to social obligations and junk activities because these consume much of your time whilst yielding little to negligible increase towards your social market value. Monk mode is a serious commitment that is not to be half-assed. You’re either doing it, or you’re not. It’ll be a struggle in the beginning, but once you’re fully engaged it becomes a beneficial, productive and dare I say even addictive lifestyle.” I have gone full Monk Mode a number of times in my life, with great success. 2017, 2018, then mid-2019 basically straight through Covid until 2021. I’ve cut out alcohol for over 2000 days in the last 8 years. Gone 500 days without caffeine. 1500+ sessions of meditation. 5+ years of daily journals filled, 300+ sessions of yin yoga, probably 500+ hours of Stu McGill’s Big 3. All done in a bedroom in Newcastle Upon Tyne UK, sat, on my own, usually first thing in the morning. Almost all of the most important progress I have ever made was facilitated by a concentrated period like this. However, Monk Mode’s reliable effectiveness creates a problem. The dark side is the final two words from IM’s breakdown above… “Addictive lifestyle.” The problem is that Monk Mode justifies a retreat from life, risk taking and adventure as self development. It makes you feel noble in isolation. So much so that it can become hard to bring yourself back out. This means that if you already have a tendency to live a sheltered, unsocial life, you’re encouraging yourself to abscond even further away from ever building a real-life support network - the thing which you actually need most in the long run. I saw this in a friend over a decade ago who was on a fitness journey. He was already introverted and socially shy, then his upcoming fitness competition justified 8pm bedtimes, militant routines and the rejection of all social invites. The competition came and went, but the routine didn’t change. It took years for him to re-venture out into some sense of normality. This is largely a personal reflection too. The allure of perpetually working on yourself is high. Improvement is rewarding. But if you’re not careful, you can spend the rest of your life focussed on the 3 I’s at the expense of the actual reason you did Monk Mode in the first place - to be able to show up in the world in a better way. Bill Perkins says that “delayed gratification in the extreme results in no gratification”. With Monk Mode, you practise in private so you can perform in public. Private practise in the extreme results in no public performance. TLDR: Don’t obsess for too long in solitude for personal growth or you’ll struggle to reintegrate. Solution: Periodise. Set a deadline for your Monk Mode to end. 3-6 months is a sweet spot in my experience. Do longer if you’ve not done it before, shorter if you’re further along your journey. ​ ------------- MODERN WISDOM ------------- I do a podcast where I pretend to have a British accent.​ This week’s upcoming episodes: Monday.Bryan Johnson - how to maximise your sleep, the single best intervention for longevity he’s found, the perfect sauna protocol and much more. Listen now on Spotify ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/mvue7vnnv0b5hqvkn48u5cr22m2qqf3hkee7/qvh8h7hde5r4v5cl/aHR0cHM6Ly9vcGVuLnNwb3RpZnkuY29tL3Nob3cvMFhyT3F2eGxxUUk2Ym1kWUh1SVZucj9zaT00M2YwMDI5YzA5ZGE0MzQ4 ) and Apple Podcasts ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/mvue7vnnv0b5hqvkn48u5cr22m2qqf3hkee7/g3hnh5hmg53ln8ir/aHR0cHM6Ly9wb2RjYXN0cy5hcHBsZS5jb20vZ2IvcG9kY2FzdC9tb2Rlcm4td2lzZG9tL2lkMTM0Nzk3MzU0OQ== ). Thursday.Morgan Housel - my favourite writer on the psychology of why we all such at finance, how to spend money well and timeless lessons on finding a fulfilling life. Saturday.Dr Paul Eastwick - has evolutionary psychology got relationships all wrong? I debate the issue with someone who thinks yes. ​ ------------------- THINGS I'VE LEARNED ------------------- 1.​You don’t perform on 6 hours sleep. One of the most important sleep studies ever ran a brutally simple test. People slept 4h, 6h, or 8h per night for 14 days. No all-nighters. Just “normal” short sleep. Cognitive performance was tested every two hours. By day 14: 6 hours = same impairment as being awake for 24 hours. 4 hours = same as 48 hours awake. But here’s the scary part - after day 3–4, people stopped feeling more tired. Reaction times kept slowing, attention lapses kept increasing, working memory kept degrading. But subjective sleepiness flatlined. Your brain keeps getting worse, your ability to notice it breaks. This is why chronic undersleeping feels sustainable - you adapt to feeling tired but you do not adapt to being cognitively impaired. The participants would’ve told you they felt “okay”. Objectively, they were functioning like they’d pulled an all-nighter. If you’re sleeping 6 hours and think you’re fine, you’ve probably lost calibration. Sleep need is biological. Most adults need 7–9 hours. “I only need 6” usually means “I forgot what normal feels like.” Feeling fine is not evidence you’re functioning well. Chronic sleep loss doesn’t just impair your brain - it blinds you to the impairment. — h/t Aakash Gupta ​ 2.​It’s bravery all the way down. “Life shrinks or expands according to one’s courage.” — Anaïs Nin, 1939 ​ 3.​Your life does not need to be easier, it needs to be simpler. Your system is designed to handle stress and challenge but not complication. You probably handle hard things pretty well but feel overwhelmed when they become messy. Do not attribute to difficulty that which can be explained by complexity. ​ --------- LIFE HACK --------- Jet lag only happens if you permit yourself to be timecucked by your new location. I’m in Qatar for 3 days and am refusing to change to the timezone. Plan has been: stay on CWT (Chris Williamson Time). 2pm wake, 5am go to bed. One more day to go, currently it’s working surprisingly well. Will report back if my brain explodes when I return to Austin.​ Big love,Chris x Share this article with your friends here ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/mvue7vnnv0b5hqvkn48u5cr22m2qqf3hkee7/9qhzhnhd4mp6xoa9/aHR0cHM6Ly91bmlxdWUtdGhpbmtlci03MzE4LmNrLnBhZ2UvcHJvZmlsZQ== ). PSI really can't wait for this new tour to drop. Unsubscribe ( https://28d3c607.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail4.com/mvue7vnnv0b5hqvkn48u5cr22m2qqf3hkee7 ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail4.com/mvue7vnnv0b5hqvkn48u5cr22m2qqf3hkee7 ) | 2 Osborne Road, Newcastle, NE22AA

*************** 3 MINUTE MONDAY *************** Hi friend, I'm going on tour to Australia, New Zealand & Bali in March. Come see me. ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034unhk5238ofqcwokq500b6hw33m/58hvh7hg373n9qu6/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaHJpc3dpbGxpYW1zb24ubGl2ZQ== )​ It’s common wisdom to say “the only criticisms that hurt are the ones that are true.” I don’t think that’s right. The criticisms that hurt most are the ones that you know aren’t true, but that other people might believe. The only thing worse than having your reputation damaged for something shameful you did is having it damaged for something shameful you didn’t do. That’s wrongful conviction. You have to carry the weight of the accusation alongside the indignation of being innocent. You’re not just hurt. You’re trapped. In theory, it’s a wonderful idea to ignore the opinions of people who misjudge you. If they don’t understand your message, why bother correcting them? Why listen to people who don’t like you, don’t understand what you’re trying to do, don’t have your best interests at heart, and actively enjoy being malicious, bad-faith, or stupid? Well… because sometimes they’re loud. And sometimes other people hear them. And sometimes those other people believe them. The most accurate opinion of someone rarely defines them, the most viral one does. So of course you feel enraged. That reaction isn’t fragility. It’s a rational response to the fear of being misrepresented in public. ​ ------------- MODERN WISDOM ------------- I do a podcast where I pretend to have a British accent.​ This week’s upcoming episodes: Monday.HARDY - one of the biggest country artists and writers on the planet on surviving a tour bus crash, engineering emotion and the creative process. Listen now on Spotify ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034unhk5238ofqcwokq500b6hw33m/25h2hoh3ldl8o9s3/aHR0cHM6Ly9vcGVuLnNwb3RpZnkuY29tL3Nob3cvMFhyT3F2eGxxUUk2Ym1kWUh1SVZucj9zaT00M2YwMDI5YzA5ZGE0MzQ4 ) and Apple Podcasts ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034unhk5238ofqcwokq500b6hw33m/qvh8h7hdene46pcl/aHR0cHM6Ly9wb2RjYXN0cy5hcHBsZS5jb20vZ2IvcG9kY2FzdC9tb2Rlcm4td2lzZG9tL2lkMTM0Nzk3MzU0OQ== ). Thursday.Paul Rosalie - the world’s most famous junglekeeper on uncontacted tribes of the Amazon, being attacked by a stingray and how to survive Peruvian drug cartels. Saturday.Richard Shotton - what are the behavioural science tricks used by the world’s biggest companies to market their products? So so good. ​ ------------------- THINGS I'VE LEARNED ------------------- 1.​Modern dads might not be so deadbeat. Millennial fathers spent only marginally less time caring for their children than Baby Boomer mothers of the same age. ​ ​ 2.​Your partner’s current life is your future life. “When you select a partner, whether you realise it or not, you are choosing a whole lifestyle, and not just the person. You're choosing their sleep schedule. You're choosing their money habits. You're choosing their stress levels, their family drama, their levels of cleanliness, their work ethic, their coping mechanisms. All of these things will be a baseline of your daily life. If their normal is doom scrolling till 2 a.m., avoiding all conflict, impulse spending and never exercising, guess what? You're signing up to live in that ecosystem. Love does not cancel out people's flaws. In fact, love just makes you tolerate them for longer. Most people obsess over ‘do we have romantic chemistry?’ And they completely skip ‘can I live with this person's version of Tuesday every week for the next 10 years?’ The hard truth is, you don't fix somebody's lifestyle from the inside. You either accept the package as they are or you walk.” — Mark Manson ​ 3.​I am not what I am, I am what you mistake me for. “Nothing gives you a clearer look into someone than how they misinterpret things; every misinterpretation is a confession.” —Dylan O’Sullivan ​ --------- LIFE HACK --------- You might not need more caffeine or sleep, you might just be dehydrated. Proper hydration is not just about drinking fluids, it’s about having sufficient electrolytes in your body to actually use those fluids properly. Drinking LMNT Salt first thing in the morning is the way I’ve started my day for over 3 years now. It tastes delicious and contains zero sugar or any other junk. I keep harping on about it because it really works. Try it and feel the difference. And if you don’t like it for any reason, they offer an unlimited duration money-back guarantee where you don’t even need to return the box - so you can buy it 100% risk-free. ​Try LMNT risk-free with a free sample pack. ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034unhk5238ofqcwokq500b6hw33m/g3hnh5hmgpglz5hr/aHR0cHM6Ly9kcmlua2xtbnQuY29tL21vZGVybndpc2RvbQ== ) (US only)​ Big love,Chris x Try my productivity drink Neutonic ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034unhk5238ofqcwokq500b6hw33m/9qhzhnhd49462va9/aHR0cHM6Ly9uZXV0b25pYy5jb20vbW9kZXJud2lzZG9t ).Share this article with your friends here ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034unhk5238ofqcwokq500b6hw33m/3ohphkh3xzx2deur/aHR0cHM6Ly91bmlxdWUtdGhpbmtlci03MzE4LmNrLnBhZ2UvcHJvZmlsZQ== ). PSThe new Austin studio is a few weeks away from being ready. I can't wait to show you what I've built! Unsubscribe ( https://28d3c607.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034unhk5238ofqcwokq500b6hw33m ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034unhk5238ofqcwokq500b6hw33m ) | 2 Osborne Road, Newcastle, NE22AA

*************** 3 MINUTE MONDAY *************** Hi friend, I'm going on tour to Australia, New Zealand & Bali in March. Come see me. ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034unhk50xx8iqcwokq500b6hw33m/l2hehmhlqzonrei6/aHR0cHM6Ly9wcmV2aWV3LmNvbnZlcnRraXQtbWFpbDQuY29tL2NsaWNrL2RwaGVoMGh6aG0vYUhSMGNITTZMeTlqYUhKcGMzZHBiR3hwWVcxemIyNHViR2wyWlE9PQ== )​ Discipline, motivation and obsession are three words that get thrown around a lot. I think most people misunderstand all three, and because of that they miss some very big lessons about how life actually works. Here’s the simplest way to separate them: Discipline is “I will make myself do the thing.”Motivation is “I want to do the thing.”Obsession is “I can’t not do the thing.” All three produce the same outcome - the thing gets done. But the internal cost could not be more different, and the difference is friction. Discipline is friction accepted. You don’t want to do the thing, but you do it anyway. You lean on effort, willpower, routines, environment design, past patterns and habits to drag yourself over the line. It’s mostly under your control, which is why it’s so reliable. If you are willing to pay the price, discipline will always show up. The problem is that the price is high. Discipline is expensive. It burns energy. It creates resistance. It feels heavy. It works, but it’s a grind. Motivation is friction reduced. You want to do the thing, so the resistance drops. You still need effort, but less of it. Motivation comes from desire, circumstance, novelty, identity, community and emotion. You can try to manufacture it with goal setting, visualisation, community support, celebrating micro-wins, me and Alex Hormozi compilation videos and heavy metal music. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. Motivation is unreliable because it’s downstream of how you feel. When your mood dips, motivation evaporates. It’s useful fuel, but you can’t build a life that depends on it. Obsession is friction inverted. You don’t need to make yourself do the thing, you can’t avoid it. You don’t push, instead the work actively pulls you toward it. It invades your thoughts, it follows you into the shower, into the car, into bed. When you’re tired it doesn’t disappear. Obsession is motivation’s poltergeist big brother who never stops haunting you. And because you can’t switch it off, that’s why obsessions with negative pursuits like politics or porn or a toxic ex can be so destructive. The reason obsession is so powerful is simple - it is permanent free motivation and discipline. You get output without negotiation and action without willpower. It’s the fuel-source equivalent of hitting a Super Star in Super Mario. This is why obsession produces disproportionate results in short windows of time. People look at the output and assume superhuman discipline, when in reality the work felt almost unavoidable. People admire discipline, and envy motivation, but very few understand obsession. And because they don’t understand it, they waste it. Here’s the part people miss… obsession isn’t a personality trait, it’s a state - which means it can’t be summoned on command. You can’t decide to be obsessed. It appears when curiosity, identity, reward and meaning accidentally align. And when it appears, it doesn’t last forever. That’s the tragedy - obsession is a non-renewable fuel source. When it leaves, you don’t get it back on demand. In future it will take you so much more effort to get even partially close to this level of output - so use your free fuel while it’s available. Which is why the correct response to a positive obsession isn’t to suppress it, balance it or apologise for it, it’s to surrender to it. If you’re currently obsessed with something positive, my advice is to you is this: let it crawl inside you, wear your skin and stare out through your eyes. If you can’t stop watching lifting videos and spend all your time thinking about diet and training, now isn’t the time to be balanced with the gym. If your sleep is wrecked because you’re ruminating about a business idea that you can’t wait to launch then don’t seek calm, you’re allowed to go demon-mode with it. Serial obsessives move from intense project to intense project, making huge progress while the tide is with them so that when the obsession inevitably fades, something important has already happened - the rails for their future behaviour have been laid. By the time the obsession wanes, you’ve built the patterns, routines, skills and habits that allow you to keep going when the fuel is no longer free. I started going to the gym when I was 18 because I was obsessed with gaining muscle. I researched protein shake formulations, dreamt of going to Gold’s Gym in LA and skipped nights out partying to stay in my bedroom and read the Misc forums on Bodybuilding.com. Nearly 20 years later I’m still training. Not because I’m really even that disciplined or motivated, but because an old obsession fossilised into my identity. The same is true for my meditation habit, my research for podcast guests, my productivity systems and my desire to build businesses. What once obsessed me has now simply become me. What often looks like discipline today is just the echo of someone’s past obsessions. This is the quiet reframe people rarely say out loud - discipline sometimes isn’t the starting point, it’s just the residue. It’s what remains when obsession cools down and settles into routine. So if you’re lucky enough to be obsessed right now, stop trying to moderate it into something respectable. Stop worrying about whether it looks excessive. Stop pretending you’re supposed to feel balanced. Balance is what you can enjoy later, obsession is what you can embrace now. Most people never get an obsession worth anything. If you have one, don’t waste it. ​ ------------- MODERN WISDOM ------------- I do a podcast where I pretend to have a British accent.​ This week’s upcoming episodes: Monday.Trevor Wallace - why autism is the new stolen valor, why you can’t white-knuckle creativity and how to balance your drive for success with actually enjoying your life. Listen now on Spotify ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034unhk50xx8iqcwokq500b6hw33m/m2h7h5h327oqe5hm/aHR0cHM6Ly9vcGVuLnNwb3RpZnkuY29tL3Nob3cvMFhyT3F2eGxxUUk2Ym1kWUh1SVZucj9zaT00M2YwMDI5YzA5ZGE0MzQ4 ) and Apple Podcasts ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034unhk50xx8iqcwokq500b6hw33m/dpheh0hedmqo5nim/aHR0cHM6Ly9wb2RjYXN0cy5hcHBsZS5jb20vZ2IvcG9kY2FzdC9tb2Rlcm4td2lzZG9tL2lkMTM0Nzk3MzU0OQ== ). Thursday.Dr Jay Wiles - the science of Heart Rate Variability, how to improve your HRV and the new world of bioresonance feedback breathwork. Saturday.Donald Robertson - how can you reduce anxiety and negative emotions using the principles of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy? And a bit of Stoicism. ​ ------------------- THINGS I'VE LEARNED ------------------- 1.​The American Time Use Survey had some jarring facts. 1. Between 2003 and 2024, the amount of time that Americans spent attending or hosting a social event declined by 50%. 2. Among young people ages 15 to 24, they spent 70% less time attending or hosting parties in 2024 than in 2003. 3. Men who watch television now spend 7 hours doing so for every hour they spend hanging out with another person outside the house. 4. The average female pet owner spends more time with her pet than all humans put together. — h/t American Time Use Survey & Andrew Yang ​ 2.​Actions over words. “You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.” — often (wrongly) attributed to Jung ​ 3.​Actions over intentions. “A person can want you with their feelings and still fail you with their habits. Emotion comes naturally to people, behaviour does not. Most of us love with the same instincts we grew up with, and never realise our default settings are doing the damage. You start noticing the gap between how deeply they care and how loosely they live. They show up with intensity, but disappear in the details. They mean every word, but their patterns pull in the opposite direction. Not because they do not love you, but because no one ever taught them how to hold what they want without dropping it. Affection is easy. Consistency requires a kind of self-awareness most people spend years avoiding. Love without structure feels warm at first, then unstable, then unsafe. Not because the love is weak, but because it has no shape, no rhythm, no reliability. Emotional safety dies quietly in that space, not from lack of love, but from the weight of someone who never learned how to turn feeling into action. And the hardest truth is this: someone can truly want you and still not be prepared for the version of themselves they would need to become to keep you.” — the brilliant Warpaint Journal ​ --------- LIFE HACK --------- Stop drinking alcohol. Sobriety is a superpower that everyone has access to.​ Big love,Chris x Try my productivity drink Neutonic ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034unhk50xx8iqcwokq500b6hw33m/e0hph7h7m2kl4gu8/aHR0cHM6Ly9uZXV0b25pYy5jb20vbW9kZXJud2lzZG9t ).Share this article with your friends here ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034unhk50xx8iqcwokq500b6hw33m/7qh7h8h9dm06z2hz/aHR0cHM6Ly91bmlxdWUtdGhpbmtlci03MzE4LmNrLnBhZ2UvcHJvZmlsZQ== ). PSUK tour announcement coming soon my babies. Unsubscribe ( https://28d3c607.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034unhk50xx8iqcwokq500b6hw33m ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034unhk50xx8iqcwokq500b6hw33m ) | 2 Osborne Road, Newcastle, NE22AA

*************** 3 MINUTE MONDAY *************** Hi friend, I'm going on tour to Australia, New Zealand & Bali in March. Come see me. ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/5qu7vellequ7hn35v6xbzi92qw344bnhdxx6/g3hnh5hmx2q623ir/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaHJpc3dpbGxpYW1zb24ubGl2ZQ== )​ “Thus conscience does make cowards of us all.” The line comes from Hamlet, and it’s usually misheard as an insult. As if Shakespeare is sneering at morality - like ethics soften us, or thought drains courage from the body. That’s not what’s happening, Shakespeare isn’t attacking goodness, he’s pointing at self-awareness and naming its cost. In the “To be, or not to be” soliloquy, Hamlet isn’t really weighing life versus death. He’s circling a more practical question: why do humans hesitate to act even when action would clearly relieve suffering? Why do we endure situations we don’t want and why do we tolerate lives that we could in theory change? Well… Pain isn’t the only obstacle, imagination is. By “conscience,” Shakespeare means something closer to consciousness. The ability to think ahead, judge ourselves and simulate futures before they arrive. To see consequences coming and experience them emotionally in advance. Unfortunately, that ability cuts both ways. The very capacity that makes us reflective, ethical, and intelligent also makes us hesitant. We imagine worst-case futures so vividly that we treat them as already real. So courage isn’t defeated by fear. It’s defeated by simulation. We rehearse embarrassment, loss, rejection, and moral failure in advance, and the body responds as if those things have already happened. Heart rate rises. Muscles tighten. Avoidance feels sensible. Inaction feels like safety. Hamlet describes what follows: thought “puzzles the will.” Reflection drains us. Not because thinking is bad, but because it multiplies potential outcomes faster than our actions can deal with them. Animals don’t suffer this - they just act when a threshold is crossed. Humans linger, and by the time the moment to move arrives, we feel as though we’ve already lived through its inevitable failure. So we wait. This is the deeper psychological point Shakespeare is making - our intelligence doesn’t just protect us, it inhibits us. We learn quickly from mistakes we make. We almost never feel the cost of mistakes we avoid. The humiliation of speaking and failing leaves a scar. The decades-long erosion of never speaking leaves nothing you can point to. Which explains why people stay in the wrong job, the wrong relationship, the wrong version of themselves for years. Not because they don’t know better, but because action demands stepping into an unrehearsed future. Hamlet names the real enemy: uncertainty. Not pain or effort but rather, the unknown. The mind would rather endure a familiar misery than gamble on an unfamiliar freedom. Even suffering becomes tolerable once it’s predictable. People would rather spend years in misery than risk a few days of pain. This is why modern life, despite being safer than any previous era, often feels more paralysing. Our nervous system evolved to avoid death and lions, now we use it to avoid embarrassment, misjudgement, reputational damage and identity fracture. And here’s the final uncomfortable implication Shakespeare leaves hanging - self-awareness is not a pure good. Beyond a certain point, it actually inhibits agency. Less reflection can mean more peace. Less certainty can mean more movement. Less conscience can sometimes mean more life. Courage isn’t about thinking clearly. Courage is moving while things are still unclear. A life can be deeply examined and still never lived. ​ ------------- MODERN WISDOM ------------- I do a podcast where I pretend to have a British accent.​ This week’s upcoming episodes: Monday.Joe Hudson - the goat of self-work is back. I cry at a song, Joe tells me how to stop arguing with your partner all the time, it’s brilliant. Don’t miss. Listen now on Spotify ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/5qu7vellequ7hn35v6xbzi92qw344bnhdxx6/9qhzhnhdn85z8dt9/aHR0cHM6Ly9vcGVuLnNwb3RpZnkuY29tL3Nob3cvMFhyT3F2eGxxUUk2Ym1kWUh1SVZucj9zaT00M2YwMDI5YzA5ZGE0MzQ4 ) and Apple Podcasts ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/5qu7vellequ7hn35v6xbzi92qw344bnhdxx6/n2hohvhve4764rb6/aHR0cHM6Ly9wb2RjYXN0cy5hcHBsZS5jb20vZ2IvcG9kY2FzdC9tb2Rlcm4td2lzZG9tL2lkMTM0Nzk3MzU0OQ== ). Thursday.Russ - blown away by how deep this rapper & artist is. How can you balance a desire for achievement with a need to be present? Nearly 3 hours of deepness. Saturday.Jonathan Swanson - how to outsource your life, delegate and use assistants to free up your time. Some great tactics for people with $0 and $10M. ​ ------------------- THINGS I'VE LEARNED ------------------- 1.​Why do women get PMS? Evolutionary biologist Michael Gillings offers a provocative suggestion: The condition nudged ancestral women to ditch infertile partners. For most of our evolutionary history, women were pregnant or breastfeeding most of the time, and thus regular menstrual cycles were rare… except among women paired with men who couldn’t get them pregnant. If premenstrual irritability increased the chances of such pairings dissolving, women could move on to more fertile partners, boosting their odds of passing on their genes. Supporting evidence for the theory includes the fact that anger during PMS is often directed at one’s partner. If Gillings is right, then PMS isn’t a biological accident but an evolved mechanism now mismatched with the modern world - a world in which even fertile couples often choose to postpone having children or forgo it altogether. — h/t Steve Stewart-Williams ​ 2.​You don’t get results from work you didn’t do. Stop complaining about the life you’re not living from the lifestyle you’re not living. ​ 3.​Basically the central conundrum of all hard chargers, and the question I’m mostly focussed on deconstructing on the show in 2026. “I want to strive for a lot but not miss my life.” ​ --------- LIFE HACK --------- Goop Kitchen. I spent the last month on the road, mostly in California. I didn’t know that Gwyneth Paltrow had made her own version of Flower Child. As much as I can’t read “Goop” without thinking of that vagina candle she released, honestly the food rips I was really impressed. No idea how many of these there are, but if Goop Kitchen pops up on your Uber Eats, it’s highly recommended.​ Big love,Chris x Try my productivity drink Neutonic ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/5qu7vellequ7hn35v6xbzi92qw344bnhdxx6/48hvhehmk3x63ksx/aHR0cHM6Ly9uZXV0b25pYy5jb20vbW9kZXJud2lzZG9t ).Share this article with your friends here ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/5qu7vellequ7hn35v6xbzi92qw344bnhdxx6/wnh2hghq8d0xdmi7/aHR0cHM6Ly91bmlxdWUtdGhpbmtlci03MzE4LmNrLnBhZ2UvcHJvZmlsZQ== ). PSDon't forget there's a playlist ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/5qu7vellequ7hn35v6xbzi92qw344bnhdxx6/reh8hohmnp6wp4b2/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaHJpc3dpbGx4LmNvbS9iYW5nZXJz ) of all my favourite music. Unsubscribe ( https://28d3c607.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail4.com/5qu7vellequ7hn35v6xbzi92qw344bnhdxx6 ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail4.com/5qu7vellequ7hn35v6xbzi92qw344bnhdxx6 ) | 2 Osborne Road, Newcastle, NE22AA

*************** 3 MINUTE MONDAY *************** Hi friend, “I still find myself with this sense that success has to be earned. And the only way to earn it is to inflict pain on yourself. And if you’re not in pain you didn’t try hard enough. And it would have been better if you’d suffered more. And I think that’s a lie, and I want to find out if it’s a lie or if it’s true.” — Rich Roll I think it’s a lie too. One of the most common questions that got asked on tour was “How do I give myself credit for my accomplishments in life? Why do I never feel finished or satisfied with a job well done?” This is another Curse Of Competence. If you’re good at things, and have high standards, you assume that you should always do well. Which means that success is not a cause for celebration but the minimum level of reasonable performance. Anything less than victory would be a failure, and victory itself becomes nothing more than acceptable. Congratulations, you might be very successful. You also might be very miserable. I shouldn’t say congratulations though. That makes it sound as if you chose it. A few things to keep in mind: You are wired this way for a reason. Your ancestors are made up of the most goal-driven, insecure overachievers from history. You could not have been any other way. Your brain does not care about you feeling good, it only cares about you being successful. In the past, success meant accumulating food and resources, now it means accumulating money and accomplishments. The number of ways your success-seeking system can be hijacked is greater than ever. It’s not your fault. There are no solutions, only tradeoffs. You don’t get to live the comfortable life with recognition and progress AND ALSO switch off from that stuff whenever you want. What, did you think you could be obsessive and driven in one area of your life but be able to create a hard boundary where it doesn’t bleed over into everything else? That’s just not the way it works. Look. You were born into a world you didn’t choose, maladapted for the mind you have, which you also didn’t choose, in an environment replete with games designed to hijack your drive and attention 24 hours a day. I’m impressed you even made it to breakfast today. ​ ------------- MODERN WISDOM ------------- I do a podcast where I pretend to have a British accent.​ This week’s upcoming episodes: Monday.Dr Andrew Huberman - the best protocols, supplements and habits to optimise your health, hormones and sleep going into 2026. So good. Listen now on Spotify ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/gkuvnmllm3t5hlgdg0xh8i8wx2699imhw22m/owhkhqhw5dk78nfv/aHR0cHM6Ly9vcGVuLnNwb3RpZnkuY29tL3Nob3cvMFhyT3F2eGxxUUk2Ym1kWUh1SVZucj9zaT00M2YwMDI5YzA5ZGE0MzQ4 ) and Apple Podcasts ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/gkuvnmllm3t5hlgdg0xh8i8wx2699imhw22m/z2hghnhe0x48drhp/aHR0cHM6Ly9wb2RjYXN0cy5hcHBsZS5jb20vZ2IvcG9kY2FzdC9tb2Rlcm4td2lzZG9tL2lkMTM0Nzk3MzU0OQ== ). Thursday.Arthur Brooks - what is the most evidence-based morning and evening routine for wellbeing and happiness? Why do breakups hurt so much? And much more. Saturday.Donald Robertson - how can you reduce anxiety and negative emotions using the principles of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy? And a bit of Stoicism. ​ ------------------- THINGS I'VE LEARNED ------------------- 1.​Which dogs should you really be scared of? ​ ​ 2.​Surplus Man Points are useful in multiple ways. “Women think men chase money and power for sex but in practice it's just as much to establish enough buffer room to allow us be cloyingly romantic with high caliber women without coming across as a total simp.” — Rob Henderson ​ 3.​Unteachable Lessons are unteachable. “We do not receive wisdom, we must discover it for ourselves, after a journey through the wilderness which no one else can make for us, which no one can spare us, for our wisdom is the point of view from which we come at last to regard the world.” — Marcel Proust ​ --------- LIFE HACK --------- Whoop’s new 5.0. If you’ve got health goals in 2026, I highly recommend Whoop. Track your sleep, steps, exercise, heart health and more, all from your wrist with a 14 day battery life. Plus - it's not another screen to distract you from living your life. Join for free, pay nothing for the brand new Whoop 5.0 strap and get your first month for free, plus there’s a 30 day money-back-guarantee on selected versions. So you can buy it for free, try it for free and if you don’t like it, just get your money back. ​Try the new Whoop risk-free. ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/gkuvnmllm3t5hlgdg0xh8i8wx2699imhw22m/p8heh9h48o3l7lsq/aHR0cHM6Ly9qb2luLndob29wLmNvbS9tb2Rlcm53aXNkb20= )​​ Big love,Chris x Try my productivity drink Neutonic ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/gkuvnmllm3t5hlgdg0xh8i8wx2699imhw22m/x0hph6hex0rl77i5/aHR0cHM6Ly9uZXV0b25pYy5jb20vbW9kZXJud2lzZG9t ).Share this article with your friends here ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/gkuvnmllm3t5hlgdg0xh8i8wx2699imhw22m/6qheh8hl0ekd2pto/aHR0cHM6Ly91bmlxdWUtdGhpbmtlci03MzE4LmNrLnBhZ2UvcHJvZmlsZQ== ). PSAustralia, New Zealand & Bali people - I am with you ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/gkuvnmllm3t5hlgdg0xh8i8wx2699imhw22m/kkhmh6hn4vd39lal/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaHJpc3dpbGxpYW1zb24ubGl2ZQ== ) in 2 months :) Unsubscribe ( https://28d3c607.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail4.com/gkuvnmllm3t5hlgdg0xh8i8wx2699imhw22m ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail4.com/gkuvnmllm3t5hlgdg0xh8i8wx2699imhw22m ) | 2 Osborne Road, Newcastle, NE22AA

*************** 3 MINUTE MONDAY *************** Hey there, You made a good call. Welcome to 3 Minute Monday! If we haven’t met yet, I’m Chris Williamson. I host a podcast ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034u7u49qel4fphwokq500b6hw33m/6qheh8hl5gnmkmto/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vQENocmlzV2lsbHg= ) where I ask questions of people who are way smarter than me. It's got 3 million subscribers now, so I guess some people like it… Along the way, I pick up a lot of insights worth stealing (and even develop some of my own). The best ones get shared with you. Every Monday, you’ll get: * A big idea to help you make sense of the world. * 3 facts to make you smarter (and more interesting at parties). * 1 life hack that’s actually useful (not just another “wake up at 5 am” tip). But this isn’t just podcast leftovers. 3 Minute Monday is filled with exclusive content, fresh insights, deep dives, plus occasional bonuses just for subscribers. In fact, here’s one right now… ​ ​Grab the Modern Wisdom Reading List (100 books to read before you die). ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034u7u49qel4fphwokq500b6hw33m/kkhmh6hn5q6kdxsl/aHR0cHM6Ly9hdHRhY2htZW50cy5jb252ZXJ0a2l0Y2RubS5jb20vMjYzODczLzZkMWY0M2QzLTgzNzUtNDM1NS1hZTAwLWQ3NzIwMTcxNmZjNi9Nb2Rlcm4lMjBXaXNkb20lMjBSZWFkaW5nJTIwTGlzdC5wZGY= ) You’re here because you want to be smarter and live better. These books will help you do that. Your first 3 Minute Monday hits your inbox next week. If you want to catch up now, you can read all past issues here. ( https://28d3c607.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034u7u49qel4fphwokq500b6hw33m/58hvh7hgn8krv4a6/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaHJpc3dpbGx4LmNvbS9ibG9nLw== )​ To make sure every issue hits your inbox, whitelist this email address or add me as a contact. If this email landed in Junk or Promotions, move it to your "Primary" inbox. Finally, a quick question: What’s one topic you wish more people talked about? Hit reply and let me know. I actually read these. See you soon. —Chris Unsubscribe ( https://28d3c607.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034u7u49qel4fphwokq500b6hw33m ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail4.com/zluog30034u7u49qel4fphwokq500b6hw33m ) | 2 Osborne Road, Newcastle, NE22AA