Explore all emails from Charles Duhigg

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/m2h7h5h36rvgl9fmhq/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more. ********************************* Put me to bed or lose me forever! ********************************* Having trouble falling asleep? Waking up in the middle of the night? Fear not! Science has solutions! A quick note: This newsletter, now in video! -------------------------------------------- If you enjoy The Science of Better, I'd love to invite you to subscribe to my new YouTube channel ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/dpheh0he93v42wimh4/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vQENoYXJsZXNfRHVoaWdn ). The first video is live now: → STOP TRYING TO BREAK YOUR BAD HABITS (THE REAL FIX) ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/e0hph7h73x6pd2a8h2/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vd2F0Y2g_dj1FZm1WWjBZd1lyYw== ) ← ​ ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/e0hph7h73x6pd2a8h2/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vd2F0Y2g_dj1FZm1WWjBZd1lyYw== )I'll be posting new videos each week on topics like 'Life Advice That Sounds Good But Will Destroy You', and 'The One Habit That Will Change Your Life'. ​You can subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/dpheh0he93v42wimh4/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vQENoYXJsZXNfRHVoaWdn ). When you really need to sleep, any bed will do. How much sleep do I actually need each night? --------------------------------------------- Researchers aren't completely certain why we sleep. Adding to the mystery is that sleep varies wildly ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/7qh7h8h92gqkx4szh6/c2xlZXBmb3VuZGF0aW9uLm9yZy9hbmltYWxzLWFuZC1zbGVlcA== ) among species: Newborn dolphins barely sleep at all. Giraffes sleep in 5-minute bursts throughout the day. Elephants only sleep about two hours a night, while koalas sleep for 22 hours and sea otters hold hands while they doze. (Which isn't really germane, but is insanely cute ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/owhkhqhwmzpk04tvhr/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vc2hvcnRzL1VJTFBwemhXTXRj ).) How much you should sleep varies by biology and age. For most people, however, getting less than 7 hours of sleep ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/z2hghnhe2gn4m3sph0/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZWRhaWx5LmNvbS9yZWxlYXNlcy8yMDI2LzAxLzI2MDEwODIzMTQxNC5odG0= ) per night is one of the strongest predictors of shorter life expectancy. (Insufficient sleep has a bigger impact on longevity than poor diet, social isolation and lack of physical activity. Only smoking is more dangerous.) Just as important is the timing of your sleep: One study ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/p8heh9h4wvm3p4tqh3/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudGhlZ3VhcmRpYW4uY29tL2xpZmVhbmRzdHlsZS8yMDE5L2phbi8yMS9zb2NpYWwtamV0bGFnLWFyZS1sYXRlLW5pZ2h0cy1hbmQtY2hhb3RpYy1zbGVlcC1wYXR0ZXJucy1tYWtpbmcteW91LWlsbA== ) found that students with irregular bedtimes do worse in class than those with consistent sleep schedules, even if everyone gets the same amount of ZZZs. For adults, irregular sleep schedules have been linked to dementia, insulin resistance and mental health problems ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/x0hph6hevgor49b5hl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZWRpcmVjdC5jb20vc2NpZW5jZS9hcnRpY2xlL2Ficy9waWkvUzEwODcwNzkyMjUwMDE1Nlg= ). So, how much sleep do you need? The best test is keeping track of how you feel when you wake up: Are you refreshed or tired? Do you nod off in the afternoon? If so, slightly increase your sleep — and, more important, get in bed at the same time each night. (There are lots of devices to help ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/6qheh8hl8qzk3oiohk/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2xlZXBmb3VuZGF0aW9uLm9yZy9iZXN0LXNsZWVwLXRyYWNrZXJz ).) For many years, bed attire included crowns, angels throwing toilet paper and multiple sleep partners. (Snoring in front of a celestial, however, was déclassé.) Okay, smart guy, so I need more sleep. But how do I actually do that? --------------------------------------------------------------------- Paradoxically, the most impactful thing you can do is get into the sunlight as soon as you wake up ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/kkhmh6hn07rdo4tlh7/aHR0cHM6Ly9saW5rLnNwcmluZ2VyLmNvbS9hcnRpY2xlLzEwLjExODYvczEyODg5LTAyNS0yNDYxOC04 ). The key here is to go outside — window glass disrupts the relevant light wavelengths — and start walking. When your optic nerve is exposed to sunlight and you start to move, it resets your circadian clock, which determines cortisol and melatonin levels later in the day and makes nighttime slumber easier. (There are also sunrise alarm clocks ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/58hvh7hgdeqv43b6h4/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vd2lyZWN1dHRlci9yZXZpZXdzL2Jlc3Qtc3VucmlzZS1hbGFybS1jbG9jay8= ) if you can't get outside.) Other things that might help: * Some supplements help us fall asleep — but they don't necessarily impact how long we stay in dreamland. (Every night I take Magnesium L-Threonate ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/25h2hoh3p56vq6c3h4/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbXpuLnRvLzQ0QjdJWWE= ), as well as Apigenin ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/qvh8h7hdmxz7lwblhk/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbXpuLnRvLzR2QTI4M2w= ) and L-Theanine ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/g3hnh5hm8vrd0wcrh9/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbXpuLnRvLzRmNXJEVmo= ), and it seems to work.) * Set your thermostat to the mid-60s, which studies say is the optimal slumber temperature. (If bedmates need different temperatures, there are lots of options, including AC systems ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/9qhzhnhdv70qemu9h3/aHR0cHM6Ly9iZWRqZXQuY29tL3Byb2R1Y3RzL2JlZGpldC0zLWNsaW1hdGUtY29tZm9ydC1zeXN0ZW0td2l0aC1iaW9yaHl0aG0tc2xlZXAtdGVjaG5vbG9neQ== ) for just one side of the bed and cooling mattress toppers ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/3ohphkh35w0ok5hrhn/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuY29uc3VtZXJyZXBvcnRzLm9yZy9ob21lLWdhcmRlbi9iZWQtY29vbGluZy1kZXZpY2VzL2Jlc3QtbWF0dHJlc3MtY29vbGluZy1wYWRzLWExMjE4NjkwODMyLw== ).) * There's also evidence that weighted blankets ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/n2hohvhv9dm8lzc6hg/aHR0cHM6Ly9ueW1hZy5jb20vc3RyYXRlZ2lzdC9hcnRpY2xlL2Jlc3Qtd2VpZ2h0ZWQtZ3Jhdml0eS1ibGFua2V0cy5odG1s ), fancy eye masks ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/48hvhehmdov57xhxh7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vd2lyZWN1dHRlci9yZXZpZXdzL21hbnRhLXNpbGstc2xlZXAtbWFzay1yZXZpZXcv ), whispering white noise machines ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/wnh2hghq2zn5llh7hx/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vd2lyZWN1dHRlci9yZXZpZXdzL2Jlc3Qtd2hpdGUtbm9pc2UtbWFjaGluZS8= ) and crazy headbands that 'hack' your sleeping brain ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/reh8hohml842opi2h6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vd2lyZWN1dHRlci9yZXZpZXdzL2JyYWluLXdhdmUtdHJhY2tpbmctc2xlZXAtd2VhcmFibGVzLw== ) may help you drift off. (Or maybe it's a placebo effect? Whatever it takes!) * And lavender oil aromatherapy ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/08hwh9h268vop8hlh5/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUMxMTcxMTc2Ni8= ) before bed, according to studies, actually works. Things that definitely don't help (but were once popular): * Putting a cold apple on your head, leaving a bowl of sliced onions next to your bed, or applying vinegar-soaked bread loaves ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/8ghqhoho64z08efkh9/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubWVudGFsZmxvc3MuY29tL2hpc3RvcnkvYml6YXJyZS1pbnNvbW5pYS1hZHZpY2UjaW5saW5lLXRleHQtMTY= ) to your feet. * Cutting a pigeon in half ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/vqh3hrho95lx6xtghl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuY25uLmNvbS8yMDIyLzAxLzA5L2hlYWx0aC9zbGVlcC1oaXN0b3J5LXdlbGxuZXNzLXNjbg== ) and taping it over your ears. (It also makes side-sleeping messy.) * Drinking poisons like nightshade (makes you sleepy! maybe forever!), Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/l2hehmhlmge0pnc6h0/aHR0cHM6Ly9tdXNldW0uZGVhLmdvdi9tdXNldW0tY29sbGVjdGlvbi9jb2xsZWN0aW9uLXNwb3RsaWdodC9hcnRpZmFjdC9zb290aGluZy1zeXJ1cA== ) (which contained a lot of morphine) and quaaludes (which might make you sleepy, but also cause your stereo to start playing funk and your pants to grow bell bottoms). Finally, if you are really having trouble, you should check out cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/m2h7h5h36rvgx9hmhq/aHR0cHM6Ly9zdGFuZm9yZGhlYWx0aGNhcmUub3JnL21lZGljYWwtdHJlYXRtZW50cy9jL2NvZ25pdGl2ZS1iZWhhdmlvcmFsLXRoZXJhcHktaW5zb21uaWEvcHJvY2VkdXJlcy5odG1s )), which studies say is the best method for overhauling disordered sleep patterns. It's intense, however: It involves strict sleep restrictions, significant diet changes, stimulus control and, usually, working with a therapist to re-design your basic sleep habits. That said, it's the most effective therapy according to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine. When you fall asleep at work, you find out who your true friends are. But what about when I'm traveling? Or camping? Or my spouse keeps snoring? Or I really love late-night TV? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- For traveling: We often have trouble sleeping on a plane because we're slightly anxious. Airline captain (and therapist) Tom Bunn created the SOAR method ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/dpheh0he93v4xwfmh4/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZmVhcm9mZmx5aW5nLmNvbS9hYm91dC8= ) to help you ease into dreamland. Also, having the right gear can help. (People on Reddit love this sleep pillow ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/e0hph7h73x6pz2t8h2/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbXpuLnRvLzR3RnhUYzg= ).) In a hotel room, we often suffer from "first-night effect ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/7qh7h8h92gqke4fzh6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2xlZXBjbGluaWMuYmUvd3AtY29udGVudC91cGxvYWRzL1RIRS1GSVJTVC1OSUdIVC1FRkZFQ1QtQU4tRUVHLVNUVURZLU9GLVNMRUVQLnBkZg== )," which is real and measurable, but can be combatted by traveling with things you associate with home. (Like lavender oil. Or morphine.) For camping (and other challenging sleep settings): Meta-analyses show Progressive Muscle Relaxation ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/owhkhqhwmzpke4uvhr/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cud2VibWQuY29tL3NsZWVwLWRpc29yZGVycy9tdXNjbGUtcmVsYXhhdGlvbi1mb3Itc3RyZXNzLWluc29tbmlh ) can be effective. (Starting with your face, deliberately tense your muscles for five seconds, then let them go slack; work your way down the rest of your body.) There are also practices — meditation, guided breath work, body scanning, self-hypnosis — that can induce deep physical and mental relaxation. (You can find some guides by googling "Non-Sleep Deep Rest ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/z2hghnhe2gn4z3aph0/aHR0cHM6Ly9vcGVuLnNwb3RpZnkuY29tL3RyYWNrLzFaVWpWSHJaV0VnNWE5ajg5UUw1YUU_YXV0b3BsYXlfb2s9MQ== )" or NSDR.) For snoring spouses: Consider a 'sleep divorce' by using separate bedrooms. Or, just use separate mattresses side-by-side, also known as the 'Scandinavian sleep arrangement'. (Sometimes it's movement, not sound, that wakes us up.) Or, tell them that the sound of a C-PAP machine makes you feel sexy. For exercise: All forms of exercise help us sleep, and studies show that Pilates ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/p8heh9h4wvm3e4uqh3/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUMxMTk4NzM5OS8= ) is particularly effective for slumber. However! Timing matters here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/x0hph6hevgorm9h5hl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmF0dXJlLmNvbS9hcnRpY2xlcy9zNDE1OTgtMDI1LTAyNjU5LTg= ): Exercising at high intensity four times per week, in sessions of 30 minutes or less, earlier in the day (at least four hours before bed) best improves sleep. For people who love late-night TV: Trashy TV (and social media) will keep you up. But reading that same delicious trash in book form will actually help you fall asleep. (I personally recommend Dungeon Crawler Carl ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/6qheh8hl8qzk4ocohk/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbXpuLnRvLzR3UDExMFE= ) as the perfect way to drift off. It also works as an audiobook!) How do you fall asleep? Has anything made a big difference in your bedtime ritual? Have you tried that pigeon thing? (I hope not.) Hit reply or let me know in the comments ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/kkhmh6hn07rdp4ulh7/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9pLzIwNzQ4NTYyOC93ZXJlLXlvdS1mb3J3YXJkZWQtdGhpcy1tZXNzYWdlLXNpZ24tdXAtZm9yLW15LW5ld3NsZXR0ZXI= )! Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/m2h7h5h36rvgl9fmhq/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9/58hvh7hgdeqvw3c6h4/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9yZXZpZXcvY3JlYXRlLXJldmlldy8_Y2hhbm5lbD1nbGFuY2UtZGV0YWlsJmFzaW49MDU5MzI0MzkxOQ== ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9 ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h59vdw7tohpz6eq39b9hvqpz9 )​ ​

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/25h2hoh3ppoo50a3h0/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more. ****************************** Help me make the right choice! ****************************** And how do I get my kids / spouse / coworkers to stop making dumb ones? Sometimes we make choices that, in retrospect, don't seem so wise once we're trapped in a playground structure. What happens inside our decision-making brain is kind of ... weird. ------------------------------------------------------------------- When researchers looked at how pilots, military officers, firefighters and surgeons made decisions, they found four distinct methods: Intuitive (go with your gut), Rule-Based (if-thens you've learned from experience), Analytic (compare two or more options) and Creative (improvise!). The key finding, though, is that most people default to one method, over and over again, whether it makes sense or not. (Which is why your Aunt Martha always brings that potato salad to Thanksgiving.) Some basic tips: * Treat these four methods as a toolkit, rather than a personality trait. Build the habit of asking yourself ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/qvh8h7hdmm66x0alhl/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUMyNDY0OTgzLw== ): which mode am I in, and is it the right one? (For Aunt Martha: maybe analytic is better than creative?) * Waiting for certainty is usually the wrong instinct. Better decisions come from committing to a choice ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/g3hnh5hm88zzvzcrhn/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM1NTc4NzU5Lw== ) — but then choosing deliberate reassessment points, which are on the calendar, where you can change your mind. * Remember that humans don’t automatically learn from failure ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/3ohphkh355ddw7irhk/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXBhLm9yZy9wdWJzL2pvdXJuYWxzL3JlbGVhc2VzL3hnZS14Z2UwMDAxNjEwLnBkZg== ) (though we often believe we do). Rather, studies show we tend to look away from bad choices because they're painful to remember. So force yourself to analyze what went wrong. (Aunt Martha, might we recall last year's vomitorium?) Finally, when studies look at 'superforecasters ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/wnh2hghq22oozgu7h3/aHR0cHM6Ly93ZWIuc3RhbmZvcmQuZWR1L35rbnV0c29uL2pkbS9tZWxsZXJzMTUucGRm )' — people who consistently make better choices — they found that IQ, fancy credentials, and domain expertise matters less than having the right cognitive habits. The best choosers: * Actively seek out views that contradict their own. * Think in probabilities rather than binary yes/no. * Keep score on past predictions rather than conveniently forgetting their mistakes. But how do I influence other people's decisions? ------------------------------------------------ To start, don't present them with too many choices. In one experiment ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/8ghqhoho66554zikhw/aHR0cHM6Ly9mYWN1bHR5Lndhc2hpbmd0b24uZWR1L2pkYi8zNDUvMzQ1JTIwQXJ0aWNsZXMvSXllbmdhciUyMCYlMjBMZXBwZXIlMjAoMjAwMCkucGRm ) grocery store customers were presented with 24 varieties of jam to sample and buy, while others were presented with just 6 varieties. Shoppers were much more likely to sample and buy when there were fewer choices. Why? Choice overload ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/l2hehmhlmmkkg7a6hl/aHR0cHM6Ly9lbi53aWtpcGVkaWEub3JnL3dpa2kvT3ZlcmNob2ljZQ== ) often paralyzes us. Second, figure out if the person ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/dpheh0he997739imhw/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuY2FtYnJpZGdlLm9yZy9jb3JlL3NlcnZpY2VzL2FvcC1jYW1icmlkZ2UtY29yZS9jb250ZW50L3ZpZXcvMDY1QTk1MDdDM0YxRjFFNTFCNkMyNEQyNzQ4MzNFQTEvUzE5MzAyOTc1MDAwMDA0ODZhLnBkZi9tYXhpbWl6ZXJzLXZlcnN1cy1zYXRpc2ZpY2Vycy1kZWNpc2lvbi1tYWtpbmctc3R5bGVzLWNvbXBldGVuY2UtYW5kLW91dGNvbWVzLnBkZg== ) you are talking to is a maximizer (they want to find the best choice) or a satisficer (any choice that works is okay). The tricky thing is, we're sometimes maximizers (I will only buy the finest blueberries!) while also being satisficers (but I don't care if my car is 12 different colors!) The only way to figure out what approach someone is using for this decision is to ask leading questions (so, if we're choosing between the best pen on earth, or something cheap with ink, how much do you care?). Finally, if someone feels like you are trying to control them ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/7qh7h8h92244gnizh3/aHR0cHM6Ly90aGVkZWNpc2lvbmxhYi5jb20vcmVmZXJlbmNlLWd1aWRlL3BzeWNob2xvZ3kvcmVhY3RhbmNlLXRoZW9yeQ== ) by limiting their choices (it's either eat dinner or go to your room!), they'll often make the choice that protects their autonomy (I hate you! I'm going to my room! Also, I'm starving!), even if it's suboptimal. On the other hand, if they feel limits are self-selected (what, pray tell, would you like to eat first from this plate of veggies?), they'll more often make the decision you're hoping for. Sponsored by Superhuman ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/kkhmh6hn009975slhm/aHR0cHM6Ly9zdXBlcmh1bWFuLmFpL3N1YnNjcmliZT91dG1fc291cmNlPWtpdF9hZHMmdXRtX21lZGl1bT0xOTI0MzYyLTI0NjA3Jmt0Y2xpZD1fX2tpdF9hZF9jbGlja19pZF9f ) The Gold Standard for AI News AI will eliminate 300 million jobs in the next 5 years. Yours doesn't have to be one of them. Here's how to future-proof your career: • Join the Superhuman AI newsletter – read by 1M+ professionals • Learn AI skills in 3 mins a day • Become the AI expert on your team --> Start learning AI now ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/kkhmh6hn009975slhm/aHR0cHM6Ly9zdXBlcmh1bWFuLmFpL3N1YnNjcmliZT91dG1fc291cmNlPWtpdF9hZHMmdXRtX21lZGl1bT0xOTI0MzYyLTI0NjA3Jmt0Y2xpZD1fX2tpdF9hZF9jbGlja19pZF9f ) Start learning AI now ( https://superhuman.ai/subscribe?utm_source=kit_ads&utm_medium=1924362-24607&ktclid=__kit_ad_click_id__ ) Okay, but let's get real: How do I influence my kids' decisions? Or my work colleagues' choices? (Or my own?) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Let's start with some basic hacks that can improve your and your co-workers' decision-making: * Decisions about simple issues (where should we go for lunch?) are best tackled with conscious thought. But decisions about complex matters (should we have a baby?) are better approached by adding unconscious deliberation to the mix. So, gather information consciously (Jim has a baby and he's rad!), and then stop thinking and do something else before making a decision ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/z2hghnhe22ddgzsphv/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYWxpY2UuaWQudHVlLm5sL3JlZmVyZW5jZXMvZGlqa3N0ZXJodWlzLW5vcmRncmVuLTIwMDYucGRm ) (maybe we should sleep on it?). * Look for people to give you advice ("what you want to do is ..."), but make sure they disagree with you ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/p8heh9h4ww77vvuqhz/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuY2FtYnJpZGdlLm9yZy9jb3JlL2pvdXJuYWxzL2p1ZGdtZW50LWFuZC1kZWNpc2lvbi1tYWtpbmcvYXJ0aWNsZS9zZWVraW5nLWFkdmljZS1hLXNhbXBsaW5nLWFwcHJvYWNoLXRvLWFkdmljZS10YWtpbmcvOUEwNjNEMDFCQkEyRDlDMkFFQTBENTM2MTBBN0I5MEQ= ). People often unconsciously seek advisors with similar views, which creates a false sense of certainty. Instead, find an argumentative jerk — and then figure out why they're wrong (or admit they've got a point.) When it comes to teaching your kids to make good decisions: * Help them learn how to listen to their gut ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/kkhmh6hn0098g5flhm/aHR0cHM6Ly91d2F0ZXJsb28uY2EvbmV3cy9uZXdzL3lvdW5nZXItY2hpbGRyZW4tdGVuZC1tYWtlLW1vcmUtaW5mb3JtZWQtZGVjaXNpb25z ). One experiment found that younger children actually make slightly better decisions than older children — because the older they got, the more they tended to ignore additional information and rely on social cues. So, teaching kids to slow down and ask themselves "what am I ignoring?" is more helpful than "here's how to find the right answer." * Also, let them feel regret over a bad choice ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/25h2hoh3ppo7r0t3h0/aHR0cHM6Ly9vbmxpbmVsaWJyYXJ5LndpbGV5LmNvbS9kb2kvZnVsbC8xMC4xMTExL2NkZXYuMTIyNTM= ). Our instinct, as parents, is to make our kids feel better when they screw up. But a series of experiments showed that children who experience regret after a bad decision make better decisions in the future. Regret forces us to learn ("what would have happened if I chose differently?"). Sitting with a negative feeling is how we improve. When it comes to really big decisions (should I take that new job or not?): * Pretend you are six months in the future ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/qvh8h7hdmm68g0tlhl/aHR0cHM6Ly9oYnIub3JnLzIwMjMvMDMvc2hvdWxkLXlvdS1xdWl0LXlvdXItam9iI3NlbGVjdGlvbi0xMDEzLjUtMTY2My43MTk= ). The fear of quitting, for instance, is almost always anchored to visible, short-term losses. So, instead, ask yourself about the odds that you'll be happy in six months in your current job ("zero percent"), versus the odds you'll be happy in a new job ("I don't know"). "I don't know" probably beats zero. * And, if you're wondering how should I evaluate a job offer?, luckily there's a really good Reddit post ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/g3hnh5hm88ze7zirhn/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVkZGl0LmNvbS9yL2NhcmVlcmd1aWRhbmNlL2NvbW1lbnRzL2ptczRsMi93aGF0X2ltcG9ydGFudF9mYWN0b3JzX2RvX3lvdV9sb29rX2F0X3doZW4v ) on that! This baker decided to toss out a batch of dough - without asking himself 'what about the yeast?' Recommendations! ---------------- Some readers said they like it when I make recommendations, and wanted more. So here you go! A BOOK YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY READ: Angel Down ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/9qhzhnhdvv2gkgs9hn/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbXpuLnRvLzRwZmFlZ2Y= ), which won the Pulitzer this year. The author usually writes sci-fi and horror, and so it's kind of crazy he wrote this book (and that it won). The entire book is one long sentence — which sounds annoying, but is actually awesome. TWO INSTAGRAM ACCOUNTS I LOVE are IAmThirtyAF ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/3ohphkh355dq67brhk/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuaW5zdGFncmFtLmNvbS9pYW10aGlydHlhZi8= ) (even though I am older than 30, which isn't actually all that old?). And, if you have a spouse who runs ultramarathons (my condolences) I recommend YaBoyScottJurek ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/n2hohvhv99onwvb6h3/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuaW5zdGFncmFtLmNvbS95YWJveXNjb3R0anVyZWsv ), most of which I don't understand (but my wife does). THINGS TO WATCH AND LISTEN TO: Have you ever wondered what happens if a famous musician does karaoke and no one realizes who he is? You're in luck! ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/48hvhehmdd20z6sxh2/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vd2F0Y2g_dj03eEwzTzRZQVJHSQ== ) And if you are, in fact, older than thirty, odds are good you'll like this cover of Fade Into You ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/wnh2hghq22or9ga7h3/aHR0cHM6Ly9vcGVuLnNwb3RpZnkuY29tL2FsYnVtLzFoQlhjVnRTaWFZa2ZsSWlxalFmQVY= ) or this cover of Jesus Etc ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/reh8hohmll5q9nb2h7/aHR0cHM6Ly9vcGVuLnNwb3RpZnkuY29tL3RyYWNrLzd5dDEwSGFCNFBnMGM3cG5jeHpxSXA_c2k9MDNhZWMzZGY4ZTM4NGExOA== ). Finally, if you are watching the World Cup, let me recommend viewing it on Telemundo ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/08hwh9h2667m0nclh6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudGVsZW11bmRvLmNvbS9kZXBvcnRlcy9jb3BhLW11bmRpYWwtZGUtbGEtZmlmYS0yMDI2 ), which is the only way to watch it for free in our household, and is fantastic. (Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooal!) What's the best decision you ever made? How did you make it? Hit reply and let me know or tell us in the comments ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/8ghqhoho665gezbkhw/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9pLzIwNjIyMTA2MC93ZXJlLXlvdS1mb3J3YXJkZWQtdGhpcy1tZXNzYWdlLXNpZ24tdXAtZm9yLW15LW5ld3NsZXR0ZXI= )! Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/25h2hoh3ppoo50a3h0/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x/vqh3hrho99kn20hghn/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9yZXZpZXcvY3JlYXRlLXJldmlldy8_Y2hhbm5lbD1nbGFuY2UtZGV0YWlsJmFzaW49MDU5MzI0MzkxOQ== ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/qdug85lmk3b7h495l58ulh8nk8p2du4h9eo3x )​ ​

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/e0hph7h73l6vlkt8h2/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more. ********************************************** Must I drink green smoothies and wear spandex? ********************************************** There are so many health tips competing for our attention. (Supplements! Cold plunges! Wearables! Fibermaxxing!) So what actually moves the needle? A quick thank you: The survey. ------------------------------ Thank you to the thousands of you that responded. We're working on something new for The Science of Better, and your suggestions will make it great. If you didn't get a chance, you can find the survey here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/7qh7h8h926ql6oizh6/aHR0cHM6Ly9kb2NzLmdvb2dsZS5jb20vZm9ybXMvZC9lLzFGQUlwUUxTYzFvVkd0UkxEVGs2eEE2am5BTlhQVlFCbF9TMUtpekgtLWI1TVJRcnVUQk4tYmxnL3ZpZXdmb3Jt ). (Along with a book giveaway!) There's been a lot of weird health advice over the years. --------------------------------------------------------- In the 1920s, companies began putting the radioactive element radium in everything ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/z2hghnhe2kn6kphph0/aHR0cHM6Ly9lbi53aWtpcGVkaWEub3JnL3dpa2kvUmFkaXVtX2ZhZA== ): water, toothpaste, face cream, even crockpots, on the theory that "energy from atoms" must be good for you. (It wasn't: Golf champion Eben Byers ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/x0hph6hevpo2pxi5hl/aHR0cHM6Ly9lbi53aWtpcGVkaWEub3JnL3dpa2kvRWJlbl9CeWVycw== ) drank 1,400 bottles of radium water on doctor's orders and then died of radiation poisoning.) Next came surgically implanted goat testicles ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/58hvh7hgdnqxnxa6h4/aHR0cHM6Ly9lbi53aWtpcGVkaWEub3JnL3dpa2kvSm9obl9SLl9Ccmlua2xleQ== ), put into men to improve their virility, cure insanity, and prevent the flu. (Didn't work, especially for the goats.) When Dr. John Harvey Kellogg invented Corn Flakes, it was purposely bland because he intended it to stop masturbation ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/g3hnh5hm8lr9l8brh9/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubWVudGFsZmxvc3MuY29tL2Zvb2QvY29ybi1mbGFrZXMtd2VyZS1pbnZlbnRlZC1wYXJ0LWFudGktbWFzdHVyYmF0aW9uLWNydXNhZGU= ). (Jury's still out.) And doctors sometimes blew tobacco-smoke up patients' rectums ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/3ohphkh3520m2pcrhn/aHR0cHM6Ly9lbi53aWtpcGVkaWEub3JnL3dpa2kvVG9iYWNjb19zbW9rZV9lbmVtYQ== ) to boost their energy. (Also didn't work, but did give us the expression "blowing smoke".) You must admire people's dedication to tracking their runs. Okay, but exercise is good, right? (What should I do?) ------------------------------------------------------ It's true! Exercise keeps you healthy! And it doesn't take much. The most valuable part of exercise is the jump from being sedentary to a bit more active ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/48hvhehmdpvlp3fxh7/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM5NjM5NTk3Lw== ): People who exercise for just 50 minutes per week see a 30% drop in mortality, and it only takes three daily bursts ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/wnh2hghq2kn7kzi7hx/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmF0dXJlLmNvbS9hcnRpY2xlcy9zNDE1OTEtMDIyLTAyMTAwLXg= ) of activity — like walking fast for two minutes, or climbing a few flights of stairs, or gardening — to get most of that benefit. (Don't worry about 10,000 steps a day — that number was invented by an advertising firm for a 1960 Japanese pedometer ad. Actual data shows the biggest benefit comes from walking 5,000 to 7,000 ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/reh8hohml34d79c2h6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudGhlbGFuY2V0LmNvbS9qb3VybmFscy9sYW5wdWIvYXJ0aWNsZS9QSUlTMjQ2OC0yNjY3KDI1KTAwMTY0LTEvZnVsbHRleHQ= ) steps.) But you're more ambitious than that! You want the big muscles and endless pep! The best health benefits come from 20 to 30 minutes of daily exercise. A simple routine will do the trick, like The Fitness Wiki's ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/08hwh9h269vexoulh5/aHR0cHM6Ly90aGVmaXRuZXNzLndpa2kvcm91dGluZXMv ) free, evidence-based workouts for beginners ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/vqh3hrho9vl044hghl/aHR0cHM6Ly90aGVmaXRuZXNzLndpa2kvcm91dGluZXMvci1maXRuZXNzLWJhc2ljLWJlZ2lubmVyLXJvdXRpbmUv ), runners ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/l2hehmhlmne24vu6h0/aHR0cHM6Ly90aGVmaXRuZXNzLndpa2kvcm91dGluZXMvY2FyZGlvLWFuZC1jb25kaXRpb25pbmcv ), staying limber ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/m2h7h5h36qv597cmhq/aHR0cHM6Ly90aGVmaXRuZXNzLndpa2kvcm91dGluZXMvZmxleGliaWxpdHktbW9iaWxpdHkv ) and everyone else. That said, the very best workout is whichever one you'll do consistently. I use the app FitBod ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/dpheh0he9ov6k7smh4/aHR0cHM6Ly9maXRib2QubWUv ) because it takes away all my decision making. (I'm not sponsored by them or anyone else mentioned.) Or, you can hire a personal trainer for not much money, and let them motivate you. Find someone local at FindYourTrainer.com ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/e0hph7h73l6veku8h2/aHR0cHM6Ly9maW5keW91cnRyYWluZXIuY29tLw== ) or online at FuturePro ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/7qh7h8h926ql8obzh6/aHR0cHM6Ly9mdXR1cmUuY28v ) or eCoach ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/owhkhqhwm6p9nwtvhr/aHR0cHM6Ly9lY2hlbG9uY29hY2guY29tL3ZpcnR1YWxwdC9vdXItcGxhbnMucGhw ). What about food? What should I eat? ----------------------------------- You know the basic answer ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/z2hghnhe2kn67puph0/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAwNy8wMS8yOC9tYWdhemluZS8yOG51dHJpdGlvbmlzbS50Lmh0bWw= ): Eat real food. Mostly plants. Not too much. ("Avoid anything your great grandmother wouldn't recognize.") Also, eat more fiber: Roughly 95% of Americans fall short of their fiber needs. And fiber-rich diets ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/p8heh9h4w2m6dxsqh3/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmF0aW9uYWxnZW9ncmFwaGljLmNvbS9oZWFsdGgvYXJ0aWNsZS9maWJlci10eXBlcy1ndXQtbWljcm9iaW9tZS1oZWFsdGgtYmVuZWZpdHM= ) are tied to lower blood pressure, less cardiovascular disease, reduced blood sugar spikes and healthier gut microbiomes, which reduce inflammation and might increase brain health. So how do we achieve Fibermaxxing ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/x0hph6hevpo2zxf5hl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnByLm9yZy8yMDI2LzA1LzE4L254LXMxLTU4MjE1OTgvZmliZXJtYXh4aW5nLWhlYWx0aHktZmliZXItZm9vZHMtZGlldC1iZW5lZml0cw== )? Easy: eat beans, lentils, oats, fruit, vegetables (particularly leafy ones), whole grains and nuts. If you have a salad for lunch, you're good. And it's okay to eat frozen fruits and vegetables ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/6qheh8hl85zrwxuohk/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmF0aW9uYWxnZW9ncmFwaGljLmNvbS9oZWFsdGgvYXJ0aWNsZS9mcm96ZW4tZnJ1aXRzLXZlZ2V0YWJsZXMtcHJvZHVjZQ== ) (research shows they're sometimes more nutritious than fresh produce because they're picked near peak ripeness and immediately frozen). Also, potatoes are sneakily healthy ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/kkhmh6hn05rwerflh7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyNS8xMS8xMC93ZWxsL2VhdC9wb3RhdG9lcy1oZWFsdGgtYmVuZWZpdHMtcmVjaXBlcy5odG1s ) (as long as they aren't fried) because they contain lots of potassium, vitamin C, fiber and prebiotics. (They're also #1 on the 'Satiety Index ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/58hvh7hgdnqx0xs6h4/aHR0cDovL3d3dy5lcm5hZWhydW5nc2Rlbmt3ZXJrc3RhdHQuZGUvZmlsZWFkbWluL3VzZXJfdXBsb2FkL0VEV1RleHQvVGV4dEVsZW1lbnRlL0VybmFlaHJ1bmdzd2lzc2Vuc2NoYWZ0L05hZWhyc3RvZmZlL1NhZXR0aWd1bmdfTGViZW5zbWl0dGVsX1NhdGlldHlfSW5kZXgucGRm )', which means they make you feel full.) And dark chocolate: It turns out you'd have to ​eat a calorically catastrophic​ ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/25h2hoh3p869gwa3h4/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM5MTcwNDY3Lw== ) amount of dark chocolate to see any cardiovascular benefits (despite what chocolate companies say). But dark chocolate tastes really good. So go ahead and dip your fruit. But there's all those supplements! And cold plunges! And weird peptides. Should I use those? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There's nothing wrong with supplements: taking vitamins B6, B12, C, D, E, omega-3s and folic acid in pill form are weakly correlated with lower mortality rates. Taking creatine monohydrate can help with cognition and energy ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/qvh8h7hdm4zwv5ilhk/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ3NzaXdlYi5vcmcvc3BvcnRzLXNjaWVuY2UtZXhjaGFuZ2UvYXJ0aWNsZS90aGUtc2FmZXR5LWFuZC1lZmZpY2FjeS1vZi1jcmVhdGluZS1tb25vaHlkcmF0ZS1zdXBwbGVtZW50YXRpb24td2hhdC13ZS1oYXZlLWxlYXJuZWQtZnJvbS10aGUtcGFzdC0yNS15ZWFycy1vZi1yZXNlYXJjaA== ) and maintaining muscle mass (as long as you're exercising). Each night I take the 'Huberman sleep stack ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/g3hnh5hm8lr9n8urh9/aHR0cHM6Ly9haS5odWJlcm1hbmxhYi5jb20vcy80ZFIwSG5ZWg== )' (Magnesium L-Threonate, Apigenin and L-Theanine) and it helps me slumber. But you know what's more fun than a bunch of pills? * Saunas: People who sweat it out 4 to 7 times a week ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/9qhzhnhdv60wxot9h3/aHR0cHM6Ly9wcmV2aWV3LmtpdC1tYWlsMy5jb20vY2xpY2svZHBoZWgwaHpobWg0L2FIUjBjSE02THk5d2RXSnRaV1F1Ym1OaWFTNXViRzB1Ym1sb0xtZHZkaTh5TlRjd05UZ3lOQzg9 ) have a 40% lower risk of dying from heart attacks, cancer and other diseases. * Spending time with other people: Strong social relationships are associated with a 50% increase in the odds of living longer ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/3ohphkh3520mrpirhn/aHR0cHM6Ly9wcmV2aWV3LmtpdC1tYWlsMy5jb20vY2xpY2svZHBoZWgwaHpobWg0L2FIUjBjSE02THk5d2JXTXVibU5pYVM1dWJHMHVibWxvTG1kdmRpOWhjblJwWTJ4bGN5OVFUVU15T1RFd05qQXdMdz09 ), comparable to quitting smoking. * Sex: One study found people with the highest orgasm frequency ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/n2hohvhv9xmqglb6hg/aHR0cHM6Ly9wcmV2aWV3LmtpdC1tYWlsMy5jb20vY2xpY2svZHBoZWgwaHpobWg0L2FIUjBjSE02THk5d2RXSnRaV1F1Ym1OaWFTNXViRzB1Ym1sb0xtZHZkaTg1TkRRNE5USTFMejlrYjNCMFBVRmljM1J5WVdOMFVHeDFjdz09 ) had half the mortality of the least active. * Owning a pet that requires walking: A meta-analysis of 3.8 million dog owners ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/48hvhehmdpvl93cxh7/aHR0cHM6Ly9wcmV2aWV3LmtpdC1tYWlsMy5jb20vY2xpY2svZHBoZWgwaHpobWg0L2FIUjBjSE02THk5M2QzY3VZV2hoYW05MWNtNWhiSE11YjNKbkwyUnZhUzh4TUM0eE1UWXhMMk5wY21OdmRYUmpiMjFsY3k0eE1Ua3VNREExTlRVMA== ) found 24% lower mortality rates. * Coffee: It's not the caffeine but the hundreds of plant compounds in the bean; coffee is basically a vegetable we drink. * Doing nothing in the sun: A 20-year Swedish study of 30,000 women ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/wnh2hghq2kn74zb7hx/aHR0cHM6Ly9wcmV2aWV3LmtpdC1tYWlsMy5jb20vY2xpY2svZHBoZWgwaHpobWg0L2FIUjBjSE02THk5dmJteHBibVZzYVdKeVlYSjVMbmRwYkdWNUxtTnZiUzlrYjJrdk1UQXVNVEV4TVM5cWIybHRMakV5TkRrMg== ) found sun avoidance was a mortality risk on par with smoking — but you still need to use sunscreen. And, sure, if you enjoy a cold plunge, go for it. (They can temporarily lower stress, help you sleep better ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/reh8hohml34dv9a2h6/aHR0cHM6Ly9qb3VybmFscy5wbG9zLm9yZy9wbG9zb25lL2FydGljbGU_aWQ9MTAuMTM3MSUyRmpvdXJuYWwucG9uZS4wMzE3NjE1 ) and prevent muscle soreness. They do, however, make it harder to have more sex, because your partner is sick of your cold feet and hearing about how great cold plunges are.) That said, when it comes to random peptides off the internet, don't be an idiot ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/08hwh9h269vewoalh5/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmV3eW9ya2VyLmNvbS9tYWdhemluZS8yMDI2LzA0LzEzL3doeS1hcmUtcGVvcGxlLWluamVjdGluZy10aGVtc2VsdmVzLXdpdGgtcGVwdGlkZXM= ). Unless a doctor prescribed them, they're probably not a great idea. I'm trying to figure out if this newsletter is, on average, too long? Or just right? Do you like what I'm writing about? What else do you crave? If you have an opinion (on anything!) hit reply and let me know or tell me in the comments ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/8ghqhoho62zdp2ckh9/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9pLzIwMjY1MjQxMS93ZXJlLXlvdS1mb3J3YXJkZWQtdGhpcy1tZXNzYWdlLXNpZ24tdXAtZm9yLW15LW5ld3NsZXR0ZXI= ). Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/e0hph7h73l6vlkt8h2/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804/vqh3hrho9vl034sghl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9yZXZpZXcvY3JlYXRlLXJldmlldy8_Y2hhbm5lbD1nbGFuY2UtZGV0YWlsJmFzaW49MDU5MzI0MzkxOQ== ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804 ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hpvgp2pb5h2ek3n0kcnhme804 )​ ​

​ ​ Hi, I'm working on something new. For a while, readers have told me they want more than a newsletter. You've told me you want a place to practice these ideas, to ask questions, to connect with people trying to get better. Workshops, maybe. A community, possibly. Something that actually helps you use this stuff, instead of just read about it. Before I build anything, I want to understand what would be actually useful. So I put together a very short survey. Your answers will directly shape what I build. And as a thank you: I'll randomly select a handful of readers who complete the survey by June 22nd and send them a free, signed copy of whichever of my books you want. ​Take the survey here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.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 )​ Thank you, Charles Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/27ul25976pioh8pkopri3hg9vkdv8hghv2kde/l2hehmhl9grg7ks6h0/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/27ul25976pioh8pkopri3hg9vkdv8hghv2kde ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/27ul25976pioh8pkopri3hg9vkdv8hghv2kde )​ ​

​ ​ ************************************************ Is reading this on your phone going to kill you? ************************************************ We all know our phones, supposedly, are making us dumber and more boring and less healthy. But is that really true? A QUICK NOTE! I'm working on something new for The Science of Better readers (workshops! communities!) and I want to get it right. So, in the next few weeks, I'm going to send you a short survey with just a few questions. I’d love to hear what you think might improve your life. When art criticizes tech, it gets clever. Is tech bad for me? ------------------- Actually, most tech is good for you. A century ago, housework consumed about 58 hours ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/vqh3hrho7rnmogbghl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmJlci5vcmcvcGFwZXJzL3czMjI1Mw== ) per week. Today, it takes just 10 hours ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/l2hehmhl97oqlwh6h0/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmxzLmdvdi9jaGFydHMvYW1lcmljYW4tdGltZS11c2UvYWN0aXZpdHktYnktaGxkaC5odG0= ) because of dish washers and microwaves. Technologies like air conditioning ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/m2h7h5h3pzo232tmhq/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuam91cm5hbHMudWNoaWNhZ28uZWR1L2RvaS8xMC4xMDg2LzY4NDU4Mg== ) and indoor toilets ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/dpheh0hegnqdevumh4/aHR0cHM6Ly92b3hkZXYub3JnL3ZveGRldmxpdC9zYW5pdGF0aW9uLWluZnJhc3RydWN0dXJlL3dlbGZhcmUtZWZmZWN0cy1pbnZlc3RtZW50LXNhbml0YXRpb24taW5mcmFzdHJ1Y3R1cmU= ) have saved more lives than vaccines or antibiotics. But you're not thinking about those kinds of technologies! You're worried about iPhones and TikTok and Insta! Too much screen time rots the brain, right? Well, it's nuanced. A study of 120,000 teenagers ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/e0hph7h7gokm7vt8h2/aHR0cHM6Ly9qb3VybmFscy5zYWdlcHViLmNvbS9kb2kvMTAuMTE3Ny8wOTU2Nzk3NjE2Njc4NDM4 ) found that some screen time is better than none, but too much can make you miserable. People who spend about two hours a day surfing online are happy — but more than three hours is linked to ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/owhkhqhwvd4xwvsvhr/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmVyYS5hYy51ay9ibG9nL3NvY2lhbC1tZWRpYS1hbmQtbWVudGFsLWhlYWx0aC11bmRlcnN0YW5kaW5nLXRoZS10aHJlc2hvbGQtZWZmZWN0LWFtb25nLXlvdW5nLWFkdWx0cw== ) anxiety and self-esteem issues. What really matters is what you are doing online. Viewing 'upward social comparisons' ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/z2hghnhevxo5e2cph0/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudGFuZGZvbmxpbmUuY29tL2RvaS9mdWxsLzEwLjEwODAvMTUyMTMyNjkuMjAyMy4yMTgwNjQ3 ) — such as posts from beautiful influencers about their awesome lives — makes us feel terrible. Also, watching 'video shorts' ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/p8heh9h40o9r4ncqh3/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUMxMTIzNjc0Mi8= )trains our brain, at the neural level, to prefer rapid stimulus switching, which makes it harder to focus and easier to feel bored. So what kinds of online activity make us feel better? * Looking at posts written by people we actually know. Like, in real life. And then having a conversation with them in the comments. * Learning something real ("what is turbulence ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/x0hph6he60nkeqa5hl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vd2F0Y2g_dj01d1E5bkFsTzEyRQ== )?"). Bonus: You can't learn something real in a video short! It usually has to be longer than 30 seconds! * Watching something that makes you laugh ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/6qheh8hlgepxl3hohk/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vdXNlci9TYXR1cmRheU5pZ2h0TGl2ZQ== ). Or watching a documentary ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/kkhmh6hnqv8znptlh7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vQGtlbmJ1cm5zcGJz ). Or a show you love ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/58hvh7hg8253geu6h4/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vcGxheWxpc3Q_bGlzdD1QTE83OWlQNjlGYVpNQVF1MHQ2OTZCRzJGMGZ1cmI3b19U ). * Basically, anything except short videos fed to you by an algorithm. When you make choices about what you see, you're happy. When you abandon that choice to Facebook, you aren't. But how do I spend less time online? It's hard! ----------------------------------------------- First, you don't have to change everything: Partial tech detoxes ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/25h2hoh3zw7l4rs3h4/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ2VvcmdldG93bi5lZHUvbmV3cy9kaWdpdGFsLWRldG94LXJlZHVjZS1zY3JlZW4tdGltZS1iZW5lZml0cy8= ) are just as effective as going cold turkey. The key is to choose a few times, each day, when you won't check your phone. And most important: Decide what you will do instead. ("Today, when I'm at lunch, I'll read my novel instead of checking IG — so I need to carry a book with me.") Another important tip: DO NOT CHARGE YOUR PHONE IN YOUR BEDROOM. Tons of studies show that smartphone use in bed makes it harder to fall asleep, raises your heart rate, and injects adrenaline and cortisol into your bloodstream. So power up in your office or the hallway and you'll sleep better. Other science-backed tips: * ​Set your phone to grayscale ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/qvh8h7hd5p8eo7blhk/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudHJ5a29uZG8uY29tL2Jsb2cvZ3JheXNjYWxlLXBob25lLWFkZGljdGlvbg== ). It makes everything just a little bit more boring, and thus less alluring. * Move social apps to the third screen ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/g3hnh5hm5weg6larh9/aHR0cHM6Ly9ueW1hZy5jb20vc3RyYXRlZ2lzdC9hcnRpY2xlL2hvdy10by11c2UteW91ci1waG9uZS1sZXNzLmh0bWw= ) on your phone. Or bury them in a folder. * Make a “whoever uses their phone first pays for drinks” rule. * Get a device like a halo ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/9qhzhnhdmrg4zxu9h3/aHR0cHM6Ly9zY3JlZW56ZW4uY28vcHJvZHVjdHMvaGFsbz9pbV9yZWY9MUZLejJyWDZweHljV3lkWElyUUZLemEzVWt1V3JwU3RRVnljVWswJnNoYXJlZGlkPSZpcnBpZD00MTE2NDgmaXJnd2M9MSZhZnNyYz0x ) or the Brick ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/3ohphkh3lgqx49urhn/aHR0cHM6Ly9nZXRicmljay5jb20vcHJvZHVjdHMvdGhlLWJyaWNr ) that disables certain apps in specific places (no IG in my bedroom) or on a specific schedule (no email before 9 am). * Try Screen Zen ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/n2hohvhvp0n26kc6hg/aHR0cHM6Ly9zY3JlZW56ZW4uY28v ) (sets time limits on certain apps), One Sec ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/48hvhehme80w62ixh7/aHR0cHM6Ly9vbmUtc2VjLmFwcC8= ) (forces you to take a breath, or explain why your going on social media, before opening an app), Clear Space ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/wnh2hghqp6rmxri7hx/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ2V0Y2xlYXJzcGFjZS5jb20vcHJvZHVjdA== ) (complete a centering exercise before opening an app) or Opal ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/reh8hohmrzqkw0t2h6/aHR0cHM6Ly9vcGFsYXBwLmNvbS8= ) (sets app use rules and gives you a daily score measuring sleep, focus and screen time). Finally (and strangely), don't assume more outdoor time will cut down on phone use. One study ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/08hwh9h25rmng2ilh5/aHR0cHM6Ly9qb3VybmFscy5zYWdlcHViLmNvbS9kb2kvMTAuMTE3Ny8wMDEzOTE2NTIzMTE2NzE2NQ== ) tracking GPS location and phone data found that smartphone activity increased during visits to parks. Why? Because it's easier to get bored in nature. The lesson is: Don't just abandon your phone. Instead, choose something else to do — and plan for it. (Remember when everyone used to carry a magazine?) Okay, but what if I want to go genuinely hardcore? -------------------------------------------------- If you really feel like your phone is taking over your life, you should get a Light Phone III ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/8ghqhohovngwqqtkh9/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudGhlbGlnaHRwaG9uZS5jb20vbGlnaHRpaWk= ) (I got one for my kid). It has all the basics of a smartphone, like music and maps and texting. But it can't host social media apps (and even if it did, they would look terrible.) You'd be surprised how easy it is to transition. Or, you could always move to Green Bank, West Virginia ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/vqh3hrho7rnmegcghl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cud2FzaGluZ3RvbnBvc3QuY29tL3N0eWxlL29mLWludGVyZXN0LzIwMjQvMTAvMTgvZ3JlZW4tYmFuay13ZXN0LXZpcmdpbmlhLXd2LWVsZWN0cm9zZW5zaXRpdmUtY2VsbC1zZXJ2aWNlLw== ) — a federally mandated cell-phone dead zone, established in 1958, to protect a radio telescope. It's become a vacation spot for people who say they are allergic to electromagnetic signals ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/l2hehmhl97oq6ws6h0/aHR0cHM6Ly9lbi53aWtpcGVkaWEub3JnL3dpa2kvRWxlY3Ryb21hZ25ldGljX2h5cGVyc2Vuc2l0aXZpdHk= ). And its the only place in America where being offline is the law. (To learn what it's like to live there, check out this reddit thread ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/m2h7h5h3pzo2m2umhq/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVkZGl0LmNvbS9yL1dlc3RWaXJnaW5pYS9jb21tZW50cy8xbTg1dXh3L3doYXRzX2xpZmVfbGlrZV9pbl9ncmVlbl9iYW5rLw== ).) How do you limit your tech use? Are you worried you use your phone too much? (Or are you like, ahh, this is an overblown anxiety?) Let me know in the comments! ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/dpheh0hegnqd8vamh4/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9pLzIwMDc5NDM4My9ob3ctZG8teW91LWxpbWl0LXlvdXItdGVjaC11c2UtYXJlLXlvdS13b3JyaWVkLXlvdS11c2UteW91ci1waG9uZS10b28tbXVjaC1vci1hcmUteW91LWxpa2UtYWhoLXRoaXMtaXMtYW4tb3ZlcmJsb3duLWFueGlldHktbGV0LW1lLWtub3ctaW4tdGhlLWNvbW1lbnRz )​ Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/e0hph7h7gokmqvu8h2/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w/7qh7h8h9750dw5tzh6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9yZXZpZXcvY3JlYXRlLXJldmlldy8_Y2hhbm5lbD1nbGFuY2UtZGV0YWlsJmFzaW49MDU5MzI0MzkxOQ== ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/75uz70vpkrt8h62w5optzhw4m4lmwtnhg2m4w )​ ​

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hog23oobmhz9drr8pblh3xg8d/x0hph6he6lmn5nh5/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more. ******** Read me! ******** Summer is almost here — so why not pick up some new reading material for the beach? (Or the hammock, or the couch, or an audiobook for a long drive ...) ​ A Hollywood super agent describing celebrity tantrums? Stories of financial hijinks amid A-list bumbleheads? And, best of all, co-written with Pulitzer prize winner J. R. Moehringer, who wrote Andre Aggasi's Open? C'mon. This is going to be amazing. (Get it September 22 ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hog23oobmhz9drr8pblh3xg8d/25h2hoh3zex7kdb3/aHR0cHM6Ly9ib29rc2hvcC5vcmcvcC9ib29rcy91bnRpdGxlZC05MzQ3LWtub3BmLzc2OGM5MmZmYmNjZjNlZTc_ZWFuPTk3OTgyMTcyMDkzNDc= ).) ​ Why do we connect easily with some people, but not others? How can we can create stronger bonds faster? Let Wharton professor Adam Grant take you on a tour of astronauts who dislike each other, comedy troupes that avoid one another, and a band that fights like crazy — and how that makes them connect even better. (Get it October 13 ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hog23oobmhz9drr8pblh3xg8d/3ohphkh3ln8qemfr/aHR0cHM6Ly9ib29rc2hvcC5vcmcvcC9ib29rcy92aWJlLXRoZS1zZWNyZXRzLW9mLXN0cm9uZy1jb25uZWN0aW9ucy1pbi1hLWxvbmVseS13b3JsZC1hZGFtLWdyYW50LzVhODExZWY4ZDFjYzYyYTE_ZWFuPTk3OTgyMTcwNTk3MDYmbmV4dD10 ).) ​ From the author of Station Eleven and Sea of Tranquility, a novel about what happens during the first spring after the collapse of the United States in 2031. (Get it September 15 ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hog23oobmhz9drr8pblh3xg8d/n2hohvhvpk4nz0b6/aHR0cHM6Ly9ib29rc2hvcC5vcmcvcC9ib29rcy9leGl0LXBhcnR5LWEtbm92ZWwtZW1pbHktc3Qtam9obi1tYW5kZWwvM2VmMTM3MzYwYWVkMThhZT9lYW49OTc4MDU5MzMyMTQ2MQ== ).) ​ One of my favorite writers, David Epstein, explains how all of us —individuals, businesses, institutions, even societies — can benefit from narrowing our options. Sometimes we make our best choices when we don't have the freedom to make any choice we want. (Already published! ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hog23oobmhz9drr8pblh3xg8d/48hvhehmen304ebx/aHR0cHM6Ly9ib29rc2hvcC5vcmcvcC9ib29rcy9pbnNpZGUtdGhlLWJveC1ob3ctY29uc3RyYWludHMtbWFrZS11cy1iZXR0ZXItZGF2aWQtZXBzdGVpbi8yMzEwMDM3ND9lYW49OTc4MDU5MzcxNTcxMA== )) ​ As Jon Ronson's only child is lured to a mysterious castle in the forest, he sends his dad on an adventure examining modern masculinity, how men desperately search for purpose and control, and why two recently released murderers really want to talk to him. (Get it September 1. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hog23oobmhz9drr8pblh3xg8d/wnh2hghqp3dre2i7/aHR0cHM6Ly9ib29rc2hvcC5vcmcvcC9ib29rcy90aGUtY2FzdGxlLWFkdmVudHVyZXMtaW4tYS13b3JsZC1vZi11bnJhdmVsaW5nLW1lbi1qb24tcm9uc29uL2FiNmFmMzExMDVhOWJmMjQ_ZWFuPTk3ODE1OTQ2MzQyMDg= )) ​ One of my favorite researchers, Nicholas Epley from the University of Chicago, asks why we choose so often to be unsocial, and how to seize the small, unexpected moments that allow us to connect with almost anyone. (Available now! ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hog23oobmhz9drr8pblh3xg8d/reh8hohmrepqggu2/aHR0cHM6Ly9ib29rc2hvcC5vcmcvcC9ib29rcy9hLWxpdHRsZS1tb3JlLXNvY2lhbC1ob3ctc21hbGwtY2hvaWNlcy1jYW4tbWFrZS11cy1oYXBwaWVyLWhlYWx0aGllci1hbmQtYmV0dGVyLWNvbm5lY3RlZC1uaWNob2xhcy1lcGxleS84OTNmODc3ODIxNzk5ZDRlP2Vhbj05NzgwNTkzMzE5NTQz )) ​ Annie Jacobsen previously wrote a book about what would happen if there was a nuclear war ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hog23oobmhz9drr8pblh3xg8d/08hwh9h25k4m3lfl/aHR0cHM6Ly9ib29rc2hvcC5vcmcvcC9ib29rcy9udWNsZWFyLXdhci1hLXNjZW5hcmlvLWFubmllLWphY29ic2VuLzdiZGRmM2QxZWRmMDI0MDE_ZWFuPTk3ODA1OTM0NzYxMTY= ). Just in case that didn't freak you out enough, now she's doing the same thing with an even scarier weapon. (Get it July 28 ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hog23oobmhz9drr8pblh3xg8d/8ghqhohovx8gm7fk/aHR0cHM6Ly9ib29rc2hvcC5vcmcvcC9ib29rcy9iaW9sb2dpY2FsLXdhci1hLXNjZW5hcmlvLWFubmllLWphY29ic2VuLzE5ZTQ2OGUxYmQ3NGI0N2Q_ZWFuPTk3OTgyMTcwNDYwMzQ= ).) ​ I have no idea if this book will be any good, but it sounds sufficiently crazy: Taylor Sheridan, creator of the TV shows Landman and Yellowstone has teamed up with an ex-con to write a survival guide to life inside a maximum-security prison. (Get it June 23 ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hog23oobmhz9drr8pblh3xg8d/vqh3hrho7d6nz6tg/aHR0cHM6Ly9ib29rc2hvcC5vcmcvcC9ib29rcy9ob3ctdG8tbm90LWRpZS1pbi1wcmlzb24tYS1zdXJ2aXZhbC1ndWlkZS10YXlsb3Itc2hlcmlkYW4vOTJmYzA1YWNkMjhlMmYzNj9lYW49OTc4MTY2ODIxMzQ1Mg== ).) And, just for fun, a few podcasts you might have missed: -------------------------------------------------------- ​ Look for an episode about a song you love, and sit back and enjoy. I personally recommend the episodes about "Birdhouse in Your Soul ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hog23oobmhz9drr8pblh3xg8d/l2hehmhl9zpo8gi6/aHR0cHM6Ly9vcGVuLnNwb3RpZnkuY29tL2VwaXNvZGUvMDQ2SElhUTNQVmJwR1BacjdjdWVuaw== )" and Vampire Weekend ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hog23oobmhz9drr8pblh3xg8d/m2h7h5h3p7xo4kfm/aHR0cHM6Ly9vcGVuLnNwb3RpZnkuY29tL2VwaXNvZGUvNGFhWG8zbldPSGtLNlVuVzVuMTV2Tg== ). ​ I feel like no one really talked about Season 5 of Michael Lewis's podcast tracing the story behind how sports betting became legalized in the U.S., but it's fantastic. Start with episode one ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hog23oobmhz9drr8pblh3xg8d/dpheh0hegmxqp4hm/aHR0cHM6Ly9wb2RjYXN0cy5hcHBsZS5jb20vdXMvcG9kY2FzdC9lcGlzb2RlLTEtd2hhdHMtd3Jvbmctd2l0aC1lcmljL2lkMTQ1NTM3OTM1MT9pPTEwMDA2NzAyMDc4Njk= ) or jump to hearing about how DraftKings treats (or mistreats) its VIPs ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hog23oobmhz9drr8pblh3xg8d/e0hph7h7g2zkrls8/aHR0cHM6Ly9wb2RjYXN0cy5hcHBsZS5jb20vdXMvcG9kY2FzdC9lcGlzb2RlLTYtdmlwL2lkMTQ1NTM3OTM1MT9pPTEwMDA2Nzc2NjU5NzE= ). What are you reading or listening to that you love? Let us know in the comments ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hog23oobmhz9drr8pblh3xg8d/7qh7h8h97me0n8sz/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9pLzE5ODc3ODYxOS93ZXJlLXlvdS1mb3J3YXJkZWQtdGhpcy1tZXNzYWdlLXNpZ24tdXAtZm9yLW15LW5ld3NsZXR0ZXI= )! Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hog23oobmhz9drr8pblh3xg8d/x0hph6he6lmn5nh5/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hog23oobmhz9drr8pblh3xg8d/owhkhqhwv7e4qlhv/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9yZXZpZXcvY3JlYXRlLXJldmlldy8_Y2hhbm5lbD1nbGFuY2UtZGV0YWlsJmFzaW49MDU5MzI0MzkxOQ== ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hog23oobmhz9drr8pblh3xg8d ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hog23oobmhz9drr8pblh3xg8d )​ ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hog23oobmhz9drr8pblh3xg8d )​

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/z2hghnhexldlgmbp/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more ************************** The science of negotiation ************************** We negotiate all the time — with our bosses, our spouses, our kids. Not to mention buying a new car, asking for a raise, booking a hotel or signing up for the gym. So how do we come out on top? Science has some answers. If you come to haggle, at least come dressed for it. The first rule of negotiating is don't talk about you should talk about negotiating. ----------------------------------------------------------------- There have been some odd negotiations in history: * In 193 AD the Roman Empire's Praetorian Guard murdered the emperor and put the entire empire up for auction. A wealthy senator ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/dpheh0henp72zzim/aHR0cHM6Ly9lbi53aWtpcGVkaWEub3JnL3dpa2kvRGlkaXVzX0p1bGlhbnVz ) won by bribing the soldiers, took the throne, and then proved so unpopular he was executed 66 days later. Buyer's remorse! * In the early 1960s, tractor magnate Ferruccio Lamborghini ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/7qh7h8h95n4xv6cz/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuY2JjLmNhL3JhZGlvL3VuZGVydGhlaW5mbHVlbmNlL2hvdy10aGUtbGFtYm9yZ2hpbmktc3VwZXJjYXItYmVnYW4td2l0aC1hLXRyYWN0b3ItYW5kLWFuLWluc3VsdC0xLjY0MTk1NjA= ) complained to Enzo Ferrari that the clutch in his brand new 250 Ferrari GT was garbage. Ferrari said the real problem was that Lamborghini didn't know how to drive, and should stick with riding animals. So Lamborghini founded a competing sports-car company that, today, rivals Ferrari in car sales. * In 1788, Austria soldiers got into a drunken argument over a barrel of schnapps ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/z2hghnhexldm9rsp/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW5jaWVudC1vcmlnaW5zLm5ldC93ZWlyZC1mYWN0cy9iYXR0bGUta2FyYW5zZWJlcy0wMDE4NzE0 ). Then one of the fueders fired a shot and somebody else confusedly yelled "Turks!" and the entire army began fighting itself for hours. Over 1000 Austrian soldiers were killed before they realized the mistake. In each instance, a bit more preparation probably could have helped. Studies show that when people take a moment before a negotiation to set their priorities, decide when they will walk away and reflect on a time they felt powerful ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/x0hph6he0q7487b5/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mcGVvcGxlLmNvbS9uZWdvdGlhdGlvbi8= ), they tend to perform better. Timing also matters: research shows people tend to be more generous on sunny days, and that judges tend to be more lenient in the morning ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/qvh8h7hdpk6lgnil/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucG5hcy5vcmcvZG9pLzEwLjEwNzMvcG5hcy4xMDE4MDMzMTA4 ) after they've had a nice breakfast, rather than before lunch, when they're hangry. Even some brief small talk and pleasantries ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/9qhzhnhdr52ek4t9/aHR0cHM6Ly9oYnIub3JnLzIwMTUvMDQvaG93LXRvLW5lZ290aWF0ZS1uaWNlbHktd2l0aG91dC1iZWluZy1hLXB1c2hvdmVy ) with your counterparty before a negotiation significantly increases the likelihood of reaching an agreement. And subtly mirroring the other person's language — especially early in a negotiation — can dramatically improve the outcome: In one study, negotiators who mimicked their counterpart’s ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/48hvhehm8x27z8cx/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVzZWFyY2hnYXRlLm5ldC9wdWJsaWNhdGlvbi8yNTE0NzI3NzZfRWFybHlfd29yZHNfdGhhdF93b3JrX1doZW5fYW5kX2hvd192aXJ0dWFsX2xpbmd1aXN0aWNfbWltaWNyeV9mYWNpbGl0YXRlc19uZWdvdGlhdGlvbl9vdXRjb21lcw== ) wording in the first 10 minutes earned significantly more than everyone else. Okay, but how about when I'm buying a car? ------------------------------------------ Car negotiations are often won or lost on emotional control. Salespeople will often exaggerate their emotional reactions — acting offended or frustrated ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/vqh3hrhorwkq2qfg/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZmFzdGNvbXBhbnkuY29tLzMwMDEyMDkvbmVnb3RpYXRlLWNhci1zYWxlc21hbi01LXRhY3RpY3MtaGVscC15b3Utd2luLWV2ZXJ5LXRpbWU= ) — in the hopes of triggering your emotions and making rational thought harder. It's useful to go car shopping at the end of the month ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/dpheh0henp724zbm/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYWFhLmNvbS9hdXRvcmVwYWlyL2FydGljbGVzL3RoZS1iZXN0LXRpbWUtdG8tYnV5LWEtY2FyLXRvLXNhdmUteW91LW1vbmV5 ) (and ideally during a rainstorm, when showrooms are empty), because a salesperson's quota and bonus are on a ticking clock. (The last week of December is particularly great.) Be willing to walk out — and actually walk out at least once ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/owhkhqhwdq80kniv/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVkZGl0LmNvbS9yL2Fza2NhcnNhbGVzL2NvbW1lbnRzL3g1YzNqai9pc193YWxraW5nX291dF9vZl9hX2RlYWxfc3RpbGxfYV92aWFibGUv ). And the "silent treatment" works ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/p8heh9h4oq7p3laq/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vd2F0Y2g_dj1aVHpIWktsMU1jRQ== ): After they quote a price, just ... don't say anything. Furrow your brow slightly. Studies show salespeople will often keep talking and start negotiating against themselves to fill the silence. What if I'm negotiating for a raise? ------------------------------------ Haggle early. People who negotiate a higher salary when they are hired earn an average of 18.83% more ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/58hvh7hg2694vgc6/aHR0cHM6Ly9ibG9nLnRoZWludGVydmlld2d1eXMuY29tL3dlLXJldmlld2VkLWV2ZXJ5LXNhbGFyeS1uZWdvdGlhdGlvbi1zdHVkeS8= ) that their peers. But 55% of job candidates don't even try. When you negotiate, ask for a precise, non-round number ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/9qhzhnhdr52eq4u9/aHR0cHM6Ly9pbnRlcnZpZXdjb3BpbG90LmNvL2Jsb2cvc2FsYXJ5LW5lZ290aWF0aW9uLXN0cmF0ZWdpZXM= ) (like $108,750), rather than a broad range, and share your data ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/wnh2hghq60ol5pt7/aHR0cHM6Ly9hcmNoaXZlLmlzLzIwMjMxMDE2MDM1MjIxL2h0dHBzOi9oYnIub3JnLzIwMjIvMDcvaG93LXRvLW5lZ290aWF0ZS15b3VyLXN0YXJ0aW5nLXNhbGFyeQ== ) ("I called other companies, and three employees said they earned an average of $110,000 for this role.") Be firm in what you want, but collaborative in how you communicate it ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/58hvh7hg2694vgc6/aHR0cHM6Ly9ibG9nLnRoZWludGVydmlld2d1eXMuY29tL3dlLXJldmlld2VkLWV2ZXJ5LXNhbGFyeS1uZWdvdGlhdGlvbi1zdHVkeS8= ). And remember that loss aversion can work in your benefit: Once a company has made an offer, they are more psychologically motivated ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/9qhzhnhdr52eq4u9/aHR0cHM6Ly9pbnRlcnZpZXdjb3BpbG90LmNvL2Jsb2cvc2FsYXJ5LW5lZ290aWF0aW9uLXN0cmF0ZWdpZXM= ) to avoid losing you than to save a relatively small amount of money by turning down your slightly higher ask. And all those subscriptions? (Gym! Netflix! Phone!) Is there a way to negotiate them down? ----------------------------------------------------------------- Yes! The key is to threaten to leave. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/vqh3hrhorwkqxqhg/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2ltb24ta3VjaGVyLmNvbS9lbi9pbnNpZ2h0cy90ZWxjby1zd2l0Y2hpbmctYmVoYXZpb3ItcmlzaW5nLXdpbGxpbmduZXNzLWNodXJuLWhpZ2hsaWdodHMtaW1wb3J0YW5jZS1jdXN0b21lcg== ) Because companies know that retaining a customer is cheaper than acquiring a new one, they'll often discount your subscription if you just ask. When it comes to exercise, timing matters: gyms are more likely to offer discounts ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/dpheh0henp72ozhm/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuY29uc3VtZXJyZXBvcnRzLm9yZy9leGVyY2lzZS1maXRuZXNzLzgtd2F5cy10by1zYXZlLW9uLWEtZ3ltLW1lbWJlcnNoaXAv ) at the end of the month or during slower seasons like summer, when demand drops. Ask to speak with a manager, not a salesperson, since managers typically have more authority to waive fees. Finally, figure out if a subscription actually makes sense: In a study of nearly 8,000 gym members ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/7qh7h8h95n4x66iz/aHR0cHM6Ly9lbWwuYmVya2VsZXkuZWR1L35zZGVsbGF2aS93cC9neW1lbXAwNS0wNC0yMC5wZGY= ), most people chose monthly plans costing $70+ but only went about 4.8 times per month, effectively paying $17 per visit — when it would have cost them just $10 per visit if they paid a la carte. And travel? Any way to get cheaper rooms? ----------------------------------------- Hotel negotiations are less about “haggling” and more about how and when you ask. First, find the best rate at discount sites online — but then make the reservation directly with the hotel and demand they match the online price ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/x0hph6he0q74p7s5/aHR0cHM6Ly90aHJpdmluZGlnaXRhbC5jb20vZGlyZWN0LWJvb2tpbmdzLXZzLW90YXMtYS1jb3N0LWFuYWx5c2lzLWZvci1sdXh1cnktaG90ZWxzLw== ) and throw in perks like late check-out. (Hotels make significantly more money when you book with them directly, so they have more incentive to bargain.) And remember timing matters ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/58hvh7hg2694ngi6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVkZGl0LmNvbS9yL0ZydWdhbC9jb21tZW50cy93aDZieS90aXBzX2Zvcl9uZWdvdGlhdGluZ19yYXRlc19hdF9hX2hvdGVsLw== ): call before 11:00, when check-outs get busy, or after 6:00, when check-ins slow down, so you can cajole the front desk staff when they're not overwhelmed. Those staffs usually have the most price flexibility the day before or day of check-in, when they are motivated to fill empty rooms. And, lastly, studies show politeness is a powerful tactic ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/58hvh7hg2694ngi6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVkZGl0LmNvbS9yL0ZydWdhbC9jb21tZW50cy93aDZieS90aXBzX2Zvcl9uZWdvdGlhdGluZ19yYXRlc19hdF9hX2hvdGVsLw== ): the staff isn't pocketing the profits, and so if you're friendly, you're more likely to get a discount. (Also, it turns out you can negotiate over furniture prices ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/g3hnh5hmwqz0lxtr/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVkZGl0LmNvbS9yL2hvbWVvd25lcnMvY29tbWVudHMvOWh3ZG0zL2FyZV95b3Vfc3VwcG9zZWRfdG9fbmVnb3RpYXRlX2F0X2Z1cm5pdHVyZV9zdG9yZXMvP3NvbHV0aW9uPWU1ODEzOGI1ZTc3ZWY3NjhlNTgxMzhiNWU3N2VmNzY4JmpzX2NoYWxsZW5nZT0xJnRva2VuPWJiYmU0YmYxYzlhMmI1MTYwODI5YzRiZTM0ZGE1ODYxN2RlNTNiZTcyZDUwNDMyYjc2OTU3MWMyMzI0MDkzODImanNjX29yaWdfcj0= ), and here's a few tactics for haggling about your medical bills ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/wnh2hghq60olkpu7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubW90b25sZWdhbGdyb3VwLmNvbS9ob3ctdG8tbmVnb3RpYXRlLW1lZGljYWwtYmlsbHMtYWZ0ZXItaW5zdXJhbmNlLw== ).) How do I negotiate at home? Like, with my spouse? ------------------------------------------------- In a marriage, emotions and long-term stakes are always in play, and so the best negotiation stance is to frame issues as shared problems to solve ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/x0hph6he0q74z7f5/aHR0cHM6Ly9jZW50ZXJzdG9uZS5vcmcvb3VyLXJlc291cmNlcy9oZWFsdGgtd2VsbG5lc3MvZXhwZWN0YXRpb25zLW5lZ290aWF0aW9ucy1jb3VwbGVzLXdoby1jb21wcm9taXNlLXRocml2ZS8= ), rather than a fight with winners and losers. Marriage therapists say there's a structure for this ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/25h2hoh3wmoqg4u3/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuY291cGxlc2luc3RpdHV0ZS5jb20vc3VwZXItbmVnb3RpYXRpbmctZm9yLWNvdXBsZXMtdHgvP3Nyc2x0aWQ9QWZtQk9vcU03SnV0OGlkWXBrREN1UjdBYS11TXNUWmpna21mc3k4WHN1R0twMC13LU4zSFhPRTY= ): Let each person fully express their concerns without interruption, then the other person reflects back, and then brainstorm together solutions (rather than, say, jumping straight to compromise). And remember the "golden ratio" ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/g3hnh5hmwqz0nxur/aHR0cHM6Ly9kaXJlY3QubWl0LmVkdS9uZ3RuL2FydGljbGUvMzgvNC81NzMvMTIxMjQwL05pbmUtTGVzc29ucy1mcm9tLUxvdmUtQ291cGxlcy1UaGVyYXB5LWZvcg== ): When we say at least 3 positive things to every 1 negative thing, it increases trust and makes these kinds of discussions feel a lot easier. What about with my kids? ------------------------ Teaching kids to negotiate for, say, their allowance is great: Studies show we start developing haggling instincts at about age five ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/wnh2hghq60ol4pa7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucG9uLmhhcnZhcmQuZWR1L2RhaWx5L25lZ290aWF0aW9uLXNraWxscy1kYWlseS9sZWFybmluZy1mcm9tLWNoaWxkcmVucy1uZWdvdGlhdGlvbi1iZWhhdmlvci8= ). But to really teach them how, model the right behavior: Focus on underlying goals, rather than specific demands ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/8ghqhohonr573rck/aHR0cHM6Ly9oYnIub3JnLzIwMjAvMDUvaG93LXRvLW5lZ290aWF0ZS13aXRoLXlvdXIta2lkcw== ) ("if you refuse to wear this hat in a blizzard, what's another way to keep your head warm?"); Ask lots of questions ("why do you think you need $100 a week? Let's figure out how much lunch actually costs"); Let them anchor the conversation, which gives them a sense of control ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/m2h7h5h3z4nl9rcm/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucG9uLmhhcnZhcmQuZWR1L2RhaWx5L2xlYWRlcnNoaXAtc2tpbGxzLWRhaWx5L3RlYWNoaW5nLWNoaWxkcmVuLXRvLXNlbGYtYWR2b2NhdGUtbmIv ) and also teaches the danger of anchoring too low or too high ("do you really think asking for a 1:00 am curfew makes me think you should have that much freedom?"); And talk about fairness ("why did you give yourself the chocolate cake and your brother the broccoli?"), because helping kids develop an accurate sense of fairness ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/e0hph7h7orndwpi8/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmMuZWR1L2JjLXdlYi9iY25ld3Mvc2NpZW5jZS10ZWNoLWFuZC1oZWFsdGgvcHN5Y2hvbG9neS9ob3ctZmFpcm5lc3MtZGV2ZWxvcHMtaW4tY2hpbGRyZW4uaHRtbA== ) guides so much of what we're willing to accept or turn down later in life. ​ When's the last time you negotiated for something? Did it work? What was your best negotiation? Let us know in the comments ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/p8heh9h4oq7p5lsq/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9pLzE5NzA1NjA3NS93aGF0LWFib3V0LXdpdGgtbXkta2lkcw== )! Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/z2hghnhexldlgmbp/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) ----------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p/dpheh0henp72wqum/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9yZXZpZXcvY3JlYXRlLXJldmlldy8_Y2hhbm5lbD1nbGFuY2UtZGV0YWlsJmFzaW49MDU5MzI0MzkxOQ== ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3rmom9h2hd0xndogb7h2no7p )​ ​

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/08hwh9h2rd8rz5sl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more *********************************** Mentorship makes the world go round *********************************** Mentors can make a huge difference. But how do you find one? How should a mentor help a protégé? What are the tactics that make the relationship work? Science has some answers. Mentorship used to involve a lot more togas. A good mentor can make a huge difference (in a career, in life, with happiness ...) ----------------------------------------------------------------- The word 'mentorship' comes from The Odyssey ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/l2hehmhl73g7rxb6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudGhlYXRsYW50aWMuY29tL2J1c2luZXNzL2FyY2hpdmUvMjAxNy8xMC90aGUtb2R5c3NleS1tZW50b3JzaGlwLzU0MjY3Ni8= ), where the goddess Athena disguises herself as 'Mentor' to guide Odysseus’s punk son, Telemachus, away from bad choices. Mentorship, back then, wasn’t about career advice — it was about instilling “menos,” or mental strength. (Telemachus, like any moody teenager, was “nēpios” or disconnected. The mentor's job, then, is to reconnect a protégé intellectually, morally and emotionally to their purpose in life.) And mentorship — whether at work or amid teenaged ennui — works! In one study of PhD students, researchers found the impact of having a strong mentor wasn't much visible during school, but once those protégés graduated, they were significantly more likely to find great jobs, be more creative and mentor students ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/e0hph7h7o0xo4xf8/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZWRpcmVjdC5jb20vc2NpZW5jZS9hcnRpY2xlL3BpaS9TMDA0ODczMzMyMTAwMjQzMg== ) of their own. (And employees with mentors at work are five times more likely ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/z2hghnhex3gx0kcp/aHR0cHM6Ly9oYnIub3JnLzIwMjUvMDMveW91LWRvbnQtbmVlZC1hLW1lbnRvci10by1nZXQtdGhlLWNhcmVlci1hZHZpY2UteW91LW5lZWQ= ) to get promoted.) There are lots of famous mentor/mentee relationships ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/e0hph7h7o0xo5ns8/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudG9nZXRoZXJwbGF0Zm9ybS5jb20vYmxvZy9ub3RhYmxlLW1lbnRvcnMtYW5kLWluZm9ybWFsLW1lbnRvcnNoaXBz ): Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/owhkhqhwdrzd5riv/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuaW5jLmNvbS9pbGFuLW1vY2hhcmkvdmlzaXQtaW5kaWEtY3JlYXRpdml0eS5odG1s ), as well as Steven Spielberg and J.J. Abrams ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/x0hph6he0wg0x3c5/aHR0cHM6Ly9mb3J3YXJkLmNvbS9jdWx0dXJlLzQ3OTcxMC9zdGV2ZW4tc3BpZWxiZXJnLWpvZS1kYW50ZS1jaHJpcy1jb2x1bWJ1cy1oYXJyeS1wb3R0ZXItbWVudG9yLw== ) (even Ray Dalio and P. Diddy ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/58hvh7hg2me2lqb6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuY25iYy5jb20vMjAyMS8xMC8wNS9yYXktZGFsaW8tb24tYmVjb21pbmctc2Vhbi1kaWRkeS1jb21icy1idXNpbmVzcy1jb2FjaC5odG1s )). Einstein was pretty smart, but he also needed a mentor ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/g3hnh5hmw3vwx5ur/aHR0cHM6Ly90aW1lLmNvbS9hcmNoaXZlLzY2ODA2MjkvZWluc3RlaW4tZmFpdGgv ). The best mentorships, studies say, aren't just about making introductions or giving advice. Rather, the best mentors provide scaffolding ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/3ohphkh3g7wgveur/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM0OTk1MTIyLw== ): they demonstrate how to set realistic goals, they celebrate small wins and offer support after setbacks, they model how to be more ambitious and push yourself farther. One critical element: The best mentorships usually, sometime in the first six months, explicitly set out expectations — what each person will do, how often you'll meet, what success looks like — and they periodically revisit those expectations. After dark it becomes a kissing booth, which gets kind of awkward. Sounds great. But how do I find a mentor or a protégé? ------------------------------------------------------ To find a mentor: Obviously, bosses, professors and successful friends-of-your-parents are a great place to start. But the most powerful mentors often come from 'loose ties' ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/z2hghnhex3gx0kcp/aHR0cHM6Ly9oYnIub3JnLzIwMjUvMDMveW91LWRvbnQtbmVlZC1hLW1lbnRvci10by1nZXQtdGhlLWNhcmVlci1hZHZpY2UteW91LW5lZWQ= ): friends-of-friends, people we randomly meet at a conference, someone we email on a whim. Why? Because they tend to have access to networks and opportunities we're not even aware of. (So start lurking on LinkedIn and reviewing membership directories of professional organizations.) If you're hoping someone will mentor you start with a small request ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/reh8hohmz08zn8a2/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZXZpZGVuY2ViYXNlZG1lbnRvcmluZy5vcmcvd2hhdHMtdGhlLXJpZ2h0LXdheS10by1maW5kLWEtbWVudG9yLw== ). One paper found the most successful mentor solicitations ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/8ghqhohonl4nw0uk/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM4NDkwNDg5Lw== ) involve: (1) identifying your goals before asking for a meeting; (2) building a team rather than a single advisor (a career mentor, a technical mentor, a peer mentor, etc.); (3) initiating the request with a short, specific ask ("30 minutes, here's the problem I'm working on, I think your perspective on X would help"); (4) treat mentoring as reciprocal — bring energy, follow through, report back — and explain why you admire them and what you hope to learn from them. And don't get discouraged if someone passes. To find a protégé: Don't begin with a big formal “I want to mentor you” conversation — rather, begin by noticing, checking in, and offering help ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/l2hehmhl73g7q4f6/aHR0cHM6Ly9oYnIub3JnLzIwMTgvMDkvaG93LXRvLWhlbHAtYS1jb2xsZWFndWUtd2hvLXNlZW1zLW9mZi10aGVpci1nYW1l ), and let the relationship grow. When choosing someone to mentor, focus on value alignment, rather than similarities: One big study ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/dpheh0hen03ndmcm/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubGlmZXNjaWVkLm9yZy9kb2kvMTAuMTE4Ny9jYmUuMjMtMDUtMDA3MA== ) found no support for the assumption that shared gender, race, or ethnicity predicts mentorship quality; what predicted quality was shared attitudes, beliefs, and values. And once you become a mentor, read this survey of mentorship tactics among senior scientists ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/7qh7h8h95og5d0az/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmF0dXJlLmNvbS9hcnRpY2xlcy80NDc3OTFh ) that offers concrete tips: Be available (the number one complaint mentees raise); be an active listener — ask questions rather than deliver monologues; set clear expectations in writing; give honest, specific feedback early; be patient with pace; celebrate successes; let go when the mentee is ready. Lastly, remember that this relationship should be mutually beneficial ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/p8heh9h4ozvorgbq/aHR0cHM6Ly9oYnIub3JnLzIwMjIvMDEvdGhlLWJlc3QtbWVudG9yc2hpcHMtaGVscC1ib3RoLXBlb3BsZS1ncm93I3NlbGVjdGlvbi0xMDUzLjUtMTU3NS4xODE= ). Strong mentorships grow from reciprocity, so even early on, everyone should be thinking about how both people can provide value — whether by bringing ideas, perspectives, or interesting discussions to the relationship — rather than the protégé being solely a recipient, and the mentor nothing but an oracle. If not for Dr. Demento's mentorship of Weird Al, the world would be a poorer place. But there are some mentorships that get crazy, right? ----------------------------------------------------- Oh, yeah, there are some weird mentorships. One study ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/6qheh8hle7qex0fo/aHR0cHM6Ly9wc3ljbmV0LmFwYS5vcmcvcmVjb3JkLzIwMDAtMDUwNzUtMDAx ) found that more than 50% of mentees report having a "negative mentoring experience". Other research ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/58hvh7hg2me23qa6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYWNhZGVtaWEuZWR1LzI1MDUxNDM3L1RveGljX01lbnRvcnNfb3JfVG94aWNfUHJvdGVnZXNfQV9Dcml0aWNhbF9SZV9FeGFtaW5hdGlvbl9vZl9EeXNmdW5jdGlvbmFsX01lbnRvcmluZw== ) has documented mentorships that tip into bullying, sabotage, and — in a surprisingly non-trivial number of cases — stalking. So, that's something to avoid. Some other odd mentorships: In 1999 Jack Welch paired 500 GE senior executives ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/qvh8h7hdprxpepbl/aHR0cHM6Ly9lbXBsb3ltZW50aGVyby5jb20vc2cvYmxvZy9yZXZlcnNlLW1lbnRvcmluZy1wcm9ncmFtbWUv ) with 20-something employees to teach them the internet (the LOLz were ... not very LOL). During World War II, John von Neumann mentored a generation of American physicists, including some — like Klaus Fuchs ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/9qhzhnhdrp7r4vu9/aHR0cHM6Ly9ibG9nLm51Y2xlYXJzZWNyZWN5LmNvbS8yMDEzLzA4LzIzL3RoZS1zcHktdGhlLWh1bWFuLWNvbXB1dGVyLWFuZC10aGUtaC1ib21iLw== ) — who were simultaneously spying for the Soviets. Warren Buffett has said one of his most important mentors was Philip Fisher ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/3ohphkh3g7wgxear/aHR0cHM6Ly9lbi53aWtpcGVkaWEub3JnL3dpa2kvUGhpbGlwX0FydGh1cl9GaXNoZXI= ), whom he met only a handful of times, and his partner Charlie Munger's father, whom he never met at all. In 1909, leaders of the Theosophical Society began mentoring a child named Jiddu Krishnamurti ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/n2hohvhv03d027c6/aHR0cHM6Ly9rZm91bmRhdGlvbi5vcmcv ) and eventually declared him the messiah. (Krishnamurti, unimpressed, dissolved the Society once he was its leader.) That said, there's also heartwarming mentorships: Older meerkats mentor pups by disabling scorpions and then presenting them to pups to practice on. (Which is nice for the meerkats, but less nice for the scorpions.) And Mr. Rogers received thousands of letters from children and adults who described him as their mentor. He answered almost every one personally (often 50 to 100 letters a day! ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/48hvhehm8ro8w7ix/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVkZGl0LmNvbS9yL3RvZGF5aWxlYXJuZWQvY29tbWVudHMvYXp0emVuL3RpbF90aGF0X21yX3JvZ2Vyc19yZXNwb25kZWRfdG9fZXZlcnlfZmFuX2xldHRlci8= )). After his death, Fred Rogers Productions continued the correspondence using Fred's own letter templates, making him a mentor from the great beyond. ​ Do you have a mentor? Or a protégé? Who has made a difference in your life — and how did you thank them? Let us know in the comments ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/wnh2hghq6wz6mdu7/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9pLzE5NTI0MDcxMS93ZXJlLXlvdS1mb3J3YXJkZWQtdGhpcy1tZXNzYWdlLXNpZ24tdXAtZm9yLW15LW5ld3NsZXR0ZXI= )! Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/08hwh9h2rd8rz5sl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) ----------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm/reh8hohmz08zk8t2/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9yZXZpZXcvY3JlYXRlLXJldmlldy8_Y2hhbm5lbD1nbGFuY2UtZGV0YWlsJmFzaW49MDU5MzI0MzkxOQ== ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/v8um3nok9qhrhvrw49gaghvk2z9x3c9h23lgm )​ ​

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/7qh7h8h9lev8rkuz/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more ***************************************************************** So what should I do with all these walls? (And cabinets. And clutter. And my bedroom. And ...) ***************************************************************** How do I make my bedroom more relaxing? What's the best 'signature scent' for a house? (What?) Are you sure boxes of comic books and report cards from my childhood count as 'clutter'? Science has some answers on how to make your living space look like you belong in a fancy magazine. The funny thing about this house is the people who live inside are colorblind. I want my home to look awesome. What should I know? --------------------------------------------------- If you're home is a little cramped, it's helpful to use “optical design illusions” ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/owhkhqhw9e3n26sv/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cud2FzaGluZ3RvbnBvc3QuY29tL2hvbWUvMjAyMy8wMi8wNy9tYWtlLXNtYWxsLXJvb20tYXBwZWFyLWxhcmdlci8= ): If you paint the walls, trim and ceiling the same color, it makes the room feel bigger. So do reflective surfaces (mirrors, glossy finishes, shiny tile) that bounce around light. Furniture with visible legs make a room feel more open and, paradoxically, a sofa or chair that isn't pushed against the wall makes a space feel more expansive. When it comes to decorating, pay attention to 'layering' your lighting ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/z2hghnhe6z97q7bp/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudGhlc3BydWNlLmNvbS9ob3ctZGVzaWduZXJzLW1ha2UtYmVkcm9vbXMtZmVlbC1leHBlbnNpdmUtMTE4NzAyNDI= ): Instead of relying on a single overhead fixture, designers aim for at least four light sources, which creates a sense of depth and multiple focal points. (One study found that six light sources, each aimed in a different direction, convinced people that a room was 20% larger.) In your bedroom, for instance, keep the overhead light fixture — but then add lights on either side of the bed that aim up and down, and another across the room at eye level. Voila: the room feels elevated and cozy. The color of the light also matters: cool-white lightbulbs suppress melatonin ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/p8heh9h46ekdn5hq/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUMxMjgyNzk1My8= ), while warmer bulbs help you fade into sleep. Finally, think about scents: Research shows a room's smell ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/x0hph6he2m8z5lu5/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVzZWFyY2hnYXRlLm5ldC9wdWJsaWNhdGlvbi8yODEzMTY5MzJfRWZmZWN0X29mX1NtZWxsX2luX1NwYWNlX1BlcmNlcHRpb24= ) dramatically affects how large it feels. Fresh, light scents (citrus, pine) make spaces feel open; heavy scents make the walls press in. Hotels have exploited this for decades. (And hospitals often smell like vanilla ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/6qheh8hlr4vwm2so/aHR0cHM6Ly9wdWJtZWQubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi8xNjA5NTYzOS8= ) because Memorial Sloan Kettering found it reduced patient anxiety by 63% during MRI scans.) All that said, the best scent for sleeping, it turns out, is something infused with the smell of your romantic partner ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/kkhmh6hnwpgek8cl/aHR0cHM6Ly9qb3VybmFscy5zYWdlcHViLmNvbS9kb2kvYWJzLzEwLjExNzcvMDk1Njc5NzYyMDkwNTYxNQ== ). So grab their old t-shirt before getting in bed. Go ahead. Spill something. No one will ever notice. Okay, but I've got all this clutter! How do I get rid of all this stuff? ----------------------------------------------------------------- Clutter is in the eye of the beholder (why would I toss this broken mug I once loved in college?). But the costs are real: A UCLA study found that the more cluttered a home, the higher the cortisol levels ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/58hvh7hgxwp0rmc6/aHR0cHM6Ly9uZXdzcm9vbS51Y2xhLmVkdS9tYWdhemluZS9jZW50ZXItZXZlcnlkYXktbGl2ZXMtZmFtaWxpZXMtc3VidXJiYW4tYW1lcmljYQ== ) of the people living there. (This effect was particularly strong among women, and weaker in men, which is why he keeps taking that mug out of the trash.) Clutter accumulates because we're prone to the "endowment effect ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/25h2hoh39xrgk3s3/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmJlci5vcmcvc3lzdGVtL2ZpbGVzL3dvcmtpbmdfcGFwZXJzL3cxOTM4NC93MTkzODQucGRm )": once we own something, we irrational overvalue it. And we often fall prey to the "just in case illusion ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/qvh8h7hdw3gv9oil/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmV3eW9ya2VyLmNvbS9tYWdhemluZS8yMDIyLzAyLzI4L2EtZ3VpZGUtdG8tZ2V0dGluZy1yaWQtb2YtYWxtb3N0LWV2ZXJ5dGhpbmctZGVjbHV0dGVyaW5n )" — studies show we overestimate how often we'll use an item in the future while, in reality, most things kept for this reason are never touched again. One solution is changing your mindset ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/g3hnh5hm927n4phr/aHR0cHM6Ly9ub3VyaXNoaW5nbWluaW1hbGlzbS5jb20vbG92ZS1pdC1kZWNsdXR0ZXJpbmcv ). Instead of asking yourself a guilt-filled question like "what can I get rid of?" (if I throw away this 12-year-old lump of clay, do I really love my children?) instead ask "what do I enjoy enough to keep?" And then, there's the 'container method ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/9qhzhnhdw8kxont9/aHR0cHM6Ly9iYWxhbmNldGhyb3VnaHNpbXBsaWNpdHkuY29tL2NvbnRhaW5lci1jb25jZXB0Lw== )': Choose a box or a shelf, fill it with your kid's artwork or vacation souvenirs, and toss anything that doesn't fit. Easy peasy. (Another favorite is the 'would you clean poop off this item to keep it? ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/3ohphkh3m86rexur/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudGhlZ3VhcmRpYW4uY29tL2xpZmVhbmRzdHlsZS8yMDI1L21heS8yNi90aGUtcG9vcC1ydWxlLWlzLXRoaXMtdGhlLW1vc3QtZGlzZ3VzdGluZy1kZWNsdXR0ZXJpbmctbWV0aG9kLWV2ZXI= )' test, which is surprisingly effective.) You gotta wonder what they were hoping for with this design. Let's talk about my office. What interior design tricks will make me more productive, successful and wealthy? ----------------------------------------------------------------- That's kind of a high bar, but there's some stuff that will help you get your work done. First, put your desk as close to a window as possible. Studies show ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/n2hohvhvq4wgzmi6/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM2NzUxMDcxLw== ) workers with access to natural light experience less daytime sleepiness, higher alertness and more creative problem solving. Also, temperature matters more than you realize. A meta-analysis of 35 studies ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/48hvhehml3z94ltx/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZWRpcmVjdC5jb20vc2NpZW5jZS9hcnRpY2xlL3BpaS9TMDM2MDEzMjMyMTAwNDM5WA== ) found that temperatures above 77° Fahrenheit, after just an hour, consistently make us slower, and hurt accuracy on cognitively demanding tasks. Another study found ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/wnh2hghq7d94e6b7/aHR0cHM6Ly9qb3VybmFscy5wbG9zLm9yZy9wbG9zb25lL2FydGljbGU_aWQ9MTAuMTM3MSUyRmpvdXJuYWwucG9uZS4wMjE2MzYy ) that women tend to perform better on verbal and math tasks at higher temperatures, while men perform better in cooler environments. Last of all, personalize your work space. When the University of Exeter ran experiments comparing "minimalist" offices with "enriched" spaces (filled with plants and artwork), they found people in enriched offices were 17% more productive. But the biggest productivity boost ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/reh8hohmdp97grs2/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZWRhaWx5LmNvbS9yZWxlYXNlcy8yMDEwLzA5LzEwMDkwNzEwNDAzNS5odG0= ) was among workers who were free to design their spaces however they liked: That autonomy made them 32% more productive, with no increase in errors. (There were, however, an increase in disturbing bobble heads on desks.) Finally, if you are looking for cool stuff to put on your own desk, I have one recommendation: The 2026 Japanese Stationary Store Awards ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/08hwh9h2e40x36al/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudG9reW93ZWVrZW5kZXIuY29tL2FydF9hbmRfY3VsdHVyZS9kZXNpZ24vdGhlLWJlc3QtamFwYW5lc2Utc3RhdGlvbmVyeS0yMDI2LWFsbC1zdGF0aW9uZXJ5LXN0b3JlLWF3YXJkLXdpbm5lcnMv ). (My favorite is the Sonic Digitox Smartphone Time Lock Case ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/8ghqhohod8e3mmuk/aHR0cHM6Ly9qYXBhbndpdGhsb3Zlc3RvcmUuY29tL3Byb2R1Y3RzL3NvbmljLWRpZ2l0b3gtcGluay1yb3V0aW5lLXRpbWUtbG9jay1lbmNsb3N1cmUtZm9yLXBob25lcw== ).) What's your favorite piece of furniture? How did you buy your last piece of art? Let us know in the comments ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/vqh3hrho0624zwig/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9pLzE5MzgzOTMwNy93ZXJlLXlvdS1mb3J3YXJkZWQtdGhpcy1tZXNzYWdlLXNpZ24tdXAtZm9yLW15LW5ld3NsZXR0ZXI= )! Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/7qh7h8h9lev8rkuz/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) ----------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9/l2hehmhl2p548df6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9yZXZpZXcvY3JlYXRlLXJldmlldy8_Y2hhbm5lbD1nbGFuY2UtZGV0YWlsJmFzaW49MDU5MzI0MzkxOQ== ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9 ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5e7ldesohp4k2e4wb9hvqpz9 )​ ​

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/g3hnh5hm9ppp7rbr/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more ******************************* Rizzzzz it up like a scientist! ******************************* What is charisma? Why do some people seem to have it while others, not so much? What can I do to become more charismatic? And is it possible to impress my kids with my rizz? (Spoiler alert: No.) Dalton's got that 3rd grade rizz. What is charisma? And how do I get it? -------------------------------------- Charisma comes from the Greek kharisma, meaning “divine gift,” which is indicative of how it was seen ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/n2hohvhvqrrrwpt6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZXR5bW9ubGluZS5jb20vd29yZC9jaGFyaXNtYQ== )for most of history: A spiritual gift or power granted by God. Today, of course, we know charisma is a learnable skill — anyone can become more charismatic. And everyone from the CIA ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/vqh3hrho0ggg25ig/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZnQuY29tL2NvbnRlbnQvZGQ0ZjNjOTAtMzIxMy00NjlkLTkyNmYtZmE5MzU0YmYyYTdi ) to Harvard Business School ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/z2hghnhe6www4dfp/aHR0cHM6Ly9oYnIub3JnLzIwMTIvMDYvbGVhcm5pbmctY2hhcmlzbWEtMg== ) to The Atlantic ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/kkhmh6hnwmmmd6fl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudGhlYXRsYW50aWMuY29tL2lkZWFzL2FyY2hpdmUvMjAyNS8wNy9jdWx0aXZhdGUtY2hhcmlzbWEtaGFwcGluZXNzLzY4MzUzMy8= ) magazine has explored the formula for 'rizz' ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/qvh8h7hdwnnn7ebl/aHR0cHM6Ly9jb3JwLm91cC5jb20vbmV3cy9yaXp6LWNyb3duZWQtb3hmb3JkLXdvcmQtb2YtdGhlLXllYXItMjAyMy8= ). Researchers say charisma has three pillars ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/9qhzhnhdw999qwu9/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAxOS8wOC8xNS9zbWFydGVyLWxpdmluZy93aGF0LW1ha2VzLXBlb3BsZS1jaGFyaXNtYXRpYy1hbmQtaG93LXlvdS1jYW4tYmUtdG9vLmh0bWw= ): Presence, Power, and Warmth. Presence is being fully engaged with another person (charismatic people tend to ask more questions). Power is confidence without obvious self-doubt (which is often conveyed, paradoxically, through self-effacing jokes and vulnerable disclosures). Warmth comes from showing kindness and acceptance (demonstrating empathy, in particular, is critical). Most of all, charismatic people tend to communicate in ways that feel emotional, clear, and grounded in values, not just facts. How we talk also matters: Prosody — the musical aspects of speech's rhythm, emphasis, and timing — are small, almost unconscious signals that listeners use ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/48hvhehmlggg5dhx/aHR0cHM6Ly9rYXJvbGludW0uY3ovZGF0YS9jbGFuZWsvNzI0My9QaGlsXzIwMTlfMl8wMDI3LnBkZg== ) to infer confidence, passion and competence. The key is variety: when our voice moves up and down an octave scale (what's known as 'the fundamental frequency ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/8ghqhohod99908uk/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmJjLmNvbS9uZXdzL3NjaWVuY2UtZW52aXJvbm1lbnQtMjk4MDA4OTM= )'), and when the pace of our words, as well as our volume, changes as we speak, others see us as worth listening to. It's important to remember, however, that charisma has a curvilinear effect ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/kkhmh6hnwmmmd6fl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudGhlYXRsYW50aWMuY29tL2lkZWFzL2FyY2hpdmUvMjAyNS8wNy9jdWx0aXZhdGUtY2hhcmlzbWEtaGFwcGluZXNzLzY4MzUzMy8= ): it helps to a point, and then starts to backfire. Among leaders, no more than 60 percent of conversations should be 'charismatic'. Beyond that, the leader starts to seem less trustworthy or less competent. If you want videos of charisma on display, some of the best examples are street performers ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/m2h7h5h35eeeqgtm/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVkZGl0LmNvbS9yL3ZpZGVvcy9jb21tZW50cy9waWJ4MTMvdGhlX21vc3RfY2hhcmlzbWF0aWNfc3RyZWV0X3BlcmZvcm1lcl9pdmVfZXZlci8= ), magicians ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/e0hph7h7v444leu8/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vd2F0Y2g_dj1BNFhKUVpDQ3FKMA== ), preachers ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/z2hghnhe6wwwkdtp/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vd2F0Y2g_dj1SNXZUbUlWUmdCSQ== ) and politicians (including Ronald Reagan ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/6qheh8hlrooo5lho/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vd2F0Y2g_dj1BNURITFRTSlB1MA== ) and John F. Kennedy ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/25h2hoh39ddd8ns3/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZmFjZWJvb2suY29tL3dhdGNoLz92PTE0MzcxMDEyOTgxNTk5ODM= )). He knows the precise formula for rizz. Will charisma help my love life? And make me more popular? What, specifically, should I do? ----------------------------------------------------------------- Often times, particularly in affairs of the heart, charisma means similarity. ​One study ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/g3hnh5hm9ppplrir/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmF0dXJlLmNvbS9hcnRpY2xlcy9zNDE1NjItMDIxLTAxMTk3LTM= ) looked at couples meeting for the first time and found the more people mirrored each other's body language, energy and focus ("You love puppies? So do I!"), the more they rated each other as sexually attractive. (Simply swaying your body ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/3ohphkh3mzzz2gur/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM3ODEyNjMwLw== ) similarly can boost allure.) Studies show we tend to be drawn to "super-synchronizers ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/n2hohvhvqrrrxpf6/aHR0cHM6Ly9iaWd0aGluay5jb20vbmV1cm9wc3ljaC9maXJzdC1kYXRlLXJlbGF0aW9uc2hpcC8= )": People who demonstrate they are in-sync with our emotions and interests by asking follow-up questions, reflecting back the feelings they hear ("that sounds really hard") and echoing our smiles, gestures and facial expressions. So, if your date tells a joke, say something funny yourself ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/48hvhehmlgggpdix/aHR0cHM6Ly9wdWJtZWQubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi8zNzgzNzMwMS8= ). (Spontaneous humor is particularly important because it signals alluring traits like creativity and mental agility.) If your date says something emotional, respond with a disclosure of your own. (This is known as reciprocal vulnerability ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/wnh2hghq7gggkeb7/aHR0cHM6Ly9ub21hZGl0LmNvLnVrL2NvbmZlcmVuY2UvYXNhMjAyNS9wYXBlci84ODE2Nw== ), and it's at the core of how we build trust.) In other words, stereotypical "charisma" — clever lines, dazzling confidence, practiced charm — doesn't predict romantic attachment. Rather, showing you are attuned to another person, responding to their signals and genuinely caring about their experiences creates attraction ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/reh8hohmdxxx36t2/aHR0cHM6Ly9wc3ljbmV0LmFwYS5vcmcvcmVjb3JkLzIwMjEtODc2MDUtMDAx ), both during a date and in long-term relationships ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/reh8hohmdxxx36t2/aHR0cHM6Ly9wc3ljbmV0LmFwYS5vcmcvcmVjb3JkLzIwMjEtODc2MDUtMDAx ). (This kind of charisma is highly associated with better sex lives ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/08hwh9h2ezzz9pfl/aHR0cHM6Ly9wdWJtZWQubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi8zNDUzNTgzOC8= ) in marriages.) The same skills also work on our friends. Studies show that our most 'charismatic' friendships ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/l2hehmhl2rrr45s6/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM0NDcwMzgxLw== ) are with people who engage in reciprocal candor, are enthusiastic to discuss mutual interests, and are funny. We're most likely to be drawn to people ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/qvh8h7hdwnnnveil/aHR0cHM6Ly9wdWJtZWQubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi8yODg1MTgzNS8= ) who are emotional expressive, show genuine warmth (which earns trust and makes people feel safe), and exude positive energy. "Most Likely To Succeed" is a tough award when the other recipient is Kobe Bryant. Okay, but what about at work? How do I make my emails more persuasive? How should I rizz up meetings? ----------------------------------------------------------------- ​Pay attention to spam ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/g3hnh5hm9pppnrtr/aHR0cHM6Ly9jb252ZXJzaW9uLmNvbS9ibG9nL21pbmUtc3BhbS1lbWFpbC1mdWxsLXRpcHMtcGVyc3Vhc2l2ZS8= ). Researchers say the most persuasive and charismatic emails rely on four tactics: First, they personalize the sender by emphasizing that you are a real person ("I had an idea while eating breakfast this morning"). Next, they are personalized for the recipient by mentioning shared concerns or memories. Third, they ask a question fairly early, which draws readers in. Lastly, it creates urgency. In spam, this means clichés like "Hurry!" or "Time is running out!" But in a personal email, urgency might be something like "I was hoping to get an answer by later today." And persuasive emails are brief. Limiting a message to just 25 to 50 words ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/9qhzhnhdw999xwt9/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1lcmljYW5leHByZXNzLmNvbS9lbi11cy9idXNpbmVzcy90cmVuZHMtYW5kLWluc2lnaHRzL2FydGljbGVzL2hvdy10by13cml0ZS1lbWFpbHMtdGhhdC1sZWFkLXRvLXllcy8= ) increases reply rates by up to 65%. When it comes to meetings, studies show that most influence doesn't occur during the gathering itself, but rather emerges before anyone enters the room. One researcher found ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/3ohphkh3mzzzrgar/aHR0cHM6Ly9oYnIub3JnL3BvZGNhc3QvMjAyNC8wMy9ob3ctdG8tYmVjb21lLW1vcmUtcGVyc3Vhc2l2ZS1hdC13b3Jr ) that the most persuasive and charismatic executives always seem to know, before a meeting starts, who will support them, who might object, and what concerns need to be addressed ahead of time, usually because they have back-channeled with attendees one-on-one. (In Japan, executives are evaluated on their "nemawashi ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/n2hohvhvqrrrgph6/aHR0cHM6Ly9tZWRpdW0uY29tL0B6b2VjaGFuY2UvbmVtYXdhc2hpLXRoZS1zZWNyZXQtdG8tcGVyc3Vhc2lvbi1hdC1ncm91cC1tZWV0aW5ncy02ZDBjYmVlN2U2MTU= )", or “cultivating the roots,” the habit of talking to peers before a meeting and categorizing people as decision-makers, likely skeptics, or potential allies.) When it comes to public speaking, it's worth remembering that charisma on a stage often comes from leaning into your natural instincts ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.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 ). Introverts are more persuasive when their speeches focus on thoughtfulness, depth, preparation, and genuine connection. Extroverts are more charismatic when they are energetic and entertaining. If you're nervous about speaking, ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/wnh2hghq7ggg4ec7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVkZGl0LmNvbS9yL2xpZmVoYWNrcy9jb21tZW50cy8xa2I1M2kzL2FueV90aXBzX2Zvcl9wdWJsaWNfc3BlYWtpbmdfdXJnZW50X2FueV9hZHZpY2VfaXMv )the best way to prepare is to memorize your opening ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/reh8hohmdxxx76u2/aHR0cHM6Ly9oYnIub3JnLzIwMjQvMTIvbmVydm91cy1hYm91dC1wdWJsaWMtc3BlYWtpbmctaGVyZXMtaG93LXRvLXVzZS1ub3Rlcy1saWtlLWEtcHJv ), choose at least one story you want to tell, and practice pausing mid-sentence, which helps when you need a moment to think about what to say next. What makes you most charismatic friends so likable? Let me know in the comments ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/08hwh9h2ezzzxpul/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9pLzE5MjI2NDM2Ny93aGF0LW1ha2VzLXlvdS1tb3N0LWNoYXJpc21hdGljLWZyaWVuZHMtc28tbGlrYWJsZS1sZXQtbWUta25vdy1pbi10aGUtY29tbWVudHM= )! Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/g3hnh5hm9ppp7rbr/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) ----------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804/8ghqhohod99938tk/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9yZXZpZXcvY3JlYXRlLXJldmlldy8_YXNpbj0wNTkzMjQzOTE5JmNoYW5uZWw9Z2xhbmNlLWRldGFpbA== ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804 ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/xmulpzdeowi6hp2qk0rf5h2dw9r9oinhme804 )​ ​

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/wnh2hghq79zvk6b7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more **************************** Science wants you to be rich **************************** Lemme guess: Talking about money stresses you out, right? Don't worry — research has got you covered. Scientists love studying the Benjamins. If you want more money, pay more attention to money --------------------------------------------------- I love talking about money — in part because talking about money means I'm thinking about money. And I get better at the things I think about. (And worse at things I avoid.) ​One meta-study found ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/reh8hohmd98v3ru2/aHR0cHM6Ly9qb3VybmFscy5wbG9zLm9yZy9wbG9zb25lL2FydGljbGU_aWQ9MTAuMTM3MSUyRmpvdXJuYWwucG9uZS4wMjUzOTM4 ) that nudging yourself to think about money — simply, say, tracking spending and bank balances each week — significantly reduces spending and increases savings. (Why? Because if you're interacting with the numbers, it's impossible not to see the trends.) Luckily, there's lots of ways to track money. I use Simplifi ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/08hwh9h2e08w96fl/aHR0cHM6Ly9zaW1wbGlmaS5xdWlja2VuLmNvbS8= ) ($72/yr) to pull my bank balances and credit card transactions into one place. Other options include Tiller ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/8ghqhohode4p2mtk/aHR0cHM6Ly90aWxsZXIuY29tLw== ) ($79/yr - here's a helpful video ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/l2hehmhl25gvndh6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vd2F0Y2g_dj1JTEhRckowelIzVQ== )), Monarch Money ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/m2h7h5h35kr0qxam/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubW9uYXJjaC5jb20v ) ($100/yr) and Copilot Money ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/dpheh0he6z3wo3tm/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuY29waWxvdC5tb25leS8= ) ($95/yr). (RIP Mint.) But an app isn't enough. You need something that pushes you to interact with your finances. (I have a spreadsheet I update by hand every week. There's a simplified version you can copy here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/e0hph7h7v9xwe9a8/aHR0cHM6Ly9kb2NzLmdvb2dsZS5jb20vc3ByZWFkc2hlZXRzL2QvMUFscWpVdlRaSHZZNFlZSVkzeVlLaHFHeWNJT3hyT2hpU0VoTmFhTUpHVWcvZWRpdD91c3A9c2hhcmluZw== ).) The key is to play with the data — type in figures, look at the totals, tell yourself a story about what happened. Messy and noticed is better than clean and ignored. (This is known as 'creating data disfluency ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/7qh7h8h9lvgp8ktz/aHR0cHM6Ly9qb3VybmFscy5zYWdlcHViLmNvbS9kb2kvYWJzLzEwLjExNzcvMDk2MzcyMTQxMzQ5ODg5NA== )'.) I need a budget, right? ----------------------- Yes — but your budget doesn't need to be particularly accurate at first. Budgets are important because they prompt us to make decisions in advance (when it's easier to make the right choice), and to see if we're succeeding or falling behind in our goals. (They also make us less anxious ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/owhkhqhw93zln6tv/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVzZWFyY2hnYXRlLm5ldC9wdWJsaWNhdGlvbi8zOTgxMTI1NDNfVGhlX0ltcGFjdF9vZl9QZXJzb25hbF9CdWRnZXRpbmdfU2tpbGxzX29uX0NvbGxlZ2VfU3R1ZGVudHMnX0ZpbmFuY2lhbF9TdGFiaWxpdHk= ).) The best budgets are perpetual works-in-progress: One study ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/z2hghnhe69gr77fp/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZW1wb3dlci5jb20vdGhlLWN1cnJlbmN5L21vbmV5L3Bvd2VyLWFtYml0aW91cy1idWRnZXRpbmctbmV3cw== ) of 350 million transactions found that people who set unrealistic budgets still spent 22% less than people with no budget at all. There's lots of easy systems ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/p8heh9h46kv5d5uq/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZnQuY29tL2NvbnRlbnQvZTkyM2E4ZTctZjM0ZC00ODYzLWIyNGEtNmEwMjg1OTY2NTg4 ) for setting a budget: The 50/30/20 Rule devotes roughly half your monthly income toward essentials like rent and food, 30% for fun, and 20% toward savings. The Envelope System consists of putting some cash in multiple envelopes on the first of the month (rent, food, drinks with friends) — and when the envelope is empty, you know you need to stop. (You can also do this with multiple bank accounts.) Or, there are online resources. Google Sheets has a monthly budget template ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/x0hph6he28gdzlc5/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZm9vbC5jb20vbW9uZXkvYmFua3MvYXJ0aWNsZXMvbWFzdGVyLXlvdXItbW9uZXktaG93LWdvb2dsZS1zaGVldHMtY2FuLWhlbHAteW91LWJ1aWxkLXRoZS1wZXJmZWN0LWJ1ZGdldC8= ). There's a bunch of other useful templates here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/6qheh8hlrvq6w2so/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVkZGl0LmNvbS9yL3BlcnNvbmFsZmluYW5jZS9jb21tZW50cy9ib3phMGcvaV9tYWRlX2Ffc3ByZWFkc2hlZXRfZm9yX3Blb3BsZV93aG9fZG9udF9rbm93X2hvdy8= ). All those apps I mentioned can create and track budgets. And if you are looking for advice on how to start, I recommend spending some time on Reddit ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/6qheh8hlrvq6w2so/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVkZGl0LmNvbS9yL3BlcnNvbmFsZmluYW5jZS9jb21tZW50cy9ib3phMGcvaV9tYWRlX2Ffc3ByZWFkc2hlZXRfZm9yX3Blb3BsZV93aG9fZG9udF9rbm93X2hvdy8= ). (The first comment is particularly helpful.) But what's most important isn't creating the perfect budget. Rather, you should be interacting with your imperfect, work-in-progress budget, and your behavior will start to change. But there's shortcuts, right? I got an email saying if I buy crypto/gold/weird financial options/AI stocks/girl scout cookies RIGHT NOW! I can double my money. ----------------------------------------------------------------- I think you already know the answer to this question. That said, there are some tips that are useful: * You almost certainly have zombie subscriptions. Subee ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/kkhmh6hnwg72e8hl/aHR0cHM6Ly9zdWJlZS5hcHAv ) is a good way to identify them ($79/yr). The best strategy, however, is downloading all your credit card transactions, sorting by payee, and looking for what (sneakily) repeats each month. * HAVE A MONEY FRIEND. Choose someone to talk about money with every week. Then be honest with them. You'll feel less anxious ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/58hvh7hgxpeo0ma6/aHR0cHM6Ly9uZXdzLmNvcm5lbGwuZWR1L3N0b3JpZXMvMjAyNS8wNy9tb25leS10YWxrcy1ob3ctb3BlbmluZy1jYW4tZWFzZS1maW5hbmNpYWwtc3RyZXNz ) and save more ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/25h2hoh39r50g3h3/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuaGJzLmVkdS9yaXMvUHVibGljYXRpb24lMjBGaWxlcy8xMi0wNjBfOGMxNmY1ZTctNmZhMS00OGNjLTg1OGQtYmJhNWYxMmMyOGJhLnBkZg== ). * Make saving into a game: The 100 envelope challenge ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/qvh8h7hdwgx2voil/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZmlkZWxpdHkuY29tL2xlYXJuaW5nLWNlbnRlci9zbWFydC1tb25leS8xMDAtZW52ZWxvcGUtY2hhbGxlbmdl ) will net you $5,050 in 100 days. * Read random reddit posts ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/g3hnh5hm97vonpur/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVkZGl0LmNvbS9yL3BlcnNvbmFsZmluYW5jZS8= ) (and newsletters) about money. Studies show that financially literate people accumulate significantly more wealth ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/9qhzhnhdwk73xnt9/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmJlci5vcmcvc3lzdGVtL2ZpbGVzL3dvcmtpbmdfcGFwZXJzL3cxNjQ1Mi93MTY0NTIucGRm ) — and literacy comes from reading and trying stuff. (It's okay to ask dumb questions.) * Before any big purchase, make yourself wait 24 hours. You'll be surprised how easy it is to forget about the purchase. (And by the same token: decide in the morning, when temptations and hunger aren't present, what you'll buy for lunch and dinner.) * Don't invest in anything you have learned about on TikTok, YouTube or most of Reddit ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/3ohphkh3m6w9rxtr/aHR0cHM6Ly9ib3N0b25pbnN0aXR1dGVvZmFuYWx5dGljcy5vcmcvYmxvZy9iZWhhdmlvcmFsLWZpbmFuY2UtaW4tMjAyNS1ob3ctcHN5Y2hvbG9neS1pcy1kcml2aW5nLW1hcmtldC10cmVuZHMv ). It's not going to work. Just invest in index funds ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/n2hohvhvqwd5gmf6/aHR0cHM6Ly9pbnZlc3Rvci52YW5ndWFyZC5jb20vaW52ZXN0bWVudC1wcm9kdWN0cw== ). What's your favorite financial tactic? What are you saving up for? Let me know in the comments ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/48hvhehmlzoq9lcx/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9pLzE5MDg4NTI3MC93ZXJlLXlvdS1mb3J3YXJkZWQtdGhpcy1tZXNzYWdlLXNpZ24tdXAtZm9yLW15LW5ld3NsZXR0ZXI= )! Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/wnh2hghq79zvk6b7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) ----------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p/wnh2hghq79zv46c7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9yZXZpZXcvY3JlYXRlLXJldmlldy8_YXNpbj0wNTkzMjQzOTE5JmNoYW5uZWw9Z2xhbmNlLWRldGFpbA== ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/r8u98gwm5luoh3dm7kga2hdn43ne9c7h2no7p )​ ​

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9/n2hohvhvmm565lh6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more ********************************** The recipe for getting things done ********************************** It's hard to motivate when it's cold outside, summer seems so far away and it's the dreariest of months. Luckily, research has some tips on how to boost your motivation. Procrastination is not about time management — it's about emotional regulation. ----------------------------------------------------------------- When we avoid a task, we're not being lazy; we're escaping an uncomfortable feeling (anxiety, boredom, self-doubt, fear of failure). The procrastination brings immediate relief, creating a 'procrastination loop'. So how do we end this loop? * Do the first, smallest step. The hardest moment isn't the work itself, but shifting into the uncertainty of how to start. (What should this newsletter be about? Oh, look, Wordle!) To make the shift easier, choose just one small task ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9/wnh2hghqnnvxvza7/aHR0cHM6Ly9oYnIub3JnLzIwMTgvMDUvaG93LXRvLWFjdHVhbGx5LXN0YXJ0LXRoZS10YXNrLXlvdXZlLWJlZW4tYXZvaWRpbmc= ). (I'm going to look at questions readers have emailed me! That's easy!) * Have a 'procrastination list'. Sometimes we need a break. So I always have a list of tasks that need to get done ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9/08hwh9h2vvwgkosl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAxMy8wMS8xNS9zY2llbmNlL3Bvc2l0aXZlLXByb2NyYXN0aW5hdGlvbi1ub3QtYW4tb3h5bW9yb24uaHRtbA== ) (rent a car for Florida, see what concerts are coming up) that feel like a mini-break, but also need to happen. * Engage in 'temptation bundling': Pair an unpleasant task with something genuinely enjoyable ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9/vqh3hrholl3ed4hg/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM0MzgxNjYyLw== ). (I hate running, so I watch action movies on the treadmill. I highly recommend Extraction 2 ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9/dpheh0hevvw8m7am/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmV0ZmxpeC5jb20vYnJvd3NlP2pidj04MTA5ODQ5NA== ) — and by 'recommend' I mean there is no discernible plot, but lots of explosions to distract you from the pain in your knees.) The right kind of to-do list matters ------------------------------------ When Harvard scientists tested four different ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9/e0hph7h766wq2ki8/aHR0cHM6Ly9oYnIub3JnLzIwMjEvMDEvaS10cmllZC00LXRvLWRvLWxpc3QtbWV0aG9kcy1oZXJlcy13aGF0LXdvcmtlZA== ) approaches to improving focus and productivity, they found the best method was the “do one thing approach". It's okay to have a long list of tasks — a 'memory list'. But that should not be your to-do list. Studies show it triggers a 'need for cognitive closure': You're likely to choose an easy but unimportant item from the list because it makes you feel so good to cross it off as done. Research says there's a better way. Each morning, create a to-do list with just one entry: The most important thing for that day. That's it. If you get that done, you can look at your memory list, and use it to write a new to-do list, with (again) just one entry. The goal is to force yourself to make a choice and do the most important task (rather than chasing the thrill you get from immediate but meaningless busy-ness.) Other miscellaneous suggestions: -------------------------------- Studies show if you have a strong view of your future-self, you'll procrastinate less, save more money, and behave more ethically. The key is vividness ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9/owhkhqhwpplg7wbv/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuaGFsaGVyc2hmaWVsZC5jb20vY29uc2lkZXJpbmctdGhlLWZ1dHVyZS1zZWxm ): Imagine what it feels like to finish that project, or cross the finish line, or close that deal. Spend a few minutes writing down, or imagining, what it sounds like, what you're dressed in, the specific emotions — and you'll find motivation increasing. Or just work alongside someone else, even virtually. "Body doubling" ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9/p8heh9h4mm5glxfq/aHR0cHM6Ly9kbC5hY20ub3JnL2RvaS9mdWxsLzEwLjExNDUvMzY4OTY0OA== ) — working in the presence of another person, even without interacting — has been a staple of ADHD communities for years. You don't have to talk to each other — just knowing someone is there, also working, activates dopamine pathways linked to motivation. Finally, try a little self-compassion, rather than self-criticism. One study ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9/x0hph6heood9lxt5/aHR0cHM6Ly9ncmVhdGVyZ29vZC5iZXJrZWxleS5lZHUvYXJ0aWNsZS9pdGVtL3R3b19Db3VudGVyaW50dWl0aXZlX3dheXNfdG9fc3RvcF9wcm9jcmFzdGluYXRpbmc= ) found that students who forgave themselves for procrastinating on a first exam subsequently procrastinated less on the second one. But students who were hard on themselves showed no such improvement. Why? Because self-criticism triggers shame and anxiety — which reinforces the procrastination loop. So take it easy on yourself, and figure out the first, small step for next time. How do you stop yourself from procrastinating? Let me know in the comments ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9/kkhmh6hnrr263rsl/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9pLzE4OTI5OTI3NS9ob3ctZG8teW91LXN0b3AteW91cnNlbGYtZnJvbS1wcm9jcmFzdGluYXRpbmctbGV0LW1lLWtub3ctaW4tdGhlLWNvbW1lbnRz )! Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9/n2hohvhvmm565lh6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) ----------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9/25h2hoh36604ewu3/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9yZXZpZXcvY3JlYXRlLXJldmlldy8_YXNpbj0wNTkzMjQzOTE5JmNoYW5uZWw9Z2xhbmNlLWRldGFpbA== ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9 ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.kit-mail3.com/68uoegzm2ds8h5z397duohp0gr354u9hvqpz9 )​ ​

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/mvue79k2zgt5hqv2g94umhr22m2qqf3hqkdxo/58hvh7hgqzwqw7t6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more ​ Friends, I hope you don't mind this brief interruption. As you may know, I created a podcast in 2019 named "How To!". The idea was simple: Each week, a listener would call in with a problem, and then we would find an expert to solve that problem - and you got to listen in. (It was kind of like eavesdropping on someone's therapy session, without the co-pay.) The show has been going strong for seven years now, and I'm ecstatic that we've found a new host: Mike Pesca, an award winning journalist and the host of The Gist. If this sounds like your cup of tea, I hope you'll tune in (you can listen to the show and subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/mvue79k2zgt5hqv2g94umhr22m2qqf3hqkdxo/n2hohvhvmk4m4pc6/aHR0cHM6Ly9hcHAubWFnZWxsYW4uYWkvbGlzdGVuX2xpbmtzL00ydFg0TQ== )). Even better if you have a problem that needs solving, let us know! You can send your dilemmas to howto@mikepesca.com ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/mvue79k2zgt5hqv2g94umhr22m2qqf3hqkdxo/48hvhehmvn3v3dbx/bWFpbHRvOmhvd3RvQG1pa2VwZXNjYS5jb20= ) and we'll see if we can't get you on the show. Thanks so much, and I'll be back soon with more advice on the science of better. Charles ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/mvue79k2zgt5hqv2g94umhr22m2qqf3hqkdxo ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/mvue79k2zgt5hqv2g94umhr22m2qqf3hqkdxo )​ ​

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/48hvhehmv90vmxfx/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more ***************************************************************** Happy Valentine's Day! (Here's how researchers say to celebrate.) ***************************************************************** It's February 14th, which means half the nation is scrambling to make dinner reservations, and the other half is wondering why there's nothing at the movie theater besides "Wuthering Heights". (Spoiler alert: they get busy.) Luckily, science has tips on how to bring romance to our everyday lives — whether we're coupled or single, and even if we don't dress in corsets and pantaloons. Seven-year-olds, when writing Valentine's Day cards, like to keep things edgy. Valentine's Day and kissing have weird origins — but both work because they encourage 'savoring'. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Valentine’s Day might seem sweet, but its roots are surprisingly dark ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/wnh2hghqn4rnqli7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnByLm9yZy8yMDExLzAyLzE0LzEzMzY5MzE1Mi90aGUtZGFyay1vcmlnaW5zLW9mLXZhbGVudGluZXMtZGF5 ): Historians trace the holiday to Lupercalia, an ancient Roman festival involving animal sacrifice, where men wore fresh hides to demonstrate their (very smelly) verility. The holiday’s name comes from St. Valentine ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/reh8hohm47q4mpc2/aHR0cHM6Ly9lbi53aWtpcGVkaWEub3JnL3dpa2kvU2FpbnRfVmFsZW50aW5l ), who was beaten to death and then decapitated. So, it makes sense that we now celebrate with chocolates and flirting. Kissing, thankfully, has cheerier origins ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/08hwh9h2vxmv28al/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmJjLmNvbS9mdXR1cmUvYXJ0aWNsZS8yMDIxMDgxMy10aGUtcmVhc29ucy1odW1hbnMtc3RhcnRlZC1raXNzaW5n ): All sorts of animals kiss, and researchers believe it evolved from early caregiving behaviors, like breastfeeding, and persists because getting face-to-face ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/8ghqhohoz3gzqehk/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmJjLmNvbS9uZXdzL2FydGljbGVzL2NyNDNncTYxZzJxbw== ) provides valuable clues about a potential mate's health (bad breath?) and empathy/aggression (is he a soft kisser?) But most important, and the reason kissing and dates are fun is because of what psychologists refer to as 'anticipation' and 'savoring' ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/vqh3hrhol4nlexug/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM4NzEyNjY3Lw== ). Researchers distinguish between 'proactive savoring' (leaning in to initiate a kiss) and 'reactive savoring' (kissing back, and slowing down to make it last). Romance occurs when we experience excited/anxious anticipation and then both kinds of savoring: So if you work up the courage to go for a smooch, and are hoping for fireworks, take it slow when they respond. Have you ever dated a microbiologist? But what if I'm single on Valentine's Day? (Actually, that's a good thing!) ----------------------------------------------------------------- It's great to be single on Valentine's Day. In fact, we more likely to find a meaningful sense of romance when we're feeling independent. Researchers have found that single people experience just as much love and passion in their daily lives as couples. In one experiment, volunteers at a retirement home asked residents about their love lives ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/l2hehmhle4oe6ni6/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM2OTM4MjU0Lw== ). For retirees, recalling past flings was as satisfying as a new liaison. More important, volunteers found that listening to romantic stories — whether the listener was single or in a relationship — satisfied their passion needs (and made them feel wonderful) more than a date. (Rom-coms ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/m2h7h5h3v9ovm9hm/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZWFsZXJ0LmNvbS90aGVyZXMtYS1zY2llbmNlLXRvLXRoZS1wZXJmZWN0LXJvbS1jb20tYW4tZXhwZXJ0LWV4cGxhaW5z ) can do the same thing.) Why? Because when we're in control of our emotions, it's easier to give them free rein. Independence lets us swoon even deeper. So, why not engage in a little self love? One study ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/dpheh0hevkqv8wtm/aHR0cHM6Ly9tZWRpdW0uY29tL2JldHRlci1hZHZpY2UvaWYteW91LXdhbnQtdG8tZ2V0LW91dC1vZi15b3VyLWhlYWQtc3RhcnQtd3JpdGluZy1sb3ZlLWxldHRlcnMtdG8teW91cnNlbGYtZWU1NGUwNDIzNjlk ) found that writing a compassionate letter to your future self — or a platonic friend — offers benefits that last for months. If you're more into e-mail, you can use FutureMe.org ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/7qh7h8h9q80qw4sz/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZnV0dXJlbWUub3JnLw== ). And, of course, some varieties of self love ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/owhkhqhwpn4pg4tv/aHR0cHM6Ly9ueW1hZy5jb20vc3RyYXRlZ2lzdC9hcnRpY2xlL2Jlc3QtdmlicmF0b3JzLmh0bWw= ) are especially easy and satisfying — and less time consuming than dinner and a movie. Valentine's Day photos slay. Okay, but I've been married for an eternity. What should I do to keep the spark alive? ----------------------------------------------------------------- Give your brains goal-directed novelty. In 2005, researchers examined the brains ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/p8heh9h4md9mg4cq/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVzZWFyY2hnYXRlLm5ldC9wdWJsaWNhdGlvbi83ODE0MjAwX0Fyb25fQV9GaXNoZXJfSF9NYXNoZWtfREpfU3Ryb25nX0dfTGlfSF9Ccm93bl9MTF9SZXdhcmRfbW90aXZhdGlvbl9hbmRfZW1vdGlvbl9zeXN0ZW1zX2Fzc29jaWF0ZWRfd2l0aF9lYXJseS1zdGFnZV9pbnRlbnNlX3JvbWFudGljX2xvdmVfSl9OZXVyb3BoeXNpb2xfOTRfMzI3LTMzNw== ) of people in new relationships and found that simply viewing a partner’s face activated dopamine-rich motivation circuits — the same regions involved in goal pursuit. Early love isn’t really an emotion. It’s a drive, a form of focused attention and shared goals that excite us to act because they're new. Over time, these motivations fade. (Your lovers face, alas, just becomes a face.) But the spark is re-ignited when we encounter something that triggers a fresh sense of focused attention, shared goals and excitement. (That's why you are friskier on an exciting trip.) So, find a new hobby (anyone for a kissing class ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/x0hph6heozno99u5/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyNS8xMi8xOS9zdHlsZS9tYXJyaWFnZS1hZHZpY2UtcmVsYXRpb25zaGlwLWxlc3NvbnMuaHRtbA== )?) Or slip an unexpected candy bar ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/6qheh8hlzwpznoio/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2VsZi5jb20vc3RvcnkvaG93LXRvLWZlZWwtY2xvc2VyLXRvLXlvdXItcGFydG5lcg== ) into their coat pocket. As we get older, we're just as likely ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/kkhmh6hnre8r64hl/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUMzODQ4ODg3Lw== ) to fall (and stay) in love as youngsters — as long as we're doing something new. Scrambling for a Valentine's Day gift? We can help ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/58hvh7hgq05qk3i6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyNi8wMS8yOS90LW1hZ2F6aW5lL3ZhbGVudGluZXMtZGF5LWdpZnQtaWRlYXMuaHRtbA== )! Want to press those flowers you got? Here's how ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/25h2hoh36g7646i3/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmhtLmFjLnVrL2Rpc2NvdmVyL2hvdy10by1wcmVzcy1mbG93ZXJzLmh0bWw= )! What are you planning for this evening? Let me know in the comments ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/qvh8h7hdzv8zowbl/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9wL2hhcHB5LXZhbGVudGluZXMtZGF5LWhlcmVzLWhvdy1yZXNlYXJjaGVycw== )! Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/48hvhehmv90vmxfx/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) ----------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p/g3hnh5hmrner6wcr/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9yZXZpZXcvY3JlYXRlLXJldmlldy8_YXNpbj0wNTkzMjQzOTE5JmNoYW5uZWw9Z2xhbmNlLWRldGFpbA== ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/r8u98gwm5luoh34wkpga2hdnn8n66s7h2no7p )​ ​

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/reh8hohmkoo7zwb2/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more ********************************** What we can learn from cold places ********************************** It's February. Half the U.S. is covered in ice. The news is depressing. (And newspapers are disappearing ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/08hwh9h2nppxrzsl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudGhlYXRsYW50aWMuY29tL3BvbGl0aWNzLzIwMjYvMDIvd2FzaGluZ3Rvbi1wb3N0LWxheW9mZnMtYmV6b3MvNjg1ODcyLw== ) faster than wives on the Lifetime channel ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/8ghqhohow773nksk/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS9zZWFyY2g_b3E9d2hhdCUyMGFyZSUyMGFsbCUyMHRoZSUyMGxpZmV0aW1lJTIwbW92aWVzJTIwd2hlcmUlMjB0aGUlMjB3aWZlJTIwZGllZCZxPXdoYXQlMjBhcmUlMjBhbGwlMjB0aGUlMjBsaWZldGltZSUyMG1vdmllcyUyMHdoZXJlJTIwdGhlJTIwd2lmZSUyMGRpZWQlM0Y= )). In other words, things are a little rough right now. But fear not! There are ways to handle the February blues! Just look at what they do in other really cold countries. “Coming to Helsinki in February is an objectively weird choice,” said a man named Mikko Tirronen. “During this time, we don’t have …” he paused. “… colors.” (Read more here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/l2hehmhlqdd47eb6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyNS8wNS8wMi9tYWdhemluZS9maW5sYW5kLWhhcHBpZXN0LWNvdW50cnkuaHRtbA== ).) The happiest nations are the ones with the darkest winters. (Which forces everyone to get social.) ----------------------------------------------------------------- According to the 2025 World Happiness Report ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/dpheh0hed22knnum/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cud29ybGRoYXBwaW5lc3MucmVwb3J0L2VkLzIwMjUvZXhlY3V0aXZlLXN1bW1hcnkv ), Finland is the happiest country on earth. The other top nations are all nearby: Denmark, Iceland, Sweden and the Netherlands. What do they all have in common? They're really cold in the winter — which means people have to count on each other. In Finland, for instance, when the dark days of February approach, people start planning regular get togethers in advance ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/l2hehmhlqdd47eb6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyNS8wNS8wMi9tYWdhemluZS9maW5sYW5kLWhhcHBpZXN0LWNvdW50cnkuaHRtbA== ). (There's a saying: "Build the sauna, then the house.") In the Netherlands, people are encouraged to leave work earlier ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/e0hph7h7mddeogs8/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cub2VjZC5vcmcvY29udGVudC9kYW0vb2VjZC9lbi9wdWJsaWNhdGlvbnMvcmVwb3J0cy8yMDE5LzA5L3BhcnQtdGltZS1hbmQtcGFydGx5LWVxdWFsLWdlbmRlci1hbmQtd29yay1pbi10aGUtbmV0aGVybGFuZHNfM2M1OWM3YWYvMjA0MjM1Y2YtZW4ucGRm ) in the winter so they can see friends on their way home. In Sweden, communal coffee breaks ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/7qh7h8h9dxx852sz/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudGhlZ3VhcmRpYW4uY29tL2xpZmVhbmRzdHlsZS8yMDIzL25vdi8wOC9maWthLWZvdXItd2Vlay1ob2xpZGF5cy1hbmQtemVyby1vdmVydGltZS1zd2VkZW5zLXN0dW5uaW5nbHktaGVhbHRoeS13b3JrLWN1bHR1cmU= ), known as a fika, are so critical for productivity they're written into employment contracts. All these tactics point to the same insight: You know this month is going to be rough. So fight the February blues by spending time with other people. (But that won't happen on it's own — you have to schedule it.) Ain't no party like a Scottish Viking party 'cause a Scottish Viking party don't stop But how do I schedule socialization? It's really hard to go outside. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Plan for the daylight hours, and make those plans specific. In Iceland nearly the entire nation participates in monthly book exchanges known as Jólabókaflóð ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/z2hghnhe5mm7xlcp/aHR0cHM6Ly9qb2xhYm9rYWZsb2Qub3JnL2Fib3V0L2ZvdW5kaW5nLXN0b3J5Lw== ) (literal translation: "Christmas Book Flood") that often feature dance parties, comedy shows and piles of cookies and cakes. In Basel, the city hosts a three-day February extravaganza, Basler Fasnacht ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/6qheh8hlx33weqbo/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmFzbGVyZmFzbmFjaHQuaW5mby9iYXNlbC1mYXNuYWNodC8= ), which is like Rio Carnival and Mardi Gras combined, but in polar fleece (and with even more nudity, which is impressive). On the northern coast of Scotland, cities burn Viking longships ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/25h2hoh3lqqgz8c3/aHR0cHM6Ly9lbi53aWtpcGVkaWEub3JnL3dpa2kvVXBfSGVsbHlfQWE= ) on the last Tuesday in January and cheer on the flames. Research says these kinds of activities work because the best winter plans follow a formula: connection + movement + light ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/9qhzhnhd4eexmla9/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmltaC5uaWguZ292L2hlYWx0aC9wdWJsaWNhdGlvbnMvc2Vhc29uYWwtYWZmZWN0aXZlLWRpc29yZGVyPw== ) (walking and chatting with a friend in the winter sun is better than having coffee inside). And it doesn't have to be long: the correct "dose", according to studies, is just 15 minutes. Finally, remember that winter plans die in the dark. Build around the sunlight. ("Let's meet at 1:30" is better than "Let's meet after work.") In Calgary, there is a tradition of making art by throwing water into the air so it instantly freezes until your parents scream at you to quit risking hypothermia and get back indoors. But what can I do when I'm alone? --------------------------------- There's a clinical name for the winter blues: Seasonal Affective Disorder, also known as SAD (to which I say: Nice job with the acronym, scientists). Studies say SAD can be battled through a number of techniques, including: * "Dawn simulation ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/48hvhehmw779erfx/aHR0cHM6Ly9wdWJtZWQubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi8xMTUxMzgyMC8= )" via bright morning lights. There's lots of 'sunrise alarm clocks ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/08hwh9h2nppx5zfl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vd2lyZWN1dHRlci9yZXZpZXdzL2Jlc3Qtc3VucmlzZS1hbGFybS1jbG9jay8= )' that can nudge your brain into thinking that spring is near. Exposure to bright light after waking up triggers neurotransmitters associated with happiness — and makes it easier to fall asleep later. * "High-density negative air ionization ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/m2h7h5h32ll9p5hm/aHR0cHM6Ly9qYW1hbmV0d29yay5jb20vam91cm5hbHMvamFtYXBzeWNoaWF0cnkvZnVsbGFydGljbGUvMjA0MzM0 )" has been shown to have antidepressant effects and fight SAD in clinical studies. I agree this idea sounds kooky — the air makes you happier! — but researchers say it works. The key is using a 'high-density' device, like this one ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/owhkhqhwx00nv2cv/aHR0cHM6Ly9jZXQub3JnL3Nob3AvcG9wdWxhci1wcm9kdWN0cy93ZWluLXZvcnRleC12aS0zNTAwLXJvb20taW9uaWMtYWlyLXB1cmlmaWVyLw== ) or that one ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/6qheh8hlx33wgqco/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9QT01PUk9OLU1KMDAySC1QdXJpZmllcnMtR2VuZXJhdG9yLVBhcnRpY2xlcy9kcC9CMDlUUkpMVFBWLz90aD0x ). * Consistent sleep patterns are critical. Your body wants to change your sleep schedule ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/58hvh7hg3440dva6/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM4NzMzODU5Lw== ) when there's less daylight, but that screws up emotional regulation and physical health. So have a firm schedule of when you will put away your phone, turn off the lights, get into bed, and wake up. It can take a few evenings for your body to adapt — but the consistency works. What's your winter hack? Let me know in the comments ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/qvh8h7hdellvmvil/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9wL3doYXQtd2UtY2FuLWxlYXJuLWZyb20tY29sZC1wbGFjZXM= )! And, I had an article in the New Yorker about what scientists say about why MAGA has succeeded as a movement — and what the Democrats should learn. Check it out! ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/9qhzhnhd4eexvlt9/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmV3eW9ya2VyLmNvbS9tYWdhemluZS8yMDI2LzAyLzAyL3doYXQtbWFnYS1jYW4tdGVhY2gtZGVtb2NyYXRzLWFib3V0LW9yZ2FuaXppbmctYW5kLWluZmlnaHRpbmc= )​ ​ Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/reh8hohmkoo7zwb2/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) ----------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde/n2hohvhv2llg9nf6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9yZXZpZXcvY3JlYXRlLXJldmlldy8_YXNpbj0wNTkzMjQzOTE5JmNoYW5uZWw9Z2xhbmNlLWRldGFpbA== ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/27ul25976pioh860xo3s3hg338344hghv2kde )​ ​

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/25h2hoh3l4ol78b3/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more ***************************************************************** What to do when you can't go outside because it's really, really cold. ***************************************************************** A "major Arctic outbreak" is arriving. In Vermont, they are forecasting minus 40 degrees ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/qvh8h7hdeo6e8vcl/aHR0cHM6Ly92dGRpZ2dlci5vcmcvMjAyNi8wMS8yMi90ZW1wcy10by1wbHVtbWV0LWFzLWJpdHRlci1jb2xkLWZyb250LWFwcHJvYWNoZXMtcHJvbXB0aW5nLWVtZXJnZW5jeS1zaGVsdGVycy10by1vcGVuLw== )! Trees might explode ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/g3hnh5hmg6zgeofr/aHR0cHM6Ly94LmNvbS9NYXhWZWxvY2l0eVdYL3N0YXR1cy8yMDEzNzg2OTYwMTc5OTk1MDA0 )! There's something called a "frost quake ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/9qhzhnhd4z24gla9/aHR0cHM6Ly94LmNvbS9NaVN0b3JtQ2hhc2Vycy9zdGF0dXMvMjAxNDA2NTU3MjYxNTUzMjY0NA== )"! Luckily, there's lots of studies about how to stay warm and upbeat amid the chill. Everyone needs a good kotatsu table ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/3ohphkh3x4dxqdfr/aHR0cHM6Ly9ib2trc3UuY29tL2Jsb2dzL25ld3Mva290YXRzdS1jdWx0dXJlLWhvdy1qYXBhbi1zdGF5cy13YXJtLXdpdGgtdGhlLXVsdGltYXRlLWhlYXRlZC10YWJsZT9zcnNsdGlkPUFmbUJPb3FGRXhFakhId2RMcGZyclJyX1lUVWt0OV9YS3RRRDVxaXZQd2g1RDNkZmtUak5fZm9X ). Frigid nations have this all figured out. Let's steal their best ideas. ----------------------------------------------------------------- In Norway, where winter sunlight only lasts about seven hours, some towns install large mirrors on mountainsides ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/48hvhehmw62w0rax/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmJjLmNvbS9mdXR1cmUvYXJ0aWNsZS8yMDE3MDMxNC10aGUtdG93bi10aGF0LWJ1aWx0LWEtbWlycm9yLXRvLWNhdGNoLXRoZS1zdW4= ) to reflect sunlight into the town square — which has the additional benefit of nudging everyone to gather together and socialize. (So install some mirrors near your windows, and bounce them to where everyone can meet.) In Siberia, one of the coldest and darkest places on earth, people spend winters eating stroganina ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/wnh2hghqmxomrqi7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYXRsYXNvYnNjdXJhLmNvbS9mb29kcy9zdHJvZ2FuaW5hLXlha3V0c2stcnVzc2lh ): raw, paper-thin slices of frozen fish (think popsicle sashimi ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/08hwh9h2ng7nmzcl/aHR0cHM6Ly9yb2Fkc2FuZGtpbmdkb21zLmNvbS8yMDEyL3N0cm9nb25pbmEtZnJvemVuLXNhc2hpbWktb2YtdGhlLXJ1c3NpYW4tYXJjdGljLw== )) because oily fish can provide the vitamin D you normally get from the sun. Or, try eating UV-exposed mushrooms ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/vqh3hrhomekmnmtg/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM2MjEzMTc4Lw== ), which transmit some of the sun's health to your gut. In Japan, it's common for wintry households to break out a Kotatsu table ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/l2hehmhlq6kqoec6/aHR0cHM6Ly9lbi53aWtpcGVkaWEub3JnL3dpa2kvS290YXRzdQ== ): a wooden frame with an internal electric heater and a huge blanket to trap the heat. (That's a photo of a Kotatsu table above.) People love these things (some people sleep under them), and you can order them for just a few hundred bucks ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/m2h7h5h32mn2o5fm/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9zP2s9a290YXRzdSUyMHRhYmxl ). (Or you can get a really nice one for a bit more ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/dpheh0hed87dqntm/aHR0cHM6Ly9rb3RhdHN1LXRva3lvLmNvbS9jb2xsZWN0aW9ucy9rb3RhdHN1 ).) You mean, I get to wear the hat and fight a tree? I'm in. But how do I stay connected to people? It's too cold to see anyone! ----------------------------------------------------------------- Social interaction is very important during winter months. And so it's critical that you plan your socialization. Studies show just 15 minutes of talking ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/e0hph7h7mqnmkgs8/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZm9yYmVzLmNvbS9zaXRlcy9jYXJvbGluZWNhc3RyaWxsb24vMjAyNS8wNi8wNC81LXN0cmF0ZWdpZXMtdG8tcHJldmVudC1zb2NpYWwtaXNvbGF0aW9uLXdoZW4td29ya2luZy1yZW1vdGVseS8= ) can do the trick — so schedule a quick zoom with your bestie. Or go asynchronous and start sending voice chats ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/7qh7h8h9dw4d02hz/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZm9yYmVzLmNvbS9zaXRlcy9icnlhbnJvYmluc29uLzIwMjUvMDUvMDkvdGhlLXJlbW90ZS13b3JrLXBhcmFkb3gtNC13YXlzLXRvLXN0YXktc2FuZS13aGVuLXRoZS1pc29sYXRpb24tZHJpdmVzLXlvdS1jcmF6eS8= ) to each other. (Marco Polo ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/owhkhqhwxg8x42iv/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubWFyY29wb2xvLm1lLw== ) makes it easy.) Or find a group hobby ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/z2hghnhe5pd5olbp/aHR0cHM6Ly9vbmxpbmVsaWJyYXJ5LndpbGV5LmNvbS9kb2kvZXBkZi8xMC4xMDAyL2hiZTIuMjQy ) you can do online: Wplace.live ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/p8heh9h4rg7r9ptq/aHR0cHM6Ly93cGxhY2UubGl2ZS8= ) lets artsy types create together by changing one pixel at a time. GeoGuessr ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/x0hph6hek97knmu5/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ2VvZ3Vlc3NyLmNvbS8= ) make you feel like you're traveling around the world with teammates. You can also play Codenames ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/kkhmh6hnz69zlgbl/aHR0cHM6Ly9zdGFnZS5jb2RlbmFtZXMuZ2FtZS8= ), a knockoff of Cards Against Humanity ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/58hvh7hg3k93mvu6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuY2FyZHNhZ2FpbnN0Zm9ybWFsaXR5LmlvLw== ) or Othello ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/25h2hoh3l4ol28c3/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZW90aGVsbG8uY29tLw== ) online with friends! (A minute to learn, a lifetime to hear trash talk.) Here are some really big ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/qvh8h7hdeo6ervil/aHR0cHM6Ly9kb2NzLmdvb2dsZS5jb20vZG9jdW1lbnQvdS8wL2QvMTBpT0Q3V3lfWVU0Tm1rUFU3Wkg3WVRycTExcUpBQU5qWlowUEFvdEtoUjgvbW9iaWxlYmFzaWM= ) lists ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/g3hnh5hmg6zg3ohr/aHR0cHM6Ly9kb2NzLmdvb2dsZS5jb20vc3ByZWFkc2hlZXRzL2QvMU9FU2pKd25TVmhZSDg0bXJBOUxIMGhCNy1yZGpKSzhLVmExdlFLbUJUR3MvZWRpdD9naWQ9MTY0Mzc0MTgxNiNnaWQ9MTY0Mzc0MTgxNg== ) of online versions of nearly any game. Best of all, go visit a sauna and strike up a conversation. Numerous studies ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/3ohphkh3x4dx7dhr/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmJjLmNvbS9mdXR1cmUvYXJ0aWNsZS8yMDI1MDUyMC1hcmUtc2F1bmFzLWFuZC1jb2xkLXBsdW5nZXMtZ29vZC1mb3IteW91ci1oZWFsdGg= ) show regular sauna use lowers the risks of heart disease, stroke and early death. Also, it's pretty hard not to feel close to someone after you've been half naked while screaming "this is so hot!" together. (You can find a local sauna here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/n2hohvhv26o23nf6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2F1bmFmaW5kZXIub3JnLw== ) or here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/wnh2hghqmxomwqb7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2F1bmF0aW1lcy5jb20vc2F1bmEtdHJhdmVsLw== ) or here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/reh8hohmkw5k0ws2/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbHVuZ2VzYXVuYWZpbmRlci5jb20v ).) Okay, but I need to get some work done. And it's harder in the winter. What should I do? ----------------------------------------------------------------- First, it's important to work with your body's natural energy rhythms ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/08hwh9h2ng7ndzil/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM4MDYzOTMzLw== ), instead of fighting them. Numerous studies ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/8ghqhohowq5wlkhk/aHR0cHM6Ly9hcnhpdi5vcmcvYWJzLzIwMDQuMDY1OTQ= ) show we're more focused and less stressed when do our most demanding work during high-energy hours, and let ourselves rest when our energy ebbs. (And if you don't know your energy rhythms, here's a site ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/vqh3hrhomekmpmug/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucHN5Y2hvbG9neXRvZGF5LmNvbS91cy9ibG9nL3NsZWVwLW5ld3p6ei8yMDIxMDQvd2hhdC15b3UtbmVlZC10by1rbm93LWFib3V0LXlvdXItY2hyb25vdHlwZQ== ) to help you figure out your individual 'chronotype'.) Next, you need a system to create structure (especially when you're homebound). Some of the most popular are the Pomodoro Technique ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/l2hehmhlq6kq3ei6/aHR0cHM6Ly9lbi53aWtpcGVkaWEub3JnL3dpa2kvUG9tb2Rvcm9fVGVjaG5pcXVl ) and Time Blocking ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/m2h7h5h32mn285hm/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudG9kb2lzdC5jb20vcHJvZHVjdGl2aXR5LW1ldGhvZHMvdGltZS1ibG9ja2luZw== ). To make those burst most productive, consider task batching ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/dpheh0hed87d0num/aHR0cHM6Ly9hcHBsb3llLmNvbS9ibG9nL3RpbWUtbWFuYWdlbWVudC10ZWNobmlxdWVzLw== ) by grouping similar tasks (emails, errands, admin work, creative brainstorming), so you avoid the mental exhaustion of jumping between activities. Finally, seek out cleanliness and sunlight. It's okay to do the dishes before you start writing that memo — the cleaning, in fact, is part of the writing process ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/e0hph7h7mqnm0gf8/aHR0cHM6Ly9wdWJtZWQubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi8yMTIyODE2Ny8= ). And it's great to move your desk next to a window (or use a mirror to bounce light around). Researchers found that when people have more daylight exposure ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/7qh7h8h9dw4do2hz/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubWRwaS5jb20vMTY2MC00NjAxLzE4LzE5Lzk5ODA= ) their circadian rhythms stay more aligned — and so they fall asleep earlier, wake up with more energy, and report better moods and vitality. Finally, if you're looking for something to read as you stay cozy inside, let me recommend two new books by some of my favorite authors! Flourish: The Art of Building Meaning, Joy, and Fulfillment ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/owhkhqhwxg8xr2bv/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9GbG91cmlzaC1BcnQtQnVpbGRpbmctTWVhbmluZy1GdWxmaWxsbWVudC9kcC8wNTI1NjIwNzAyLw== ) by Daniel Coyle (author of The Culture Code) is all about how to have a better, more meaningful life (even when it's dark outside) and The Other Side of Change: Who We Become When Life Makes Other Plans ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/z2hghnhe5pd53lcp/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9PdGhlci1TaWRlLUNoYW5nZS1CZWNvbWUtTWFrZXMvZHAvQjBGNTRTNVlIRC8= ) by cognitive scientist Maya Shankar explores how we become stronger — and often happier — when life serves up unexpected upheaval. What's the weather like where you live? Have any trees exploded from the cold? What's your favorite indoor activity on a snowy day? Let us know in the comments ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/p8heh9h4rg7rzpuq/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9wL3doYXQtdG8tZG8td2hlbi15b3UtY2FudC1nby1vdXRzaWRl )! Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/25h2hoh3l4ol78b3/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) ----------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d/x0hph6hek97kwma5/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9yZXZpZXcvY3JlYXRlLXJldmlldy8_YXNpbj0wNTkzMjQzOTE5JmNoYW5uZWw9Z2xhbmNlLWRldGFpbA== ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/d0ukev2g6wa0hodgqmwtmhzlveq44blh3xg8d )​ ​

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/6qheh8hl032wgqbo/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more ******************************************************* Make 2026 the best year ever! (With help from science.) ******************************************************* The second Friday in January is known as "Quitter's Day" because that's when New Year's resolutions usually fail. But you're better than that! Here's a few secrets on how to make your plans stick. Resolutions? We don't need no stinking resolutions! --------------------------------------------------- The best resolutions don't focus on a goal, but rather a process ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/n2hohvhvelog9ni6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vd2F0Y2g_dj10aFNFb0cyXzZJbw== ). (So instead of I'm going to lose 20 pounds!, set a plan: I'm going to run twice a week!) Just doing the activity is more important than the outcome. (Running once around the block counts.) If you're struggling, it might be that you need to give yourself more options ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/vqh3hrho8qk49mtg/aHR0cHM6Ly90aW1lLmNvbS83MzQyNzA0L25ldy15ZWFyLXJlc29sdXRpb25zLw== ). Our brains get binary very quickly (if I run 3 miles, I'm great; if I run 1.5, I'm a loser). The solution is expanding the menu of choices (if I run 3 miles, or lift weights for 20 minutes, or learn to cook a soufflé, then I'm awesome). So come up with a list ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/6qheh8hl032w8qco/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnByLm9yZy90cmFuc2NyaXB0cy9ueC1zMS01NjYxNTM2 ) of, say, 26 things you want to achieve in 2026. That way, you don't have to exercise every day because today is a cooking day (#28: perfect my omelette flip). Motivation is easier to generate when we feel in control. Lastly, studies indicate one of the most effective strategies is a "nudge word" ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/9qhzhnhdne2xolt9/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucHN5Y2hvbG9neXRvZGF5LmNvbS91cy9ibG9nL2NoYW5nZXBvd2VyLzIwMjMwMS82LXVudXN1YWwtYWx0ZXJuYXRpdmVzLXRvLXRyYWRpdGlvbmFsLW5ldy15ZWFycy1yZXNvbHV0aW9ucw== ): a word or phrase that captures the mindset you want, that you can whisper when you feel yourself slipping. (Some good ones: “Excellence, not perfection” or “Any amount is better than none.” Here's a nudge word generator ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/48hvhehmk7294rux/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cud2FzaGluZ3RvbnBvc3QuY29tL3dlbGxuZXNzL2ludGVyYWN0aXZlLzIwMjUvbmV3LXllYXItaW50ZW50aW9uLW51ZGdlLXdvcmQv ).) Amish baseball games get very intense. (Really! ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/reh8hohmno57gwf2/aHR0cHM6Ly9uZXdyZXB1YmxpYy5jb20vYXJ0aWNsZS8xMTI2MTYvYW1pc2gtYmFzZWJhbGwtYm95cy1sYW5jYXN0ZXI= )) But what about when it gets hard? I'm already sick of exercising. ----------------------------------------------------------------- First off, make sure you don't have too many plans all at once: Focus on one aspiration at a time ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/l2hehmhlwdk48ei6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuaGJzLmVkdS9yaXMvUHVibGljYXRpb24lMjBGaWxlcy8wOS0wODMucGRm ) — more is misery. And don't aim too high (at least initially). Studies show that when we set an audacious goal ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/dpheh0her27klnbm/aHR0cHM6Ly9wbWMubmNiaS5ubG0ubmloLmdvdi9hcnRpY2xlcy9QTUM4NDkwNzUxLw== ) and then fall short, it lowers our mood, self-esteem, and motivation. Instead, take advantage of the science of small wins ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/z2hghnhe0md7qlfp/aHR0cHM6Ly96ZW5vLW9yZ2FuaXNhdGllb250d2lra2VsaW5nLm5sL3plbm8vd3AtY29udGVudC91cGxvYWRzLzIwMjEvMDUvV2VpY2stSy4tMTk4NC1TbWFsbC1XaW5zX1JlZGVmaW5pbmctdGhlLVNjYWxlLW9mLVNvY2lhbC1Qcm9ibGVtcy1BbWVyaWNhbi1Qc3ljaG9sb2dpc3QtMzMtMS00MC00OS5wZGY= ): choose a small achievement — and let the motivation of easy success carry you to bigger plans. Finally, there's nothing special about January: But there is something special about a date you decide is special (like January 1). So set a ​"calendar of catalysts"​ ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/dpheh0her27kl3sm/aHR0cHM6Ly9ncmV0Y2hlbnJ1YmluLmNvbS93cC1jb250ZW50L3VwbG9hZHMvMjAyMy8wMi9DYWxlbmRhcl9vZl9DYXRhbHlzdHNfUGVycGV0dWFsXzIwMjNfVXBkYXRlLnBkZg== ) where each month you choose a special day, and a ritual, to celebrate your victories, change what's not working, and renew your determination. If you start small, and give yourself choices, you'll be exercising on auto-pilot by March. The Gloucestershire Cheese Rolling ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/owhkhqhw508nq6cv/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc29nbG9zLmNvbS9ldmVudC9vdXRkb29ycy9nbG91Y2VzdGVyc2hpcmUtY2hlZXNlLXJvbGxpbmcvMTc5NDMv ) has occurred almost every year since 1823 to determine which Gloucesterians don't understand physics. What about other people? Should I make my spouse run with me? ------------------------------------------------------------- If you can, yes! It's only recently that New Year’s resolutions became solo acts. They were once communal ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/x0hph6hex47zqlf5/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudGhlYXRsYW50aWMuY29tL2ZhbWlseS8yMDI1LzEyL25ldy15ZWFyLXJlc29sdXRpb24tY29tbXVuYWwvNjg1NDM2Lw== ), tied to rituals that emphasized shared well-being. It's much easier to change in the company of others. So tell people about your January plan! But who you tell matters: A series of studies ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/kkhmh6hn4o9ex8fl/aHR0cHM6Ly9uZXdzLm9zdS5lZHUvc2hhcmUteW91ci1nb2Fscy0tYnV0LWJlLWNhcmVmdWwtd2hvbS15b3UtdGVsbC8= ) found we're more likely to follow through if we share our intentions with someone we look up to, like a mentor, teacher, or someone we admire. (I email Barack Obama with my plans every January. Really. He has never emailed back.) Finally, it's okay to change your intentions. In fact, it's essential ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/58hvh7hgl4906mf6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAxOC8wNi8wNS9zbWFydGVyLWxpdmluZy9rbm93aW5nLXdoZW4tdG8tcXVpdC5odG1s ). See January as an experiment. You're testing what works and what doesn't — and wise scientists know that when an experiment doesn't work, it isn't failure. It's learning. So, set a small goal, like avoiding email until 10 am, or reading instead of doomscrolling ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/25h2hoh3nqogm3f3/aHR0cHM6Ly9yeWFuaG9saWRheS5tZWRpdW0uY29tL3RoZS1zZWNyZXQtdG8tYmV0dGVyLWhhYml0cy1pbi0yMDI2LTNjYWVlYTVjMjBlMw== ), or deciding to focus on the process, rather than the outcome. And if something isn't working, that's okay. There's another month coming up. What are your January plans? How do you keep yourself motivated? Let me know in the comments ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/g3hnh5hmx0znqpur/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9wL21ha2UtMjAyNi10aGUtYmVzdC15ZWFyLWV2ZXItd2l0aA== )! Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/6qheh8hl032wgqbo/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) ----------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w/3ohphkh3vkdrpxar/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9yZXZpZXcvY3JlYXRlLXJldmlldy8_YXNpbj0wNTkzMjQzOTE5JmNoYW5uZWw9Z2xhbmNlLWRldGFpbA== ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/75uz70vpkrt8h6d4k27izhweg7o66bnhg2m4w )​ ​

​ Forwarded this email? Subscribe here ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/l2hehmhlwe3zp0t6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) for more ******************************************* Random Bits of Knowledge About The New Year ******************************************* I'm sure you're still recovering from New Year's Eve. And we'll be back soon with some advice on making — and sticking to — New Year resolutions. (It can be done!) In the meantime, here's an amuse-bouche of New Year's trivia. The Times Square Ball Drop once had a practical use --------------------------------------------------- Times Square’s famous New Year’s Eve ball drop traces back to a 19th-century navigation tool ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/m2h7h5h3wv87xqbm/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmJjLmNvbS90cmF2ZWwvYXJ0aWNsZS8yMDE5MTIxMi10aGUtaW52ZW50aW9uLXRoYXQtaW5zcGlyZWQtYS1uZXcteW9yay10cmFkaXRpb24= ): The “time ball,” invented to help sailors set their ship chronometers accurately from a distance. In 1829, British Royal Navy officer Robert Wauchope used a highly visible ball that was raised and then dropped at an exact moment so ships in port could synchronize their clocks without sending someone ashore. From there, time balls spread to ports worldwide, including New York in 1907, where it was adopted when Times Square needed a replacement for banned fireworks. Times Square drops roughly 3,000 pounds of confetti ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/7qh7h8h93qomemcz/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuY2JzbmV3cy5jb20vbmV3eW9yay9uZXdzL2NvbmZldHRpLXRlc3QtdGltZXMtc3F1YXJlLW5ldy15ZWFycy1ldmUtMjAyNi8= ) at midnight. Organizers do a public “confetti test” beforehand, which is messy, and some of the confetti comes from the “Wishing Wall” where people write their wishes on slips of paper that are then blown all over the city, to be picked up by confused residents. There are A LOT of New Year's traditions ---------------------------------------- Everyone knows about the kiss at midnight. But were you aware you also should eat 12 grapes ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/z2hghnhe0n38zocp/aHR0cHM6Ly9hcmNoaXZlLmlzLzIwMjMxMjI5MjMwNDQzL2h0dHBzOi8vd3d3LnZvZ3VlLmNvbS9hcnRpY2xlL25ldy15ZWFycy1ldmUtdHJhZGl0aW9ucw== )? (In Spain, those pieces of fruit are believed to bring 12 months of prosperity.) In Latin America, people take their empty suitcases on a run ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/x0hph6hexowlmea5/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbWlnb3NpbnRlcm5hdGlvbmFsLm9yZy9sYV9jYXJ0YS81LW5ldy15ZWFycy10cmFkaXRpb25zLWluLWxhdGluLWFtZXJpY2Ev ) around the block to ensure good travel in the coming year. Or, if you're in the American South, you're probably eating some black-eyed peas and greens ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/kkhmh6hn4rl3pmil/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMS8xMi8yNC9kaW5pbmcvYmxhY2stZXllZC1wZWFzLWdyZWVucy1uZXcteWVhcnMuaHRtbA== ): the peas symbolize coins, leafy greens represent paper money, and cornbread often stands in for gold, becoming an edible wish for prosperity. In Japan, the New Year is tied to osechi ryori ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/58hvh7hglqmzwls6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuamFwYW5lc2Vmb29kZ3VpZGUuY29tL29zZWNoaS1yeW9yaS1uZXcteWVhci1mb29kLWphcGFuLw== ): lacquered boxes filled with sweet black soybeans for health and diligence, herring or salmon roe for fertility and golden chestnut mash for wealth and prosperity. In Italy, people wear red underwear ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/25h2hoh3n62exlu3/aHR0cHM6Ly9ibG9nLmNhbGlkYS5jb20vZW4vcmVkLXVuZGVyd2Vhci1mb3ItbmV3LXllYXIv ) on New Year's Eve. In the Philippines, they wear polka dots ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/g3hnh5hmxr3k29ir/aHR0cHM6Ly9uZXh0c2hhcmsuY29tLzUtcXVpcmt5LWZpbGlwaW5vLW5ldy15ZWFyLXRyYWRpdGlvbnM= ) (though, not so much on their underwear. Mostly in other places.) And in Greece, everyone takes turns stomping on a pomegranate ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/3ohphkh3v07n8lcr/aHR0cHM6Ly9ncmVla3JlcG9ydGVyLmNvbS8yMDE4LzEyLzMxL3doeS1ncmVla3Mtc21hc2gtYS1wb21lZ3JhbmF0ZS1vbi1uZXcteWVhcnMtZGF5Lw== ) until it breaks into thirteen pieces — which brings good luck to each month, plus a little extra for trying to wash out the pomegranate juice from your shoes and pants. Actually, no one really knows when the New Year starts ------------------------------------------------------ January 1 hasn’t always marked the start of the year. In ancient Rome, the new year began in March ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/n2hohvhvem3k49c6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmF0aW9uYWxnZW9ncmFwaGljLmNvbS9oaXN0b3J5L2FydGljbGUvdGhlLW5ldy15ZWFyLW9uY2Utc3RhcnRlZC1pbi1tYXJjaC1oZXJlcy13aHk= ) with the return of spring. It wasn’t until 45 B.C. that Julius Caesar, through the Julian calendar, officially moved the new year to January 1, partly because that’s when new government officials took office. And, weirdly, the first day of the year is 25 hours long ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/wnh2hghq8nw3d0h7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmF0aW9uYWxnZW9ncmFwaGljLmNvbS9jdWx0dXJlL2FydGljbGUvbmV3LXllYXItbWFwLWZpcnN0LWxhc3QtY291bnRyaWVzLWludGVybmF0aW9uYWwtZGF0ZS1saW5l ). Because the international date line marks where each day begins and ends, and because the line zigzags across the Pacific to match borders (where there are 38 local time standards, including half-hour and 45-minute offsets), it all adds up to taking about 25 hours for all inhabited places to finish the year's first “day.” Christmas Island is usually the first place to welcome in a new year, while the last inhabited places are Niue and American Samoa. And if you want to take more vacation this year, you're in luck. You can stretch 11 PTO days into 41 days off ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/08hwh9h2qvdk44bl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudHJhdmVsYW5kbGVpc3VyZS5jb20vbWF4aW1pemUtcHRvLXZhY2F0aW9uLWRheXMtaW4tMjAyNi13aXRoLXRoaXMtdHJhdmVsLWhhY2stMTE4NzA2MTk= ) in 2026, if you plan it correctly. How did you spend your New Year's? What big exciting plans do you have for 2026! What wish would you write on a piece of Times Square confetti? Let me know here in the comments ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/l2hehmhlwe3zg0u6/aHR0cHM6Ly9jaGFybGVzZHVoaWdnLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9wL3JhbmRvbS1iaXRzLW9mLWtub3dsZWRnZS1hYm91dC10aGU= )! Were you forwarded this message? Sign up for my newsletter ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/l2hehmhlwe3zp0t6/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NpZW5jZW9mYmV0dGVyLm5ldC8= ) ----------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed my books, please consider writing a review. ( https://2a23c2d5.click.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek/m2h7h5h3wv87rqcm/aHR0cHM6Ly9zdWJzdGFjay5jb20vcmVkaXJlY3QvMzkyZTEzNjctM2YwZi00ZjhjLTk4ZjctMGRhZGUzYWFmMzBhP2o9ZXlKMUlqb2lNbkZoWVdnMEluMC5EOWFfM1N1aTI5OW1scU5MS2lnRkJxN3poSlREMnV0T012bmxOWmwzbDVF ) (They work!) ​ ​Unsubscribe ( https://2a23c2d5.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek ) · Preferences ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/k0upm34o75f6h5zgr6oilho9x0577a8hrl6ek )​ ​