Explore all emails from Charles Duhigg

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/08hwh9h2rd8rz5sl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more *********************************** Mentorship makes the world go round *********************************** Mentors can make a huge difference. But how do you find one? How should a mentor help a protégé? What are the tactics that make the relationship work? Science has some answers. Mentorship used to involve a lot more togas. A good mentor can make a huge difference (in a career, in life, with happiness ...) ----------------------------------------------------------------- The word 'mentorship' comes from The Odyssey ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/l2hehmhl73g7rxb6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudGhlYXRsYW50aWMuY29tL2J1c2luZXNzL2FyY2hpdmUvMjAxNy8xMC90aGUtb2R5c3NleS1tZW50b3JzaGlwLzU0MjY3Ni8= ), where the goddess Athena disguises herself as 'Mentor' to guide Odysseus’s punk son, Telemachus, away from bad choices. Mentorship, back then, wasn’t about career advice — it was about instilling “menos,” or mental strength. (Telemachus, like any moody teenager, was “nēpios” or disconnected. The mentor's job, then, is to reconnect a protégé intellectually, morally and emotionally to their purpose in life.) And mentorship — whether at work or amid teenaged ennui — works! In one study of PhD students, researchers found the impact of having a strong mentor wasn't much visible during school, but once those protégés graduated, they were significantly more likely to find great jobs, be more creative and mentor students ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/e0hph7h7o0xo4xf8/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZWRpcmVjdC5jb20vc2NpZW5jZS9hcnRpY2xlL3BpaS9TMDA0ODczMzMyMTAwMjQzMg== ) of their own. (And employees with mentors at work are five times more likely ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/z2hghnhex3gx0kcp/aHR0cHM6Ly9oYnIub3JnLzIwMjUvMDMveW91LWRvbnQtbmVlZC1hLW1lbnRvci10by1nZXQtdGhlLWNhcmVlci1hZHZpY2UteW91LW5lZWQ= ) to get promoted.) There are lots of famous mentor/mentee relationships ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/e0hph7h7o0xo5ns8/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudG9nZXRoZXJwbGF0Zm9ybS5jb20vYmxvZy9ub3RhYmxlLW1lbnRvcnMtYW5kLWluZm9ybWFsLW1lbnRvcnNoaXBz ): Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/owhkhqhwdrzd5riv/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuaW5jLmNvbS9pbGFuLW1vY2hhcmkvdmlzaXQtaW5kaWEtY3JlYXRpdml0eS5odG1s ), as well as Steven Spielberg and J.J. Abrams ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/x0hph6he0wg0x3c5/aHR0cHM6Ly9mb3J3YXJkLmNvbS9jdWx0dXJlLzQ3OTcxMC9zdGV2ZW4tc3BpZWxiZXJnLWpvZS1kYW50ZS1jaHJpcy1jb2x1bWJ1cy1oYXJyeS1wb3R0ZXItbWVudG9yLw== ) (even Ray Dalio and P. Diddy ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/58hvh7hg2me2lqb6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuY25iYy5jb20vMjAyMS8xMC8wNS9yYXktZGFsaW8tb24tYmVjb21pbmctc2Vhbi1kaWRkeS1jb21icy1idXNpbmVzcy1jb2FjaC5odG1s )). Einstein was pretty smart, but he also needed a mentor ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/g3hnh5hmw3vwx5ur/aHR0cHM6Ly90aW1lLmNvbS9hcmNoaXZlLzY2ODA2MjkvZWluc3RlaW4tZmFpdGgv ). The best mentorships, studies say, aren't just about making introductions or giving advice. Rather, the best mentors provide scaffolding ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/3ohphkh3g7wgveur/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM0OTk1MTIyLw== ): they demonstrate how to set realistic goals, they celebrate small wins and offer support after setbacks, they model how to be more ambitious and push yourself farther. One critical element: The best mentorships usually, sometime in the first six months, explicitly set out expectations — what each person will do, how often you'll meet, what success looks like — and they periodically revisit those expectations. After dark it becomes a kissing booth, which gets kind of awkward. Sounds great. But how do I find a mentor or a protégé? ------------------------------------------------------ To find a mentor: Obviously, bosses, professors and successful friends-of-your-parents are a great place to start. But the most powerful mentors often come from 'loose ties' ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/z2hghnhex3gx0kcp/aHR0cHM6Ly9oYnIub3JnLzIwMjUvMDMveW91LWRvbnQtbmVlZC1hLW1lbnRvci10by1nZXQtdGhlLWNhcmVlci1hZHZpY2UteW91LW5lZWQ= ): friends-of-friends, people we randomly meet at a conference, someone we email on a whim. Why? Because they tend to have access to networks and opportunities we're not even aware of. (So start lurking on LinkedIn and reviewing membership directories of professional organizations.) If you're hoping someone will mentor you start with a small request ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/reh8hohmz08zn8a2/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZXZpZGVuY2ViYXNlZG1lbnRvcmluZy5vcmcvd2hhdHMtdGhlLXJpZ2h0LXdheS10by1maW5kLWEtbWVudG9yLw== ). One paper found the most successful mentor solicitations ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/8ghqhohonl4nw0uk/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM4NDkwNDg5Lw== ) involve: (1) identifying your goals before asking for a meeting; (2) building a team rather than a single advisor (a career mentor, a technical mentor, a peer mentor, etc.); (3) initiating the request with a short, specific ask ("30 minutes, here's the problem I'm working on, I think your perspective on X would help"); (4) treat mentoring as reciprocal — bring energy, follow through, report back — and explain why you admire them and what you hope to learn from them. And don't get discouraged if someone passes. To find a protégé: Don't begin with a big formal “I want to mentor you” conversation — rather, begin by noticing, checking in, and offering help ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/l2hehmhl73g7q4f6/aHR0cHM6Ly9oYnIub3JnLzIwMTgvMDkvaG93LXRvLWhlbHAtYS1jb2xsZWFndWUtd2hvLXNlZW1zLW9mZi10aGVpci1nYW1l ), and let the relationship grow. When choosing someone to mentor, focus on value alignment, rather than similarities: One big study ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/dpheh0hen03ndmcm/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubGlmZXNjaWVkLm9yZy9kb2kvMTAuMTE4Ny9jYmUuMjMtMDUtMDA3MA== ) found no support for the assumption that shared gender, race, or ethnicity predicts mentorship quality; what predicted quality was shared attitudes, beliefs, and values. And once you become a mentor, read this survey of mentorship tactics among senior scientists ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/7qh7h8h95og5d0az/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmF0dXJlLmNvbS9hcnRpY2xlcy80NDc3OTFh ) that offers concrete tips: Be available (the number one complaint mentees raise); be an active listener — ask questions rather than deliver monologues; set clear expectations in writing; give honest, specific feedback early; be patient with pace; celebrate successes; let go when the mentee is ready. Lastly, remember that this relationship should be mutually beneficial ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/p8heh9h4ozvorgbq/aHR0cHM6Ly9oYnIub3JnLzIwMjIvMDEvdGhlLWJlc3QtbWVudG9yc2hpcHMtaGVscC1ib3RoLXBlb3BsZS1ncm93I3NlbGVjdGlvbi0xMDUzLjUtMTU3NS4xODE= ). Strong mentorships grow from reciprocity, so even early on, everyone should be thinking about how both people can provide value — whether by bringing ideas, perspectives, or interesting discussions to the relationship — rather than the protégé being solely a recipient, and the mentor nothing but an oracle. If not for Dr. Demento's mentorship of Weird Al, the world would be a poorer place. But there are some mentorships that get crazy, right? ----------------------------------------------------- Oh, yeah, there are some weird mentorships. One study ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/6qheh8hle7qex0fo/aHR0cHM6Ly9wc3ljbmV0LmFwYS5vcmcvcmVjb3JkLzIwMDAtMDUwNzUtMDAx ) found that more than 50% of mentees report having a "negative mentoring experience". Other research ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/58hvh7hg2me23qa6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYWNhZGVtaWEuZWR1LzI1MDUxNDM3L1RveGljX01lbnRvcnNfb3JfVG94aWNfUHJvdGVnZXNfQV9Dcml0aWNhbF9SZV9FeGFtaW5hdGlvbl9vZl9EeXNmdW5jdGlvbmFsX01lbnRvcmluZw== ) has documented mentorships that tip into bullying, sabotage, and — in a surprisingly non-trivial number of cases — stalking. So, that's something to avoid. Some other odd mentorships: In 1999 Jack Welch paired 500 GE senior executives ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/qvh8h7hdprxpepbl/aHR0cHM6Ly9lbXBsb3ltZW50aGVyby5jb20vc2cvYmxvZy9yZXZlcnNlLW1lbnRvcmluZy1wcm9ncmFtbWUv ) with 20-something employees to teach them the internet (the LOLz were ... not very LOL). During World War II, John von Neumann mentored a generation of American physicists, including some — like Klaus Fuchs ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/9qhzhnhdrp7r4vu9/aHR0cHM6Ly9ibG9nLm51Y2xlYXJzZWNyZWN5LmNvbS8yMDEzLzA4LzIzL3RoZS1zcHktdGhlLWh1bWFuLWNvbXB1dGVyLWFuZC10aGUtaC1ib21iLw== ) — who were simultaneously spying for the Soviets. Warren Buffett has said one of his most important mentors was Philip Fisher ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/3ohphkh3g7wgxear/aHR0cHM6Ly9lbi53aWtpcGVkaWEub3JnL3dpa2kvUGhpbGlwX0FydGh1cl9GaXNoZXI= ), whom he met only a handful of times, and his partner Charlie Munger's father, whom he never met at all. In 1909, leaders of the Theosophical Society began mentoring a child named Jiddu Krishnamurti ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/n2hohvhv03d027c6/aHR0cHM6Ly9rZm91bmRhdGlvbi5vcmcv ) and eventually declared him the messiah. (Krishnamurti, unimpressed, dissolved the Society once he was its leader.) That said, there's also heartwarming mentorships: Older meerkats mentor pups by disabling scorpions and then presenting them to pups to practice on. (Which is nice for the meerkats, but less nice for the scorpions.) And Mr. Rogers received thousands of letters from children and adults who described him as their mentor. He answered almost every one personally (often 50 to 100 letters a day! ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/48hvhehm8ro8w7ix/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVkZGl0LmNvbS9yL3RvZGF5aWxlYXJuZWQvY29tbWVudHMvYXp0emVuL3RpbF90aGF0X21yX3JvZ2Vyc19yZXNwb25kZWRfdG9fZXZlcnlfZmFuX2xldHRlci8= )). After his death, Fred Rogers Productions continued the correspondence using Fred's own letter templates, making him a mentor from the great beyond. ​ Do you have a mentor? Or a protégé? Who has made a difference in your life — and how did you thank them? Let us know in the comments ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/wnh2hghq6wz6mdu7/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9pLzE5NTI0MDcxMS93ZXJlLXlvdS1mb3J3YXJkZWQtdGhpcy1tZXNzYWdlLXNpZ24tdXAtZm9yLW15LW5ld3NsZXR0ZXI= )! Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/08hwh9h2rd8rz5sl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) ----------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/reh8hohmz08zk8t2/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9yZXZpZXcvY3JlYXRlLXJldmlldy8_Y2hhbm5lbD1nbGFuY2UtZGV0YWlsJmFzaW49MDU5MzI0MzkxOQ== ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm )​ ​

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/7qh7h8h9lev8rkuz/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more ***************************************************************** So what should I do with all these walls? (And cabinets. And clutter. And my bedroom. And ...) ***************************************************************** How do I make my bedroom more relaxing? What's the best 'signature scent' for a house? (What?) Are you sure boxes of comic books and report cards from my childhood count as 'clutter'? Science has some answers on how to make your living space look like you belong in a fancy magazine. The funny thing about this house is the people who live inside are colorblind. I want my home to look awesome. What should I know? --------------------------------------------------- If you're home is a little cramped, it's helpful to use “optical design illusions” ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/owhkhqhw9e3n26sv/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cud2FzaGluZ3RvbnBvc3QuY29tL2hvbWUvMjAyMy8wMi8wNy9tYWtlLXNtYWxsLXJvb20tYXBwZWFyLWxhcmdlci8= ): If you paint the walls, trim and ceiling the same color, it makes the room feel bigger. So do reflective surfaces (mirrors, glossy finishes, shiny tile) that bounce around light. Furniture with visible legs make a room feel more open and, paradoxically, a sofa or chair that isn't pushed against the wall makes a space feel more expansive. When it comes to decorating, pay attention to 'layering' your lighting ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/z2hghnhe6z97q7bp/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudGhlc3BydWNlLmNvbS9ob3ctZGVzaWduZXJzLW1ha2UtYmVkcm9vbXMtZmVlbC1leHBlbnNpdmUtMTE4NzAyNDI= ): Instead of relying on a single overhead fixture, designers aim for at least four light sources, which creates a sense of depth and multiple focal points. (One study found that six light sources, each aimed in a different direction, convinced people that a room was 20% larger.) In your bedroom, for instance, keep the overhead light fixture — but then add lights on either side of the bed that aim up and down, and another across the room at eye level. Voila: the room feels elevated and cozy. The color of the light also matters: cool-white lightbulbs suppress melatonin ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/p8heh9h46ekdn5hq/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUMxMjgyNzk1My8= ), while warmer bulbs help you fade into sleep. Finally, think about scents: Research shows a room's smell ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/x0hph6he2m8z5lu5/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVzZWFyY2hnYXRlLm5ldC9wdWJsaWNhdGlvbi8yODEzMTY5MzJfRWZmZWN0X29mX1NtZWxsX2luX1NwYWNlX1BlcmNlcHRpb24= ) dramatically affects how large it feels. Fresh, light scents (citrus, pine) make spaces feel open; heavy scents make the walls press in. Hotels have exploited this for decades. (And hospitals often smell like vanilla ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/6qheh8hlr4vwm2so/aHR0cHM6Ly9wdWJtZWQubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi8xNjA5NTYzOS8= ) because Memorial Sloan Kettering found it reduced patient anxiety by 63% during MRI scans.) All that said, the best scent for sleeping, it turns out, is something infused with the smell of your romantic partner ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/kkhmh6hnwpgek8cl/aHR0cHM6Ly9qb3VybmFscy5zYWdlcHViLmNvbS9kb2kvYWJzLzEwLjExNzcvMDk1Njc5NzYyMDkwNTYxNQ== ). So grab their old t-shirt before getting in bed. Go ahead. Spill something. No one will ever notice. Okay, but I've got all this clutter! How do I get rid of all this stuff? ----------------------------------------------------------------- Clutter is in the eye of the beholder (why would I toss this broken mug I once loved in college?). But the costs are real: A UCLA study found that the more cluttered a home, the higher the cortisol levels ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/58hvh7hgxwp0rmc6/aHR0cHM6Ly9uZXdzcm9vbS51Y2xhLmVkdS9tYWdhemluZS9jZW50ZXItZXZlcnlkYXktbGl2ZXMtZmFtaWxpZXMtc3VidXJiYW4tYW1lcmljYQ== ) of the people living there. (This effect was particularly strong among women, and weaker in men, which is why he keeps taking that mug out of the trash.) Clutter accumulates because we're prone to the "endowment effect ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/25h2hoh39xrgk3s3/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmJlci5vcmcvc3lzdGVtL2ZpbGVzL3dvcmtpbmdfcGFwZXJzL3cxOTM4NC93MTkzODQucGRm )": once we own something, we irrational overvalue it. And we often fall prey to the "just in case illusion ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/qvh8h7hdw3gv9oil/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmV3eW9ya2VyLmNvbS9tYWdhemluZS8yMDIyLzAyLzI4L2EtZ3VpZGUtdG8tZ2V0dGluZy1yaWQtb2YtYWxtb3N0LWV2ZXJ5dGhpbmctZGVjbHV0dGVyaW5n )" — studies show we overestimate how often we'll use an item in the future while, in reality, most things kept for this reason are never touched again. One solution is changing your mindset ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/g3hnh5hm927n4phr/aHR0cHM6Ly9ub3VyaXNoaW5nbWluaW1hbGlzbS5jb20vbG92ZS1pdC1kZWNsdXR0ZXJpbmcv ). Instead of asking yourself a guilt-filled question like "what can I get rid of?" (if I throw away this 12-year-old lump of clay, do I really love my children?) instead ask "what do I enjoy enough to keep?" And then, there's the 'container method ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/9qhzhnhdw8kxont9/aHR0cHM6Ly9iYWxhbmNldGhyb3VnaHNpbXBsaWNpdHkuY29tL2NvbnRhaW5lci1jb25jZXB0Lw== )': Choose a box or a shelf, fill it with your kid's artwork or vacation souvenirs, and toss anything that doesn't fit. Easy peasy. (Another favorite is the 'would you clean poop off this item to keep it? ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/3ohphkh3m86rexur/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudGhlZ3VhcmRpYW4uY29tL2xpZmVhbmRzdHlsZS8yMDI1L21heS8yNi90aGUtcG9vcC1ydWxlLWlzLXRoaXMtdGhlLW1vc3QtZGlzZ3VzdGluZy1kZWNsdXR0ZXJpbmctbWV0aG9kLWV2ZXI= )' test, which is surprisingly effective.) You gotta wonder what they were hoping for with this design. Let's talk about my office. What interior design tricks will make me more productive, successful and wealthy? ----------------------------------------------------------------- That's kind of a high bar, but there's some stuff that will help you get your work done. First, put your desk as close to a window as possible. Studies show ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/n2hohvhvq4wgzmi6/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM2NzUxMDcxLw== ) workers with access to natural light experience less daytime sleepiness, higher alertness and more creative problem solving. Also, temperature matters more than you realize. A meta-analysis of 35 studies ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/48hvhehml3z94ltx/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZWRpcmVjdC5jb20vc2NpZW5jZS9hcnRpY2xlL3BpaS9TMDM2MDEzMjMyMTAwNDM5WA== ) found that temperatures above 77° Fahrenheit, after just an hour, consistently make us slower, and hurt accuracy on cognitively demanding tasks. Another study found ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/wnh2hghq7d94e6b7/aHR0cHM6Ly9qb3VybmFscy5wbG9zLm9yZy9wbG9zb25lL2FydGljbGU_aWQ9MTAuMTM3MSUyRmpvdXJuYWwucG9uZS4wMjE2MzYy ) that women tend to perform better on verbal and math tasks at higher temperatures, while men perform better in cooler environments. Last of all, personalize your work space. When the University of Exeter ran experiments comparing "minimalist" offices with "enriched" spaces (filled with plants and artwork), they found people in enriched offices were 17% more productive. But the biggest productivity boost ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/reh8hohmdp97grs2/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZWRhaWx5LmNvbS9yZWxlYXNlcy8yMDEwLzA5LzEwMDkwNzEwNDAzNS5odG0= ) was among workers who were free to design their spaces however they liked: That autonomy made them 32% more productive, with no increase in errors. (There were, however, an increase in disturbing bobble heads on desks.) Finally, if you are looking for cool stuff to put on your own desk, I have one recommendation: The 2026 Japanese Stationary Store Awards ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/08hwh9h2e40x36al/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudG9reW93ZWVrZW5kZXIuY29tL2FydF9hbmRfY3VsdHVyZS9kZXNpZ24vdGhlLWJlc3QtamFwYW5lc2Utc3RhdGlvbmVyeS0yMDI2LWFsbC1zdGF0aW9uZXJ5LXN0b3JlLWF3YXJkLXdpbm5lcnMv ). (My favorite is the Sonic Digitox Smartphone Time Lock Case ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/8ghqhohod8e3mmuk/aHR0cHM6Ly9qYXBhbndpdGhsb3Zlc3RvcmUuY29tL3Byb2R1Y3RzL3NvbmljLWRpZ2l0b3gtcGluay1yb3V0aW5lLXRpbWUtbG9jay1lbmNsb3N1cmUtZm9yLXBob25lcw== ).) What's your favorite piece of furniture? How did you buy your last piece of art? Let us know in the comments ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/vqh3hrho0624zwig/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9pLzE5MzgzOTMwNy93ZXJlLXlvdS1mb3J3YXJkZWQtdGhpcy1tZXNzYWdlLXNpZ24tdXAtZm9yLW15LW5ld3NsZXR0ZXI= )! Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/7qh7h8h9lev8rkuz/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) ----------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/l2hehmhl2p548df6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9yZXZpZXcvY3JlYXRlLXJldmlldy8_Y2hhbm5lbD1nbGFuY2UtZGV0YWlsJmFzaW49MDU5MzI0MzkxOQ== ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9 ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9 )​ ​

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/g3hnh5hm9ppp7rbr/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more ******************************* Rizzzzz it up like a scientist! ******************************* What is charisma? Why do some people seem to have it while others, not so much? What can I do to become more charismatic? And is it possible to impress my kids with my rizz? (Spoiler alert: No.) Dalton's got that 3rd grade rizz. What is charisma? And how do I get it? -------------------------------------- Charisma comes from the Greek kharisma, meaning “divine gift,” which is indicative of how it was seen ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/n2hohvhvqrrrwpt6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZXR5bW9ubGluZS5jb20vd29yZC9jaGFyaXNtYQ== )for most of history: A spiritual gift or power granted by God. Today, of course, we know charisma is a learnable skill — anyone can become more charismatic. And everyone from the CIA ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/vqh3hrho0ggg25ig/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZnQuY29tL2NvbnRlbnQvZGQ0ZjNjOTAtMzIxMy00NjlkLTkyNmYtZmE5MzU0YmYyYTdi ) to Harvard Business School ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/z2hghnhe6www4dfp/aHR0cHM6Ly9oYnIub3JnLzIwMTIvMDYvbGVhcm5pbmctY2hhcmlzbWEtMg== ) to The Atlantic ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/kkhmh6hnwmmmd6fl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudGhlYXRsYW50aWMuY29tL2lkZWFzL2FyY2hpdmUvMjAyNS8wNy9jdWx0aXZhdGUtY2hhcmlzbWEtaGFwcGluZXNzLzY4MzUzMy8= ) magazine has explored the formula for 'rizz' ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/qvh8h7hdwnnn7ebl/aHR0cHM6Ly9jb3JwLm91cC5jb20vbmV3cy9yaXp6LWNyb3duZWQtb3hmb3JkLXdvcmQtb2YtdGhlLXllYXItMjAyMy8= ). Researchers say charisma has three pillars ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/9qhzhnhdw999qwu9/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAxOS8wOC8xNS9zbWFydGVyLWxpdmluZy93aGF0LW1ha2VzLXBlb3BsZS1jaGFyaXNtYXRpYy1hbmQtaG93LXlvdS1jYW4tYmUtdG9vLmh0bWw= ): Presence, Power, and Warmth. Presence is being fully engaged with another person (charismatic people tend to ask more questions). Power is confidence without obvious self-doubt (which is often conveyed, paradoxically, through self-effacing jokes and vulnerable disclosures). Warmth comes from showing kindness and acceptance (demonstrating empathy, in particular, is critical). Most of all, charismatic people tend to communicate in ways that feel emotional, clear, and grounded in values, not just facts. How we talk also matters: Prosody — the musical aspects of speech's rhythm, emphasis, and timing — are small, almost unconscious signals that listeners use ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/48hvhehmlggg5dhx/aHR0cHM6Ly9rYXJvbGludW0uY3ovZGF0YS9jbGFuZWsvNzI0My9QaGlsXzIwMTlfMl8wMDI3LnBkZg== ) to infer confidence, passion and competence. The key is variety: when our voice moves up and down an octave scale (what's known as 'the fundamental frequency ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/8ghqhohod99908uk/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmJjLmNvbS9uZXdzL3NjaWVuY2UtZW52aXJvbm1lbnQtMjk4MDA4OTM= )'), and when the pace of our words, as well as our volume, changes as we speak, others see us as worth listening to. It's important to remember, however, that charisma has a curvilinear effect ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/kkhmh6hnwmmmd6fl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudGhlYXRsYW50aWMuY29tL2lkZWFzL2FyY2hpdmUvMjAyNS8wNy9jdWx0aXZhdGUtY2hhcmlzbWEtaGFwcGluZXNzLzY4MzUzMy8= ): it helps to a point, and then starts to backfire. Among leaders, no more than 60 percent of conversations should be 'charismatic'. Beyond that, the leader starts to seem less trustworthy or less competent. If you want videos of charisma on display, some of the best examples are street performers ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/m2h7h5h35eeeqgtm/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVkZGl0LmNvbS9yL3ZpZGVvcy9jb21tZW50cy9waWJ4MTMvdGhlX21vc3RfY2hhcmlzbWF0aWNfc3RyZWV0X3BlcmZvcm1lcl9pdmVfZXZlci8= ), magicians ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/e0hph7h7v444leu8/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vd2F0Y2g_dj1BNFhKUVpDQ3FKMA== ), preachers ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/z2hghnhe6wwwkdtp/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vd2F0Y2g_dj1SNXZUbUlWUmdCSQ== ) and politicians (including Ronald Reagan ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/6qheh8hlrooo5lho/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vd2F0Y2g_dj1BNURITFRTSlB1MA== ) and John F. Kennedy ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/25h2hoh39ddd8ns3/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZmFjZWJvb2suY29tL3dhdGNoLz92PTE0MzcxMDEyOTgxNTk5ODM= )). He knows the precise formula for rizz. Will charisma help my love life? And make me more popular? What, specifically, should I do? ----------------------------------------------------------------- Often times, particularly in affairs of the heart, charisma means similarity. ​One study ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/g3hnh5hm9ppplrir/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmF0dXJlLmNvbS9hcnRpY2xlcy9zNDE1NjItMDIxLTAxMTk3LTM= ) looked at couples meeting for the first time and found the more people mirrored each other's body language, energy and focus ("You love puppies? So do I!"), the more they rated each other as sexually attractive. (Simply swaying your body ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/3ohphkh3mzzz2gur/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM3ODEyNjMwLw== ) similarly can boost allure.) Studies show we tend to be drawn to "super-synchronizers ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/n2hohvhvqrrrxpf6/aHR0cHM6Ly9iaWd0aGluay5jb20vbmV1cm9wc3ljaC9maXJzdC1kYXRlLXJlbGF0aW9uc2hpcC8= )": People who demonstrate they are in-sync with our emotions and interests by asking follow-up questions, reflecting back the feelings they hear ("that sounds really hard") and echoing our smiles, gestures and facial expressions. So, if your date tells a joke, say something funny yourself ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/48hvhehmlgggpdix/aHR0cHM6Ly9wdWJtZWQubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi8zNzgzNzMwMS8= ). (Spontaneous humor is particularly important because it signals alluring traits like creativity and mental agility.) If your date says something emotional, respond with a disclosure of your own. (This is known as reciprocal vulnerability ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/wnh2hghq7gggkeb7/aHR0cHM6Ly9ub21hZGl0LmNvLnVrL2NvbmZlcmVuY2UvYXNhMjAyNS9wYXBlci84ODE2Nw== ), and it's at the core of how we build trust.) In other words, stereotypical "charisma" — clever lines, dazzling confidence, practiced charm — doesn't predict romantic attachment. Rather, showing you are attuned to another person, responding to their signals and genuinely caring about their experiences creates attraction ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/reh8hohmdxxx36t2/aHR0cHM6Ly9wc3ljbmV0LmFwYS5vcmcvcmVjb3JkLzIwMjEtODc2MDUtMDAx ), both during a date and in long-term relationships ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/reh8hohmdxxx36t2/aHR0cHM6Ly9wc3ljbmV0LmFwYS5vcmcvcmVjb3JkLzIwMjEtODc2MDUtMDAx ). (This kind of charisma is highly associated with better sex lives ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/08hwh9h2ezzz9pfl/aHR0cHM6Ly9wdWJtZWQubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi8zNDUzNTgzOC8= ) in marriages.) The same skills also work on our friends. Studies show that our most 'charismatic' friendships ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/l2hehmhl2rrr45s6/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM0NDcwMzgxLw== ) are with people who engage in reciprocal candor, are enthusiastic to discuss mutual interests, and are funny. We're most likely to be drawn to people ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/qvh8h7hdwnnnveil/aHR0cHM6Ly9wdWJtZWQubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi8yODg1MTgzNS8= ) who are emotional expressive, show genuine warmth (which earns trust and makes people feel safe), and exude positive energy. "Most Likely To Succeed" is a tough award when the other recipient is Kobe Bryant. Okay, but what about at work? How do I make my emails more persuasive? How should I rizz up meetings? ----------------------------------------------------------------- ​Pay attention to spam ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/g3hnh5hm9pppnrtr/aHR0cHM6Ly9jb252ZXJzaW9uLmNvbS9ibG9nL21pbmUtc3BhbS1lbWFpbC1mdWxsLXRpcHMtcGVyc3Vhc2l2ZS8= ). Researchers say the most persuasive and charismatic emails rely on four tactics: First, they personalize the sender by emphasizing that you are a real person ("I had an idea while eating breakfast this morning"). Next, they are personalized for the recipient by mentioning shared concerns or memories. Third, they ask a question fairly early, which draws readers in. Lastly, it creates urgency. In spam, this means clichés like "Hurry!" or "Time is running out!" But in a personal email, urgency might be something like "I was hoping to get an answer by later today." And persuasive emails are brief. Limiting a message to just 25 to 50 words ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/9qhzhnhdw999xwt9/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1lcmljYW5leHByZXNzLmNvbS9lbi11cy9idXNpbmVzcy90cmVuZHMtYW5kLWluc2lnaHRzL2FydGljbGVzL2hvdy10by13cml0ZS1lbWFpbHMtdGhhdC1sZWFkLXRvLXllcy8= ) increases reply rates by up to 65%. When it comes to meetings, studies show that most influence doesn't occur during the gathering itself, but rather emerges before anyone enters the room. One researcher found ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/3ohphkh3mzzzrgar/aHR0cHM6Ly9oYnIub3JnL3BvZGNhc3QvMjAyNC8wMy9ob3ctdG8tYmVjb21lLW1vcmUtcGVyc3Vhc2l2ZS1hdC13b3Jr ) that the most persuasive and charismatic executives always seem to know, before a meeting starts, who will support them, who might object, and what concerns need to be addressed ahead of time, usually because they have back-channeled with attendees one-on-one. (In Japan, executives are evaluated on their "nemawashi ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/n2hohvhvqrrrgph6/aHR0cHM6Ly9tZWRpdW0uY29tL0B6b2VjaGFuY2UvbmVtYXdhc2hpLXRoZS1zZWNyZXQtdG8tcGVyc3Vhc2lvbi1hdC1ncm91cC1tZWV0aW5ncy02ZDBjYmVlN2U2MTU= )", or “cultivating the roots,” the habit of talking to peers before a meeting and categorizing people as decision-makers, likely skeptics, or potential allies.) When it comes to public speaking, it's worth remembering that charisma on a stage often comes from leaning into your natural instincts ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.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 ). Introverts are more persuasive when their speeches focus on thoughtfulness, depth, preparation, and genuine connection. Extroverts are more charismatic when they are energetic and entertaining. If you're nervous about speaking, ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/wnh2hghq7ggg4ec7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVkZGl0LmNvbS9yL2xpZmVoYWNrcy9jb21tZW50cy8xa2I1M2kzL2FueV90aXBzX2Zvcl9wdWJsaWNfc3BlYWtpbmdfdXJnZW50X2FueV9hZHZpY2VfaXMv )the best way to prepare is to memorize your opening ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/reh8hohmdxxx76u2/aHR0cHM6Ly9oYnIub3JnLzIwMjQvMTIvbmVydm91cy1hYm91dC1wdWJsaWMtc3BlYWtpbmctaGVyZXMtaG93LXRvLXVzZS1ub3Rlcy1saWtlLWEtcHJv ), choose at least one story you want to tell, and practice pausing mid-sentence, which helps when you need a moment to think about what to say next. What makes you most charismatic friends so likable? Let me know in the comments ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/08hwh9h2ezzzxpul/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9pLzE5MjI2NDM2Ny93aGF0LW1ha2VzLXlvdS1tb3N0LWNoYXJpc21hdGljLWZyaWVuZHMtc28tbGlrYWJsZS1sZXQtbWUta25vdy1pbi10aGUtY29tbWVudHM= )! Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/g3hnh5hm9ppp7rbr/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) ----------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/8ghqhohod99938tk/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9yZXZpZXcvY3JlYXRlLXJldmlldy8_YXNpbj0wNTkzMjQzOTE5JmNoYW5uZWw9Z2xhbmNlLWRldGFpbA== ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804 ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804 )​ ​

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/wnh2hghq79zvk6b7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more **************************** Science wants you to be rich **************************** Lemme guess: Talking about money stresses you out, right? Don't worry — research has got you covered. Scientists love studying the Benjamins. If you want more money, pay more attention to money --------------------------------------------------- I love talking about money — in part because talking about money means I'm thinking about money. And I get better at the things I think about. (And worse at things I avoid.) ​One meta-study found ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/reh8hohmd98v3ru2/aHR0cHM6Ly9qb3VybmFscy5wbG9zLm9yZy9wbG9zb25lL2FydGljbGU_aWQ9MTAuMTM3MSUyRmpvdXJuYWwucG9uZS4wMjUzOTM4 ) that nudging yourself to think about money — simply, say, tracking spending and bank balances each week — significantly reduces spending and increases savings. (Why? Because if you're interacting with the numbers, it's impossible not to see the trends.) Luckily, there's lots of ways to track money. I use Simplifi ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/08hwh9h2e08w96fl/aHR0cHM6Ly9zaW1wbGlmaS5xdWlja2VuLmNvbS8= ) ($72/yr) to pull my bank balances and credit card transactions into one place. Other options include Tiller ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/8ghqhohode4p2mtk/aHR0cHM6Ly90aWxsZXIuY29tLw== ) ($79/yr - here's a helpful video ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/l2hehmhl25gvndh6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vd2F0Y2g_dj1JTEhRckowelIzVQ== )), Monarch Money ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/m2h7h5h35kr0qxam/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubW9uYXJjaC5jb20v ) ($100/yr) and Copilot Money ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/dpheh0he6z3wo3tm/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuY29waWxvdC5tb25leS8= ) ($95/yr). (RIP Mint.) But an app isn't enough. You need something that pushes you to interact with your finances. (I have a spreadsheet I update by hand every week. There's a simplified version you can copy here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/e0hph7h7v9xwe9a8/aHR0cHM6Ly9kb2NzLmdvb2dsZS5jb20vc3ByZWFkc2hlZXRzL2QvMUFscWpVdlRaSHZZNFlZSVkzeVlLaHFHeWNJT3hyT2hpU0VoTmFhTUpHVWcvZWRpdD91c3A9c2hhcmluZw== ).) The key is to play with the data — type in figures, look at the totals, tell yourself a story about what happened. Messy and noticed is better than clean and ignored. (This is known as 'creating data disfluency ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/7qh7h8h9lvgp8ktz/aHR0cHM6Ly9qb3VybmFscy5zYWdlcHViLmNvbS9kb2kvYWJzLzEwLjExNzcvMDk2MzcyMTQxMzQ5ODg5NA== )'.) I need a budget, right? ----------------------- Yes — but your budget doesn't need to be particularly accurate at first. Budgets are important because they prompt us to make decisions in advance (when it's easier to make the right choice), and to see if we're succeeding or falling behind in our goals. (They also make us less anxious ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/owhkhqhw93zln6tv/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVzZWFyY2hnYXRlLm5ldC9wdWJsaWNhdGlvbi8zOTgxMTI1NDNfVGhlX0ltcGFjdF9vZl9QZXJzb25hbF9CdWRnZXRpbmdfU2tpbGxzX29uX0NvbGxlZ2VfU3R1ZGVudHMnX0ZpbmFuY2lhbF9TdGFiaWxpdHk= ).) The best budgets are perpetual works-in-progress: One study ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/z2hghnhe69gr77fp/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZW1wb3dlci5jb20vdGhlLWN1cnJlbmN5L21vbmV5L3Bvd2VyLWFtYml0aW91cy1idWRnZXRpbmctbmV3cw== ) of 350 million transactions found that people who set unrealistic budgets still spent 22% less than people with no budget at all. There's lots of easy systems ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/p8heh9h46kv5d5uq/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZnQuY29tL2NvbnRlbnQvZTkyM2E4ZTctZjM0ZC00ODYzLWIyNGEtNmEwMjg1OTY2NTg4 ) for setting a budget: The 50/30/20 Rule devotes roughly half your monthly income toward essentials like rent and food, 30% for fun, and 20% toward savings. The Envelope System consists of putting some cash in multiple envelopes on the first of the month (rent, food, drinks with friends) — and when the envelope is empty, you know you need to stop. (You can also do this with multiple bank accounts.) Or, there are online resources. Google Sheets has a monthly budget template ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/x0hph6he28gdzlc5/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZm9vbC5jb20vbW9uZXkvYmFua3MvYXJ0aWNsZXMvbWFzdGVyLXlvdXItbW9uZXktaG93LWdvb2dsZS1zaGVldHMtY2FuLWhlbHAteW91LWJ1aWxkLXRoZS1wZXJmZWN0LWJ1ZGdldC8= ). There's a bunch of other useful templates here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/6qheh8hlrvq6w2so/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVkZGl0LmNvbS9yL3BlcnNvbmFsZmluYW5jZS9jb21tZW50cy9ib3phMGcvaV9tYWRlX2Ffc3ByZWFkc2hlZXRfZm9yX3Blb3BsZV93aG9fZG9udF9rbm93X2hvdy8= ). All those apps I mentioned can create and track budgets. And if you are looking for advice on how to start, I recommend spending some time on Reddit ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/6qheh8hlrvq6w2so/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVkZGl0LmNvbS9yL3BlcnNvbmFsZmluYW5jZS9jb21tZW50cy9ib3phMGcvaV9tYWRlX2Ffc3ByZWFkc2hlZXRfZm9yX3Blb3BsZV93aG9fZG9udF9rbm93X2hvdy8= ). (The first comment is particularly helpful.) But what's most important isn't creating the perfect budget. Rather, you should be interacting with your imperfect, work-in-progress budget, and your behavior will start to change. But there's shortcuts, right? I got an email saying if I buy crypto/gold/weird financial options/AI stocks/girl scout cookies RIGHT NOW! I can double my money. ----------------------------------------------------------------- I think you already know the answer to this question. That said, there are some tips that are useful: * You almost certainly have zombie subscriptions. Subee ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/kkhmh6hnwg72e8hl/aHR0cHM6Ly9zdWJlZS5hcHAv ) is a good way to identify them ($79/yr). The best strategy, however, is downloading all your credit card transactions, sorting by payee, and looking for what (sneakily) repeats each month. * HAVE A MONEY FRIEND. Choose someone to talk about money with every week. Then be honest with them. You'll feel less anxious ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/58hvh7hgxpeo0ma6/aHR0cHM6Ly9uZXdzLmNvcm5lbGwuZWR1L3N0b3JpZXMvMjAyNS8wNy9tb25leS10YWxrcy1ob3ctb3BlbmluZy1jYW4tZWFzZS1maW5hbmNpYWwtc3RyZXNz ) and save more ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/25h2hoh39r50g3h3/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuaGJzLmVkdS9yaXMvUHVibGljYXRpb24lMjBGaWxlcy8xMi0wNjBfOGMxNmY1ZTctNmZhMS00OGNjLTg1OGQtYmJhNWYxMmMyOGJhLnBkZg== ). * Make saving into a game: The 100 envelope challenge ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/qvh8h7hdwgx2voil/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZmlkZWxpdHkuY29tL2xlYXJuaW5nLWNlbnRlci9zbWFydC1tb25leS8xMDAtZW52ZWxvcGUtY2hhbGxlbmdl ) will net you $5,050 in 100 days. * Read random reddit posts ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/g3hnh5hm97vonpur/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVkZGl0LmNvbS9yL3BlcnNvbmFsZmluYW5jZS8= ) (and newsletters) about money. Studies show that financially literate people accumulate significantly more wealth ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/9qhzhnhdwk73xnt9/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmJlci5vcmcvc3lzdGVtL2ZpbGVzL3dvcmtpbmdfcGFwZXJzL3cxNjQ1Mi93MTY0NTIucGRm ) — and literacy comes from reading and trying stuff. (It's okay to ask dumb questions.) * Before any big purchase, make yourself wait 24 hours. You'll be surprised how easy it is to forget about the purchase. (And by the same token: decide in the morning, when temptations and hunger aren't present, what you'll buy for lunch and dinner.) * Don't invest in anything you have learned about on TikTok, YouTube or most of Reddit ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/3ohphkh3m6w9rxtr/aHR0cHM6Ly9ib3N0b25pbnN0aXR1dGVvZmFuYWx5dGljcy5vcmcvYmxvZy9iZWhhdmlvcmFsLWZpbmFuY2UtaW4tMjAyNS1ob3ctcHN5Y2hvbG9neS1pcy1kcml2aW5nLW1hcmtldC10cmVuZHMv ). It's not going to work. Just invest in index funds ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/n2hohvhvqwd5gmf6/aHR0cHM6Ly9pbnZlc3Rvci52YW5ndWFyZC5jb20vaW52ZXN0bWVudC1wcm9kdWN0cw== ). What's your favorite financial tactic? What are you saving up for? Let me know in the comments ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/48hvhehmlzoq9lcx/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9pLzE5MDg4NTI3MC93ZXJlLXlvdS1mb3J3YXJkZWQtdGhpcy1tZXNzYWdlLXNpZ24tdXAtZm9yLW15LW5ld3NsZXR0ZXI= )! Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/wnh2hghq79zvk6b7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) ----------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/wnh2hghq79zv46c7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9yZXZpZXcvY3JlYXRlLXJldmlldy8_YXNpbj0wNTkzMjQzOTE5JmNoYW5uZWw9Z2xhbmNlLWRldGFpbA== ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p )​ ​

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9/n2hohvhvmm565lh6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more ********************************** The recipe for getting things done ********************************** It's hard to motivate when it's cold outside, summer seems so far away and it's the dreariest of months. Luckily, research has some tips on how to boost your motivation. Procrastination is not about time management — it's about emotional regulation. ----------------------------------------------------------------- When we avoid a task, we're not being lazy; we're escaping an uncomfortable feeling (anxiety, boredom, self-doubt, fear of failure). The procrastination brings immediate relief, creating a 'procrastination loop'. So how do we end this loop? * Do the first, smallest step. The hardest moment isn't the work itself, but shifting into the uncertainty of how to start. (What should this newsletter be about? Oh, look, Wordle!) To make the shift easier, choose just one small task ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9/wnh2hghqnnvxvza7/aHR0cHM6Ly9oYnIub3JnLzIwMTgvMDUvaG93LXRvLWFjdHVhbGx5LXN0YXJ0LXRoZS10YXNrLXlvdXZlLWJlZW4tYXZvaWRpbmc= ). (I'm going to look at questions readers have emailed me! That's easy!) * Have a 'procrastination list'. Sometimes we need a break. So I always have a list of tasks that need to get done ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9/08hwh9h2vvwgkosl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAxMy8wMS8xNS9zY2llbmNlL3Bvc2l0aXZlLXByb2NyYXN0aW5hdGlvbi1ub3QtYW4tb3h5bW9yb24uaHRtbA== ) (rent a car for Florida, see what concerts are coming up) that feel like a mini-break, but also need to happen. * Engage in 'temptation bundling': Pair an unpleasant task with something genuinely enjoyable ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9/vqh3hrholl3ed4hg/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM0MzgxNjYyLw== ). (I hate running, so I watch action movies on the treadmill. I highly recommend Extraction 2 ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9/dpheh0hevvw8m7am/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmV0ZmxpeC5jb20vYnJvd3NlP2pidj04MTA5ODQ5NA== ) — and by 'recommend' I mean there is no discernible plot, but lots of explosions to distract you from the pain in your knees.) The right kind of to-do list matters ------------------------------------ When Harvard scientists tested four different ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9/e0hph7h766wq2ki8/aHR0cHM6Ly9oYnIub3JnLzIwMjEvMDEvaS10cmllZC00LXRvLWRvLWxpc3QtbWV0aG9kcy1oZXJlcy13aGF0LXdvcmtlZA== ) approaches to improving focus and productivity, they found the best method was the “do one thing approach". It's okay to have a long list of tasks — a 'memory list'. But that should not be your to-do list. Studies show it triggers a 'need for cognitive closure': You're likely to choose an easy but unimportant item from the list because it makes you feel so good to cross it off as done. Research says there's a better way. Each morning, create a to-do list with just one entry: The most important thing for that day. That's it. If you get that done, you can look at your memory list, and use it to write a new to-do list, with (again) just one entry. The goal is to force yourself to make a choice and do the most important task (rather than chasing the thrill you get from immediate but meaningless busy-ness.) Other miscellaneous suggestions: -------------------------------- Studies show if you have a strong view of your future-self, you'll procrastinate less, save more money, and behave more ethically. The key is vividness ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9/owhkhqhwpplg7wbv/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuaGFsaGVyc2hmaWVsZC5jb20vY29uc2lkZXJpbmctdGhlLWZ1dHVyZS1zZWxm ): Imagine what it feels like to finish that project, or cross the finish line, or close that deal. Spend a few minutes writing down, or imagining, what it sounds like, what you're dressed in, the specific emotions — and you'll find motivation increasing. Or just work alongside someone else, even virtually. "Body doubling" ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9/p8heh9h4mm5glxfq/aHR0cHM6Ly9kbC5hY20ub3JnL2RvaS9mdWxsLzEwLjExNDUvMzY4OTY0OA== ) — working in the presence of another person, even without interacting — has been a staple of ADHD communities for years. You don't have to talk to each other — just knowing someone is there, also working, activates dopamine pathways linked to motivation. Finally, try a little self-compassion, rather than self-criticism. One study ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9/x0hph6heood9lxt5/aHR0cHM6Ly9ncmVhdGVyZ29vZC5iZXJrZWxleS5lZHUvYXJ0aWNsZS9pdGVtL3R3b19Db3VudGVyaW50dWl0aXZlX3dheXNfdG9fc3RvcF9wcm9jcmFzdGluYXRpbmc= ) found that students who forgave themselves for procrastinating on a first exam subsequently procrastinated less on the second one. But students who were hard on themselves showed no such improvement. Why? Because self-criticism triggers shame and anxiety — which reinforces the procrastination loop. So take it easy on yourself, and figure out the first, small step for next time. How do you stop yourself from procrastinating? Let me know in the comments ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9/kkhmh6hnrr263rsl/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9pLzE4OTI5OTI3NS9ob3ctZG8teW91LXN0b3AteW91cnNlbGYtZnJvbS1wcm9jcmFzdGluYXRpbmctbGV0LW1lLWtub3ctaW4tdGhlLWNvbW1lbnRz )! Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9/n2hohvhvmm565lh6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) ----------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9/25h2hoh36604ewu3/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9yZXZpZXcvY3JlYXRlLXJldmlldy8_YXNpbj0wNTkzMjQzOTE5JmNoYW5uZWw9Z2xhbmNlLWRldGFpbA== ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9 ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9 )​ ​

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/mvue79k2zgt5hqv2g94umhr22m2qqf3hqkdxo/58hvh7hgqzwqw7t6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more ​ Friends, I hope you don't mind this brief interruption. As you may know, I created a podcast in 2019 named "How To!". The idea was simple: Each week, a listener would call in with a problem, and then we would find an expert to solve that problem - and you got to listen in. (It was kind of like eavesdropping on someone's therapy session, without the co-pay.) The show has been going strong for seven years now, and I'm ecstatic that we've found a new host: Mike Pesca, an award winning journalist and the host of The Gist. If this sounds like your cup of tea, I hope you'll tune in (you can listen to the show and subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/mvue79k2zgt5hqv2g94umhr22m2qqf3hqkdxo/n2hohvhvmk4m4pc6/aHR0cHM6Ly9hcHAubWFnZWxsYW4uYWkvbGlzdGVuX2xpbmtzL00ydFg0TQ== )). Even better if you have a problem that needs solving, let us know! You can send your dilemmas to howto@mikepesca.com ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/mvue79k2zgt5hqv2g94umhr22m2qqf3hqkdxo/48hvhehmvn3v3dbx/bWFpbHRvOmhvd3RvQG1pa2VwZXNjYS5jb20= ) and we'll see if we can't get you on the show. Thanks so much, and I'll be back soon with more advice on the science of better. Charles ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/mvue79k2zgt5hqv2g94umhr22m2qqf3hqkdxo ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/mvue79k2zgt5hqv2g94umhr22m2qqf3hqkdxo )​ ​

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/48hvhehmv90vmxfx/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more ***************************************************************** Happy Valentine's Day! (Here's how researchers say to celebrate.) ***************************************************************** It's February 14th, which means half the nation is scrambling to make dinner reservations, and the other half is wondering why there's nothing at the movie theater besides "Wuthering Heights". (Spoiler alert: they get busy.) Luckily, science has tips on how to bring romance to our everyday lives — whether we're coupled or single, and even if we don't dress in corsets and pantaloons. Seven-year-olds, when writing Valentine's Day cards, like to keep things edgy. Valentine's Day and kissing have weird origins — but both work because they encourage 'savoring'. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Valentine’s Day might seem sweet, but its roots are surprisingly dark ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/wnh2hghqn4rnqli7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnByLm9yZy8yMDExLzAyLzE0LzEzMzY5MzE1Mi90aGUtZGFyay1vcmlnaW5zLW9mLXZhbGVudGluZXMtZGF5 ): Historians trace the holiday to Lupercalia, an ancient Roman festival involving animal sacrifice, where men wore fresh hides to demonstrate their (very smelly) verility. The holiday’s name comes from St. Valentine ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/reh8hohm47q4mpc2/aHR0cHM6Ly9lbi53aWtpcGVkaWEub3JnL3dpa2kvU2FpbnRfVmFsZW50aW5l ), who was beaten to death and then decapitated. So, it makes sense that we now celebrate with chocolates and flirting. Kissing, thankfully, has cheerier origins ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/08hwh9h2vxmv28al/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmJjLmNvbS9mdXR1cmUvYXJ0aWNsZS8yMDIxMDgxMy10aGUtcmVhc29ucy1odW1hbnMtc3RhcnRlZC1raXNzaW5n ): All sorts of animals kiss, and researchers believe it evolved from early caregiving behaviors, like breastfeeding, and persists because getting face-to-face ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/8ghqhohoz3gzqehk/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmJjLmNvbS9uZXdzL2FydGljbGVzL2NyNDNncTYxZzJxbw== ) provides valuable clues about a potential mate's health (bad breath?) and empathy/aggression (is he a soft kisser?) But most important, and the reason kissing and dates are fun is because of what psychologists refer to as 'anticipation' and 'savoring' ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/vqh3hrhol4nlexug/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM4NzEyNjY3Lw== ). Researchers distinguish between 'proactive savoring' (leaning in to initiate a kiss) and 'reactive savoring' (kissing back, and slowing down to make it last). Romance occurs when we experience excited/anxious anticipation and then both kinds of savoring: So if you work up the courage to go for a smooch, and are hoping for fireworks, take it slow when they respond. Have you ever dated a microbiologist? But what if I'm single on Valentine's Day? (Actually, that's a good thing!) ----------------------------------------------------------------- It's great to be single on Valentine's Day. In fact, we more likely to find a meaningful sense of romance when we're feeling independent. Researchers have found that single people experience just as much love and passion in their daily lives as couples. In one experiment, volunteers at a retirement home asked residents about their love lives ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/l2hehmhle4oe6ni6/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM2OTM4MjU0Lw== ). For retirees, recalling past flings was as satisfying as a new liaison. More important, volunteers found that listening to romantic stories — whether the listener was single or in a relationship — satisfied their passion needs (and made them feel wonderful) more than a date. (Rom-coms ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/m2h7h5h3v9ovm9hm/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZWFsZXJ0LmNvbS90aGVyZXMtYS1zY2llbmNlLXRvLXRoZS1wZXJmZWN0LXJvbS1jb20tYW4tZXhwZXJ0LWV4cGxhaW5z ) can do the same thing.) Why? Because when we're in control of our emotions, it's easier to give them free rein. Independence lets us swoon even deeper. So, why not engage in a little self love? One study ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/dpheh0hevkqv8wtm/aHR0cHM6Ly9tZWRpdW0uY29tL2JldHRlci1hZHZpY2UvaWYteW91LXdhbnQtdG8tZ2V0LW91dC1vZi15b3VyLWhlYWQtc3RhcnQtd3JpdGluZy1sb3ZlLWxldHRlcnMtdG8teW91cnNlbGYtZWU1NGUwNDIzNjlk ) found that writing a compassionate letter to your future self — or a platonic friend — offers benefits that last for months. If you're more into e-mail, you can use FutureMe.org ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/7qh7h8h9q80qw4sz/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZnV0dXJlbWUub3JnLw== ). And, of course, some varieties of self love ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/owhkhqhwpn4pg4tv/aHR0cHM6Ly9ueW1hZy5jb20vc3RyYXRlZ2lzdC9hcnRpY2xlL2Jlc3QtdmlicmF0b3JzLmh0bWw= ) are especially easy and satisfying — and less time consuming than dinner and a movie. Valentine's Day photos slay. Okay, but I've been married for an eternity. What should I do to keep the spark alive? ----------------------------------------------------------------- Give your brains goal-directed novelty. In 2005, researchers examined the brains ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/p8heh9h4md9mg4cq/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVzZWFyY2hnYXRlLm5ldC9wdWJsaWNhdGlvbi83ODE0MjAwX0Fyb25fQV9GaXNoZXJfSF9NYXNoZWtfREpfU3Ryb25nX0dfTGlfSF9Ccm93bl9MTF9SZXdhcmRfbW90aXZhdGlvbl9hbmRfZW1vdGlvbl9zeXN0ZW1zX2Fzc29jaWF0ZWRfd2l0aF9lYXJseS1zdGFnZV9pbnRlbnNlX3JvbWFudGljX2xvdmVfSl9OZXVyb3BoeXNpb2xfOTRfMzI3LTMzNw== ) of people in new relationships and found that simply viewing a partner’s face activated dopamine-rich motivation circuits — the same regions involved in goal pursuit. Early love isn’t really an emotion. It’s a drive, a form of focused attention and shared goals that excite us to act because they're new. Over time, these motivations fade. (Your lovers face, alas, just becomes a face.) But the spark is re-ignited when we encounter something that triggers a fresh sense of focused attention, shared goals and excitement. (That's why you are friskier on an exciting trip.) So, find a new hobby (anyone for a kissing class ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/x0hph6heozno99u5/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyNS8xMi8xOS9zdHlsZS9tYXJyaWFnZS1hZHZpY2UtcmVsYXRpb25zaGlwLWxlc3NvbnMuaHRtbA== )?) Or slip an unexpected candy bar ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/6qheh8hlzwpznoio/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2VsZi5jb20vc3RvcnkvaG93LXRvLWZlZWwtY2xvc2VyLXRvLXlvdXItcGFydG5lcg== ) into their coat pocket. As we get older, we're just as likely ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/kkhmh6hnre8r64hl/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUMzODQ4ODg3Lw== ) to fall (and stay) in love as youngsters — as long as we're doing something new. Scrambling for a Valentine's Day gift? We can help ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/58hvh7hgq05qk3i6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyNi8wMS8yOS90LW1hZ2F6aW5lL3ZhbGVudGluZXMtZGF5LWdpZnQtaWRlYXMuaHRtbA== )! Want to press those flowers you got? Here's how ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/25h2hoh36g7646i3/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmhtLmFjLnVrL2Rpc2NvdmVyL2hvdy10by1wcmVzcy1mbG93ZXJzLmh0bWw= )! What are you planning for this evening? Let me know in the comments ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/qvh8h7hdzv8zowbl/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9wL2hhcHB5LXZhbGVudGluZXMtZGF5LWhlcmVzLWhvdy1yZXNlYXJjaGVycw== )! Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/48hvhehmv90vmxfx/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) ----------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/g3hnh5hmrner6wcr/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9yZXZpZXcvY3JlYXRlLXJldmlldy8_YXNpbj0wNTkzMjQzOTE5JmNoYW5uZWw9Z2xhbmNlLWRldGFpbA== ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p )​ ​

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/reh8hohmkoo7zwb2/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more ********************************** What we can learn from cold places ********************************** It's February. Half the U.S. is covered in ice. The news is depressing. (And newspapers are disappearing ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/08hwh9h2nppxrzsl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudGhlYXRsYW50aWMuY29tL3BvbGl0aWNzLzIwMjYvMDIvd2FzaGluZ3Rvbi1wb3N0LWxheW9mZnMtYmV6b3MvNjg1ODcyLw== ) faster than wives on the Lifetime channel ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/8ghqhohow773nksk/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS9zZWFyY2g_b3E9d2hhdCUyMGFyZSUyMGFsbCUyMHRoZSUyMGxpZmV0aW1lJTIwbW92aWVzJTIwd2hlcmUlMjB0aGUlMjB3aWZlJTIwZGllZCZxPXdoYXQlMjBhcmUlMjBhbGwlMjB0aGUlMjBsaWZldGltZSUyMG1vdmllcyUyMHdoZXJlJTIwdGhlJTIwd2lmZSUyMGRpZWQlM0Y= )). In other words, things are a little rough right now. But fear not! There are ways to handle the February blues! Just look at what they do in other really cold countries. “Coming to Helsinki in February is an objectively weird choice,” said a man named Mikko Tirronen. “During this time, we don’t have …” he paused. “… colors.” (Read more here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/l2hehmhlqdd47eb6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyNS8wNS8wMi9tYWdhemluZS9maW5sYW5kLWhhcHBpZXN0LWNvdW50cnkuaHRtbA== ).) The happiest nations are the ones with the darkest winters. (Which forces everyone to get social.) ----------------------------------------------------------------- According to the 2025 World Happiness Report ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/dpheh0hed22knnum/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cud29ybGRoYXBwaW5lc3MucmVwb3J0L2VkLzIwMjUvZXhlY3V0aXZlLXN1bW1hcnkv ), Finland is the happiest country on earth. The other top nations are all nearby: Denmark, Iceland, Sweden and the Netherlands. What do they all have in common? They're really cold in the winter — which means people have to count on each other. In Finland, for instance, when the dark days of February approach, people start planning regular get togethers in advance ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/l2hehmhlqdd47eb6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyNS8wNS8wMi9tYWdhemluZS9maW5sYW5kLWhhcHBpZXN0LWNvdW50cnkuaHRtbA== ). (There's a saying: "Build the sauna, then the house.") In the Netherlands, people are encouraged to leave work earlier ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/e0hph7h7mddeogs8/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cub2VjZC5vcmcvY29udGVudC9kYW0vb2VjZC9lbi9wdWJsaWNhdGlvbnMvcmVwb3J0cy8yMDE5LzA5L3BhcnQtdGltZS1hbmQtcGFydGx5LWVxdWFsLWdlbmRlci1hbmQtd29yay1pbi10aGUtbmV0aGVybGFuZHNfM2M1OWM3YWYvMjA0MjM1Y2YtZW4ucGRm ) in the winter so they can see friends on their way home. In Sweden, communal coffee breaks ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/7qh7h8h9dxx852sz/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudGhlZ3VhcmRpYW4uY29tL2xpZmVhbmRzdHlsZS8yMDIzL25vdi8wOC9maWthLWZvdXItd2Vlay1ob2xpZGF5cy1hbmQtemVyby1vdmVydGltZS1zd2VkZW5zLXN0dW5uaW5nbHktaGVhbHRoeS13b3JrLWN1bHR1cmU= ), known as a fika, are so critical for productivity they're written into employment contracts. All these tactics point to the same insight: You know this month is going to be rough. So fight the February blues by spending time with other people. (But that won't happen on it's own — you have to schedule it.) Ain't no party like a Scottish Viking party 'cause a Scottish Viking party don't stop But how do I schedule socialization? It's really hard to go outside. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Plan for the daylight hours, and make those plans specific. In Iceland nearly the entire nation participates in monthly book exchanges known as Jólabókaflóð ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/z2hghnhe5mm7xlcp/aHR0cHM6Ly9qb2xhYm9rYWZsb2Qub3JnL2Fib3V0L2ZvdW5kaW5nLXN0b3J5Lw== ) (literal translation: "Christmas Book Flood") that often feature dance parties, comedy shows and piles of cookies and cakes. In Basel, the city hosts a three-day February extravaganza, Basler Fasnacht ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/6qheh8hlx33weqbo/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmFzbGVyZmFzbmFjaHQuaW5mby9iYXNlbC1mYXNuYWNodC8= ), which is like Rio Carnival and Mardi Gras combined, but in polar fleece (and with even more nudity, which is impressive). On the northern coast of Scotland, cities burn Viking longships ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/25h2hoh3lqqgz8c3/aHR0cHM6Ly9lbi53aWtpcGVkaWEub3JnL3dpa2kvVXBfSGVsbHlfQWE= ) on the last Tuesday in January and cheer on the flames. Research says these kinds of activities work because the best winter plans follow a formula: connection + movement + light ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/9qhzhnhd4eexmla9/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmltaC5uaWguZ292L2hlYWx0aC9wdWJsaWNhdGlvbnMvc2Vhc29uYWwtYWZmZWN0aXZlLWRpc29yZGVyPw== ) (walking and chatting with a friend in the winter sun is better than having coffee inside). And it doesn't have to be long: the correct "dose", according to studies, is just 15 minutes. Finally, remember that winter plans die in the dark. Build around the sunlight. ("Let's meet at 1:30" is better than "Let's meet after work.") In Calgary, there is a tradition of making art by throwing water into the air so it instantly freezes until your parents scream at you to quit risking hypothermia and get back indoors. But what can I do when I'm alone? --------------------------------- There's a clinical name for the winter blues: Seasonal Affective Disorder, also known as SAD (to which I say: Nice job with the acronym, scientists). Studies say SAD can be battled through a number of techniques, including: * "Dawn simulation ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/48hvhehmw779erfx/aHR0cHM6Ly9wdWJtZWQubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi8xMTUxMzgyMC8= )" via bright morning lights. There's lots of 'sunrise alarm clocks ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/08hwh9h2nppx5zfl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vd2lyZWN1dHRlci9yZXZpZXdzL2Jlc3Qtc3VucmlzZS1hbGFybS1jbG9jay8= )' that can nudge your brain into thinking that spring is near. Exposure to bright light after waking up triggers neurotransmitters associated with happiness — and makes it easier to fall asleep later. * "High-density negative air ionization ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/m2h7h5h32ll9p5hm/aHR0cHM6Ly9qYW1hbmV0d29yay5jb20vam91cm5hbHMvamFtYXBzeWNoaWF0cnkvZnVsbGFydGljbGUvMjA0MzM0 )" has been shown to have antidepressant effects and fight SAD in clinical studies. I agree this idea sounds kooky — the air makes you happier! — but researchers say it works. The key is using a 'high-density' device, like this one ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/owhkhqhwx00nv2cv/aHR0cHM6Ly9jZXQub3JnL3Nob3AvcG9wdWxhci1wcm9kdWN0cy93ZWluLXZvcnRleC12aS0zNTAwLXJvb20taW9uaWMtYWlyLXB1cmlmaWVyLw== ) or that one ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/6qheh8hlx33wgqco/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9QT01PUk9OLU1KMDAySC1QdXJpZmllcnMtR2VuZXJhdG9yLVBhcnRpY2xlcy9kcC9CMDlUUkpMVFBWLz90aD0x ). * Consistent sleep patterns are critical. Your body wants to change your sleep schedule ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/58hvh7hg3440dva6/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM4NzMzODU5Lw== ) when there's less daylight, but that screws up emotional regulation and physical health. So have a firm schedule of when you will put away your phone, turn off the lights, get into bed, and wake up. It can take a few evenings for your body to adapt — but the consistency works. What's your winter hack? Let me know in the comments ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/qvh8h7hdellvmvil/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9wL3doYXQtd2UtY2FuLWxlYXJuLWZyb20tY29sZC1wbGFjZXM= )! And, I had an article in the New Yorker about what scientists say about why MAGA has succeeded as a movement — and what the Democrats should learn. Check it out! ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/9qhzhnhd4eexvlt9/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmV3eW9ya2VyLmNvbS9tYWdhemluZS8yMDI2LzAyLzAyL3doYXQtbWFnYS1jYW4tdGVhY2gtZGVtb2NyYXRzLWFib3V0LW9yZ2FuaXppbmctYW5kLWluZmlnaHRpbmc= )​ ​ Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/reh8hohmkoo7zwb2/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) ----------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/n2hohvhv2llg9nf6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9yZXZpZXcvY3JlYXRlLXJldmlldy8_YXNpbj0wNTkzMjQzOTE5JmNoYW5uZWw9Z2xhbmNlLWRldGFpbA== ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde )​ ​

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/25h2hoh3l4ol78b3/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more ***************************************************************** What to do when you can't go outside because it's really, really cold. ***************************************************************** A "major Arctic outbreak" is arriving. In Vermont, they are forecasting minus 40 degrees ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/qvh8h7hdeo6e8vcl/aHR0cHM6Ly92dGRpZ2dlci5vcmcvMjAyNi8wMS8yMi90ZW1wcy10by1wbHVtbWV0LWFzLWJpdHRlci1jb2xkLWZyb250LWFwcHJvYWNoZXMtcHJvbXB0aW5nLWVtZXJnZW5jeS1zaGVsdGVycy10by1vcGVuLw== )! Trees might explode ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/g3hnh5hmg6zgeofr/aHR0cHM6Ly94LmNvbS9NYXhWZWxvY2l0eVdYL3N0YXR1cy8yMDEzNzg2OTYwMTc5OTk1MDA0 )! There's something called a "frost quake ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/9qhzhnhd4z24gla9/aHR0cHM6Ly94LmNvbS9NaVN0b3JtQ2hhc2Vycy9zdGF0dXMvMjAxNDA2NTU3MjYxNTUzMjY0NA== )"! Luckily, there's lots of studies about how to stay warm and upbeat amid the chill. Everyone needs a good kotatsu table ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/3ohphkh3x4dxqdfr/aHR0cHM6Ly9ib2trc3UuY29tL2Jsb2dzL25ld3Mva290YXRzdS1jdWx0dXJlLWhvdy1qYXBhbi1zdGF5cy13YXJtLXdpdGgtdGhlLXVsdGltYXRlLWhlYXRlZC10YWJsZT9zcnNsdGlkPUFmbUJPb3FGRXhFakhId2RMcGZyclJyX1lUVWt0OV9YS3RRRDVxaXZQd2g1RDNkZmtUak5fZm9X ). Frigid nations have this all figured out. Let's steal their best ideas. ----------------------------------------------------------------- In Norway, where winter sunlight only lasts about seven hours, some towns install large mirrors on mountainsides ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/48hvhehmw62w0rax/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmJjLmNvbS9mdXR1cmUvYXJ0aWNsZS8yMDE3MDMxNC10aGUtdG93bi10aGF0LWJ1aWx0LWEtbWlycm9yLXRvLWNhdGNoLXRoZS1zdW4= ) to reflect sunlight into the town square — which has the additional benefit of nudging everyone to gather together and socialize. (So install some mirrors near your windows, and bounce them to where everyone can meet.) In Siberia, one of the coldest and darkest places on earth, people spend winters eating stroganina ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/wnh2hghqmxomrqi7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXRsYXNvYnNjdXJhLmNvbS9mb29kcy9zdHJvZ2FuaW5hLXlha3V0c2stcnVzc2lh ): raw, paper-thin slices of frozen fish (think popsicle sashimi ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/08hwh9h2ng7nmzcl/aHR0cHM6Ly9yb2Fkc2FuZGtpbmdkb21zLmNvbS8yMDEyL3N0cm9nb25pbmEtZnJvemVuLXNhc2hpbWktb2YtdGhlLXJ1c3NpYW4tYXJjdGljLw== )) because oily fish can provide the vitamin D you normally get from the sun. Or, try eating UV-exposed mushrooms ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/vqh3hrhomekmnmtg/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM2MjEzMTc4Lw== ), which transmit some of the sun's health to your gut. In Japan, it's common for wintry households to break out a Kotatsu table ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/l2hehmhlq6kqoec6/aHR0cHM6Ly9lbi53aWtpcGVkaWEub3JnL3dpa2kvS290YXRzdQ== ): a wooden frame with an internal electric heater and a huge blanket to trap the heat. (That's a photo of a Kotatsu table above.) People love these things (some people sleep under them), and you can order them for just a few hundred bucks ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/m2h7h5h32mn2o5fm/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9zP2s9a290YXRzdSUyMHRhYmxl ). (Or you can get a really nice one for a bit more ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/dpheh0hed87dqntm/aHR0cHM6Ly9rb3RhdHN1LXRva3lvLmNvbS9jb2xsZWN0aW9ucy9rb3RhdHN1 ).) You mean, I get to wear the hat and fight a tree? I'm in. But how do I stay connected to people? It's too cold to see anyone! ----------------------------------------------------------------- Social interaction is very important during winter months. And so it's critical that you plan your socialization. Studies show just 15 minutes of talking ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/e0hph7h7mqnmkgs8/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZm9yYmVzLmNvbS9zaXRlcy9jYXJvbGluZWNhc3RyaWxsb24vMjAyNS8wNi8wNC81LXN0cmF0ZWdpZXMtdG8tcHJldmVudC1zb2NpYWwtaXNvbGF0aW9uLXdoZW4td29ya2luZy1yZW1vdGVseS8= ) can do the trick — so schedule a quick zoom with your bestie. Or go asynchronous and start sending voice chats ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/7qh7h8h9dw4d02hz/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZm9yYmVzLmNvbS9zaXRlcy9icnlhbnJvYmluc29uLzIwMjUvMDUvMDkvdGhlLXJlbW90ZS13b3JrLXBhcmFkb3gtNC13YXlzLXRvLXN0YXktc2FuZS13aGVuLXRoZS1pc29sYXRpb24tZHJpdmVzLXlvdS1jcmF6eS8= ) to each other. (Marco Polo ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/owhkhqhwxg8x42iv/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubWFyY29wb2xvLm1lLw== ) makes it easy.) Or find a group hobby ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/z2hghnhe5pd5olbp/aHR0cHM6Ly9vbmxpbmVsaWJyYXJ5LndpbGV5LmNvbS9kb2kvZXBkZi8xMC4xMDAyL2hiZTIuMjQy ) you can do online: Wplace.live ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/p8heh9h4rg7r9ptq/aHR0cHM6Ly93cGxhY2UubGl2ZS8= ) lets artsy types create together by changing one pixel at a time. GeoGuessr ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/x0hph6hek97knmu5/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ2VvZ3Vlc3NyLmNvbS8= ) make you feel like you're traveling around the world with teammates. You can also play Codenames ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/kkhmh6hnz69zlgbl/aHR0cHM6Ly9zdGFnZS5jb2RlbmFtZXMuZ2FtZS8= ), a knockoff of Cards Against Humanity ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/58hvh7hg3k93mvu6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuY2FyZHNhZ2FpbnN0Zm9ybWFsaXR5LmlvLw== ) or Othello ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/25h2hoh3l4ol28c3/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZW90aGVsbG8uY29tLw== ) online with friends! (A minute to learn, a lifetime to hear trash talk.) Here are some really big ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/qvh8h7hdeo6ervil/aHR0cHM6Ly9kb2NzLmdvb2dsZS5jb20vZG9jdW1lbnQvdS8wL2QvMTBpT0Q3V3lfWVU0Tm1rUFU3Wkg3WVRycTExcUpBQU5qWlowUEFvdEtoUjgvbW9iaWxlYmFzaWM= ) lists ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/g3hnh5hmg6zg3ohr/aHR0cHM6Ly9kb2NzLmdvb2dsZS5jb20vc3ByZWFkc2hlZXRzL2QvMU9FU2pKd25TVmhZSDg0bXJBOUxIMGhCNy1yZGpKSzhLVmExdlFLbUJUR3MvZWRpdD9naWQ9MTY0Mzc0MTgxNiNnaWQ9MTY0Mzc0MTgxNg== ) of online versions of nearly any game. Best of all, go visit a sauna and strike up a conversation. Numerous studies ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/3ohphkh3x4dx7dhr/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmJjLmNvbS9mdXR1cmUvYXJ0aWNsZS8yMDI1MDUyMC1hcmUtc2F1bmFzLWFuZC1jb2xkLXBsdW5nZXMtZ29vZC1mb3IteW91ci1oZWFsdGg= ) show regular sauna use lowers the risks of heart disease, stroke and early death. Also, it's pretty hard not to feel close to someone after you've been half naked while screaming "this is so hot!" together. (You can find a local sauna here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/n2hohvhv26o23nf6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2F1bmFmaW5kZXIub3JnLw== ) or here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/wnh2hghqmxomwqb7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2F1bmF0aW1lcy5jb20vc2F1bmEtdHJhdmVsLw== ) or here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/reh8hohmkw5k0ws2/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbHVuZ2VzYXVuYWZpbmRlci5jb20v ).) Okay, but I need to get some work done. And it's harder in the winter. What should I do? ----------------------------------------------------------------- First, it's important to work with your body's natural energy rhythms ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/08hwh9h2ng7ndzil/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM4MDYzOTMzLw== ), instead of fighting them. Numerous studies ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/8ghqhohowq5wlkhk/aHR0cHM6Ly9hcnhpdi5vcmcvYWJzLzIwMDQuMDY1OTQ= ) show we're more focused and less stressed when do our most demanding work during high-energy hours, and let ourselves rest when our energy ebbs. (And if you don't know your energy rhythms, here's a site ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/vqh3hrhomekmpmug/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucHN5Y2hvbG9neXRvZGF5LmNvbS91cy9ibG9nL3NsZWVwLW5ld3p6ei8yMDIxMDQvd2hhdC15b3UtbmVlZC10by1rbm93LWFib3V0LXlvdXItY2hyb25vdHlwZQ== ) to help you figure out your individual 'chronotype'.) Next, you need a system to create structure (especially when you're homebound). Some of the most popular are the Pomodoro Technique ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/l2hehmhlq6kq3ei6/aHR0cHM6Ly9lbi53aWtpcGVkaWEub3JnL3dpa2kvUG9tb2Rvcm9fVGVjaG5pcXVl ) and Time Blocking ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/m2h7h5h32mn285hm/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudG9kb2lzdC5jb20vcHJvZHVjdGl2aXR5LW1ldGhvZHMvdGltZS1ibG9ja2luZw== ). To make those burst most productive, consider task batching ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/dpheh0hed87d0num/aHR0cHM6Ly9hcHBsb3llLmNvbS9ibG9nL3RpbWUtbWFuYWdlbWVudC10ZWNobmlxdWVzLw== ) by grouping similar tasks (emails, errands, admin work, creative brainstorming), so you avoid the mental exhaustion of jumping between activities. Finally, seek out cleanliness and sunlight. It's okay to do the dishes before you start writing that memo — the cleaning, in fact, is part of the writing process ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/e0hph7h7mqnm0gf8/aHR0cHM6Ly9wdWJtZWQubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi8yMTIyODE2Ny8= ). And it's great to move your desk next to a window (or use a mirror to bounce light around). Researchers found that when people have more daylight exposure ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/7qh7h8h9dw4do2hz/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubWRwaS5jb20vMTY2MC00NjAxLzE4LzE5Lzk5ODA= ) their circadian rhythms stay more aligned — and so they fall asleep earlier, wake up with more energy, and report better moods and vitality. Finally, if you're looking for something to read as you stay cozy inside, let me recommend two new books by some of my favorite authors! Flourish: The Art of Building Meaning, Joy, and Fulfillment ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/owhkhqhwxg8xr2bv/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9GbG91cmlzaC1BcnQtQnVpbGRpbmctTWVhbmluZy1GdWxmaWxsbWVudC9kcC8wNTI1NjIwNzAyLw== ) by Daniel Coyle (author of The Culture Code) is all about how to have a better, more meaningful life (even when it's dark outside) and The Other Side of Change: Who We Become When Life Makes Other Plans ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/z2hghnhe5pd53lcp/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9PdGhlci1TaWRlLUNoYW5nZS1CZWNvbWUtTWFrZXMvZHAvQjBGNTRTNVlIRC8= ) by cognitive scientist Maya Shankar explores how we become stronger — and often happier — when life serves up unexpected upheaval. What's the weather like where you live? Have any trees exploded from the cold? What's your favorite indoor activity on a snowy day? Let us know in the comments ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/p8heh9h4rg7rzpuq/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9wL3doYXQtdG8tZG8td2hlbi15b3UtY2FudC1nby1vdXRzaWRl )! Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/25h2hoh3l4ol78b3/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) ----------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/x0hph6hek97kwma5/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9yZXZpZXcvY3JlYXRlLXJldmlldy8_YXNpbj0wNTkzMjQzOTE5JmNoYW5uZWw9Z2xhbmNlLWRldGFpbA== ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d )​ ​

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/6qheh8hl032wgqbo/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more ******************************************************* Make 2026 the best year ever! (With help from science.) ******************************************************* The second Friday in January is known as "Quitter's Day" because that's when New Year's resolutions usually fail. But you're better than that! Here's a few secrets on how to make your plans stick. Resolutions? We don't need no stinking resolutions! --------------------------------------------------- The best resolutions don't focus on a goal, but rather a process ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/n2hohvhvelog9ni6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vd2F0Y2g_dj10aFNFb0cyXzZJbw== ). (So instead of I'm going to lose 20 pounds!, set a plan: I'm going to run twice a week!) Just doing the activity is more important than the outcome. (Running once around the block counts.) If you're struggling, it might be that you need to give yourself more options ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/vqh3hrho8qk49mtg/aHR0cHM6Ly90aW1lLmNvbS83MzQyNzA0L25ldy15ZWFyLXJlc29sdXRpb25zLw== ). Our brains get binary very quickly (if I run 3 miles, I'm great; if I run 1.5, I'm a loser). The solution is expanding the menu of choices (if I run 3 miles, or lift weights for 20 minutes, or learn to cook a soufflé, then I'm awesome). So come up with a list ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/6qheh8hl032w8qco/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnByLm9yZy90cmFuc2NyaXB0cy9ueC1zMS01NjYxNTM2 ) of, say, 26 things you want to achieve in 2026. That way, you don't have to exercise every day because today is a cooking day (#28: perfect my omelette flip). Motivation is easier to generate when we feel in control. Lastly, studies indicate one of the most effective strategies is a "nudge word" ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/9qhzhnhdne2xolt9/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucHN5Y2hvbG9neXRvZGF5LmNvbS91cy9ibG9nL2NoYW5nZXBvd2VyLzIwMjMwMS82LXVudXN1YWwtYWx0ZXJuYXRpdmVzLXRvLXRyYWRpdGlvbmFsLW5ldy15ZWFycy1yZXNvbHV0aW9ucw== ): a word or phrase that captures the mindset you want, that you can whisper when you feel yourself slipping. (Some good ones: “Excellence, not perfection” or “Any amount is better than none.” Here's a nudge word generator ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/48hvhehmk7294rux/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cud2FzaGluZ3RvbnBvc3QuY29tL3dlbGxuZXNzL2ludGVyYWN0aXZlLzIwMjUvbmV3LXllYXItaW50ZW50aW9uLW51ZGdlLXdvcmQv ).) Amish baseball games get very intense. (Really! ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/reh8hohmno57gwf2/aHR0cHM6Ly9uZXdyZXB1YmxpYy5jb20vYXJ0aWNsZS8xMTI2MTYvYW1pc2gtYmFzZWJhbGwtYm95cy1sYW5jYXN0ZXI= )) But what about when it gets hard? I'm already sick of exercising. ----------------------------------------------------------------- First off, make sure you don't have too many plans all at once: Focus on one aspiration at a time ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/l2hehmhlwdk48ei6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuaGJzLmVkdS9yaXMvUHVibGljYXRpb24lMjBGaWxlcy8wOS0wODMucGRm ) — more is misery. And don't aim too high (at least initially). Studies show that when we set an audacious goal ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/dpheh0her27klnbm/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM4NDkwNzUxLw== ) and then fall short, it lowers our mood, self-esteem, and motivation. Instead, take advantage of the science of small wins ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/z2hghnhe0md7qlfp/aHR0cHM6Ly96ZW5vLW9yZ2FuaXNhdGllb250d2lra2VsaW5nLm5sL3plbm8vd3AtY29udGVudC91cGxvYWRzLzIwMjEvMDUvV2VpY2stSy4tMTk4NC1TbWFsbC1XaW5zX1JlZGVmaW5pbmctdGhlLVNjYWxlLW9mLVNvY2lhbC1Qcm9ibGVtcy1BbWVyaWNhbi1Qc3ljaG9sb2dpc3QtMzMtMS00MC00OS5wZGY= ): choose a small achievement — and let the motivation of easy success carry you to bigger plans. Finally, there's nothing special about January: But there is something special about a date you decide is special (like January 1). So set a ​"calendar of catalysts"​ ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/dpheh0her27kl3sm/aHR0cHM6Ly9ncmV0Y2hlbnJ1YmluLmNvbS93cC1jb250ZW50L3VwbG9hZHMvMjAyMy8wMi9DYWxlbmRhcl9vZl9DYXRhbHlzdHNfUGVycGV0dWFsXzIwMjNfVXBkYXRlLnBkZg== ) where each month you choose a special day, and a ritual, to celebrate your victories, change what's not working, and renew your determination. If you start small, and give yourself choices, you'll be exercising on auto-pilot by March. The Gloucestershire Cheese Rolling ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/owhkhqhw508nq6cv/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc29nbG9zLmNvbS9ldmVudC9vdXRkb29ycy9nbG91Y2VzdGVyc2hpcmUtY2hlZXNlLXJvbGxpbmcvMTc5NDMv ) has occurred almost every year since 1823 to determine which Gloucesterians don't understand physics. What about other people? Should I make my spouse run with me? ------------------------------------------------------------- If you can, yes! It's only recently that New Year’s resolutions became solo acts. They were once communal ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/x0hph6hex47zqlf5/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudGhlYXRsYW50aWMuY29tL2ZhbWlseS8yMDI1LzEyL25ldy15ZWFyLXJlc29sdXRpb24tY29tbXVuYWwvNjg1NDM2Lw== ), tied to rituals that emphasized shared well-being. It's much easier to change in the company of others. So tell people about your January plan! But who you tell matters: A series of studies ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/kkhmh6hn4o9ex8fl/aHR0cHM6Ly9uZXdzLm9zdS5lZHUvc2hhcmUteW91ci1nb2Fscy0tYnV0LWJlLWNhcmVmdWwtd2hvbS15b3UtdGVsbC8= ) found we're more likely to follow through if we share our intentions with someone we look up to, like a mentor, teacher, or someone we admire. (I email Barack Obama with my plans every January. Really. He has never emailed back.) Finally, it's okay to change your intentions. In fact, it's essential ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/58hvh7hgl4906mf6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAxOC8wNi8wNS9zbWFydGVyLWxpdmluZy9rbm93aW5nLXdoZW4tdG8tcXVpdC5odG1s ). See January as an experiment. You're testing what works and what doesn't — and wise scientists know that when an experiment doesn't work, it isn't failure. It's learning. So, set a small goal, like avoiding email until 10 am, or reading instead of doomscrolling ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/25h2hoh3nqogm3f3/aHR0cHM6Ly9yeWFuaG9saWRheS5tZWRpdW0uY29tL3RoZS1zZWNyZXQtdG8tYmV0dGVyLWhhYml0cy1pbi0yMDI2LTNjYWVlYTVjMjBlMw== ), or deciding to focus on the process, rather than the outcome. And if something isn't working, that's okay. There's another month coming up. What are your January plans? How do you keep yourself motivated? Let me know in the comments ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/g3hnh5hmx0znqpur/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9wL21ha2UtMjAyNi10aGUtYmVzdC15ZWFyLWV2ZXItd2l0aA== )! Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/6qheh8hl032wgqbo/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) ----------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/3ohphkh3vkdrpxar/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9yZXZpZXcvY3JlYXRlLXJldmlldy8_YXNpbj0wNTkzMjQzOTE5JmNoYW5uZWw9Z2xhbmNlLWRldGFpbA== ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w )​ ​

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/l2hehmhlwe3zp0t6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more ******************************************* Random Bits of Knowledge About The New Year ******************************************* I'm sure you're still recovering from New Year's Eve. And we'll be back soon with some advice on making — and sticking to — New Year resolutions. (It can be done!) In the meantime, here's an amuse-bouche of New Year's trivia. The Times Square Ball Drop once had a practical use --------------------------------------------------- Times Square’s famous New Year’s Eve ball drop traces back to a 19th-century navigation tool ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/m2h7h5h3wv87xqbm/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmJjLmNvbS90cmF2ZWwvYXJ0aWNsZS8yMDE5MTIxMi10aGUtaW52ZW50aW9uLXRoYXQtaW5zcGlyZWQtYS1uZXcteW9yay10cmFkaXRpb24= ): The “time ball,” invented to help sailors set their ship chronometers accurately from a distance. In 1829, British Royal Navy officer Robert Wauchope used a highly visible ball that was raised and then dropped at an exact moment so ships in port could synchronize their clocks without sending someone ashore. From there, time balls spread to ports worldwide, including New York in 1907, where it was adopted when Times Square needed a replacement for banned fireworks. Times Square drops roughly 3,000 pounds of confetti ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/7qh7h8h93qomemcz/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuY2JzbmV3cy5jb20vbmV3eW9yay9uZXdzL2NvbmZldHRpLXRlc3QtdGltZXMtc3F1YXJlLW5ldy15ZWFycy1ldmUtMjAyNi8= ) at midnight. Organizers do a public “confetti test” beforehand, which is messy, and some of the confetti comes from the “Wishing Wall” where people write their wishes on slips of paper that are then blown all over the city, to be picked up by confused residents. There are A LOT of New Year's traditions ---------------------------------------- Everyone knows about the kiss at midnight. But were you aware you also should eat 12 grapes ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/z2hghnhe0n38zocp/aHR0cHM6Ly9hcmNoaXZlLmlzLzIwMjMxMjI5MjMwNDQzL2h0dHBzOi8vd3d3LnZvZ3VlLmNvbS9hcnRpY2xlL25ldy15ZWFycy1ldmUtdHJhZGl0aW9ucw== )? (In Spain, those pieces of fruit are believed to bring 12 months of prosperity.) In Latin America, people take their empty suitcases on a run ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/x0hph6hexowlmea5/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbWlnb3NpbnRlcm5hdGlvbmFsLm9yZy9sYV9jYXJ0YS81LW5ldy15ZWFycy10cmFkaXRpb25zLWluLWxhdGluLWFtZXJpY2Ev ) around the block to ensure good travel in the coming year. Or, if you're in the American South, you're probably eating some black-eyed peas and greens ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/kkhmh6hn4rl3pmil/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMS8xMi8yNC9kaW5pbmcvYmxhY2stZXllZC1wZWFzLWdyZWVucy1uZXcteWVhcnMuaHRtbA== ): the peas symbolize coins, leafy greens represent paper money, and cornbread often stands in for gold, becoming an edible wish for prosperity. In Japan, the New Year is tied to osechi ryori ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/58hvh7hglqmzwls6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuamFwYW5lc2Vmb29kZ3VpZGUuY29tL29zZWNoaS1yeW9yaS1uZXcteWVhci1mb29kLWphcGFuLw== ): lacquered boxes filled with sweet black soybeans for health and diligence, herring or salmon roe for fertility and golden chestnut mash for wealth and prosperity. In Italy, people wear red underwear ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/25h2hoh3n62exlu3/aHR0cHM6Ly9ibG9nLmNhbGlkYS5jb20vZW4vcmVkLXVuZGVyd2Vhci1mb3ItbmV3LXllYXIv ) on New Year's Eve. In the Philippines, they wear polka dots ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/g3hnh5hmxr3k29ir/aHR0cHM6Ly9uZXh0c2hhcmsuY29tLzUtcXVpcmt5LWZpbGlwaW5vLW5ldy15ZWFyLXRyYWRpdGlvbnM= ) (though, not so much on their underwear. Mostly in other places.) And in Greece, everyone takes turns stomping on a pomegranate ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/3ohphkh3v07n8lcr/aHR0cHM6Ly9ncmVla3JlcG9ydGVyLmNvbS8yMDE4LzEyLzMxL3doeS1ncmVla3Mtc21hc2gtYS1wb21lZ3JhbmF0ZS1vbi1uZXcteWVhcnMtZGF5Lw== ) until it breaks into thirteen pieces — which brings good luck to each month, plus a little extra for trying to wash out the pomegranate juice from your shoes and pants. Actually, no one really knows when the New Year starts ------------------------------------------------------ January 1 hasn’t always marked the start of the year. In ancient Rome, the new year began in March ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/n2hohvhvem3k49c6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmF0aW9uYWxnZW9ncmFwaGljLmNvbS9oaXN0b3J5L2FydGljbGUvdGhlLW5ldy15ZWFyLW9uY2Utc3RhcnRlZC1pbi1tYXJjaC1oZXJlcy13aHk= ) with the return of spring. It wasn’t until 45 B.C. that Julius Caesar, through the Julian calendar, officially moved the new year to January 1, partly because that’s when new government officials took office. And, weirdly, the first day of the year is 25 hours long ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/wnh2hghq8nw3d0h7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmF0aW9uYWxnZW9ncmFwaGljLmNvbS9jdWx0dXJlL2FydGljbGUvbmV3LXllYXItbWFwLWZpcnN0LWxhc3QtY291bnRyaWVzLWludGVybmF0aW9uYWwtZGF0ZS1saW5l ). Because the international date line marks where each day begins and ends, and because the line zigzags across the Pacific to match borders (where there are 38 local time standards, including half-hour and 45-minute offsets), it all adds up to taking about 25 hours for all inhabited places to finish the year's first “day.” Christmas Island is usually the first place to welcome in a new year, while the last inhabited places are Niue and American Samoa. And if you want to take more vacation this year, you're in luck. You can stretch 11 PTO days into 41 days off ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/08hwh9h2qvdk44bl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudHJhdmVsYW5kbGVpc3VyZS5jb20vbWF4aW1pemUtcHRvLXZhY2F0aW9uLWRheXMtaW4tMjAyNi13aXRoLXRoaXMtdHJhdmVsLWhhY2stMTE4NzA2MTk= ) in 2026, if you plan it correctly. How did you spend your New Year's? What big exciting plans do you have for 2026! What wish would you write on a piece of Times Square confetti? Let me know here in the comments ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/l2hehmhlwe3zg0u6/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9wL3JhbmRvbS1iaXRzLW9mLWtub3dsZWRnZS1hYm91dC10aGU= )! Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/l2hehmhlwe3zp0t6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) ----------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/m2h7h5h3wv87rqcm/aHR0cHM6Ly9zdWJzdGFjay5jb20vcmVkaXJlY3QvMzkyZTEzNjctM2YwZi00ZjhjLTk4ZjctMGRhZGUzYWFmMzBhP2o9ZXlKMUlqb2lNbkZoWVdnMEluMC5EOWFfM1N1aTI5OW1scU5MS2lnRkJxN3poSlREMnV0T012bmxOWmwzbDVF ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek )​ ​